My first sucessful "first" date-DJ STYLE

[chicago#1]

Damn, this sh*t works like a charm.

For the last few weeks I have been focusing on my approach and getting numbers, but not calling most of them, wanting to work on my technique and confidence before progressing further.

I mentioned in a post that I ran a personal ad. I got about 5 bites, but only one seemed interesting enough to go through the trouble, so I set up the first date.

Turns out she is a 9.5 hottie in my book, and extra points for looking 8 years younger than her age (she's 37). She's new in town, so not too much competition, and she's dying for attention, probably 8-9 on the 10 scale. Three months ago I would have gone AFC in 5 seconds. Not this time.

She walks in and I immediately spot her, give her a big smile, she sits down. Eye contact is good, and she clearly is a bit nervous, so I decided to hold off on the neg hits for the time being. Conversation was 30% me, 70% her, and if there was a lull in the conversation, there was prolonged eye contact, and I'd give her abotu 5 seconds to start talking which she ususually did, and when she didn't I'd hit her with a question (open ended). I kept the conversation on her, kept her laughing, kept my answers short but enough to imply that there was more to the story, and told her some things that I held off on then first phone conversation. About halfway through the date she wants to go snowboarding next weekend! I sort of hymn and haw, explain that I sort of have a back injury. More talk about her background, where she's from, etc. She brings up movies, I tell her I generally do not go to them unless I'm with another person. Then I mention that I wouldn't mind seeing one soon. So she asks me out again to a see movie. I tell her yes, maybe that would be fun, but I make no plan with her.

When the bill comes, she is trying to pay her half, and I stop her "I'll get this one, you can pay next time". She's kind of taken aback, smiles, and says "ohhh, so there will be a next time??". Then she tells me she'll pay for the movie. Damn. I just smile. I end the date after about 1 1/2 hours of good conversation. Outside I give her a little kino, and tell her I'll call her sometime next week.

I am almost thinking that this one is a shoo in, and that all of this is formality to her at this point. I think she did well enough where I can allow her to take up a Saturday evening, heavy on the kino, where I'll go for the kiss.

Pretty easy, I would have been clueless right now if it weren't for you guys, thanks heaps.

 

[CONDE FRANCO]

Thats exellent, good job. tell us how did it go.

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"until the victory forever"
comandante guevara

 

[Page]

Good work, but there's one thing that you screwed up on: You should have kissed her at the end of your first date. It's a good indicator of her interest level (i.e. If she likes it, she's **probably** into you. If she doesn't want to kiss, or pulls away, you'd better keep on looking elsewhere.)

Apart from that little thing, you did great. On a date, I generally allow myself one mistake, so I can't really criticize you.

Besides, forgetting little things like that is part of our nature, don't worry too much about it but be sure to do it on your next date.

What do you have planned? Tel us how it goes, bro.

 

[Page]

Originally posted by Page:
Good work, but there's one thing that you screwed up on: You should have kissed her at the end of your first date. It's a good indicator of her interest level (i.e. If she likes it, she's **probably** into you. If she doesn't want to kiss, or pulls away, you'd better keep on looking elsewhere.)

Apart from that little thing, you did great. On a date, I generally allow myself one mistake, so I can't really criticize you.

Besides, forgetting little things like that is part of our human nature, don't worry too much about it but be sure to kiss her on your next date.

What do you have planned for the next date? Tel us how it goes, bro.

 

[Turbobird]

Originally posted by Page:
Good work, but there's one thing that you screwed up on: You should have kissed her at the end of your first date. It's a good indicator of her interest level (i.e. If she likes it, she's **probably** into you. If she doesn't want to kiss, or pulls away, you'd better keep on looking elsewhere.)

Apart from that little thing, you did great. On a date, I generally allow myself one mistake, so I can't really criticize you.

Besides, forgetting little things like that is part of our nature, don't worry too much about it but be sure to do it on your next date.

What do you have planned? Tel us how it goes, bro.

I don't agree with you, Page. He knew her interest and what he did seemed as a challange to her. On the other hand, I think it was a mistake to let her know it will be another date. She should think about this after the date... and she will think of you and she will think about if you will call her again.

/Turbobird

 

[Rico]

Okay...you did good brother! Macking is not an exact science, but it is an artform! However it's time for us DJ's to take our game to another level, and I'm about to tell you how. It has to do with figuring out a woman's representational system during conversation. This is what you do. You ask the open-ended questions but what you're looking for is if she is kinesthetic, visual, or auditory. The quickest way to do this is to ask her to recall her latest vacation. If she says she liked the sound of the waves, then she's probably auditory. What you will wanna do with this information is use it to your advantage. Here's an example of your situation chicago #1.

