Moral Dilema

[Cod3r]

Sup fellas...

Ok here's my problem. I've got pretty much the best girl i've ever met, but the problem is that now that I've got her... Human nature has kicked in and something inside me wants hotter *****, she's about an HB7.5 on average days ... has potential to be HB8.0 on her best days when we go out together... <-- purely looks...

The fact that she has stable job, makes alot of money, cleans my place up, cooks me food, buys me presents outta nowhere, pays for dinners (splits with me) met my family, i've met hers, ect... makes her an HB10...

Now she has expressed that she KNOWS that i'm the one that she wants to marry and have kids with, NO DOUBT, plain and simple she's said it and plenty of times she's suggested we 'beat' with me cummin inside her so I know she's serious... and to tell you the truth, I'd have kids and marry her BUT

I'm only 22... just turned... she's 28... we're just at different parts of our lives but met and fell absolutely in love.. I dunno what to do, I promised myself I wouldn't cheat (I have on every other girl i been with) and for 6 months since I been with her.. I haven't even thought about it... but now i'm seeing hotter and hotter and hotter women everyday and damn I haven't had enough experiences to say THIS IS THE ONE... If I was 26, full-time job, house... YES in a heart-beat I'd marry and have kids with her, but i'm 22 ???

She's the most perfect and innocent and sweet person I've ever met and breaking up with her is a NO GO, she dosen't deserve that heart-ache, so what i'm thinking is to just cheat on her to satisfy my urges for hotter women right now... and then when it fades away return to normal and eventually marry, kids... happily ever after... wat u think ?? Am i satan ?

Also, if I cheated NO WAY she'd ever know... we don't have same friends, don't go to same clubs, when I go out she stays home... she dosen't have many friends and I live in New York City with 8 million population, chances of getting caught = None to None... I've cheated under harder circumstances and never been caught so def. wouldn't happen now....

It's just morally is this right ?? And if it isn't wtf to do ?? I can't break up wither her, I can't look at her face when I did that she'd cry and really I seriously do believe I'd regret it in the long-term as I don't think i'd find anyone with more of a complete package than her EVER in the rest of my lifetime... she's THAT special, trust me... Help a brother out


-Cod3r

 

[skip2mylou781]

this is exactly what i do........dont worry about morals, worry about BEING HAPPY

 

[milrenkb]

Well the first thing I'd like to ask you is if she falls under the catagory of Carlos Xuma's agenda chick.

Agenda Chick: Girl whos sole focus is to get married and have kids. Her life centers arround the relationship. Then four years later she wakes up to the realization that this isn't who she is and she never took the time to take care of her own needs. At this point she'll be filling out divorce papers leaving you clueless.

I'm not jumping to conclusions but I still want to get a feel for where your at with this. The title you chose for the thread is very approriate because on one hand you have a fantastic girl but on the other hand it seems that shes pushing to far to fast.

 

[Nexxus]

im only 17 but i hope u don't brush off my advice

don't marry her... yet at least, you've only been with her for 6 months which may seem long but u gotta be sure first, also fact that you're considerring cheating on a potential wife is honestly kind of messed up... if u do cheat on her just know that you probably shouldn't marry her...

another fact is that you're still 22 and well she's 28, as you said you're both at different stages of your life, whilst she is in the stage of settling down you are in the prime of your meeting new people and relationship life

I am correct in saying that she was the first person to bring the subject of marriage up right? are you sure that you considerred marrying her even before she brought the subject up? bringing up a subject can be a huge and often well working suggestion? ask yourself that if she hadn't brought it up would you be thinking about marriage right now?

make the right choice, good luck

 

[Cod3r]

Agenda Chick: Girl whos sole focus is to get married and have kids. Her life centers arround the relationship. Then four years later she wakes up to the realization that this isn't who she is and she never took the time to take care of her own needs. At this point she'll be filling out divorce papers leaving you clueless.

She really has NO agenda as far as I can see... She's the type of girl who I could just live with and never marry, she'd never push for anything. We basically talked for hours before she finally came out and told me she thought I was the one... this is after I pushed her on the subject, she said she didn't want to say as she didn't want to scaare me or come on too strong....

