Moved to USA - Starting from scratch - Locations in NYC

[bnbprodu]

Hello to everyone.

Let me start by saying that English is not my native language so keep it in mind while reading.

I am aware of the manosphere and its themes for 4 years already. I discovered it after a harsh breakup and I can tell that the staple ideas work because they boil down to the core of human nature. I was able to apply these ideas and saw them work.

By the way, I have moved from Europe a while ago and am now in NYC. I thought I'd be able to fit in and meet a lot of beautiful women. It seems it's not the case. I've been able to pull a couple of dates off OKC but didn't like those crazy encounters (though the women vere attractive) and got off of it pretty soon.

I am now trying to meet women in social settings but I am having a hard time meeting women. I basically happen to be clueless about the spots to hit to meet women - especially Latina and African-American women. I have my life together, I have a steady job (not 6 figures though), I train 3-to-5x a week (though my body isn't Adonis like...yet), I dance, I have a sense of fashion and groom. I think my 'outer' game is OK since I catch women staring at me, smiling if I open them (with cold approach) and even if I just exchange small talk with them.

Matter of fact, I used to use my 'verbal' game a lot (bantering, witty remarks, funny negs, etc) but most of it now lost in translation and doesn't seem to work that much. I am trying to calibrate my game to the American 'standards' but I am still a bit lost in regards of locations besides malls and shops in general.

I am running a 'total' solo game because I haven't been able to make friends to hang out with bust mostly acquaintances with I have been to bars every once in a while.

I am asking for suggestions and advice to maximize my chances here in NYC and turn things in my favor.


Thanks in advance.

 

[Julian]

Dude its like any other city. Except i heard nyc chicks are extremely liberal and not attractive as Los Angeles or Texas girls. But i wouldnt overthink it..if you have your own spot it should be easy..just put on a crispy nice suit, head to a local lounge somewhere thats hip and cool, and post up at the bar with a glass of whiskey and do what i call "go fishin". Lol..see who bites.
Solo game in a place like nyc is what small town players dream of. Especially as a euro dude its what makes you stand out in a way so all you have to do is put yourself out there

 

[Atom Smasher]

Yes, NYC women being attractive is a myth. I'll take those Midwestern girls over NYC girls anytime.

 

[guru1000]

Ya, NYC has the most unattractive women in the world. You guys should just stay out West

 

[bnbprodu]

Dude its like any other city. Except i heard nyc chicks are extremely liberal and not attractive as Los Angeles or Texas girls. But i wouldnt overthink it..if you have your own spot it should be easy..just put on a crispy nice suit, head to a local lounge somewhere thats hip and cool, and post up at the bar with a glass of whiskey and do what i call "go fishin". Lol..see who bites.
Solo game in a place like nyc is what small town players dream of. Especially as a euro dude its what makes you stand out in a way so all you have to do is put yourself out there

Thanks for your suggestions, Julian.

Well, I guess game doesn't differ that much from Europe except for the fact that some NYC women seem to play hard to get in spite of their looks.

 

[bnbprodu]

@Atom Smasher and @guru1000

I will definitely pay a visit to both the Midwest and the West. NYC seems to make people feel entitled to top-tier 'standards'.

By the way, there are always diamonds in the rough. I can't talk about LA or Texas but there are plenty worth being hit on.

 

[bnbprodu]

NYC Day Game: Anywhere. Street, subway, stores, cafes, parks, etc. The city is so packed with people, it's a smorgasbord and you likely won't run into the same woman twice.

This is pretty sound! I don't pass most of my time in the City but mostly in Brooklyn and Queens. I agree with what you say, though it depends on the hood you're in.

Night Game: Up to you. I don't go clubbing so I can't advise on that. But even bars and restaurants are great spots. I suppose it depends on what you're looking for. My advice is, pick a weekday night. Weekends can be nuts, and people have their b.s. shields on full force. You'll still find good crowds on weekdays, just more laid back.

I don't like nor go clubbing either - I have passed that stage of my life and I now enjoy a more relaxed and laid-back atmosphere where I can have a decent conversation with people.

