my feelings towards my gf are diminishing, help!

[lordson]

im with a girl and about to enter a LTR but she keeps saying, she almost loves me; is going to fall in love with me soon

and at the time i felt the same about her too, but recently i dont really know how i feel about her

i was boredring on the love/one-itis thing

i've been with her for 2 months and i've seen her everyday and called her every night, i know i know, too much, but can't help it

i used to like her alot and felt like i was going to fall in love with this girl, but now i jsut feel nothing.

and i have no explanation for it, maybe shes giving me everythign i want too quickly or something,

shes an amazing girl and i want to be with her and i do want to fall in love with her, and i know i can't force myself

wtf is wrong with me???

 

[Bonhomme]

Why would you WANT to have oneitis?

What you feel is what you feel. Roll with it.

 

[BLUEox117]

time for a change, there is no chemistry.

 

[john_1234]

from my experience, if you have to question your feelings for her, then you probably don't really like her.

 

[DonJuanMonk]

Seems like the case of "You're not into her that much."

Nothing wrong with this at all. If a woman can't keep a man from wondering around then she is the problem, not you.

 

[penkitten]

hmm you see heres where i question things like this ...

if you are almost in love or about to fall in love = what does that mean?

for me , its all or nothing. i either am in love or i am not in love. i either am falling in love or i did fall in love or i did not fall in love at all.
OR
i fell in love but then i fell out of love and those feelings are gone.

 

[DonJuanMonk]

Originally posted by penkitten
hmm you see heres where i question things like this ...

if you are almost in love or about to fall in love = what does that mean?

for me , its all or nothing. i either am in love or i am not in love. i either am falling in love or i did fall in love or i did not fall in love at all.
OR
i fell in love but then i fell out of love and those feelings are gone.

:woo: :woo: :woo:

 

[B-Lemond]

I am in the same situation as you, except I've been with her for about 8 months.


I don't think there is anything wrong with you, especially since you guys have only been seeing eachother for 2 months. I can remember when I was with her for two months and I didn't even think about love or anything.

Just think about having a good time and forget about wheter you love her or not. I don't think I experienced love until maybe 6-7 months into the relationship.

Just have fun with it is my advice.

 

[penkitten]

not all relationships are meant to lead to falling in love either.

 

[Anomalous]

Didn't think is was posible to fall in love with a fat hoe...............135 lbs maybe 140.......


EDIT: you konw who you are

 

[lordson]

i know i can't force myself to feel somethign aobut somebody

but i dont know where my feelings went or where they are atm

im under a bit of stress and have something very very major on my mind atm, could that be it?

i hope i start feeling things for her i have before, because i dont know if ill be able to stay with her if i dont (duh), but i dont want to play her and just dump her later down the track when i feel nothign and she is totally in love with me

youre in the same position now bleulemond? or you were in that position before?

 

[I'm Joe Dirt]

Attraction is not a choice.

She must be doing something to lower the level of attraction she can inspire in you.

 

[B-Lemond]

Originally posted by lordson

youre in the same position now bleulemond? or you were in that position before?

I am in that position now, as well as in the past.

My advice would be to have fun with this girl. In my experience having a good time with the girl increased my interest for her, or at least made it clear.

I don't really have THE answer because LOVE is very complicated.

Nonetheless, I strongly recommend that you read:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16117

since you are in a LTR.


Also, if you really don't know how you feel about her, JUST LEAVE.

Stop all contact with her for a while (maybe go on a trip) and see if that affects you or not. If it affects you then you really do care about her. If not, then you don't.

Good Luck

 

[lordson]

she got kinda annoyed at me today, and i felt that i might lose her

and boy did they fvck me up, so im scared as hell of losing her,

but still unsure of my feelings

we have been doing boring kinda things for a bit

i guess im just 'settlinig in' so theres no need to do fun things

i probalby should start again

 

[[o_0]]

thats normal. you want something until you get it. someday you will find a girl that you gonna want even when you get her. it took me few years to find one, but now its cool.

 

[thejackofalltrades]

I know the feeling man...I've been in an LTR for the last 7 months and have felt my IL drop drastically a lot recently, and I considered moving on, but I figured we were so compatible that I couldn't just give up without trying something. This past weekend all the good feelings came back when we got all dressed up and went out to a nice dinner like we would when we first going out, and then came back to my place and watched the same tv shows that we watched when we first started talking. And I went crazy for her when I smelled her perfume cuz it was the same one she wore on our second date. All those old things, especially the perfume, seemed to cue the old feelings of being crazy about her. Plus we added some new activities to do together. She actually played xbox with me, and we mixed things up a bit in the bedroom.

My interest in her isn't as high as it was when we first started going out, and I'm not thinking about her as much as I used to, but I have thoroughly enjoyed spending time with her and we've reached a level of comfort with each other that is kind of nice.

My advice would be to try something to respark the interest. Try to do something that used to be exciting for the two of you or do something completely new that will be fun for both of you. It's easy for your interest to drop when you get into a boring routine, and transitioning from an exciting new relationship to a comfortable LTR where the excitement isn't quite as high is a bit difficult, but if you think this girl is worth it, try to do something before you write her off.

 

[Vibe]

Here's my advice:

Sometime this week, surprise her with a date. Take her someplace fun and original. Don't tell her where you're going. It doesn't have to be expensive or fancy - it just has to be fun.

Why will this help?

I have been in quite a few long-term relationships, and I have found that one of the best things you can do to keep both you and the girl happy is to never let it go stale. In other words, always be dating her. Always play the ****y/funny. Always be teasing her, flirting with her, etc. It will raise both her interest level and yours. Keep the relationship fun and alive and you will BOTH stay happier for longer.

~Vibe~


EDIT: Guess Jackofalltrades touched on this already. Well yeah - I agree.

 

[thejackofalltrades]

Good idea Vibe...spur of the moment dates are great. I remember one night when my gf and I just kind of randomly went out after doing hw, stopped at a random place to eat and decided to see a movie, it was one of our more fun dates.

It's so easy to stop doing fun stuff...it was especially easy for me cuz it didn't seem like my gf needed that kind of stuff...we stopped going out as much and doing exciting things and she was still all over me. But I quickly learned that doing different things was more for me, cuz I'd get bored kind of easily.

 

[[o_0]]

just be happy that you care less, coz shes gonna care more now. try dating other chicks for some time behind her back. it will show you how nice she is.

 

[Warrior Princess]

You are getting bored with her because you see her too often.

....or maybe the sex just isn't good.

Try this: Tell her how you feel about her and ask her how she feels about you. I believe the problem here is miscommunication.


Good luck!


Meg