most important date of my life tomorrow

[captain55]

I will make this brief
- broke up with my ex because she was acting distant and I assumed she was cheating on me.
- turns out she wasn't cheating on me, she had just fallen out of love with me. Didn't find out she was telling the truth until 6 weeks after we had broken up by confirming her story.
- start talking again, says she misses me..I think she thinks she "may" have made a mistake.

If I can light a spark tomorrow, I think I can win her back guys. I know were big on not taking exes back but this was a quality chick, and she turned out to be loyal as well. ... and I feel like she's ready to see the new me.

I've got three hours tomorrow to spend some time with her, and no...I won't have a place to bang her unfortunately. Sex our most powerful tool as men...I won't be able to use it to my advantage tomorrow. She knows Ive moved on and am seeing other attractive women, I think it impressed her and that's why I think she is keeping me around.


How am I supposed to get my ex gf to fall in love with me over a cup of coffee

 

[djthiago1]

Brooo. She will fall out of love again. I wouldn't consider going back unless i've slept with at least 1 girl during the breakup. IMO.

 

[Starfvcks 64]

She may not have "cheated" but I promise you she was talking to other guys. I'm sure she did things you would not be comfortable with, and she won't admit to it because she doesn't see it as wrong. You said yourself that she fell out of love with you, and that says a lot. A girl won't typically leave a guy until she's found another safe bet to jump in bed with. To ensure that other guys is a "safe bet" she would have had to talk to him, maybe even hung out with him, for a while. That's how it goes, and I know from experience and being on both sides of this. Most guys here will be able to say the same.

Her getting back with you is her saying this:
"I tried to explore my options, but I didn't have any luck. So I want to stay with you until I can find someone better."
Does that sound like a good arrangement to you?

You say you can get other hot girls, and I'm not going to doubt you. But think about what you communicate by getting back with this one, "i'm ok with your disrespectful behavior."
You broke up with her because you THOUGHT she was cheating. Even though you say you found out she wasn't... the fact you were suspicious enough to dump her says enough.
If you have any feelings for her, don't see her again at risk of getting in a relationship with her again.

 

[VladPatton]

Worse thing you can do. It shows you have zero options. It's your life, do what you want, but going back to a girl will give her ultimate power over you.

What I would do is friend zone her. Meet with her, have a coffee, let her speak, and part ways like a boss. Don't trade your dignity for the sake of having a girlfriend. Up to you, man.

 

[captain55]

She may not have "cheated" but I promise you she was talking to other guys. I'm sure she did things you would not be comfortable with, and she won't admit to it because she doesn't see it as wrong. You said yourself that she fell out of love with you, and that says a lot. A girl won't typically leave a guy until she's found another safe bet to jump in bed with. To ensure that other guys is a "safe bet" she would have had to talk to him, maybe even hung out with him, for a while. That's how it goes, and I know from experience and being on both sides of this. Most guys here will be able to say the same.

Her getting back with you is her saying this:
"I tried to explore my options, but I didn't have any luck. So I want to stay with you until I can find someone better."
Does that sound like a good arrangement to you?

You say you can get other hot girls, and I'm not going to doubt you. But think about what you communicate by getting back with this one, "i'm ok with your disrespectful behavior."
You broke up with her because you THOUGHT she was cheating. Even though you say you found out she wasn't... the fact you were suspicious enough to dump her says enough.
If you have any feelings for her, don't see her again at risk of getting in a relationship with her again.

No bro my situation was totally different. I never thought she was cheating on me, I thought she was talking to a guy behind my back. Turns out that it was her girlfriend she was talking to that night , I was able to confirm with dates and times of text messages but not until we had been broken up 4 weeks lol. My own insecurities got the best of me....

And no I definitely will NOT get into a relationship with her again.

 

[captain55]

Worse thing you can do. It shows you have zero options. It's your life, do what you want, but going back to a girl will give her ultimate power over you.

What I would do is friend zone her. Meet with her, have a coffee, let her speak, and part ways like a boss. Don't trade your dignity for the sake of having a girlfriend. Up to you, man.

I've managed to get her to invite me to go out with me again without looking too needy or desperate. I just began seeing other women...and told her Id be fine with us being friends.

I WOULD like to **** her again though or keep her around as a side chick which is why Im stressing this date tomorrow. IF it goes well I know she'll be contacting me this weekend.

 

[Starfvcks 64]

I agree with VladPatton.
"Meet with her, have a coffee, let her speak, and part ways like a boss."
But i'm thinking about it from a different angle. If you actually, truly, with 100% confidence feel like you could still fvck her as a plate only while still seeing other girls, you should still meet up with her and friend zone her.
That lets her know you serious about having options, and it shows you aren't going to let her have power over you. Then, after a while, set up a situation where you will be able to have sex and invite her out. Establish her as a plate by treating her as a plate.

Don't act of insecurity, which is what i'm worried you'll be doing.

 

[guru1000]

Most important date of your life tomorrow?

She is pedestaled: Frame is already compromised before your meet. Game over.

 

[captain55]

I agree with VladPatton.
"Meet with her, have a coffee, let her speak, and part ways like a boss."
But i'm thinking about it from a different angle. If you actually, truly, with 100% confidence feel like you could still fvck her as a plate only while still seeing other girls, you should still meet up with her and friend zone her.
That lets her know you serious about having options, and it shows you aren't going to let her have power over you. Then, after a while, set up a situation where you will be able to have sex and invite her out. Establish her as a plate by treating her as a plate.

