My ex wants to see me tonight

[Legend]

Alright...we have been broken up for three weeks now. Do i go out with her to like starbucks for some coffee with her or should i not even bother. My interest level was 90%. It is now lets say 10%. She thinks i am seeing her a 9:00. Do i go? The odds of me getting laid will be probably 60% nothing, 40% homerun. She really did hurt me though and now that i am over her i'm not sure if i should even bother.

In this three weeks time i have met three new girls. Two of the three i have much interest in but its not to the level i would like it to be at.

I do miss her but it is worth getting back into things again. She told me is just wants to be friends....it would be friends with benefits i'd make sure of that.

Yay or Nay?

Thanks for the input

-John

 

[iqqi]

this is your call legend, and you know it.

what exactly do you want? what are you willing to chance?

 

[Big Pappy]

Would you be able to be friends with a girl who no longer has any attraction for you?

Me, I would put her off for another few weeks, as I would need a bit more time to get my own interest level to drop.

If you can work the Fwb, then what would be different? Frequency? Exclusivity?

 

[Legend]

I dont know what i want with her but i do hurt.

What i am not willing to chance is my heart being hurt again.

She said...if you can find my number i will go out with you tonight. I told her i dont have them anymore...of i do though, i know them by heart.

I really dont know if i should call her to go or just bail and continue to move on and Live well(slick). I am over her but i do think of her less and feel good talking to other girls. But the thing is...i have no other girl yet. I have some that i am interested in, but i have'nt seen them around to much.

 

[drixsa]

I dont know what i want with her but i do hurt.

i dont see how seeing her for coffee is going to do any good right now.

espically when chances are you are going to be a lil emotional (c'mon lets be honest)

i still fail to see why this girl deserves a 2nd chance right now

 

[DEKKA]

tell her to meet you at starbucks or whatever then dont show up... thats the funniest option in my opinion.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by DEKKA
tell her to meet you at starbucks or whatever then dont show up... thats the funniest option in my opinion.

Nah, that's strait up AFC. If you don't want to have anything to do with her, tell her face to face. Otherwise, if you want her back, have her grovel face to face.

 

[MarkHenry]

Look man, she told you she just wanted to be friends, that says it all. Getting back with her for coffee is only going to make things worse on yourself. Stay away from her and go out with one of your new girls or your boys instead.

 

[DEKKA]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Nah, that's strait up AFC. If you don't want to have anything to do with her, tell her face to face. Otherwise, if you want her back, have her grovel face to face.

oh god no! is that AFC!?!?!?! hahaha who cares whats AFC and whats not AFC?

my dogs AFC i think.

and no, this has nothing to do with avoidance, its about getting a laugh at somebody elses expense. (something i derive a sick pleasure from sometimes)

 

[Ice Cold]

It will hurt, but realize this:

1) "It's no use, Rhett, you're still poisoned with her" (c) Gone with the wind

Your IL is way past severties, you're just in denial. She's still your one-itis


2) She disrespects you. She loathes and despises you. You're her playtoy.

if you can find my number i will go out with you tonight.

Notice the big 10 m sculpture, called the pedestal. You're kissing the base.

She will hurt you and toss you. She wants to use you for ego boosting.

DO NOT GO UNLESS YOU BRING A HIGH IL HOTTIE WITH YOU

 

[Paid Laid & Made]

Don't go, unless you want to end up as the emotional tampon. Cause if the ex wants to be friends ... you will end up being that unless you draw the line and make it really clear to her. I doubt you can walk away with benefits and if you even show the slightest incling of still wanting her, she will get an ego boost and that will be about it. Go with one of the other girls or like the others have said make it a guys night out.

 

[E-Z Rider]

Hmm...I think I'm going to write a standard formula for dealing with ex's.

The hardest part is deciding if you'll leave "the door" open, or shut it.

I tend to agree with the statement that your IL in her is still high. Otherwise you wouldn't be posting to us asking whether or not you should go.

I think that in most cases, the guy tends to want to leave the door open. But this can be a mistake. It might be better to shut it entirely. But I myself am stubborn- I hate to close doors completely.

So...you say she hurt you. Depending upon what she did, you might be better off walking away from it and canceling the date. Incommunicado. Next.

If you wanna give her another chance, then you gotta treat this whole situation as if this was a new chick with an undetermined IL.

See her spontaneously. Be friendly, but not 'girl-friendly', if you know what I mean. Use kino spontaneously to raise her interest. Have fun on dates. Don't have any serious talks. Just do fun stuff.

Take her out a few times like that, building up attraction. Then make a move. Then date her non-exclusively. If she proves herself worthy to you, you can make her exclusively.

I posted a real in-depth thingy on this very subject, if you're interested. Just search my posts from about a week ago.

**Oh yes...right now you need to start doing things to actively improve yourself, and also get more dating options, so you're not limited to this chick. That's the most important part of the process.


So decide if you want to shut the door on her or not. That's the only hard thing really.

Peace- -E-Z

 

[Legend]

Ice cold and E-z rider...great posts.

Thanks to all who replied. I am not going to go because things are never going to be the way i want them to be with this girl. Everything will start all over again and end badly again.

Thanks for making me realize that this girl is not worth my time. Why should i waste money on a girl that things are already sour with? The odds are we would go out and just end up fighting because she is very *****y.

Glad i posted this here....saved me from getting into trouble tonight.

 

[OpenMind]

Legend, i feel for you man! i know it hurts but you made the right choice! go out and find some other woman who is much more worthy of your time.. you have too much to offer to give a woman a cup of coffee and be an emotional tampon to her when there are 1000s of women right now who want to be with you..... good luck!

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Have sex with her but nothing more =) See how she reacts Generally sex is the answer to any question

 

[Legend]

openmind i am drunk right now but you advice and input means the world to me. Thanks bro

 

[Omega]

*Muches on popcorn*


Aww, that was...unique.