MrCode's Boot Camp Journal

[MrCode]

Well, here I am, joining the ranks of the men who have braved the DJ Boot Camp before me. I just hope my journey can be as inspiring as their's.

For those interested, here is a little background on me: I live in Florida and have my whole life, but I've only been in South Florida for about 4 years. Luckily for me South Florida is filled with honies.

My story when it comes to women is probably like many of yours: full of missed opportunities and regrets. Really, it could have been worse, because I've haven't dated any real b*tches nor had my heart broken. But I certainly haven't had the kind of fun I know I could have.

About 10 months ago I was set up on a blind date and applied some of the DJ principles I had learned at that point to HUGE success. To make a long story short I had a girl who had never met me wanting sex after our first date. So I know I have the power of a DJ within me, I just need to cultivate it more and let it come to the surface.

My biggest weakness is definitely the cold approach, and I know that without getting that skill down, I can never become the man I want to be, and have the kind of success with women that I know I can have.

So I am going to fight my way through the DJ Boot Camp, and see what kind of man I am at the end.

 

[MrCode]

Week 1, Day 1 - A Day of Chokes

I wonder if everyone has a lot of chokes on this day of the Boot Camp? You would think that making eye contact and saying hi wouldn't be hard, but after years of NOT doing that, it can be pretty hard.

I started off the day by making a deposit at the bank, and despite the delay while waiting in line, I could not get myself to say hi to the men in line with me. I think I was sort of afraid of having to get into a conversation. Though I'm usually a good conversationalist, I still fear that awkwardness of not knowing what to say to a stranger, or starting a conversation and then just leaving it cold. So I didn't do crap. Let me tell you, that feeling is way worse than actually doing something, as I'm sure most of you are aware.

To make matters worse, upon leaving the bank I saw an HB8 doing her paperwork at one of those little kiosks, and even though we made eye contact I didn't do sh*t. It would NOT have been that hard to at least say hi, and that would have been a nice start to the boot camp, but nope, I chickened out and just kept walking. Again that feeling of disappointing yourself is way worse than any kind of rejection. Plus, what is going to happen if you just say hi?

Hmmm, not to get too analytical here, but maybe I fear success? Maybe I thought that saying hi to the HB8 would mean I had to keep going and ask for a number or email or whatever? I think it is important in the beginning of the boot camp to keep the pressure off yourself. Just focus on the task at hand for the given week, and only if you really feel it to go further. I suspect as the weeks go on this will be much less of an issue for me.

But the day didn't start all bad, because as I was coming in to work I saw an older woman walking out of my office building and made the eye contact, said the hi, and got a hi in return. I must say, it felt pretty damn good, and I think I sort of made her day as well.

My workday didn't offer much chance to get more hi's, but on my way out of the building after work I said hi to one of the cleaning people who I had seen before but had never acknowledged. I think he was somewhat surprised as I think most people just ignore the cleaning people. It is surprising how pleased they can be when you actually acknowledge their existence. They are people too, even if they aren't in the most glamorous of fields.

After leaving work I decided to go to Border's and try to get a few hi's in. But unfortunately it was late and there weren't many people in the store. I've also realized that in general bookstores are hard places to get eye contact because most people are looking at the shelves or reading a book or a magazine. I want all my 50 hi's to involve solid eye contact, so I won't be doing any of the "surprise hi's" to people's backs, etc.

Still I probably could have made more effort and gotten a few hi's in, but I didn't. I left feeling a little down, but I know I'm not going to become a DJ overnight, so onward and upward I go!

Hi Count for the Day: 2
Total Hi Count: 2

 

[MrCode]

Week 1, Day 2 - A Day of No Opportunities

I spent all day at work and didn't even leave for lunch since the company caters on Fridays. During the day I didn't walk by anyone new that I could say hi to. After work I went and played basketball and didn't make an effort to say hi to anyone, even though there was quite a crowd of parents for kids flag football at the park where we play.

