Mostly Weak Men Are The Ones Who Have Girlfriends

[RockaRolla25]

Now, of course this is not to generalize every man who has a girlfriend. Some of them have a "girlfriend" but they still bang other girls on the side. This post does not apply to these guys. If you are one of these guys, disregard this post and move on. This post is for men who would not cheat on their girlfriends and who have at least some type of decency / respect.

I have been doing some thinking. If you are a man who is in the 20-30 age range, why on Earth would you want to have sex with JUST ONE WOMAN? I know a guy who is 25 years old and has been in a relationship for the past 3-4 years. Shouldn't someone in their 20's want to be free and go around hunting and gaming as many girls as he can? We are men! It's about the thrill of the hunt!

How is it fun to only have sex with one girl in the prime of your life?

I came up with the conclusion that it is weak men who are scared about going out and finding another girl. They found one girl and thought to themselves "OMG! I can't let her go! There's no one else!"

The idea of "Yeah I want to have sex with just one woman!" seems completely beta and almost kind of g.ay if you think about it. Why would you not want to hunt other women?

The reason why I can't get into a relationship is because I can't STAND the thought of "one woman" and I have at least some decency about me so I wouldn't want to have a girlfriend I didn't care about just so I could cheat on her.

This is why I stay single. Do you guys agree that men who are in relationships in the prime of their life are mostly weak men who are betas?

I even had guys in relationships tell me "1 is better than 0" but I'm sure you experienced DJ's on here can see the faultiness and lameness of that argument.

Basically my main point is this: If you have a girlfriend and are cheating on her, why not just stay single then? You're just a worthless human being at this point.

And if you do want a relationship with just one woman, what on Earth is wrong with you?!?!?

 

[dementia]

this is well funny... I see the point, but theres nothing wrong with wanting to find a girl. Where i live i can go down the road and get foolsmate every saturday night .. and i did for a while and the girls were ok, but it was kinda empty. Different strokes!

 

[Voice]

I agree that staying single is the way to go. I love being single. But there are a lot of really high value guys that get into relationships during these years of their lives. You can't really say that all guys in relationships are weak.

Yes, the chase is suppose to be fun. However I don't blame some of these guys. It can also get kinda tiring. It's a lot of work gaming multiple girls and it is tempting to just settle down with the one you like the most.

A lot of these guys just follow the status quo and really don't know that they even have the choice to stay single. There is a lot of social pressure to settle down.

 

[RockaRolla25]

this is well funny... I see the point, but theres nothing wrong with wanting to find a girl. Where i live i can go down the road and get foolsmate every saturday night .. and i did for a while and the girls were ok, but it was kinda empty. Different strokes!

Maybe there is but I would think not until one hits at least 35-40.

You don't wanna wake up and be 30 years old and be like "holy crap I spent my 20's with just one girl! WTF did I miss out on?!?!?!?!"

By 35-40, it might be time to settle down but even at that age you can still get it on with younger women if you have game.

Getting into a relationship just screams "I hate my penis!"

 

[RockaRolla25]

I agree that staying single is the way to go. I love being single. But there are a lot of really high value guys that get into relationships during these years of their lives. You can't really say that all guys in relationships are weak.

Yes, the chase is suppose to be fun. However I don't blame some of these guys. It can also get kinda tiring. It's a lot of work gaming multiple girls and it is tempting to just settle down with the one you like the most.

A lot of these guys just follow the status quo and really don't know that they even have the choice to stay single. There is a lot of social pressure to settle down.

Awwww so it might be hard work to game. But guess what? It's also fun too.

Anytime a guy in a relationship says to me "It's too hard to find and game chicks" I am thinking in my head "OK now I KNOW why you are attached at the hip to your girly girl."

 

[RockaRolla25]

We all met the people in life who say "I can't":

"I can't find a girl"

"I can't get a better job"

"I can't talk to people"

"I can't afford a car"

But there are also people who say:

"I can find a girl"

"I can always get a better job"

"Pretty soon, I'm going to get a better car"

"I can talk to people just fine"

Don't be in the "can't can't can't can't" group.

 

[RockaRolla25]

Usually when people ask me "Why are you single? We need to find you a girl,"

I throw back at them "Why are you in a relationship? Thanks for your thoughts but I'm perfectly capable and quite happy with hunting women. I don't need one girl. That's too boring."

Most of the time people are shocked when I say this, but to me it just seems like common sense.

 

[comic_relief]

You are misinformed!

Different strokes for different folks. How old are you?

Everyone goes through this stage in life. After a little while, you realize that it is a very empty state and want to find a great girl to spend more time with.