Areas: Stay out of Times Square obviously...but even around there you can find locals and decent places. West Village and Lower East Side are good. Try outer-borough hoods like Astoria, Queens, and Cobble Hill, Brooklyn. (Don't bother with Williamsburg - it's all white freaks of nature these days.) For African-Americans, Fort Greene, Brooklyn is (or used to be) a good middle class black enclave. Latinas - there are lots of Colombians and Brazilians in Jackson Heights and Astoria, Queens. Sunset Park in Brooklyn has a lot of latinas (Mexican I believe).

Thanks for the details!

Bars and lounges are my to go and where I feel most comfortable to engage people with small talk or approach women. Brooklyn and Queens above all the other boroughs. I don't like Manhattan that much since it's full of tourists and I don't want to meet tourists. I want to meet locals or Latinamericans (both locals or first-generation) for different reasons.

I have been to Astoria and Jackson Heights a couple of times but couldn't figure out which bars work best. Some of the were full of drunken dudes that basically repelled most women. I felt a bit out of place but I managed to enjoy the night notwithstanding.

Feel free to PM if you have any particular suggestions as to which bars would be the best bet.

A word to the wise: If you want black or Latin women, go for the off the boat or first-generation daughters of immigrants. Otherwise you will be in for a world of attitude and ghetto b.s. However, by and large, people mix fairly well in NYC and you will find minorities everywhere. Go by their appearance - not fat, dress well, natural smile, long undamaged hair = fairly good chance she's worth talking to. I think the best women of any kind are the ones who understand what hard work is, but aren't career-driven zombies, if that makes sense. If she can still smile in spite of a tough day of work, that's a great indicator. That's just my opinion!

African-American and Latin women are the top choice in terms of women. I just can't help but enjoy their appearance (of course the good-looking ones). I want to avoid attitude and ghetto b.s and your advice is very precious: their appearance is an indicator of their 'approachability' level.
Questions is where I find most of these 'non fat, well-dressed, natural smile, long undamaged hair'. It's just that I moved here and I am still testing the waters and I am still getting to know this great City.

Your post is golden, thanks man!

 

[skinnyguy]

@Atom Smasher and @guru1000

I will definitely pay a visit to both the Midwest and the West. NYC seems to make people feel entitled to top-tier 'standards'.

By the way, there are always diamonds in the rough. I can't talk about LA or Texas but there are plenty worth being hit on.

With NYC you'll only have access to top tier women if you're a big baller. Think of all the hedge fund managers going to parties in the Hamptons with 10's.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Welcome to America!

I've never been to NYC, but I think some of your frustration is simply due to being from another culture. People are most comfortable with other people who are similar to themselves. That's an old salesman trick, find something they like and pretend to like it too. Repoire is built on common ground. If you don't have it, that makes it difficult.

 

[bnbprodu]

With NYC you'll only have access to top tier women if you're a big baller. Think of all the hedge fund managers going to parties in the Hamptons with 10's.

I'm definitely not a Wall Street shark nor a 6-figures income man but I have to disagree with your statement.

NO doubt that a very high status and lifestyle will play a factor in meeting good-looking women. As to if they are quality women is disputable since - personally - looks and desirable traits don't always go together.

Once again, I don't believe things will differ that much from Europe. Truth be told, each scene in each city has its own set of rules. However, meeting and scoring 9.5 is not impossible for middle-class or upper middle-class men.

10s, IMHO, don't exists. Looks are extremely important but I dig for other qualities as well. In meeting women, I apply an holistic approach: the total is more than sum of each part/trait.

 

[bnbprodu]

Welcome to America!

I've never been to NYC, but I think some of your frustration is simply due to being from another culture. People are most comfortable with other people who are similar to themselves. That's an old salesman trick, find something they like and pretend to like it too. Repoire is built on common ground. If you don't have it, that makes it difficult.

Thanks!

Well, finding commonalities is the way to go in all social interactions.