It just goes to show that sitting around not making an effort and doing your typical daily activities is NOT the way to get good with the ladies. You would think after years of sitting on my butt at home I would have learned this, but old habits are hard to break.

I know the point of the boot camp is to help you break out of your comfort zone so that in the long run you can expand it, but it sure can be hard to do that.

Oh well, tommorow is the weekend so I think I can make some big progress on my EC and hi count.

Hi Count for the Day: 0
Total Hi Count: 2

 

[MrCode]

Week 1, Day 3 - A Day of Transformation

The day isn't over yet, but I already feel transformed. I went to Walmart to return some stuff, shop, and of course to continue the DJ Boot Camp. I was there for about two hours and I got over 30 hi's.

But it wasn't just about making the eye contact and saying hi...after a while I started to feel different. I was no longer walking around, looking down, not paying attention to all the people around me. I was walking with my head high, with a smile on my face, and always looking for new people to say hi to. It was like I was seeing the world in clarity for the first time.

Also once the momentum gets going, it gets easier and easier. At first I was tentative, and started to get frustrated by all the people who would not make eye contact. But once I got past the first 5, the other 25 plus were pretty easy.

I also had a few short conversations, which were very easy to start up in the context (like getting fruit or vegetables, or waiting in line.) The lesson to learn here in relation to meeting women is that it will always be easier given a context, versus a completely cold approach.

Unfortunately none of these hi's were HBs. There weren't many HBs around to begin with, and any I got near would not make eye contact. I won't venture a guess as to why they were this way, but to get more out of this boot camp I want to try to make my remaining hi's be all HBs that I consider doable. I'll still try to say hi to everyone I can, but I'll only count the HBs.

Hi Count for the Day: 30
Total Hi Count: 32
Total HB Hi Count: 0

 

[MrCode]

Week 1, Day 4 - A Day of Work

I spent most of the day helping a buddy at his house and also working at my house. All you guys in college who are still in apartments may not relate to this, but once you buy a house you will.

My only outing in public was Home Depot, but I was only able to get two solid hi's, neither of which was an HB (or a woman for that matter.) There were a few decent chics around, but no one particularly hot.

One thing I noticed is that I'm no longer afraid to make eye contact and try to say hi, but as others have learned few people will make eye contact. Women in particular don't seem to make eye contact with me very often (if they did I would have several more hi's for today.) Obviously I need to try to do something about that since this boot camp is about increasing my success with women.

So again my focus will be to get 20 or so solid hi's with HBs for the rest of this week, and maybe throw in a few other hi's to random people as well. My next location will be an upscale mall in Boca Raton, which is usually loaded with hotties. Most are probably jail bait, but I'm just looking for hi's, not sex

I think my final tally will exceed the required 50, which I think is great.

Hi Count for the Day: 2
Total Hi Count: 34
Total HB Hi Count: 0

 

[MoveYourAss...]

He MrBoot,

nice job! and a very nive writing, too.

Like your attitude.

I do need to go to sleep now (after my BC-post), but I will have an eye on your thread.

MoveYourA$$...and your brain will follow

 

[MoveYourAss...]

SORRY, I'm really tired...

MrCode of course. No offence intended

 

[MrCode]

Week 1, Day 5 - A Day of Last Minute Effort

Hey MoveYourAss, I appreciate your feedback, and no offence was taken of course.

Today I had another long work day and did not get out of the office until about 9:30 PM. My drive home consumed another 30 minutes, but I was determined to make a last ditch effort and get at least 10 hi's in today. Since the mall I was planning to go to was long closed I went to my local Barnes and Noble bookstore (which is open until 11PM) and proceeded to make my rounds.

I must say it feels a little weird to randomly walk around and act like I'm looking at books and whatever else while waiting for people to say hi to. It was sort of the same feeling you get when you are being an AFC and hovering around a chic you find cute but are afraid to approach.

