David Shade
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- Joined
- Dec 28, 2004
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Most women are sub, but some are DOM
Someone emailed me this question:
>I've not normally been a dirty
>talker during sex, but I
>really enjoy it when a chick
>dirty-talks. And, even when I
>do talk dirty sometimes the
>chick doesn't really
>reciprocate even tho I'd like
>her to, and even tell that to
>her. I've noticed chicks tend
>to match what's going on, but
>some still don't and won't get
>into the dirty talk. Funny,
>but it helps me from getting
>mentally distracted and I'd
>like it if all chicks talked
>dirty all the time during sex.
>Other than subtle suggestions
>through linguistics (SS/NLP),
>dirty-talking myself and
>seeing if she'll reciprocate,
>or outright requesting it,
>do you have ideas on how to
>get a chick into it if she
>doesn't seem to be or does try
>for a little while then stops?
Most women are sexually submissive. It's largely due to the way they were socially programmed. For them, it's part of being woman. She loves it when her man talks dirty to her, but she is not going to talk dirty back, and she is not going to initiate. It would not be sub to do so.
You need to find a woman who is comfortable initiating and talking dirty, or in other words, a sexually dominant woman. They DO exist. It is a matter of interviewing specifically for that.
For example, just last Saturday night, my girlfriend Suzanne and I were at a night club looking for bisexual women. We were leaning back against the bar having a drink. I had just finished a beer and had switched to Pepsi, and I started having the hick-ups, which was a total pain. Two women approached the bar next to us and ordered a drink. The brunette was a 7.5 and the blonde was an 8.5 or 9. I said to the blonde: "Do you know a cure for hick-ups?" She said: "Hold your breath." I said "My girlfriend told me to do that, but it hasn't worked. Hey, you're drinking a Labatt's Blue Light, that's how I got the hick-ups." She said: "You have to gulp in a big gulp of air, and hold it for as long as you can." And she demonstrated. I laughed and said: "I can see how that could work. Who are you here with?" She described how she was here with her girlfriend and another girl who were celebrating the birthday of the mother of the other girl. The mother was getting very drunk. Suzanne and the brunette started talking.
I said to the blonde: "My girlfriend and I like to people watch. It is very interesting how you can figure people out just by watching them." (Women love to people watch.) She said: "Oh yes!" I said: "Like most of the men here (as I motioned away) are just horny. They are just looking for a woman to masturbate inside of." She said "Oh Yes! That is so true!" (This always strikes a cord with women.) I said "Women have told me that it is very hard to find a good man." She said: "God, I'll say!" (Very true for women.) I said: "Like, can you tell if a man is genuine?" She said: "Yes, it is all in how they approach the situation. Some men are like 'Hey Baby' which is a real turn off." I said: "Yes, that is objectifying of women." She said: "Yes! They have no idea how to deal with women." (All very true for women.) She added: "And some men are too intimidated to talk to a woman. They circle around like buzzards but are too afraid to say anything. It's creepy. I like the men who just come up and say 'Hi, how's it going?'"
I said: "Yes, a lot of men are intimidated by women. Most men think that women have all the power. But the women I know don't think so. (Very true.) It may be that they could walk into any bar and take a guy home in 5 minutes, but they are not interested in that, so it doesn't matter." (True. That doesn't matter to women. In fact they think it's stupid.) She said: "Exactly!" I said: "The reality is that women have all the frustration. They find it very difficult to meet a man who can have a powerful affect on them. And they have not met a man who can give them orgasms!" She said "So true!" (All very true for women.)
I said: "Power is where you think it is. If a man thinks that women have all the power, that will be his reality, and he will forever be the supplicant. (Women know this about some men.) But for a man who is personally powerful, women will respond, and women will feel compelled to surrender to this man and have wild screaming orgasms under his touch." (Women rarely meet a man who is personally powerful.) She agreed totally and began to apologetically describe the man she is 'sorta seeing' now. I could tell she was only seeing him because she had nobody else better to be with for now, and that he was just not ringing her bell.
I said: "So, let me ask you, when you were a teenager, and you blossomed, admit, did you go out and exercise your new found sexual power?" She said: "Yes, I did. But not for long. It got tiring very quickly." I said: "Yes, a lot of women do that. (Very true, a lot of women did that when they blossomed.) And then you find yourself wishing that there were men who were really worthy." She said: "Yes! So true! And it is frustrating for me, because I have a very high sex drive. Ha Ha. I can't help it, I'm insatiable." (Believe it or not guys, many women are hornier than you can imagine.)
