I have been friends with this MW for 4 years we work at the same company but live in different states. 1000's of miles apart. We are both in late 30's and travel for our company. This travel has us together 5 to 10 times a year. Our friendship has gotten close. While together we normally go out in groups but recently we have gone out just the 2 of us. We always have an amazing time and these are her words. At this point I have feelings for the MW. The last time we went out we got back to the hotel late. I was staying at another hotel and she didn't want me to drive so I stayed over in her room. We had a great time and laughed a lot. We did sleep together but emphasis on sleep. We snuggled together. I made some moves and did tell her I liked her a lot. I didn't put on a full court press because I wanted her to come around on her own. She is very nice and I don't think this has ever happened to her before while she has been married (12 yrs) Anyway when I left my immediate feeling was that the relationship moved forward even though we didn't have sex of any kind. After thinking about it later I was second guessing myself for not closing the deal. I get signs she likes me and I think more than a friend. I want to move this forward and was looking for advice. After reading over the forum I have decided to use the techinques to get out of the friend zone. I will go out with her on our next trip in a group and when out I will flirt with other women to raise my value in her eyes and then see if she is jealous. Good plan?
MM trying to start relationship with MW - Advice needed
- Thread starter MACATTACK
- Start date
If you're gonna pursue a LDR, (which is a bad idea ) at least grow a pair and make some moves. Im guessing you are FZ'd. Alos, try flirting with HER, and not other women in front of her, or she'll think you arent interested at all, which she probably does anyway.
So, exactly what happened when you told her you liked her, and (gag) 'snuggled' with her? You left out the most important peices of info. What was her reaction exactly.
So, exactly what happened when you told her you liked her, and (gag) 'snuggled' with her? You left out the most important peices of info. What was her reaction exactly.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
This was her way of inviting you into her 'inner world' .MACATTACK said:
Cunning, aren't they? ..
How old are you? What is your marital staTus? Is she still married ? Are you superior to her in the company?
IT seems to me that you did not want to take the risk of "going for it" in case she rejected you and it all turned awkward and sour.
So you were waiting for a 'sure sign' from her, or even an overt approach by her.
IF you end up in a bed with a woman ( HER BED) then you have been given the 'green light'. It is up there flashing brightly.
Your question about flirting with other women next time is interesting.
That tactic to designed to amp up a woman's IL in you by triggering her competition anxiety.
Your problem with this particular women is NOT her low IL - it is sky high, IMO.
Your problem is your own fear.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
Dear Mac,
long distance relationships are murderous....just take advantage of the inevitable progression in your relationship without expecting too much.
long distance relationships are murderous....just take advantage of the inevitable progression in your relationship without expecting too much.
cavedweller
Don Juan
Mac,
You are both married?...My friend you are playing with fire...Watch out, because, you may get burnt..
You are both married?...My friend you are playing with fire...Watch out, because, you may get burnt..
nismo-4
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I ran around catching feelings for a married milf who was my neighbor after I f**ked her (I was 18 and she was 41) and I got my feelings hurt. We did have a long talk about the whole situation (She's in her THIRD marriage) and I just took it with a grain of salt.cavedweller said:
The crazy thing was we sat in her backyard, on the grass after her family left the house for a while. This became a backyard picnic, literally, and she brought out some wine. Eventually, it looked like a mother giving all her love to her child, complete with soft, sweet talk. Though she slapped my hand for rubbing her nipples and moved it to her hips, she gave me more love than ever as I rested my head on her. Remembering how she scratched me with her red nails, how she kissed my neck and bit it, and the fact she came outside with no bra on, maybe she still has feelings for me. I'll never know, but when she sees me again, she might be divorced and want me to f**k her again.
I just won't catch feelings.
macattack and nismo-4 made the same basic mistake (nismo acknowledged it).
If you're going to have an affair as a man, keep it physical only. There's physical affairs and emotional affairs. Generally speaking, women really want the latter and will do the former only if necessary. Men, likewise, should only want the former and do everything possible to avoid the latter.
Granted, many would say affairs of all types are bad ideas. I don't necessarily disagree. But if you insist, keep them physical only.
Macattack, jophil was right, you could have had sex with her easily. Grown women don't let you sleep with them unless they'd also **** you. Kiss her on the lips, and if you're good at it, that deal is done.
Macattack, I see you're new so dump the being friends with women idea all-together. They're not for that unless you're married to her. If you want a friend, he should have a penis.
MM = married man. MW = married woman
............
Oh yeah, one more thing. I think this goes for Nismo. Single men have no business taking the risks of messing with married women. There's no sense in doing that simply because there are plenty of single women. The risk/reward tradeoff for the single man is a major losing deal.
Affairs are between two married people, or there's at least one idiot involved. Hope that isn't too harsh.
If you're going to have an affair as a man, keep it physical only. There's physical affairs and emotional affairs. Generally speaking, women really want the latter and will do the former only if necessary. Men, likewise, should only want the former and do everything possible to avoid the latter.