I wouldn't say I am frustated, I'm looking for recommendations on the best locations besides malls and clubs. Each cultures is different, I couldn't agree more , however I believe that there are characteristics common to all human being. Let's say a common human core.Knowing that, one has to understand the distinct cultural layer that lies on the surface and navigate accordingly.

So, yes. The cultural gap is there but it's up to me to not use it as an excuse . And no, it won't stop me.

 

[sosousage]

what country you come from OP

ps unless you are muslim or something that women dont adore (not racist just facts) then you as a foreigner are generally seen very hot

 

[Bible_Belt]

you as a foreigner are generally seen very hot

I had the same thought, but like I said, never been to NYC. Supply and demand-wise, they have a lot of foreigners. I think the maximum impact of the sexy foreigner frame would be in smaller towns.

 

[bnbprodu]

what country you come from OP

ps unless you are muslim or something that women dont adore (not racist just facts) then you as a foreigner are generally seen very ho

I'm from Southern Europe but I don't look Arabic nor am I dark skinned. I'm indeed what the USA label as 'Caucasian'. Very few people have guessed I'm not American before I speak. Then, they hear the accent and keep guessing. It's a good conversation starter. Sometimes I pretend I don't remember some words. Then, I tell the women 'there are lot of things I'd like to tell in my native language' looking them with flirty eyes. 70 percent of the time they kind of melt, even if it then leads to nothing.

I also ask them out to bars or restaurant that make dishes from my homeland so that I'll the upper hand in term's of discussion. What I have noticed is that if you sound knowledgeable without being obnoxious, then women will react well.


I kind of agree with @Bible_Belt as to in NYC the foreigner effect works to some extent. From what I've noticed, women here couldn't care less as this city is full of foreign people. However, you need to play your cards well and just go with the flow. You can't expect to have a 100/100 approach success rate. You're going to fail miserably, just move on.

I opened this post primarily to know places that are favourable in terms of finding *quality* Latinas and African-American since these happen to be the ones I am most attracted to. I am having a bit of hard time meeting women because I'm new to this city. The ones I've met so far are not enough in terms of numbers. I know this place can offer a huge variety and there are plenty of women to know and meet . That's what I'm aiming for.

 

[noBSgames]

NYC Day Game: Anywhere. Street, subway, stores, cafes, parks, etc. The city is so packed with people, it's a smorgasbord and you likely won't run into the same woman twice.

Night Game: Up to you. I don't go clubbing so I can't advise on that. But even bars and restaurants are great spots. I suppose it depends on what you're looking for. My advice is, pick a weekday night. Weekends can be nuts, and people have their b.s. shields on full force. You'll still find good crowds on weekdays, just more laid back.

Areas: Stay out of Times Square obviously...but even around there you can find locals and decent places. West Village and Lower East Side are good. Try outer-borough hoods like Astoria, Queens, and Cobble Hill, Brooklyn. (Don't bother with Williamsburg - it's all white freaks of nature these days.) For African-Americans, Fort Greene, Brooklyn is (or used to be) a good middle class black enclave. Latinas - there are lots of Colombians and Brazilians in Jackson Heights and Astoria, Queens. Sunset Park in Brooklyn has a lot of latinas (Mexican I believe).

A word to the wise: If you want black or Latin women, go for the off the boat or first-generation daughters of immigrants. Otherwise you will be in for a world of attitude and ghetto b.s. However, by and large, people mix fairly well in NYC and you will find minorities everywhere. Go by their appearance - not fat, dress well, natural smile, long undamaged hair = fairly good chance she's worth talking to. I think the best women of any kind are the ones who understand what hard work is, but aren't career-driven zombies, if that makes sense. If she can still smile in spite of a tough day of work, that's a great indicator. That's just my opinion!

Ha I dated a first gen Dominican my GF of two years until she went back over to DR and ****ed me over and got married... however shes a cluster B mess.. to this day still more focused on what I'm doing in my life and not focused on her husband now. So looks is not always the case.. if anything she was always concerned about looks so I'd factor that in my decision now.

 

[bnbprodu]

Looks matter. Game or - better said - Savoir Faire matters as much. Money can override some major flaws. In the end, by the way, social circles matter even more.