I said: "So, do you know what you look for in a man? Do you like a strong man who is comfortable with a woman's sexuality?" She said "Oh yes, but in the bedroom, I like to be the one who gives the commands. See, in my everyday life, I do not like being the one in charge, I do not like being the leader, but in the bedroom I DO!" I said: "Now a lot of my friends would love to have a woman like that. Many of my friends want a woman who is more aggressive in the bedroom. Like, I bet you like to tie the guy up..." She said "Oh YES!" with very big eyes. "And you like to tease him. For a long time! And you won't let him come!" She said "Exactly! He can't come!" I said: "But he has to make you come over and over again." She said: "Yes! HAHA!" She was loving it. I said: "And, at times, I bet you like to switch roles and be the submissive, at times." She said "Oh Yes! It's fun to switch!" I said: "It is all about consensual power exchange. It is about a person trusting another person enough to give them total control, in that context." Her eyes got even bigger and she was talking even faster and describing how she loved the term 'consensual power exchange.' I talked about how very powerful men, like CEOs of multinational corporations, who deal with great power and responsibility in their everyday life, tend to be very submissive in the bedroom. She was eating it up.
I said: "You see, my girlfriend Suzanne is very submissive in the bedroom. In her everyday life, she is the leader at work, she is in charge, but when she is with me in the bedroom, she likes to be told what to do." She said: "Yes?" She wanted to hear more. I said: "You see, I am very much a DOM in the bedroom. Suzanne trusts me totally, and she surrenders to me totally, and in that context, she expresses her sexuality." She said: "Wow, that's awesome." I said: "Suzanne has a fantasy. She would like for me and another women who is very DOM to tell her what to do in the bedroom." She lit up bright and said: "Oh YES! That would be HOT!"
Just then the third girl came up to them and said something. The blonde looked back and saw that the birthday mother was falling over drunk. The blonde said to me "Stay right here! I'll be right back!" She and the brunette ran to the drunk mother. The old ***** was so wasted that they had to almost carry her out of the place. Talk about **** block. Oh well, such as it goes at times.
It's very easy to find out if a woman is sexually DOM or sub. So, if that is what you must have, interview for that.
David Shade
http://www.davidshade.com
Someone emailed me this question:
>I've not normally been a dirty
>talker during sex, but I
>really enjoy it when a chick
>dirty-talks. And, even when I
>do talk dirty sometimes the
>chick doesn't really
>reciprocate even tho I'd like
>her to, and even tell that to
>her. I've noticed chicks tend
>to match what's going on, but
>some still don't and won't get
>into the dirty talk. Funny,
>but it helps me from getting
>mentally distracted and I'd
>like it if all chicks talked
>dirty all the time during sex.
>Other than subtle suggestions
>through linguistics (SS/NLP),
>dirty-talking myself and
>seeing if she'll reciprocate,
>or outright requesting it,
>do you have ideas on how to
>get a chick into it if she
>doesn't seem to be or does try
>for a little while then stops?
Most women are sexually submissive. It's largely due to the way they were socially programmed. For them, it's part of being woman. She loves it when her man talks dirty to her, but she is not going to talk dirty back, and she is not going to initiate. It would not be sub to do so.
You need to find a woman who is comfortable initiating and talking dirty, or in other words, a sexually dominant woman. They DO exist. It is a matter of interviewing specifically for that.
For example, just last Saturday night, my girlfriend Suzanne and I were at a night club looking for bisexual women. We were leaning back against the bar having a drink. I had just finished a beer and had switched to Pepsi, and I started having the hick-ups, which was a total pain. Two women approached the bar next to us and ordered a drink. The brunette was a 7.5 and the blonde was an 8.5 or 9. I said to the blonde: "Do you know a cure for hick-ups?" She said: "Hold your breath." I said "My girlfriend told me to do that, but it hasn't worked. Hey, you're drinking a Labatt's Blue Light, that's how I got the hick-ups." She said: "You have to gulp in a big gulp of air, and hold it for as long as you can." And she demonstrated. I laughed and said: "I can see how that could work. Who are you here with?" She described how she was here with her girlfriend and another girl who were celebrating the birthday of the mother of the other girl. The mother was getting very drunk. Suzanne and the brunette started talking.
