my college life sucks

BlahBBlah

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hello i'm new here.

i am getting closer and closer to the end of college and i will have had no dates or anything from girls at this school (although i have hooked-up before but mainly with girls who have less self-respect than me and are maybe a 6/10 at the highest -- i'll admit it). plus it doesn't help that this campus is so dry. hardly any clubs or social activities going on on-campus, especially during the weekends. it is especially dry here on the weekends and it's annoying. and i can never find anyone to go to a bar or club with. i hate going to those places alone. i have hardly any friends and the friends i do have never seem to want to go with me to a bar or some place so i can maybe meet some more girls.

and yes, i did read some of the DJ Bible. good read by the way. my main problem with all of this is that i have been so unmotivated to even have a social life or a gf lately because of my situation. so obviously it would be why i have no social life or gf. but i don't know what it is. i just feel so unmotivated to do it because i rarely connect with people. my interests are so different from other people. i just feel like an idiot when i try to meet new people. i start saying some random **** pertaining to their topic and then all of the sudden they are like wtf. so then it makes me just more quiet. i just never know what to talk about with people. i am in a club for one of my interests, but i still don't even connect with them very well. i've totally lost any interest in even trying with this stuff lately and i guess i just need some help with all of this.
 

insanity

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stop evaluating what your thinking and saying. your afraid that everything you say is going to offend someone. jus say whats on your mind. some people will agree and some people may not. the people who don't agree...screw em.

i found teasing people always seems to get people to open up. it's really playful.
it works really well with girls. ever notice even guys tease each other about alot of things. thats a surefire way to make some friends
 

BlahBBlah

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yeah it's really tough for me to open up. i am still very much in my shell even after a few years in college. i have been working out at the gym for over a year now to increase some confidence. i've never been more confident about my looks. but it when comes to these social situations, i tend to freeze up a lot. usually it's simply because i have nothing to contribute to the topic being discussed. it's annoying. and when there are women in the conversation, i freeze up even more. been like this for the longest time.

but again my main problem right now is this issue of motivation i described in the first post.
 

insanity

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sometimes i blame the weather for my mood. if it's cold and rainy, i have no motivation at all. when it's sunny and bright lookout baby.

spring is here and around the corner is summer.
 

BlahBBlah

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always a possibility. :p

but seriously, i just feel like i don't belong to this whole college life deal. i actually love school a lot. i love to study a lot and talk about a lot of different subjects. but it just seems like so many have this same sort of 'i don't give a **** about school -- let's party' sort of attitude. i just can't hold a conversation with someone like that. i don't even want to try. i don't see a reason to.

even when i meet someone who seems to care more about their studies and to talk about things like philosophy, i barely connect with them if anything. it's frustrating.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

blinkwatt

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BlahBBlah said:
always a possibility. :p

but seriously, i just feel like i don't belong to this whole college life deal.
You sound like me. All my friends left to college and I opted for the JC to save my parents money and I really dont enjoy school. I see and hear(pictures and phone conversations) how my friends who left are loving it and having a blast getting drunk and experimenting,but to be honest I wouldnt have it any other way. No excusses how there are none of "this" or "that",I could use that one to if I wanted to. Any time you see a female is an oppurtunity to practice conversation skills and/or potential to get laid. For me I currently findself picking up women all the time at my job and I love it,I look forward coming to work everyday(no joke).
 

BlahBBlah

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yeah...

i just need to find some people to go out with to social places like bars, clubs, etc. none of my current friends ever want to go.
 

DetectiveMills

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If your college is listed on Facebook, you could always just add some people to your friends list. Don't let the "friends" thing fool you... they don't have to be your friends to be added to your friends list. There are people on campus that have 578 "friends" yet do not leave the computer lab any day of the week. I can tell you that they are not close with 578 people on campus!

So what you do is just try to make some friends on there. At one time, you could add up to 15 people per day (maybe they've changed it). So even if only 2 of 15 people accept your friend request per day, that's 14 people per week. You're apt to make at least a couple of those 14 people as your friends. Just read some people's "Walls" on Facebook... nearly every message is somebody saying "Can't wait to see you at the bars..." "We're going out Thursday, u ready?!" <----- You'll see a variation of these messages... just add these people to your friends list. They are obviously social people and will probably hang out with ya. In college, people just like to hang out and party. Just don't be too picky in the beginning and I'm sure you'll find some people that you can just ask "You guys going out tonight" to and just meet them there.
 

Deadly_Ripped

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As far as JC goes, I was there for a year and found myself without any friends outside of those I kept after high school, and with no social functions and few club opportunities organized by/for the students. I just decided to look at it as an opportunity to focus on my schoolwork. It wasn't until after about a year of going to a 4 yr university that I really started to make friends and build my social network. I 'practiced' by forcing myself into situations where I knew I wanted to be, but felt awkward.