Don't act of insecurity, which is what i'm worried you'll be doing.

The thing is bro she already KNOWS the women I have dated, and knows the women I am talking to. She even mentioned one chick she saw me with and insulted her showing signs of jealousy (she's prettier than my ex) but what can I say I still want my ex.

But I AM going to take your guys advice and friend zone her tomorrow. My deepest fear is that if she is feeling that spark again tomorrow and I don't make a move...she might think I just don't want her anymore and never call me back.

 

[El Payaso]

Absolutely do NOT do a cup of coffee. WTF? This isn't the movies.

 

[captain55]

Absolutely do NOT do a cup of coffee. WTF? This isn't the movies.

tricky situation brother. She lives with her parents and is 45 minutes away, I just work by her. I'll have no place to bang her. tomorrow.

 

[captain55]

as much as I want to make out with her and tell her Im still in love with her, Im thinking my only real option is going to be to friendzone.

 

[Trump]

But I AM going to take your guys advice and friend zone her tomorrow. My deepest fear is that if she is feeling that spark again tomorrow and I don't make a move...she might think I just don't want her anymore and never call me back.

Bro I don't know but this sounded hilarious to me.

Your deepest fear meeting your ex girlfriend tomorrow is that she might fall so love with you that she will give in to her basic instincts and start ripping off her clothes in the restaurant to have sex with you right then and there on the table? And if you don't recipricate right then and there she'll hate you and won't call you back? That's your DEEPEST fear?

Then just call her and say "Sorry, I can't meet you tomorrow because I'm afraid you will fall in love with me all over again, lets give it some more time so you can control you love."

When you said most important date...I thought it was an interview with NASA or something. But anyway, good luck. :rock:

 

[Fugitive]

Lets be honest. No guy goes to the lengths of posting on here, meeting a girl and calling it the most important date of his life if he's about to friendzone her.

If you want to be friends drop her a text and say "sorry can't meet, think we should just be friends".

She's just playing you. She knows you want her and so she's about to f*ck with you. Don't let her and assert you're dominance by pulling out of the meeting. If you don't it just proves your a beta and she will love f*cking you up again.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Everyone has given you solid advice above.

You shouldn't be "stressing" a meet up with any chick, much less with your ex of all people. Why do you want to win back a girl who's fallen out of love with you? Want to know why you were feeling insecure and anxious? For that very reason - the fumes of her indifference revealed to you who exactly was really in control in that relationship. And you want back in?

Replace frame of "most important date of my life tomorrow" with "troll or be trolled tomorrow"

 

[captain55]

Everyone has given you solid advice above.

You shouldn't be "stressing" a meet up with any chick, much less with your ex of all people. Why do you want to win back a girl who's fallen out of love with you? Want to know why you were feeling insecure and anxious? For that very reason - the fumes of her indifference revealed to you who exactly was really in control in that relationship. And you want back in?

Replace frame of "most important date of my life tomorrow" with "troll or be trolled tomorrow"

Because I feel like she had a reason to fall out of love with me. Had I had a been there for her and didn't treat her like **** I think she would of still been with me.
I had tons of chances to change my ways and never took her seriously...you just don't realize what you have until its gone i guess.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Worse thing you can do. It shows you have zero options. It's your life, do what you want, but going back to a girl will give her ultimate power over you.

What I would do is friend zone her. Meet with her, have a coffee, let her speak, and part ways like a boss. Don't trade your dignity for the sake of having a girlfriend. Up to you, man.

It's all but etched in stone that this in bold is what you're headed for if you get back with her. Now she'll able to justify any and all behavior you may deem 'suspicious' as you simply being paranoid and insecure - she'll always have that trump card on you from this point onward should you patch things up. She's acting distant you say? Go ahead, call her on it and watch how fast she'll drop you. Texting someone late at night? "Didn't we address this last time!?" she might reply, and again, dump you without thinking twice - she's been down this road before. Think she wants to put up with this sh1t again? It will all come down to you having to be on your best behavior. She won't have to prove a damn thing to you and you're just going to have to swallow that. After going through something very similar (and it ending in a disaster), I'd say the forecast looks like you're headed for constant headaches and fluctuating levels of anxiety should you try a second go at a relationship with her, but maybe you have to learn this firsthand, like I did.

 

[LondonTowers]

OP. You are not in a position of strength to deal with this meeting. If you went in like a boss, completely indifferent and had the vibe your getting loads of pu55y and gave the air of "Why the hell would I take you back".. then yes, you would walk out of this with her pining all over you. BUT.. you will not.

She is looking to see if your truly have moved on and will through all kinds of curve balls to test you. You flinch a tiny bit and she will smile and know she has you.. and will go back to pursuing her options with you safely in her back pocket.

You can't fake this stuff and with the frame of this being "the most important date of your life".. well you are putting yourself in the firing line if you go ahead with this.

 

[Donaldinho]

Like most everyone in this post said, you're basically putting her on a pedestal and your end game is basically getting back with her.
You can come up with as many rationalizations like "I just want her as a plate" etc. but from what I'm reading you want your Oneitis with her back.
Do the no contact challenge and spin some more plates, then maybe you'll be ready to have her as a plate also.

 

[Suspens]

most important bla bla

Dude It's doomed to fail, cancel the date already.

Or change your mindset. "Her last chance to prove her love tomorrow. And I'll let her know I'm Fvcking much hotter one, so she will have big competitors" That's better.