I said to the blonde: "My girlfriend and I like to people watch. It is very interesting how you can figure people out just by watching them." (Women love to people watch.) She said: "Oh yes!" I said: "Like most of the men here (as I motioned away) are just horny. They are just looking for a woman to masturbate inside of." She said "Oh Yes! That is so true!" (This always strikes a cord with women.) I said "Women have told me that it is very hard to find a good man." She said: "God, I'll say!" (Very true for women.) I said: "Like, can you tell if a man is genuine?" She said: "Yes, it is all in how they approach the situation. Some men are like 'Hey Baby' which is a real turn off." I said: "Yes, that is objectifying of women." She said: "Yes! They have no idea how to deal with women." (All very true for women.) She added: "And some men are too intimidated to talk to a woman. They circle around like buzzards but are too afraid to say anything. It's creepy. I like the men who just come up and say 'Hi, how's it going?'"
I said: "Yes, a lot of men are intimidated by women. Most men think that women have all the power. But the women I know don't think so. (Very true.) It may be that they could walk into any bar and take a guy home in 5 minutes, but they are not interested in that, so it doesn't matter." (True. That doesn't matter to women. In fact they think it's stupid.) She said: "Exactly!" I said: "The reality is that women have all the frustration. They find it very difficult to meet a man who can have a powerful affect on them. And they have not met a man who can give them orgasms!" She said "So true!" (All very true for women.)
I said: "Power is where you think it is. If a man thinks that women have all the power, that will be his reality, and he will forever be the supplicant. (Women know this about some men.) But for a man who is personally powerful, women will respond, and women will feel compelled to surrender to this man and have wild screaming orgasms under his touch." (Women rarely meet a man who is personally powerful.) She agreed totally and began to apologetically describe the man she is 'sorta seeing' now. I could tell she was only seeing him because she had nobody else better to be with for now, and that he was just not ringing her bell.
I said: "So, let me ask you, when you were a teenager, and you blossomed, admit, did you go out and exercise your new found sexual power?" She said: "Yes, I did. But not for long. It got tiring very quickly." I said: "Yes, a lot of women do that. (Very true, a lot of women did that when they blossomed.) And then you find yourself wishing that there were men who were really worthy." She said: "Yes! So true! And it is frustrating for me, because I have a very high sex drive. Ha Ha. I can't help it, I'm insatiable." (Believe it or not guys, many women are hornier than you can imagine.)
I said: "So, do you know what you look for in a man? Do you like a strong man who is comfortable with a woman's sexuality?" She said "Oh yes, but in the bedroom, I like to be the one who gives the commands. See, in my everyday life, I do not like being the one in charge, I do not like being the leader, but in the bedroom I DO!" I said: "Now a lot of my friends would love to have a woman like that. Many of my friends want a woman who is more aggressive in the bedroom. Like, I bet you like to tie the guy up..." She said "Oh YES!" with very big eyes. "And you like to tease him. For a long time! And you won't let him come!" She said "Exactly! He can't come!" I said: "But he has to make you come over and over again." She said: "Yes! HAHA!" She was loving it. I said: "And, at times, I bet you like to switch roles and be the submissive, at times." She said "Oh Yes! It's fun to switch!" I said: "It is all about consensual power exchange. It is about a person trusting another person enough to give them total control, in that context." Her eyes got even bigger and she was talking even faster and describing how she loved the term 'consensual power exchange.' I talked about how very powerful men, like CEOs of multinational corporations, who deal with great power and responsibility in their everyday life, tend to be very submissive in the bedroom. She was eating it up.
I said: "You see, my girlfriend Suzanne is very submissive in the bedroom. In her everyday life, she is the leader at work, she is in charge, but when she is with me in the bedroom, she likes to be told what to do." She said: "Yes?" She wanted to hear more. I said: "You see, I am very much a DOM in the bedroom. Suzanne trusts me totally, and she surrenders to me totally, and in that context, she expresses her sexuality." She said: "Wow, that's awesome." I said: "Suzanne has a fantasy. She would like for me and another women who is very DOM to tell her what to do in the bedroom." She lit up bright and said: "Oh YES! That would be HOT!"
Just then the third girl came up to them and said something. The blonde looked back and saw that the birthday mother was falling over drunk. The blonde said to me "Stay right here! I'll be right back!" She and the brunette ran to the drunk mother. The old ***** was so wasted that they had to almost carry her out of the place. Talk about **** block. Oh well, such as it goes at times.
It's very easy to find out if a woman is sexually DOM or sub. So, if that is what you must have, interview for that.
David Shade
http://www.davidshade.com