Still I walked around and was able to get in 15 hi's in under an hour. I did stop a few times to actually look at magazines, and one particularly interesting thing happened. I saw an HB7 while walking around but she would not make eye contact so I did not say hi (I guess I'm just going to have to start saying hi without eye contact to HBs.) A few minutes later I go to the magazine rack and there she is. I decided to chill a bit and check out some magazines and she does the same. She took a chair about 15 feet to my left while I stood. After about 10 minutes or so, I decide to move on and walked right by her. Literally 30 seconds after I move away she walks right by me and leaves the store.

Maybe I'm crazy but was she putting herself where I could approach her? And then she left in disgust when my wussy ass would not approach? Or was it all a coincidence?

I suppose we may never know but I'm getting eager to move on in the boot camp so I can start talking to girls. Before you guys say anything, I know I could certainly approach girls in Week 1 if I wanted to, but I still think I need to get my confidence and skills up before doing that.

I also said "hey ladies, how is it going?" to a group of 3 girls, but they weren't too friendly and also were not attractive enough for me to consider them HBs. I'm counting that as 3 hi's as it took more balls than normal to greet a group. Still I think I was a little stilted and creepy, hence their less than warm response.

But despite almost reaching the goal of 50 hi's for this week, I still want to get at least 20 HB hi's by cruising some malls. That is the plan for tomorrow.

Hi Count for the Day: 15
Total Hi Count: 49
Total HB Hi Count: 0

 

[MrCode]

Week 1, Day 6 - A Day of Dominating

After another fairly long day at work I finally made it to the mall I was wanting to go to. I rolled in at about 8PM and stayed until they closed at 9PM.

The mall was pretty dead but there were still a few more HBs than in other places I have gone to. But again few would make eye contact. I did get a few good looks though, but I did not say hi as the situation just didn't seem right. One girl though, about an HB8, gave me some really solid eye contact that was a pretty obvious sign of interest. She was sitting at one of those food kiosks and it would have been easy to approach, but I decided not to (or I wussed out, depending on your perspective .) Still that gave me a little boost.

While I was walking around though, I made eye contact with pretty much everyone, and I was totally dominating them. I mean most people would just barely flick their eyes to mine, while some would not even look at all, like I wasn't there. I must say that was pretty annoying, but I guess that is just our culture: everyone is in their own little world and is afraid to acknowledge other people. But I can't knock these people since I use to be just like them.

Even big, strong looking guys who I thought could hold the eye contact would not. I would be walking toward them hoping they'll keep the eye contact so I can get in a hi or a nod or something, but nope, they won't hold it. Still it is a cool feeling knowing I'm dominating these big guys, just by making and keeping eye contact.

I also now enjoy going in to stores and getting acknowledgement from the employees, while before I would dread it. It is pretty amazing how much you can change in a week.

I also saw two different guys who looked decent, like they had their act together, but who were walking with their heads down looking at the floor. I wanted to yell at them "get your head up, you've got to be a man!", but I didn't say a word. Oh well, maybe once I get myself totally together I can see about helping other guys.

Unfortunately because everyone was being wussy I did not get many hi's, but just keeping all the eye contact still felt good.

Tomorrow I'm going to make a last ditch effort to get some HB hi's for this week. My goal is 10.

Hi Count for the Day: 5
Total Hi Count: 54
Total HB Hi Count: 0

 

[MoveYourAss...]

told ya

Hi MrCode,

what's goin' on? Told you I'd have an eye

Let's hear your experiences. You were doin' well.

I'm at the end of week 2 now, and it's hard but rewarding. Do the HB's next week, it may be too much. I think if you relax and not HOPE they will keep EC its just so much better.

MoveYourA$$... and your brain will follow

 

[MrCode]

Week 1, Day 7 - A Day of Being Friendly

Thanks for keeping an eye on my thread, MoveYourAss. I figured I was boring everyone to death

Unfortunately today I did not get my 10 HB hi count due to an extreme lack of HBs, but I did get a few. In fact, at lunch I messed around with an HB7 in line in front of me at Quizno's. She wanted her subs "double-toasted" by being run through the toasting machine twice, and I was giving her a hard time about screwing up the line and slowing everything down. It wasn't much of a conversation, but I'm going to at least count it as a hi. When we were both getting our drinks I told her "enjoy your lunch toasty girl", and as she left she gave me decent eye contact and a smile (she was getting her food to go while I was eating at the restaurant.)