- comic_relief

EDIT: I took out the word wrong, for misinformed in the bolded part

 

[Cyclops]

Sounds like someone is an angry person. Being ina relationship does not make a man weak. What makes him weak is if he is in one when he does not want to be in one is. If he wants to be in a relationship, and in one with the right person, I dont see the problem. If you dont want to be in one, fine, but if someone does, I dont see how that makes him weaker than you. You obviously have some growing up to do.

 

[Strelok]

I Disagree with that,first it depens about what you are looking for,second the tought of your value or your fun tied to the amount of girls you have its a social constructed thing to force you to deal with crap from women,otherwise the average girl and her drama crap would be single since there are no men with such high sex drive.

The only objection is your natural drive to reproduce as much as you can but I think in that case it would be many ons not datin many girls.

For me it works fine to stay with a very goodlooking girl with clear roles and limits,I'm the man and she's the woman with all that comes from it.
This situation in my case allows me an equilibrated life that allows me to chase my desires.
As I said she is very goodlooking (at least a couple of league more than me) and gives me almost no drama while respecting me,nothing else I could ask for.

 

[ArcBound]

http://www.fathers.com/content/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=391

Maybe they are looking to have a child one day and don't want all the problems that can occur for the child from living in a single parent household.

 

[zekko]

This is why I stay single. Do you guys agree that men who are in relationships in the prime of their life are mostly weak men who are betas?

Seems awfully judgemental to me - sounds like it makes you feel better to call other people names when they don't agree with you or live their lives the way you want them to.

I agree with you to an extent - it's hard to believe that it would be good for a guy to spend their entire 20s with just one girl. Seems like they would be missing out on a lot.

On the other hand, if you get to age 30 or 35 with never having had a real girlfriend, that doesn't really sound healthy either. There are things you can learn from being in a relationship. Seems like you're growth would be kind of stunted if you get to 35 and have never been in a LTR. Seems like if all you know is pumping and dumping, when the time comes that you do find a girl you really like, you may not be ready for it.

Some guys never get out of the pump and dump stage, end up getting married, and can't stop cheating. I imagine you think that being faithful is just for chumps though, or "almost kind of g.ay", as you put it.

 

[RockaRolla25]

Wow, it seems I am getting crapped on for saying what I said.

But, what is wrong about wanting to live for yourself doing whatever you want?

I can't imagine myself ever being tied down by a wife. I have friends that lie to their girlfriends so they don't find out about some of the stuff they do.

I'd rather be a free man than be a man wearing the skirt in the relationship.

When you have a wife and kids, you can't just be like "I wanna go to California this weekend" or whatever your place of choice is. You have too many restrictions.

If men want to live with restrictions that is fine, but do not expect me to live like that. I am merely trying to point out the fact that I do not think men want this type of life but they think they HAVE TO if they want to be considered "normal."

We all heard the classic tale growing up of "go to school, get a job, find a girl, get married, have kids" and everything is fine and you're a winner!

Well, I'm sorry guys but I don't view that as necessarily being a winner.

How can someone say "it's too boring to want to get a new chick all the time or travel wherever you want?" How can anyone seriously say that?

For example, I know a couple who's "fun" for the night is watching American Idol on the couch.

I'm sorry but sitting on the couch watching tv rotting your brain is in no way, shape, or form "fun" for me. I'd rather be outside DOING SOMETHING. But, again this is me.

But I can't imagine someone saying "American Idol is way more fun than traveling!"

 

[comic_relief]

We aren't crapping on you, I do believe that you are misinformed (I should never have said "YOU ARE WRONG" and I apologize). YOU ARE MISINFORMED

I am annoyed (I won't pretend to know what the other members are thinking when posting, but...) with how authoritative you are. You come in here saying "THIS IS WHAT IT IS!" Your examples that you use are very limited to make it look like relationships are TERRIBLE (when they are very fluid, changing, and FUN if you are with the correct girl).

I have been in four LTRs that have lasted for months or years. I have been with five girls since I was 18 (some good/some bad). I learned what I liked while I was in them (fyi I hate tv dates while in a relationship. they bore me). Most of my dates are always action dates like walking around or hiking or swimming or bedroom dates

There is also NOTHING wrong with living the life you proposed (if you enjoy it). Different strokes for different folks.

If you enjoy "DOING STUFF" than go do stuff outside. Trust me, makes a much better LTR when you have stuff done together.

- comic_relief

P.S. Most guys are NOT in only one relationship for their whole lives. Like I wrote earlier, I have been in four LTRs with a few STRs.

 

[hansol]

Wow, it seems I am getting crapped on for saying what I said.

But, what is wrong about wanting to live for yourself doing whatever you want?

Nothing at all. But what is wrong about wanting to have someone in your life, while still doing whatever you want?

