My first attempt to drop AFC ness..need insight

[gr8tnezz]

First..let me express how glad I am that this forum is available. I got tired of reading about the 18 year old's adventures in the main forum. A forum for the mature male was very much necessary. Not to mention all the silly ebonics and ranting one had to sift through in the main forum.
Okay..my situation.

I've been seeing this girl for awhile but she's growing cold on me. I talked to her during the day and she mentioned going to a social function that evening. I told er that I had class at college and she said. "Well if we (meaning her girlfriends that were going with her) go out after the seminar, I'll call you." I said.."yeah..do" Well needless to say, she didn't call until ten that night and she was at the bar with her friends. She said that she was getting ready to go home. Obviously, I got punked. In my old AFC days I would have just forgave this behavior because I would fear that making an issue out of it would piss her off and make her mad enough to cut off the sex. Wow! That is AFC. Now that I am a budding DJ, I think the best thing to do is hit her right in the face with it. She mentioned that she "couldn't call me earlier." Which I know is bull$hit. The truth is she CHOSE not to call me earlier. So when I talk to her today I plan on calling her out on this. Will this make me seem "like a whiney pu$$" or do I need to just let it slide. Maybe mention it but no more? I'm still half AFC here and part of me thinks that if I say too much, she'll get turned off by someone getting in her business and totally cut of communication. She'll probably do that and honestly I don't care too much if she's going to treat me like that. BUt...I am wondering how to call her on this and end the conversation in such a way that allows her to call me back once she realizes what a mistake she made. She's likely to throw a female temper tantrum because I didn't let her walk all over me and play the whole thing up like she doesn't want to speak to me again. But I know that's not what she wants to do in her heart. I'm DJ enough for her to want to reconsider once I am removed from her daily life. So I'd like to leave things open for her return after she learns this lesson. What would you guys do? I'm not super pissed about it but I want her to know that I am aware of the doormat treatment. I'd still want her as a friend anyway.

 

[Good_ol_boy]

"She mentioned that she "couldn't call me earlier." Which I know is bull$hit. The truth is she CHOSE not to call me earlier. So when I talk to her today I plan on calling her out on this.'

AND

"I'm DJ enough for her to want to reconsider once I am removed from her daily life. So I'd like to leave things open for her return after she learns this lesson. "

Shouldn't you be too busy to do anything except answer the phone when SHE calls you?

 

[distraction]

So she invited you to a social event, and you couldn't make it? And you had a legit reason. Then she said she'd call you and she did, though it made you feel like an afterthought.

You've been with this girl for a "while." I can only guess that means on the terms of maybe a few months to less than a year. You say she is growing cold. Do you talk with or meet her daily? Does she cancel plans on you with any regularity without a valid alibi.

I don't think you need to confront her about it on this instance because you don't have a lot of leverage. You weren't available so she made herself unavailable. She knows what she did. You know she knows. So from the school of thought on hear that says actions speak louder than words. Retract a little don't call her so often, keep conversations shorter and don’t hang out with her and her friends. You didn’t want to be hanging out with her and her girlfriends anyway. It sounds like her IL may be waning so use some of the stuff in your DJ arsenal to try to up that interest level some. If you do decide to bust her on not calling you until she was ready to go home you should probably not let it appear that it bothered you. Something like “I wanted to go out the other night, but if you want to go out with your friends that’s fine, but don’t be calling me when you’re ready to come home drunk and are looking for some action. Let me work up your appetite next time baby.”

Maybe not that, but something that doesn’t show that her behavior got under your skin.

Point of Observation: In hanging out with a group of drunk girls recently, the two of the four of them that had boyfriends went home and f(u)cked them after going out with the girls for the night. All night long their conversations were about sex, who they thought was cute, and who was available. I can’t think of an instance when I got together with my friends that we talked like this for an entire evening. Let her girlfriends do your work for you. You should have gotten her back to your place and showed her why you should have been part of her evening.

 

[gr8tnezz]

Good stuff Distraction.

I reviewed my DJ material and realized my critical error that you very adeptly pointed out. I let my emotions dictate my course of action and worse, revealed it to her. Very Wu$$y like and not a suprise that she reacted like she did. Fortunately I recovered in time. Not so much to save face on this incident but more importantly, I recovered and learned from my mistake. A big step from a former AFC that would have stewed over this for a weekend. Now, I have pretty much blown it off. I thought that this is very silly to get worked up over it when there are so many girls out there to play with. In essence, her behavior cost her some credibility with me and she has lost the extra credit I was giving her. It's up to her to earn it back..if she isn't interested in doing that...oh well, her loss. And it would be too.
Thanks fellas!

p.s. Yes I detest ebonics and I use the 8 and two zz's because it's based on an email address with a major service..one that already had greatness subscribed to.