--
I mean she's turning 29 next month and its just that time for her. She says I'm her perfect man, she treats me that way also. SHe's got a job she loves, she takes classes at FIT to further her career at her job, she's got some close friends she chills with, i mean she has a life outside of me although I'd say i'm about 60% of it... but still, she's not some psycho that's just tryna get married and have little cod3r's... she does love me and i love her but damnnnn i'm just too young to say "YOU ARE THE ONE"...

Even if I knew she was the ONE I wouldn't marry her or have children until I was financially stable which is another 4 or 5 years in this expensive ass city and she knows this, but the problem comes in because I want to see what else is out there without losing her before finally TRULY committing to something long-term with a real future....

She's soo perfect, i probably could tell her that i wanted to see what else was out there and it'd break her heart but she'd let me do that and then take me back without a question... but i refuse to hurt such an angel...


So i'm guessing just cheat and see what else is up.. have some fun with some hotter girls for a while... then when i get bored... settle back with her... she'll never know the difference... i'm satisfied, she's satisfed right ??


I've just been such a GOOD BOY with her, i told msyelf she'd be different. I'm always the evil bastard that dosen't care about girls feelings, but this girl might actually be God in human form... i'm not kidding the way she can look at you its sooooo sweet and innocent... i have -0% desire to hurt her in anyway and I feel like satan incarnate if i cheated.... REALLY CONFUSED !


-Cod3r

 

[milrenkb]

Man usually the advice I would give here would be to just flood her (call 40 times a day, bring flowers everytime you see her, write her the crappiest poems, bascially taking everything you ever learned and reverse it).

Personally I think for now the best thing to do is to go on with business as usual. However under no circumstances should you cheat on this girl. Come on man, I know that at this point your reaching for straws but your better than that.

If it gets to the point where shes pushing marriage before your ready than your going to have to break it off with her. I always think its kind of funny how this community teaches us everything about getting the girl but nothing about keeping the girl. The only source out there for LTR's seems to be Dr. Phil, and I think I speak for everyone when I say that his views definatley are a lot different than the communities.

So to summarize. Just go on and continue seeing this girl, don't cheat, and if she really starts to push marriage before your ready than your going to have to break it off (no matter how hard it is).

 

[wayword]

Just don't be the type of immature idiot who ruins a good thing and lives to regret it. MAN, have I seen that a lot! Dude starts taking his woman for granted, she leaves...and then he keeps begging her back like the world's ultimate AFC.

Personally, I'm no big fan of cheating and dishonesty. But if you're that young and can't resist temptation, then you're probably not ready for marriage anyways. I give you 2 another 3 months.

 

[Cod3r]

Yeah I already had a mini-thing where I broke up with a girl and then regretted it for a awhile afterwards and that girl was a *****....

She does NOT push for marriage, i juss kno she would in a heartbeat. She neva brings it up or anything, she's not some typical girl. She's perfect, but i know thats her intention with me... i juss want hotter puss for right now, ehh i'm confused... i'll hit this later


-Cod3r

 

[Cod3r]

To top it off the way you brag about how girls throw themselves at you, why would you even settle with a 29 year old to begin with

I'm asking myself the same question, hence the dilema. I've turned down hotter girls out of some dedication to this one, also I'm getting itchy seein all this hot puss runnin around out here with these wack ass guys knowin full well I could be fvckin like a rabbit... i didn't 'settle' with her, she really is wonderful she surprised me with her personality i neva had chick like this so obviously its gonna interest me for a little bit, but long long term ehhh i haven't had enough experience yet for all that type of ****

You further proved my point, besides you being a chump, your immature. A real mature person wouldn't resort to doing something like that.

An immature person would just break up with her for his own desires, but since i care about her I don't want to hurt her like that. I consider both of our lives in this relationship, not just what makes me happy. If it was just my happiness I woulda left her and fuccked some girl i met tonite...

