My best friend!

[sadora]

Okay, so I've been coming to this site and checking on all the tips, like everyone here, wanting to be better with meeting women. The tips are great and most have honestly helped.

So as my first post on this message board I would like to post my current situation to see what kind of advice I can get from the DJ's here.

I have been friends with this girl for 10+ years, there have been moments in the past where I felt like I wanted something more with her but always put those feelings aside for whatever reason, like being in a relationship or not wanting to screw up the friendship. Until recently we would hang out from time to time but never on a constant basis. Now though, things have progressed to her calling me at least twice a day, wanting to go to the gym with me whenever I go, and getting into some more sexual conversations. We pretty much hang out 4-5 days a week. I still don't know how to get a proper read on things though because until recently she was still in a complicated situation with her on again/off again guy of 4 years. While they haven't been together in a relationship sense for a while but they were still "trying" to be friends. A couple of days ago she told me that she's basically done with that and she told the guy to lose her number and forget he never met her. I've know her well enough to know that this situation is finally over for her but that still doesn't give me a clear idea of how to read this new attention she's giving me. I do have feelings for this girl but the last thing I would want to do is ruin our friendship by making a wrong move, so if anyone here has any thoughts, advice, please feel free to share.

 

[jophil28]

I still don't know how to get a proper read on things though because until recently she was still in a complicated situation with her on again/off again guy of 4 years. While they haven't been together in a relationship sense for a while but they were still "trying" to be friends. A couple of days ago she told me that she's basically done with that and she told the guy to lose her number and forget he never met her. I've know her well enough to know that this situation is finally over for her but that still doesn't give me a clear idea of how to read this new attention she's giving me.

You remind me of a grunt, lost in the jungle, and separated from his platoon and running low on ammo.

You need to read/research these terms urgently -start your search on this board..." rebound guy"..." branch swinging " ..."orbiter" ..."transitional relationship ".....there are a few more that apply to you ,but these will get you started.

IF you read studiously, ask the hard questions and take the tough love that the guys will give you here, you may just save yourself from the heartbreak that is surely coming your way with this missy.

How do I know that?
BEcause most of us here have been in your situation and did not see her 'game' until the heartbreak began.

 

[azanon]

The irony here is that you're the one actually wanting to "ruin just the friendship". It will never be ruined from her perspective. Let me explain.

Lets say you go for the kiss that would start a chain of events. If she likes it, she kisses back and a relationship forms. If she doesn't, she says "sorry, I don't really like you that way", and then studies your eyes to see if you're going to be ok with it.

SHE will definitely be ok with just the friendship, if that's all she wants, regardless of if you try a sexual advance. The real question will be, will you be ok with just her friendship if you get rejected or will you be hurt too much.

Worry about you.... not her.

 

[feelgood]

Sadora,...

If I may...

Honestly, 10 years (a decade for that) is a mighty looong time for you to be still ruminating on whether the friendship will be lost here or not.

One would assume by now you would have tasted the honey from the pot and she was coming for seconds or more than that...

But I appreciate that not all guys are the same, and that perhaps it's only me who will screw his best friend's gal and not even think twice about the consequences.

This is my advice, and you're free to use it or discard it.

From the sound of things, you're more interested in the friendship lasting than developing into something physical right?...and if something physical develops, I have a feeling you would like to maintain the relationship without souring it up...to an extent anyway.

This is what I would do if I were you and I was interested in physical contact...
Seeing she's your friend, and no subject is taboo, how about asking her outright for a "ding-dong?"

What wrong with outright asking and appealing to her sexual nature?

Is there such a thing as Platonic friendship between a male and a female without any sexual tension?

I tend to lean towards saying no...either way, someone is bound to get screwed, or the woman dumps you into the "let's be friends" bin, in which case you're toast.

Here's a scenario I was once faced with (this was the sister of my best friend in Oz).

Once my best friend introduced me to his sister, I was all over her within the space of a month, during which time I had laid the seed to be her fcuk buddy.
She had a lousy boyfriend whom she constantly complained about...and I was there at the right time and place...told her how great her body looked and what I would like to do to it (not given the opportunity, but telling her to give me the opportunity).
Touching is essential in such situations...( i was saying this whilst caressing her arms and also her legs...we were in a Chinese Restaurant...I was also teaching her how to use chopstix...which made it more erotic)...

You get the picture...

In case your jaw has just dropped, women think about sex as much as men do, if not more!!
...if in doubt...visit department stores like Victoria's Secret and see the boredom in the shop assistants' eyes...low hanging fruit that.

But I digress.

If this woman's a friend and you're really that concerned about her welfare... then I'd suggest about asking her about her sexual experiences and desires... what she desires in a man...is she open to a casual "animalistic" relationship where it's just lust and nothing else (friendship aside).
Tell her you'll always be by her side (you have needs too).

Ask her if she'd like to try it out (most women will probably say they want to think about it)...this is the moment to capitalize on the prey, be charming, not in a brotherly way (though I suspect that, after a decade, you're probably more there than anyway else).

Elsewhere in this forum I replied to a post about fat chicks, and how these are the best for favors...they don't get it much and, when you're there purely for the fun of relieving some tension, fat chicks will move mountains just to do you a favor (any favor) if you do one to them too...
Ever noticed that most fat chicks have rich parents?....

I digress.

Bottom line, if you do not ask, and act on your fantasies, then please write a book, instead of contemplating it.

Take charge, show her a stronger and mature side of you...don't come out looking and sounding too serious...rather joke about it and make fun, put her at ease...

If still in doubt...do this and please let us know the results...

Approach her like you do each time, hug her...rub your nose against hers like they do in some cultural greetings, tell her she smells nice,...then KISS her.

Don't ask why, just kiss her, on her neck, nibble the earlobs, blow some air into her ears, each time moving your mouth closer to hers....you're actually building anticipation here...let her make up her mind to meet you halfway (remember Kevin James in Hitch with Will??)

If she asks what you're doing, just ask her "what do you think?"...and don't stop...
If she asks you to stop, hush her, if she persists, draw back and talk about everything I've mentioned above...

Don't lose your friendship...just your underwear and her thongs...

To your dating success...