Later on toward the end of lunch an older HB6.5 came in and I was trying to give her some eye contact. On the way out I got out a hi, but I'm not sure how receptive she was since I was walking out and did not turn around to see (it is better that way, since I do not need her approval and did not want to seem like I did.)

So I got 2 HB hi's at lunch, which wasn't too bad. Also as I and my coworkers were coming in to our office building, I got a smile and a hi back from an older gentleman.

After work I went to another mall near my house (on my commute to work there are two malls, this one near my house, and another near my work, where I went on Week 1, Day 6.) Again I arrived at 8PM, and I have now decided that is a bad time to go to a mall to meet people (especially HBs.) I saw no more than five HBs, and most were out of "hi range." Toward the end of the night, I did get one hi to an older HB8, but it was a bit awkward because I had to turn around to say it. Still it was better than nothing.

Of course I did get 8 other hi's to various other people, so I have exceeded the required 50 hi's by quite a bit. I guess I should be happy about that, but I'm still a little disappointed how few HB hi's I got, and it still bothers me a bit how hard those 65 hi's were. Society has become so unfriendly.

So starting today is Boot Camp Week 2, and I must say I'm a little nervous. I feel that most of the places I normally go to are not really conducive to conversation, and I'm worried people will think I'm strange if I start random conversations. I guess I'll just have to buck up and forget about that crap, otherwise I won't make any progress in this boot camp.

Hi Count for the Day: 12
Total Hi Count: 65
Total HB Hi Count: 3

 

[MrCode]

Week 2, Day 1 - A Day of Fluff Talk

I didn't make a huge effort today, but I still got in one countable conversation and about five cases of fluff talk.

The first two fluff talks were some women as I and a coworker were leaving work. We are getting another hurricane this weekend it looks like (f*ck these God forsaken hurricanes) and so it was easy to kid around with the women a bit about that topic. It was a really quick "talk as you walk" type thing but it was still two people I would never have talked to before the boot camp. But my coworker helped the situation since my rather loud conversation with him flowed nicely into chatting a bit with these women. Neither were HBs, so it was no big deal.

After work I went to Home Depot to get some roof cement to repair some minor damage from the last freaking hurricane, and I figured this new hurricane would be an easy topic to start a conversation with. So after asking one of the male employees for some help I started in about these damn hurricanes. The convo lasted over 2 minutes, but it was still pretty much a superficial conversation. I think the guy just wanted to do his job and another customer needed help so I gracefully ended the convo and left. Still I'm counting that for my boot camp total

When I was getting my purchase ringed up I chatted a bit with the cashier, and then when she needed to get change I also talked a bit with another HD employee who was sweeping, as well as the guy in the next lane at one of those self checkout counters. The sweeping girl was rather interesting: she was probably about a 5 or 6 looks wise, but she had a C&F attitude. As I was standing and paying for my purchase she walks right up to me and is like "do you want me to sweep you out of here too?" So I look down at where she needs to sweep at my feet and slowly shuffle away in a teasing manner as she proceeded to sweep. Then as I was waiting for my cashier to get change from another register, the guy in the self checkout lane is complaining about the machine in a funny way and she starts with the C&F on him ("well did I force you to use that register?") It was pretty amusing. I also made a comment to the self checkout guy about how those things always give me trouble too.

So, there was nothing really extraordinary here, but I can already see how this boot camp has made me into a more friendly person. Even though most of my interactions were very short, superficial sort of things, I was still talking to strangers a lot more than I would have a week ago. I also kept up with the eye contact and hi routine through-out the day, especially once I was at Home Depot.