Basically i want to be with her, juss not right at this moment. If i wanted to get married she'd be the one, but i don't and i want to experience more puss in my lifetime before i settle on hers which isn't the best i eva had anyway. It's just i don't want to hurt her cuz breakin up with her would KILL her...

OMG, in a 6 months period you've already met her family and she has too!! JESUS SAVE THIS MAN.

whas wrong with that ?? WIthin that 6 months we've been together almost everyday, sleep together everynight, we basically live together... 6months is a long time when u see each otha alot bro

Yeaaaaa, your most definatly in chumpville. I understand the difference between caring for a person, what is morally right and wrong but you know deep down inside your not looking to get married or not even mentally or emotionally ready.

How many girls have you dated all together in your life, including fuks, etc etc? ALL the women you've been with and bee honest. Give me a little background information about her as well because I kinda have a hunch but Im not going to assume.

I admit i'm not ready to get married, i neva said i was... I told her i wouldn't marry her or even consider till I had finances to support it and that is many years down the line, she knows this WELL.... marriage isn't the questions, the question is me needin some hotter puss cuz i'm young and man i wanna fvck some other girls... whas so bad about that ?? Juss tellin her the truth would cause her pain she don't deserve so that's OUT... period

--
I've dated about 15 girls casually and 3 (including her) for more than 6 months. One was 3 years, the other about 1 1/2 years, her = 6 months. I've ****ed all 15 girls casually, the 3 serious ones... that's 18... and I'd say about 7 random's out of clubs or just 1 date, 2 date f*ck type of thing... so probably like 25-30 f*cks and casually dated about 20 to be reasonable, its probably a little more than that... but das a ball-park

She's had her share, about 10-15 partners... she was married for 3 years and didn't work out as the guy was an *******, she had an ex-bf before me who had kids with an ex so he left to handle that business... i met her between those things and initially had no intention of bein in relationship but she grew on me... has killer personality...

I think i'm going to cheat, about 85% sure. WEnt out tonite and had too much of a tease from these *****s out here, makin my **** rockkkkk hard damn. Game is a TAD rusty tho haha, but i'll fix that with some work... Anyway any last advice before i go down this path ???


-Cod3r

 

[Shiftkey]

She's the most perfect and innocent and sweet person I've ever met and breaking up with her is a NO GO, she dosen't deserve that heart-ache, so what i'm thinking is to just cheat on her to satisfy my urges for hotter women right now... and then when it fades away return to normal and eventually marry, kids... happily ever after... wat u think ?? Am i satan ?

It's just morally is this right ?? And if it isn't wtf to do ?? I can't break up wither her, I can't look at her face when I did that she'd cry and really I seriously do believe I'd regret it in the long-term as I don't think i'd find anyone with more of a complete package than her EVER in the rest of my lifetime... she's THAT special, trust me... Help a brother out


-Cod3r

Cheating is not morally right, no matter what spin on it you take. I laughed when I read that you think it's wrong to break up with her, but right to cheat. If you still have the erge to "sow your oats" (and there's nothing wrong with that) you need to tell her and end it. It's downright cruel to string her along when she could be spending this time finding someone who's looking for the same thing. Then what if, while you're cheating, you impregnate another woman? Or you contract an STD and pass it on to her? There are more consequences than getting caught. And sh1t happens, so don't think you're impervious to those consequences. You're so worried about losing "the total package," but if you love her you should think about what she needs right now; and that's not a cheater, or someone in a place in their life where fvcking lots of women is a priority.

 

[whistler]

Some pointers

1. It's too early in your relationship for you to make long-term plans (wait a few more months, at least).

2. You're young. You may be mature, but people change a lot between 19 and 30.

3. It's normal for chicks to fantasize beyond sanity and be driven by their emotions and what they "feel is right." Her feeling is basically worthless. As you probably know, it says nothing about how your relationship will turn out. Chick logic ~= Logic.

4. If no one is pushing for anything, keep this going and enjoy it. The grass will always be greener to some extent (we're guys and we always want new pvssy)... So unless you're positive that you want ditch her, don't fvck around.

good luck,

whistler