My biggest mindset shift as a DJ: The disillusion of 'No Contact' and 'Oneitis'

[Kotnusfreak]

Something went terribly wrong; she lost interest or you acted weak or she got drunk and slept with your best friend. You vow to cut her off and never speak to her again. You promise yourself that you have standards and will walk away with pride. You scour the forums reading about 'no contact' and how to respond in this specific instance. You want her to feel like she made a mistake by discarding you.

In most cases when you're dating a female it's best to not react. After all, if you're a busy guy with lots of options it shouldn't bother you too much. You should build such an amazing life that this is the response a majority of the time. But there are cases when you KNOW DEEP DOWN that you should REMOVE this person from your life for whatever reason. For the sake of your own well being and psychological health. You need to let go and get back to feeling normal again.

95% of people implementing 'no contact' are hoping that the women they lost will come back. They stay friends with them on Facebook. They let them keep following them on Instagram. They peer at their Snapchat stories without clicking them. Though they will never admit it, they make posts secretly hoping this certain women will see them. Everyday they cling to the idea that things will return to the way they were in the past. This women consumes their subconscious.

People are going to argue that indifference is key. That it's best to not react and not remove this women from social media/your life. What will she think of me? Will she think I'm bitter? Will this hurt my chances to win her back?

I'm going to break it down plain and simple: stop being a weak ***** and block her on Facebook. Block her on Instgram. Block her on every platform. Block her phone number. Accept that you messed up and are going to learn from it and move on with your life. Focus on self-improvement, read books, exercise, meet women, study and live an epic life. Not because someday she will regret it but because you have self-respect and are doing all these things for yourself. Because you have the self worth to remove yourself from a situation YOU KNOW DEEP DOWN is unhealthy and troublesome.

It may seem reactionary but it truly is not giving a ****. It's burning the bridge and moving on with your life. Stop being afraid to lose this person and move on with your ****ing life already.

 

[BrainDamage92]

I think its about who breaks it off. The one who breaks it off holds the other captive until the other moves on. Then the first one gets stung so deleting FB and cutting contact and such is a good thing when a person feels stung couse it avoids much drama and problemos, but a person you gave so much of your time can't just dissapear so in the long term dont be an ass be polite with them after strong emotions fade. This is what I did in my case, she said at one point after I left her and ran far away (thank god) she is seing a new guy, so knowing the snake she is, she was going to use me as a tool to make her new fool feel competition. The usual paint-my-ex-black would be enough, thank you. So I completely cut her off. Women...

Thing is you need to sit your as down and think like: "Why did I commit to a psycho?", "Why did my girlfriend sleep with my best friend.", and generally why you put yourself in the position youre in, regardless of who left who, and who cheated on who and all the details think deeper than that, and chances are you were both no saints ...

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

Very good post.

You want to be true motherfvcker ? The Alpha ? Make her disposable like she made you.

It took me half ear and broke my heart but I did block my ex on FB to burn the last bridge and let the hope die.True man should be something better than a man living in hope.Clinging on hope is pathethic.You are like princess in damsel waiting for her knight to come back.Be a man, take pain, move on.That's it.

I wish I would do it straight away.My ex used me as emotional tampon and also used me as 'competition tool' too to monkeybranch new guy.

--
Always use the dog strategy.If your dogs attacks you take him to vet and make him dead.If your woman dumped you - she should be like dead to you.

 

[RangerMIke]

Walking away always works if you REALLY walk away, and don't try to use it as some chick-like manipulation tool.

If she thinks she lost you and still wants you she'll reach out, then you can decide what you want to do.

If she doesn't, then it is the best way to completely move on.

 

[yungballa]

you are a fvcking genius, sometimes i feel like this about certain girls, ty for these words