Most People Settle (Yet Are Still Happy!)

[bonesmahoney]

Let all the mgtow's, redpillers, blackpillers and sosuavers growl, bark and hiss with anger, but the reality is, married people are happier than any other group: singles, divorced, widowed.

Generally speaking, most people settle, both when they date and when they marry. THIS is the path to happiness. It is long term companionship, not short term, unstable relationships.

Married couples are happier than everyone else, especially in middle age

A new analysis of more than 286,000 people sheds light on why married people report higher levels of life satisfaction.

www.marketwatch.com

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Let all the mgtow's, redpillers, blackpillers and sosuavers growl, bark and hiss with anger, but the reality is, married people are happier than any other group: singles, divorced, widowed.

Generally speaking, most people settle, both when they date and when they marry. THIS is the path to happiness. It is long term companionship, not short term, unstable relationships.

Married couples are happier than everyone else, especially in middle age

A new analysis of more than 286,000 people sheds light on why married people report higher levels of life satisfaction.

www.marketwatch.com

You shouldn't "settle" into a relationship where you guys don't get along or she treats you badly. But "settle" on a "looks" standard and putting more of a priority on compatibility I can agree with.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I think the term settling can be a little misleading. I think what many people do is they trade "hotness" and more superficial qualities for other more personal qualities.

That being said if a guy who is a 7 marries a whale who is a 3 then absolutely he is settling...I think it depends on how much of a trade off you are doing in terms of deciding whether it is settling. If you are trading more than 1 or 2 spots then you likely are settling. If you are trading an 8 for a 7 then it's more likely finding other qualities more important long term.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I think the term settling can be a little misleading. I think what many people do is they trade "hotness" and more superficial qualities for other more personal qualities.

That being said if a guy who is a 7 marries a whale who is a 3 then absolutely he is settling...I think it depends on how much of a trade off you are doing in terms of deciding whether it is settling. If you are trading more than 1 or 2 spots then you likely are settling. If you are trading an 8 for a 7 then it's more likely finding other qualities more important long term.

Trading a unagreeable and hard to get along with "9" for an agreeable, helpful, loving and extremely sexual "7".

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Trading a unagreeable and hard to get along with "9" for an agreeable, helpful, loving and extremely sexual "7".

I'd make that trade every day and twice on Sunday.

 

[Billtx49]

Trading a unagreeable and hard to get along with "9" for an agreeable, helpful, loving and extremely sexual "7".

Exactly. Her personal qualities, lifetime goals, and compatibility are more than a few degrees of precedence over her looks when marriage is considered …
Marriage is a long term partnership, find the right partner and you might stay out of D court…

 

[Lookatu]

I think the term settling can be a little misleading. I think what many people do is they trade "hotness" and more superficial qualities for other more personal qualities.

That being said if a guy who is a 7 marries a whale who is a 3 then absolutely he is settling...I think it depends on how much of a trade off you are doing in terms of deciding whether it is settling. If you are trading more than 1 or 2 spots then you likely are settling. If you are trading an 8 for a 7 then it's more likely finding other qualities more important long term.

I agree with this.

Personally I think everyone needs to settle if they want a happy LTR or marriage. If you're always chasing perfection that isn't there, it is foolish and delusional at best and you will forever remain single and unhappy whether you're a male or female.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I agree with this.

Personally I think everyone needs to settle if they want a happy LTR or marriage. If you're always chasing perfection that isn't there, it is foolish and delusional at best and you will forever remain single and unhappy whether you're a male or female.

Yes, there has to be some "wiggle room", some "compromise", you have to let a few minor things "slide". "Don't sweat the small stuff". None of us is perfect.

 

[Travel memoir21]

Bones Mahoney giving us ‘his’ daily dose of reality check

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Bones Mahoney giving us ‘his’ daily dose of reality check

It's a good adjustment.

 

[deadmasterx]

Yes I believe that a HEALTHY relationship can indeed add a good amunt of happiness in your life, and it's not even up to discussion. Of course, the relationship is going to be one of your sources of happiness, like your job, your friends and your lifestyle were supposed to be. It's important to add tho that you won't find completeness on someone else - a relationship must be two complete people sharing their completeness. That's the idea of the thing, but romance movies and the lack of a strong masculine image for boys ever since the 70s created a generation of "nice guys", and I include myself in this since I'm a single mother son.

So what is necessary to get in a good relationship? First you have to improve yourself, get out of this beta nice guy box that most guys were directly or indirectly taught to get in since they were kids. Second, recognize your worth - you're a man, you make your own way. Being with someone is great, but what leads your life is your direction and your purpose. The woman that is with you can either be by your side, holding hands and letting you guide the relationship (because yes, men and women are equal in the relationship, but men must have an authority, it's completely up to the man do guide the relationship to what he believes it's the best) or separate your ways.