Before I sign off for today though, I wanted to comment a bit more about the C&F girl. I can't say it made her more attractive to me, but it did make her seem a whole lot more interesting. It also showed to me that she was probably attracted to myself and the self checkout guy, since C&F is a fun, teasing sort of thing to do. But maybe she is that way to everyone. Also I was caught off guard a bit by it, so the best I could think off was to give her a hard time by slowly shuffling away when she was teasing me about being in her way. If I had interacted with her more, I probably could have had a bit of a C&F sparring match, but since I wasn't all that attracted it would have been fairly pointless (beyond the practice factor.) But I definitely look forward to the day when I meet a girl I find attractive who is also smart with a bit of the C&F going. I think those are the "one in a million" type girls that we are all looking for.

Convo count for the day: 1
Total convo count: 1
HB convo count: 0

 

[Ever onward]

Your doing just fine Mr. Code, don't worry about boring people with your posts. It's interesting to compare how others are doing at bootcamp. You're a week ahead of me in the bootcamp, I hope I can stick with mine this time. You seem very dedicated with yours.

 

[MrCode]

Thanks for the encouragement Ever onward. Once I put my mind to something I'm pretty good about doing it and keeping up with it.

In fact I'd love to say I was like the Postal Service and would keep up through rain or sleet or snow, etc., but as I talked about in my last post another hurricane is gunning for very near where I live in Florida, and I think the boot camp will have to be put on hold. Well I will still be doing the boot camp, I just won't be able to do any exercises during the hurricane.

I'll post updates once I have internet access again, since I'll probably lose power during the storm (last time I lost it for eight days, woohoo.)

 

[MrCode]

Week 2, Days 2-4 - Days of Hurricane Jeanne

Just when I was getting going in the boot camp, another bad hurricane took aim at my state of Florida.

Friday, September 24, 2004 included working hard at work finishing things up before the weekend, and then finished off with more working hard at home to get ready for the hurricane. No conversations beyond the usual with my coworkers and neighbors.

Saturday, September 25, 2004 was spent doing further hurricane preparation and then riding out the damn storm. The only person I spoke with in person was my roommate.

Sunday, September 26, 2004 was a day of hurricane clean-up. My house came out OK since the last hurricane took out most of the non-hurricane proof things on my lot. I also still have power, which is absolutely fantastic after what happened in the last storm (8 days, no power.) Still there was some damage from the last hurricane that needed fixing, so I did what I could between rain storms being thrown off the back side of the storm. Again no conversations with strangers.

Depending on what I can do for the rest of the week, I may just restart Week 2 of the boot camp next week, since a hurricane is a pretty good excuse for not getting conversations in.

Convo count for these days: 0
Total convo count: 1
HB convo count: 0

 

[MrCode]

Week 2, Days 5-7 - Days of Silence

OK, I'm being a bit dramatic with my "Days of Silence" tagline here, but basically I had no cold approach conversations in these days. I admit I'm slacking but I officially decided to do Week 2 again, so I let myself take a break for a bit.

I did talk to one of my neighbors for the first time though, but he approached me and we had waved at each other before, so it was not any kind of cold approach.

Also today (Wednesday, September 29, 2004), I did a little C&F with the waitress at lunch and I must say it was amazing to really see it in action. She was only an HB6, but it was still good practice. Here is how it went down: I and my lunchmates ordered as usual, and I didn't mess with her at all at that point. But it took a while for us to get our food and she totally forgot who was getting what dish. So I just up and told her "You have a bad memory" (my tone made it sound a little less lame than it sounds here .) She responds "Yeah I've been off today." That was pretty much it. But later on I ask for a box to take some leftover food in and she is all like "What do I get for it?", giving me the C&F right back. Of course I didn't have a good comeback for that and was pretty much caught off guard. Still later on as we were leaving she tells us to come back again and one of my lunchmates says "Yeah maybe we will, we aren't that scared of you" (or something to that affect), and I'm "well we are scared a little." She turns around and gives me that "look", and I just give her a wink. I'm sure I could have number closed if I kept at it, but with the group of coworkers I was with I would rather not do that (I know, excuses, excuses.)

