My Background and why I am not a great men. (yet)

jhonny9546

Master Don Juan
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Since many people ask me who I am and why I write, the time has come to share my story.

I will try to keep it as short as possible!

As a child, I was slimmer and shorter than average and was often treated as the "adorable child." Growing up, I had a very attached mother and an aggressive father. My mother's love was excessive until I turned 20, while my father's behavior was never a good example. He would pursue any woman he met, and he occasionally had sex with prostitutes. My mother knew a little about this, but she didn’t realize he was having sex with other women.

Given this background, I have been in two long-term relationships, and I am currently single. I have a casual relationship (friends with benefits) with a woman.

Until two years ago, I believed in romantic fairy tales, inspired by the life of my grandfather, who had a long and respected marriage and raised an incredible family during a time when men were men and women were women.

I discovered the various colors of pills, blue, red, black, and I began to reflect on my life, trying to figure out what was true. A year ago, I started a significant change: I began lifting weights, improving my hygiene, and increasing my social interactions. This led to me receiving more female attention and indicators of interest (IOIs), despite my height of 165 cm. People were kinder, more willing to help, and less needy in my presence. On the other hand, I felt that I had developed a boring character, too introspective, with easily stirred emotions. I make girls feel good in my presence; they often tell me that they feel relaxed and at ease. However, I realized that I needed to work on my masculine energy. I was missing something because these girls always chased after and were attracted to the kind of man who could take them on an emotional roller coaster. I still don’t know how to do this, and that is my shortcoming.


I feel like I'm still far behind, but I believe I can improve! It’s my responsibility to become a masculine man rather than remain a nice guy forever. I have doubts about how to navigate social dynamics, such as people wearing masks and engaging in backbiting through manipulation. However, I understand that it’s about my perspective;
"Am I been wrong for not behaving in a similar way as other "fake people", how i call em, are behaving?"
This is what I usually ask myself

First and foremost, I would like to understand if someone like me can restructure his character, beliefs, and habits, and still find the same sense of satisfaction that he currently experiences, even if he is doing something that seems "wrong" to him or just "not very honest" or "not humble."


For this, I strive to be an irreplaceable men
 
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