When she talked about snowboarding, you should've asked her what she liked about snowboarding. I must mention that while you're doing all of this keep the humor and the kino flowing.

Her: Why don't we go snowboarding.
You: Yeah...what do you like about snowboarding?
Her: Oh I love the way the wind feels against my face as I fly down the hill.
You: Yeah isn't it awesome the way the wind blows your hair back and you just feel like you're gliding into thin air?
Her: Yeah exactly...

What this serves to do is to create rapport with her (by having something in common) and to lead her thoughts where you want them to be. If you do this correctly is is very, very, very useful.

A recent example. I was talking to a woman and the conversation got into love and she asked me if I'd ever been in love before. Instead of saying yes and all that shyt, I responded by telling her the way love feels using her representational system with the others. When you use the other it helps to induce her into a trance like state where is caught up into what you are saying. For instance, I said something like..."Doesn't it feel like ice cream on a hot summer's day dripping down your chin, while you lick your fingers dry." She responded by saying yes you make me feel all tingly inside! This is very effective gentleman!!! I'm gonna post something about it, but it's kind of like eliciting values. You just use them to paint her a picture of what you want and she will feel that and thus feel that way about you...

 

[Gipper]

Well done chicago#1!

Yes, the techniques and advice given here seem almost like a well-presented magic trick when they are skillfully applied.

Now, you just have to keep the momentum going and continue to approach women. Practice is now a key to your success!

The only thing that I noticed you didn't try was a little kino. It's a very powerful technique, in my opinion, so try it out.

I look forward to hearing more success stories from you!

Gipper

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"There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know you're money, and that you want to party.
-Trent, from "Swingers"

Love is the self-delusion we manufacture to justify the trouble we take to have sex.
-Daniel S. Greenberg

 

[Paradox]

Moved to 'Success Stories' Forum

 

[Dr. Pimp]

Good work Chicago. I have a suggestion and a few questions that will help out both yourself and your fellow DJs. First off, if you get the numbers, make an effort to call as many of them as you can to work on your date set-up skills, even if you’re going to cancel on them. Otherwise it’s a waste of approaches because all you get is approaching exp. and no phone exp.

Now I need more description of your situation to help you out with your game. Describe the subjects you two touched on and the ones you two went deeper into, what forms of kino you two engaged in, what things made her laugh, did she respond back with humor of her own, how did you respond to it, how did you answer questions in a way to increase your mysteriousness, what happened after the your witty bill comment, etc. Try to include excerpts of your dialogue and we’ll see what we can do.

Dr.

 

[chicago#1]

Dr. and Rico, you certainly have the science. I did leave out a significant detail in all of this; during the initial set up, the subjct of "why are we doing this" (the personal ad thing) came up. I made it very clear what my intentions were; dating (as did my ad). I did this so that she would have the opportunity to back out if she was just looking for attention and nothing more. So she expects me to pull a move. She also told me "don't expect that you will fall in love with me immdiately"; meaning "don't put me on a pedastal or you're history", unless she has low self esteem or something, b/c she is a HB.

In resp. to Rico: She is visual and kinesthetic, but lower on audio. She is creative and she takes dancing lessons. She was not very swift inially on the phone, and so I was paying more attention to her gestures and expressions, while getting information from her. Other clues: she mentioned that she likes it when guys initiate the approach, because she can never pick em out; she mentioned the ex-boyfriend, but that lasted about 30 seconds and she dropped it w/ out me having to change the subject. On date two I will try these moves you mention and see what happens.

It is hard for me to analize all of the details, w/out obsessing too much so I figure the real test will be if she makes and keeps the second date, plays by my rules, is receptive and reciprocal with Kino, and lets me kiss her (if she doesn't kiss me first). Anything short of last two I will have to cut her of for a week. If she blows it on the first two she goes to the next pile, unless she calls and wants to take me out or makes a counteroffer.

I could have used more Kino the first time around; I will do much better next time.

On phone numbers--I actually called all of them today, mostly b/c I just wanted to get them off the table and not have to wonder about them. Got one date for monday, and got invited to another city close by to "spend the weekend" with an aquaintence. I figure with those things happening it will keep me from thinking about this one too much and skrewing it up.

 

[chicago#1]

message edited by chicago#1

[This message has been edited by chicago#1 (edited 02-21-2002).]

 

[lil devun]

good job bro. on a future date go snowboarding, chairlifts are great for gettin some play lol

 

[chicago#1]

Date #2 is on.....I set it up so that we would be within walking distance of her place when the "offical" activites end

. There will be some time to go for a walk between dinner and the movie, a perfect set up. We'll see how she does