I can't imagine myself ever being tied down by a wife. I have friends that lie to their girlfriends so they don't find out about some of the stuff they do.

I'd rather be a free man than be a man wearing the skirt in the relationship.

When you have a wife and kids, you can't just be like "I wanna go to California this weekend" or whatever your place of choice is. You have too many restrictions.

Yes, those damn restrictions. Oh wait. Generally most everyone accepts the consequences and limitations before they make life-changing decisions. Yes, my having a dog means I can't stay out of the house for more than 6 hours at a time. No all-nighters at a friends place etc. But having the pup around is worth the sacrifice. You'll find that with a lot of things. Work, women, dogs, cars, etc.

If men want to live with restrictions that is fine, but do not expect me to live like that. I am merely trying to point out the fact that I do not think men want this type of life but they think they HAVE TO if they want to be considered "normal."

Disagree. That's an assumption you have, but it's easily proven wrong.

We all heard the classic tale growing up of "go to school, get a job, find a girl, get married, have kids" and everything is fine and you're a winner!

Well, I'm sorry guys but I don't view that as necessarily being a winner.

It's not necessarily a "winner", but life is quite a bit easier when you have a solid home life and monetary nest egg to build around. Wait, maybe that is why people consistently seem to strive for that path, rather than being a poor beach bum at 72 years of age. It's romatic living in a tent when you're 23; it isn't when you're 72 and eating canned beans because you don't have a microwave to heat up last nights leftovers.

How can someone say "it's too boring to want to get a new chick all the time or travel wherever you want?" How can anyone seriously say that?

For example, I know a couple who's "fun" for the night is watching American Idol on the couch.

I'm sorry but sitting on the couch watching tv rotting your brain is in no way, shape, or form "fun" for me. I'd rather be outside DOING SOMETHING. But, again this is me.

But I can't imagine someone saying "American Idol is way more fun than traveling!"

Then choose a chick who doesn't think TV is more entertaining than travel?

Certainly the bachelor lifestyle has its attractions, but so does a monogamous relationship. It's just a compromise, and one would hope one knows the consequences of each choice. Ultimately at the end of the day its just you who has to live with your choices; it isn't necessarily your place to decide what lifestyle choice is the correct one.

 

[cablecow15]

RockaRolla25 thinks that being in a relationship = being whipped ,witch is true for a lot of men , but not all .

 

[zekko]

But, what is wrong about wanting to live for yourself doing whatever you want?

There's nothing wrong with it. Some guys never settle down. If that's who you are and that's what you want, then go for it. My only objection is your wanting to portray anyone wanting a different sort of lifestyle as a weak beta.

If men want to live with restrictions that is fine, but do not expect me to live like that. I am merely trying to point out the fact that I do not think men want this type of life but they think they HAVE TO if they want to be considered "normal."

We all heard the classic tale growing up of "go to school, get a job, find a girl, get married, have kids" and everything is fine and you're a winner!

No one put a gun to my head telling me to live with my girlfriend. Backbreaker is engaged. Rollo and 5string are married. These aren't guys who believe in supplicating to females in order to please society.
I've done the plate spinning, the casual sex, the multiple women thing.
Honestly, I prefer having a girlfriend to all that. I enjoy having a partner to share life with. To me, it's more satisfying. It's very much like I prefer to have a few good friends rather than a bunch of acquaintances. Of course, you have to find the right girl.
I get the urge to hit some strange now and then, but to me the tradeoff is worth it. Like Hansol says, no matter what you choose is a compromise. You give up something to get something else.

As for getting a job and all that, if you don't work you're not going to eat, unless you plan on someone else supporting you your whole life - either your parents, welfare, disability, something. Yes, there are restrictions to being independent and pulling your own load, but I'd say it beats being a parasite.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I think ROCKAROLLA is 100% correct.

How common it is today to be married or getting married before we've realized any of our potential. The longer you remain uncommitted, the more opportunities will be available to you. It's been stated by wiser Men than I that women are dream-killers - and while I agree with this, I'd say this is due more to the man involved, and their own complicity and apathy, than some grand scheme of women.

It's actually in women's best interest that you don't commit to them for a variety of reasons. I realize how counterintuitive that reads, but in your being so readily available you decrease your value as a commodity to them. Scarcity increases value, and particularly when the reason for that scarcity is something that serves another's interest (hers in this example). The mid-20s Man pursuing his ambition to become an attorney in law school or the pre-med intern spending long hours at the hospital with aspirations of becoming a doctor is hindered and encumbered with the complications that maintaining a monogamous relationship necessitates of him. His time and efforts need to be applied toward acheiving his goals to become an even higher value Man - not just in terms of financial success but for his own edification and confidence. Needless to say, the constraints and obligations that maintaining a monogamous relationship require - both in time and emotional investment - make achieving these ambitions far more difficult.