Also I think the above went the way it did not just because of a little C&F, but because my mindset has changed so much that I have begun to exude confidence and sexiness in a way I never did before. I'm definitely feeling pretty good, despite not having massive success in this week of the boot camp. But next week will be a different story.

Convo count for these days: 0
Total convo count: 1
HB convo count: 0

 

[Aresx]

good job mrcode

we should definitely wing sometime, and try to help out each other's game

e-mail me @ alphawolfx@gmail.com
one of these days we'll hang

 

[MoveYourAss...]

take care with those "breaks". It's dangerous, since it could lead to a false kind of satisfaction with your unquestionable large progress. At least that happened to me. To "restart" takes more energy than goin through. Our goals are certainly still larger than what we reached by now.


keep goin' on and on, use the momentum. You're doin well !

MoveYourA$$... and your brain will follow

 

[MrCode]

Week 2.5, Day 1 - A Day of Excuses

Aresx and MoveYourAss, thanks for the feedback. It is good to know somebody is reading

Unfortunately today I disappointed myself and I'm sure some of you guys reading this by not making the kind of effort I should have. Like MoveYourAss says, if you let yourself lose motivation and fall into old habits, a lot of benefit you got from earlier boot camp exercises can be lost.

Until you really begin to change yourself and build new habits, you must perservere, and not let yourself make excuses.

Today I worked late again, and by the time I was leaving I was getting quite hungry, so I decided to go straight home to eat instead of eating out. I was considering going back out to at least get one conversation in, but I also wanted to watch the Presidental Debate. Oh well, excuses, excuses.

I think my main problem is I am afraid. I'm afraid of starting conversations, not just with women, but with anyone. At least with women I have an excuse to talk to them (getting the number, or a date, etc.) But with other people I still feel like I would be intruding on them by talking. For example, I feel it will be easier to get a conversation with a worker at some store, but I think that getting even 2 minutes out of it would be hard since they will probably just want to leave and keep doing their job. Other people just seem totally unapproachable.

Is this just an unrealistic perception? For those guys who do not need to do the boot camp and who are more naturally gregarious, this may seem odd or hard to understand. But for those of us who spent most of our lives shy and introverted, it can be a difficult transition to make.

Does anyone have recommendations for places to talk to people? Also what kinds of things do you talk about? I am able to make little comments to strangers without much trouble, but turning those into full-fledged 2 minute plus conversations is difficult.

Also, maybe it is just my perception, but I swear people in my area (South Florida) are just not very friendly, or they are more closed at first. I guess I just need to start approaching people to fine out for sure .

Alright guys, I promise this boot camp will get much more interesting before I'm done.

 

[MoveYourAss...]

Your Camp is very interesting indeed.

I myself am facing exactly the same problem with continuing from starters, and I also came to the conclusion that it is because of fear, fear of becoming who we can really be. And I'm sure there are lots of people out there facing the same.

So if its fear, I think the only way is go through hell , as in someones signature´: when you go through hell, keep going.

Wasn't it hard for you to do the HI-thing in the beginning? Doesn't it come much more suave now? It really works, but we HAVE to go through this shyt.

per ardura ad astras - through hardness to the stars.

The BC is so fantastic since it is really baby steps, if you think about it. First you learn to ignore (SO WHAT, but eventually learn from) rejections from Hi, then from talking to strangers, then form talking to nice ones (shiver ) and then only number close.
Quicker progress could lead to results (your not forbidden to do this if the occasion occurs), but much less consistently.

Focus on your goal, to leave this social phobia behind and become the sociable alpha that is waiting to break out, to have FUN, to LIVE your life. And to have fun with the nice ladies, of course. (For me the latter is rather a highly motivating reward to measure my progress in the main issue)

Keep up, imagine us in a few weeks by now

MoveYourA$$...and your brain will follow