So if you can get in the point that I described, get yourself a good woman that will support you and you will support her, that's awesome, you surely will be happy. If you're incomplete and get yourself a girl, you can be happy for sometime, more than the average guy, but then you'll start feeling miserable as she becomes your main source of happiness. Needless to say that this relationship won't last long, but the main idea is that these relationships, if you see it with the right mindset, will help you grow. That's what happened with me, personally, and I'm glad it happened this way.

I think I read that quote in a book that says "In a relationship, you either grow together or grow apart". I think it says enough of what a good relationship is supposed to be like.

 

[manfrombelow]

Make yourself happy first before entering a relationship.

In rare cases that a relationship truly makes two parties happy, it's simply because they were ALREADY happy people before they came together, not vice versa.

 

[SW15]

Married people being more satisfied than single and unattached people only occurred because married people do stumble their way into sex occasionally. A large percentage of single and unattached people find it difficult to obtain sex on even a semi-regular basis. A married couple having a subpar sex life of twice a month seems like a great deal to a incel guy. Struggling betas and incels bring down the satisfaction rates for single and unattached people.

Single, unattached men who regularly have sex and have more active sex lives than longer term marrieds who are doing the 2-3 times a month thing are likely happier.

Stuggling betas and incels are a large percentage of single and unattacheds.

Single and unattached women also skew the happiness data as well. Most single and unattached women have few problems getting sex. Many feel deep unhappiness if they can't achieve committment. There is an increasing number of 30 something, never married, childless single women who are unhappy.

Remember that the feminist mantra is "Never Settle!". Women are programmed to be 30-45 years old and still seeking what they think their 21 year old selves could obtain.

 

[Dash Riprock]

If married couples are so blissfully happy, why is the divorce rate over 50% in the US? And of the remaining 50% who stay married, how many are in a healthy relationship?

To quote a good friend of mine who is married with two young kids: "My time is not my own." Meaning, every hour of his day outside of his demanding job and sleeping is devoted to wife and kids.

This would be a death sentence, for me anyway.

I've been in many LTRs, some for years and some were live-in girlfriends, and I can say I'm MUCH happier flying solo making my own rules and doing my own thing 24x7.

But I do know guys and have good friends who are not wired for the single life and who's #1 goal in life is to get married.

Just not in my DNA.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

If married couples are so blissfully happy, why is the divorce rate over 50% in the US? And of the remaining 50% who stay married, how many are in a healthy relationship?

To quote a good friend of mine who is married with two young kids: "My time is not my own." Meaning, every hour of his day outside of his demanding job and sleeping is devoted to wife and kids.

This would be a death sentence, for me anyway.

I've been in many LTRs, some for years and some were live-in girlfriends, and I can say I'm MUCH happier flying solo making my own rules and doing my own thing 24x7.

But I do know guys and have good friends who are not wired for the single life and who's #1 goal in life is to get married.

Just not in my DNA.

Many folks aren't wired for it, hence the issues. Others would naturally "pair up" without being programmed to.

 

[bonesmahoney]

On the flip side, how unfulfilled, unhappy and meaningless are the lives of single people if they are even more unhappy than the hypothetical unhealthy married couples you speak of?

The data is clear: on average, married people are the happiest demographic. They are also the wealthiest.

If married couples are so blissfully happy, why is the divorce rate over 50% in the US? And of the remaining 50% who stay married, how many are in a healthy relationship?

 

[OldComeBacker]

Married people aren't happier, they are better at pretending.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Married people aren't happier, they are better at pretending.

Some actually are happier not most though.

 

[jaymbrs]

Cant wait to hear what @DEEZEDBRAH has to say about this lol

But in all seriousness, I've posted this before, my friend absolutely settled for a chick in the looks department. She's easily a 4 due to her weight and 2 kids from some guy who is now in prison. But according to him she's a great partner, unwavering support for his success, cooks, cleans and is a good mother to her kids and their kid.I'm finding as I'm getting older that my superficial bar is going lower and lower if I'm thinking longterm about a woman. Not everyone can have a unicorn.

 

[Bandolero]

Cant wait to hear what @DEEZEDBRAH has to say about this lol

But in all seriousness, I've posted this before, my friend absolutely settled for a chick in the looks department. She's easily a 4 due to her weight and 2 kids from some guy who is now in prison. But according to him she's a great partner, unwavering support for his success, cooks, cleans and is a good mother to her kids and their kid.I'm finding as I'm getting older that my superficial bar is going lower and lower if I'm thinking longterm about a woman. Not everyone can have a unicorn.

Actually no one of us is going to have a unicorn. We know female nature . There are some great women out there, but a unicorn can only exists if u are not aware of it's existence.