My Current Situation

[aiyerrc]

hey all, im new to DJ, and im switching over from the sobby relationships websites over to a more fast-paced, dont give a s*** websites. i need some insight on my current situation with my girlfriend of 3 months.

NOTE: this is copy pasted from my thread on another website, so dont bash it too much...

i have been dating this girl for about 2 months, and shes great. shes beautiful, funny, smart, etc..

basically, im starting to get thhe feeling like im trying to hard bc i seem to be the only one who is putting forth any effort into the relationship. i know she likes me, she wouldnt be dating me if she didnt. its not the crazy sex we are having because we havent had it yet.

one of my friends pretty much summed it up with this example:

To Me: Say you are hanging out with your 5 best friends, having a good time, and she calls you and asks you to go to dinner in an hour; would you?"

To Friend: of course

To Me: now reverse the roles. would she do the same?

To Her: no, she wouldnt leave her friends to eat dinner if i asked her, but then again, she would never ask me to go to dinner, because she never initiates wanting to see me.

what do i do?

we both go to college, and christmas break started today, so i wont see her for about 4 weeks. a few times, i tried to see if she wanted to get together over the break; i could come see her, she could some see me, anything at all, and of course she indirectly and very politely found a way to say no to any kind of face to face contact over the break. WHY!?!? if she likes me, she should want to see me right?

i just learned a few days ago, she decided to go with one of her friends and her friends BF to a mountain house with him and some of hius friends.he is going to be there with other guys, while she has made no effort or attempt to see me.

as of now, i have decided not to call her, text, her or initiate any kind of contact at all over the break. as hard as this is for me, and its not my nature, i feel its the only way to get the point across that she cant keep treating me like this.

Do your think this is the right thing to do?
What is her deal?

is she even worth it?

a few things to fill in the background story

she had a serious BF for 3 years, so that might make her a bit hesitant towards me

i came to her about 3 weeks ago and basically had a serious talk about stuff she was doing wrong, but it came off as if i was wanting more than she was willing to give.

 

[j0n024]

Hmm I think you should next her because of how it sounded in your post. I mean your with this girl for how long and she doesnt want to see you or even acknowledge you for a whole month! Wow I dont know dude just totally forget about her dont call her and say it's over dont go over and yell at her for not telling you where she was or did on the break just dont call her and forget about her. Think of her as an old friend that you dont really want to see anymore....now IF she comes up to you and tries to be all loveydovey either push her away and ask "What are you doing," or act indifferent about it and say you gotta go and leave her there wondering why your not all over her anymore.

Bottom line .....Forget her SHE doesn't deserve YOU! Remember this no women that treats you like this doesn't deserve a guy like YOU...YOU are the Prize never forget this.

You should start to do stuff for you, work out, run, start to become a better dj, just do things that make you happy and forget this stupid Hoe(Sorry but that's how I see her) Dont fret about her and start to dj some of her friends maybe just dont destroy yourself just to please some girl that doesnt even care about your feelings. Good luck.

 

[PlaysToWin]

Your relationship is certainly already over. She's lost interest in you. It happens. Things just fizzle out. Don't beat yourself up about it fizzling out but take note of your failure to realise how over the relationship actually is and know for future.

Incidentally, she hasn't found anyone better yet or else she'd have dumped you by now. Girls generally do that.

You are correct to not chase her up while she is away at your trip. Just don't give her the satisfaction of demonstrating how annoyed you are at her. she doesn't deserve that.

Your options are:

1. Dump her immediately. Don't be bitter about it or anything, just get it over with. No hard feelings. Etc.

or

2. Don't outright dump her but put no further effort into the relationship, don't try make plans, don't initiate contact with her, etc. Basically do what she is doing to you.

Either way, just keep your eyes open for other girls, head out with your mates, do some approaching, get a few numbers, start dating again.

 

[aiyerrc]

the thing is is that i think may have pushed for things too fast too soon. she called me after i ignored her for 2 days wondering what was up, and i said i had been busy. then, she talked about what she was getting me for christmas, small talk, stuff like that..she thinks everything is fine, or at least to my knowledge..personally i miss the physical part of it, and thats what im afraid of losing. deep down, im hoping not calling or texting her will make her realize she is going to lose me or has possibley already lost me, raise my attraction level back up and make her come back to me..

sorry, but my DJ skills are still new, and its hard to let this one go..

 

[thissean]

sounds like a bit of oneitis. just go out and learn how to have fun without her. try to meet other girls, if you fail or get rejected, who cares? its not big deal, just try again. learn from your mistakes and try something new.

Work out, run, read up on body language or something similar. Study if youre in school. Catch up with your friends, perhaps do some serging with them. there is a lot that you can do which are all fun that dont require your gf. Do things on your own terms and dont make your schedules around her. Its your life so make it around yourself!