Those are a couple of obvious illustrations of how this works, but the world is littered with "could've-been" men who voluntarily (and enthusiastically)discarded their ambitions and passions, no matter how mundane, in order to hold together a relationship that they should never have engaged in in the first place. They'd trade their ambition for a pseudo-satisfaction of allying an emotional insecurity (which is never really satisfied). Their monogamy and the liabilities needed for maintaining it becomes their new ambition, and only later do they realize that by doing so they only encouraged its end in the long term because the Man that their women thought they would become dropped his ambition to be a lesser man for her. This is why women cheat on the "could've-been" man.

I've taken a lot of heat for Plate Theory from AFCs who think it's a promotion of some hedonistic lifestyle of the chauvinist male or a return to the free-love era. This is exactly how a feminized social convention would expect a man to respond, but there's much more to the theory than just access to more available sex. It's not a numbers game of how many women a guy can sleep with, but rather a challenge to remain available to more of life's experiences.

Say there were two men; one who never left rural Montana his whole life and another who'd travelled to dozens of countries, seen countless cultures and decided to settle down in Montana after it all. Both would tell you that they love their home very much and would give you reasons why they're comfortable in their home and why you ought to live there too, but who's experience would convince you that you ought to make your home near them or anywhere else for that matter?

I tend to promote the idea that Men should be sexually and emotionally non-exclusive until age 30, but this is a minimal suggestion. I think 35 may even serve better for Men. The importance being that as a Man ages and matures in his career, his ambitions and passions, his personality, his ability to better judge character, his overall understanding of behavior and motivations, etc. he becomes more valuable to the most desirable women and therefore enjoys better opportunity in this respect. Women's sexual value decreases as they age and the balance tips into the older Man's favor. It's the Men who realize this early and understand that bettering themselves in the now will pay off better in the future while still enjoying (and learning from) the opportunities that come from being non-exclusive and non-commital make him a Man that women will compete for in the long term.

In your mid-20s you are at the apex of your potential with regards to the direction you will influence your life to go. I'm not going to make any friends by pointing this out, but what pisses off most "serial monogamists" is the unspoken regret of having assumed the responsibilities, liabilities and accountability of what monogamy demands before they truly understood their potential.

Women should only ever be a compliment to a man's life, never the focus of it.

Now some of you are going to say that's the point; the OP is too focused on many women and thus lives his life for (multiple) women. While that certainly may be a potential, he is still doing what what the monogamist has no stomach for - maintaining his options. Commitment of any kind means limiting or outright denial of options. This then is the dichotomy of commitment: Have I experienced enough and learned enough to understand that what I am committing to is worth denying myself future options?

 

[comic_relief]

Why does male human potential have to be limited by females?

I was in a relationship and that didn't stop me from biking across the country without her. I understand there is an opportunity cost but most men will not do what is in their interest when the relationship is in danger of failure. We heard all of these horror stories of terrible relationships, but it doesn't always have to be. That is why we spin plates to find the best possible match for us.

Besides that, goals and dreams change over time. What may have been an attractive goal at one point will change into another goal later on (starting a nonprofit seemed like a great idea but I have changed my opinion and dream to something else). As long as women only compliment your life, but NEVER define them than one should be fine. OR if the females dreams and desires are the same as your own (I know, isn't it rare to find one that not only pushes you but furthers your own goals in life).

I'm also curious Rollo, when did you get married (age is an acceptable answer)?

- comic_relief

 

[drak_ool]

Now, of course this is not to generalize every man who has a girlfriend. Some of them have a "girlfriend" but they still bang other girls on the side. This post does not apply to these guys. If you are one of these guys, disregard this post and move on. [/B]

Ok, now you make me feel better about myself!!!

Seriously though, I hook up with other chicks because at the moment my gf lives on a different continent. However when we were seeing each other every day I didn't have a problem staying faithful to her.

I would actually even go as far as saying that I would rather live with my gf, who is an amazing girl whom I am madly in love with, rather than doing the random hoes chasing that I engage in at the moment. I'm not saying that I dislike random hookups, of course not, but if I had a choice I would rather spend my time with a girl that I truly care for, a girl with whom I am building something, not some random skanks.

I think most guys' problem is screening. I didn't just start a relationship with the first girl who wanted to be exclusive. Far from it: in fact I rejected any idea of having a relationship with a number of girls until I found one lady who was truly above the rest. As long as guys don't settle, the right girlfriend can be a lot more fun that the random hookups.