Granted, many would say affairs of all types are bad ideas. I don't necessarily disagree. But if you insist, keep them physical only.
Macattack, jophil was right, you could have had sex with her easily. Grown women don't let you sleep with them unless they'd also **** you. Kiss her on the lips, and if you're good at it, that deal is done.
Macattack, I see you're new so dump the being friends with women idea all-together. They're not for that unless you're married to her. If you want a friend, he should have a penis.
MM = married man. MW = married woman
............
Oh yeah, one more thing. I think this goes for Nismo. Single men have no business taking the risks of messing with married women. There's no sense in doing that simply because there are plenty of single women. The risk/reward tradeoff for the single man is a major losing deal.
Affairs are between two married people, or there's at least one idiot involved. Hope that isn't too harsh.
Scaramouche
Master Don Juan
Dear Amoka,
On this MM & MF We are both to be forgiven I thought the M was for Mature!!!!
On this MM & MF We are both to be forgiven I thought the M was for Mature!!!!
amoka
Master Don Juan
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Thanks to Azanon & Scaramouche for the clarification. Now back to OP... think this through..MACATTACK said:
1. You're are married:
2. She is married
3. 1000 miles away
4. A co-worker
5. You think "she has never done this before" implying she never slept with another man, besides her husband of course, in the same hotel room during her "12 years of marriage"....
Now before we can break this down, you MUST reveal your age else this thread will be moved.
kingsam
Master Don Juan
this has trouble written all over it for you
1- you will develop feeling for her
2 - it will get awkward
if you have to ask what to do you are not at a level to manage this well and stay objective...proceed with caution
1- you will develop feeling for her
2 - it will get awkward
if you have to ask what to do you are not at a level to manage this well and stay objective...proceed with caution
nismo-4
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A post that I happily need to break down!
Read betwe- You know the deal.azanon said:
Megaman XIV
Senior Don Juan
If a married woman was getting good love, she wouldn't have to go elsewhere.
sodbuster
Master Don Juan
BS! Some women want strange,some have no control over impulses,etc.etc.etc. You can't always blame the MAN. Some women are NO GOOD. IF a wife doesn't put out for 2 years and he finally cheats,everyone seems to blame the man for infidelity. It was only his fault to the extent that he didn't divorce her 2 years earlier.
Every GF I've had since the divorce was multi-orgasmic,but my wife[most times]seemed to think she was doing me a favor. So was it me? Or maybe her?
An ex FB is back in the picture right now. She cheated on her husband and got divorced. She cheated on him[bf] with me. then she decided to be FB's with me. Eventually found a live in BF[may have been doing us both at the same time-he moved in about a month after we ended]. NOW she wants to do me again-while KEEPING him. She is a nice girl,but I wouldn't say she is a good woman. SO whose fault is it that she runs? Are you going to blame a man or her?
Every GF I've had since the divorce was multi-orgasmic,but my wife[most times]seemed to think she was doing me a favor. So was it me? Or maybe her?
An ex FB is back in the picture right now. She cheated on her husband and got divorced. She cheated on him[bf] with me. then she decided to be FB's with me. Eventually found a live in BF[may have been doing us both at the same time-he moved in about a month after we ended]. NOW she wants to do me again-while KEEPING him. She is a nice girl,but I wouldn't say she is a good woman. SO whose fault is it that she runs? Are you going to blame a man or her?
Megaman XIV
Senior Don Juan
Marriage ends up in divorce most of the time. Women catch feelings for the better deal and will trade up if the current marriage/ relationship is lame.sodbuster said:
Joe Stud
Master Don Juan
MAC: Update??
Didn't know this thread was still active.
No real update...Have not seen MW since the night we spent together. We talk quite frequently. We never bring up the night, which I feel is a good thing. I still plan on making a move. I should have been more agressive the first time but was a complete AFC about it. The relationship is good but I want it to go to the next level. I made some mistakes but that was before I started lurking on this site. I won't make those mistakes again.
I still plan on flirting with other women when with her next time. I feel this is still the best way to bring things forward. We shall see. I will keep you posted.
Late.
No real update...Have not seen MW since the night we spent together. We talk quite frequently. We never bring up the night, which I feel is a good thing. I still plan on making a move. I should have been more agressive the first time but was a complete AFC about it. The relationship is good but I want it to go to the next level. I made some mistakes but that was before I started lurking on this site. I won't make those mistakes again.
I still plan on flirting with other women when with her next time. I feel this is still the best way to bring things forward. We shall see. I will keep you posted.
Late.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Tell your wife everything. If she says she's leaving, point at the door and tell her to use it. If she leaves, then you get what you want, which is to be free. But I suspect she won't, especially because you have not actually cheated on her yet and also have the balls to tell her ahead of time. What will happen is that she will suddenly put ten times as much effort into making you happy. If she had done that all along, then you would not be interested in the other woman. And once again, if she leaves you, then let her. It's better to be an a55hole than a lying cheat.