I have also found that polishing my conversational techniques and foxusing on my facial expressions and body language, I've made it easier for people to feel comfortable around me. It's made a tremendous impact on my life, and it is almost exclusively the result of surfing this website and putting into practice what I've read. A friend gave me the web addy for this place in my soph year in high school. Since then I have gone from being borderline antisocial with practically no one who cared wether I was alive or dead (other than family) to making a new friend or two every time I go out for a night with a group of people.

I wonder, if you're so unmotivated, but you care so much, might you want to reconsider the emotion you feel that you're experiencing? I often felt like I wasn't 'up' for going to a party, but once I got there it was a whole different story. The truth is that I didn't feel up for it because I assumed that once I got there nothing would come naturally, I'd feel uncomfortable, and no one would pay me any attention. IT HAPPENS, but it happens less and less often as I go out more and more, and the first step was to say to myself: "ok, I don't want to go out right now, but I want to have friends. In order to make friends I have to go out, and now I have the opportunity. I will take the opportunity,try one or two things out (and only one or two because any more and you'll lose track) that I read on sosuave, and see what happens." It worked. Your lack of motivation might be a lack of excitement about going out because you already have placed in your mind the idea that you're not going ot have fun, so ignore that feeling, and force yourself to GO ANYWHERE WITH ANYONE and if it doesn't go well, then it was a GREAT learning experience.

Hope this helps.
 

Socialreject

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insanity said:
it works really well with girls. ever notice even guys tease each other about alot of things. thats a surefire way to make some friends
Oh hell yeah... i dunno what things are like with your buddies, but with mine it totally doesn't stop at teasing. There is lots and lots of competing involved. We will compete about everything... Totally trash a guy if he screws up. Man the abuse i have to hear when some chick blows me off... LOL!

Smack the crap out of each other when we are placing a bet on whatever. Saying hello doesn't really happen with a hardy handshake... more like a hard shoulder punch! And if a guy complains about the shoulder punch he's definitely getting his butt flooded with comments about his pretty skin bruising etc.

A night out with the boys is usually all about competing over chicks, and whatnot, smack talking to each other and throwing our weight around with each other, chest pounding, etc.

But yeah, you have to know how far you can go with a guy. Some guys will freak out if you handle them to rough. But tbh those guys, screw them! The thing is, when another guy joins our group, they kind of pick up on it right away cause everyone else in the group is doing it!

I've had a couple times where a guy who isn't really familiar with the group yet would ask something like "dude.. i thought he was gonna kick your butt for a moment!". But the point is that because of all this crap, the group is so tight that real conflicts are basically non existent!

I'm pretty confident that when a buddy of mine ends up with a serious case of one-itis, and i tell him i think she is a b1tch (with reason), that he's gonna get over his one-itis pretty damn fast. And that is just bonding and rapport talking right there. Now i have to mention though, the way we treat each other... we've known each other for almost a decade! And i remember quite some years ago we were much less agressive around each other (but then we were still very young as well so that may also have something to do with it)

So yeah, looking at how me and my buddies treat each other, i would definitly say, if you wanna make friends with a guy, bust on his ass! Do it in a friendly, non threatning manner at first and as you get to know each other and build more and more rapport, start treating him rougher!

I think what men really want out of their friends is someone to satisfy their natural urge to compete, you give them that and they will like you for it. But yeah, don't take what i'm saying as solid gold or anything. I really never had to think about how to get along with guys, i just did it... i only ever had to think about how to handle women, since obviously punching her on the shoulder and going "hey what's up b1tch" to then poor down your drink in one go and really let the air out of your stomach doesn't really 'do it' for women ;-)

So yah, i'm a total pig with my friends, and a gentlemen with the ladies... tough combination, but it works out for me! Tough to be honest, i'm always a bit of a pig :-D
 

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

BlahBBlah

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i never get invited anywhere in the first place. so don't even have a party to go to almost every weekend.

and when i do get a chance ... yeah that's how i feel. b/c every time i have gone to parties in the past, it was just really ackward for me and just didn't feel like socializing with random people i would probably never meet again. i guess i'm just not into the party scene. not that i hate drinking, but i just always feel very, very uncomfortable in any social scene. especially any social situation that involves more than one other person. i just totally freeze up and have nothing to talk about unless it pertains to subjects i study a lot at school (and free time) for (like philosophy, working out, computers, etc.). so i get so uncomfortable and think about when someone will say 'hey how come you are so quiet'. and also, most of these conversations that happen at parties are just so pointless to me.

i dunno, i will be going to another state for an internship this summer (great pay and a great company, at least that side of my life is going superb), so it could be a fresh start for me to get myself out of this rut i've been in for the longest time.

and yes, i am still here on a saturday night.:eek:
 

So pimp its scary

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I'm gonna start by getting you to read my signature... but don't take it too personally.

Here's your solution : Meet 1 new person every day untill the end of school... talk to them long enough that you will recognize them and just acknowledge them as you walk past. Start Monday.... NO EXCEPTIONS!!
 
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