Mixed Signals

[SoreLoser67]

I have started seeing this new girl. Shes pretty, funny, and well educated. We have gone on about 4 dates thus far, the first two I was more into trying to get to know more about her, and have some good conversations. On our third date, we went and saw a movie..I held her hand, and she seemed to respond well to it, after the movie, she gave me a hug , and I gave her a nice kiss goodnight (being our first), she didnt mind that, and it went really well we both left smiling. Today we hung out again, but there seemed to be nothing, I mean we talked, and had fun...but she didnt hold my hand, and nothing really progressed along as I thought it would have since the previous date. she seems to sort of be holding back, in a way. Im just not too sure where she stands in our situation, Im not sure I wanna ask...cause that might seem weird. should I say something? or just let things go on as usual? where do u think she stands in our situation? thanks. weve know/been dating about a week now, if that might have somethign to do with it? I dunno, its been a long ass time since i had to start dating again, just out of a 4 year relat. so I appreciate any help u can all provide.

 

[alakazam]

What time frame were these 4 dates in?

 

[SoreLoser67]

i guess you could say about every other day over the past week, not all were major dates, persay...2 were just for lunch, one was dinner, and the other was the movie...

 

[alakazam]

I'm just guessing, but maybe she's getting bored.

Make yourself less available and see if that improves her IL.

 

[xiola]

she could also be thinking that things are moving too fast. either way, chill out a bit and see what happens

b

 

[SoreLoser67]

thats kinda what I was thinking...but shes ahs been the one that has initiated most of the meetings/dates? does this make sense?

 

[alakazam]

But you're still always there every time she calls right?

Try to be a little less available.

 

[SoreLoser67]

haha, yea...I see ur point. In this, the "less is more" saying comes into play, no? Ill see what I can to be unavalible to her, I guess I never thought about it that way. Kinda figured her calling Me was a goodthing?

 

[OpenMind]

Her calling you is a good thing, but you answering the phone everytime she calls isnt.....

 

[MIKED777]

I use to date this chick in college who I named ''mixed signals mary''

one night it seemed like she wanted me , the next night she was aloof. So finally after a month of being in limbo , i told her listen I like you and find you attractive if you like me kiss me now or im done with this relationship. she had a shock look on her face , said some girl wishy washy bs like, i dont know if i want to be more then friends, so i just told her to come here and kissed her.



I ended up dating her for 6 months before she turned in jealous psycho stalker girl.

but thats besides the point, the point is if your getting the mixed signals its your duty to take control and make it yay or nay, none of this not knowing limbo ****


take control.....grow a big penis

 

[Mojo604]

Originally posted by MIKED777

take control.....grow a big penis

lol thats sig-worthy.

 

[Donald Kaufman]

I mean we talked, and had fun...but she didnt hold my hand

This isn't a lot to go on but it seems to imply you were waiting for her to hold your hand. You mention that she has been doing most of the initiating as well.

She might feel that she has done most of the work and it is time for you to risk something.

I agree with most of the other posters that you should be a little less available. I also think that your first 4 dates occurring in the same week is a little too much.

Give her a little breathing room and when you do see her be the one to intitiate kino.

If I misinterpretted what is happening ignore my post and go with the others.

I ended up dating her for 6 months before she turned in jealous psycho stalker girl.

Funny how girls who start off weird often end up weird.

 

[SoreLoser67]

yeah, its kinda hard to describe. but I think u all have your points that make sense, I myself was starting tho think that it might be a bit much too soon.

In response, I have been the one initiating the kino, well, pretty much all of it (shes never said anything bad about it, nor ever pulled away, or given me any reason to stop or anything...so i dunno.

I wasnt really waiting for her to take my hand, but she had her hands half in her pockets as we were walking (not like , "im uncomfortable, deep hand pockets, but just like someone would walkin down the street, casual style, make any sense?), and I sorta took that as a sign, maybe I was wrong?

and then there are those who have told me, **** man! maybe she was just having a shatty day. -OR- man, shes a girl...who know why they do anything? she already let u kiss her, and called u up for another date? u must have done something right, lol...this is what I get from all my friends. any substance to it? I was also suggested to just ask her exactly what she wants from our situation, but I dont know if its a good idea to ask a girl that, u know?

 

[tmpgstx]

When a girl 'Hugs' you and you're just getting to know her - it means friend. This should be in the '********' dictionary.

To be honest, don't think you're going to get that far with this one. I'm betting you initiated the kiss after the hug.

 

[SoreLoser67]

not that I disagree with you...but what besides a hug would a woman be giving u when youve just met her and are getting to know her?

 

[ulfur]

there's been 4 dates!

by the 2nd date she's already decided if she'll sleep with you. on top of that you've had 3rd and 4th dates. .. what other signals do you need bud? if she didnt like you, there would BE NO 2nd, 3rd, 4th date!

the ball is in your court - it's up to you to make things happen.

be a man! take charge!

 

[Freeman]

Originally posted by SoreLoser67
I have started seeing this new girl. Shes pretty, funny, and well educated. We have gone on about 4 dates thus far, the first two I was more into trying to get to know more about her, and have some good conversations. On our third date, we went and saw a movie..I held her hand, and she seemed to respond well to it, after the movie, she gave me a hug , and I gave her a nice kiss goodnight (being our first), she didnt mind that, and it went really well we both left smiling. Today we hung out again, but there seemed to be nothing, I mean we talked, and had fun...but she didnt hold my hand, and nothing really progressed along as I thought it would have since the previous date. she seems to sort of be holding back, in a way. Im just not too sure where she stands in our situation, Im not sure I wanna ask...cause that might seem weird. should I say something? or just let things go on as usual? where do u think she stands in our situation? thanks. weve know/been dating about a week now, if that might have somethign to do with it? I dunno, its been a long ass time since i had to start dating again, just out of a 4 year relat. so I appreciate any help u can all provide.

From what I've read I would have to agree with the other guys. If want this girl you better start spicing up the relationship between you two. How would I do that? you may be wondering...Well for me when I like someone there's this automatic electricity I feel everytime I'm around them--So just think about how much you like her and automatically you will come off as more exciting.


BE ENTUSIASTIC!

 

[SoreLoser67]

wow...i have gotten responses from every end of the spectrum. I thank you all for your advice, lol...but I dont know which to go with. i believe that its still early, and that imma give her a few days to herself and then see whats up. ive just had a hard time doing anything exciting or spicing it up cause its so goddamn confusing in the way that I dont know how the heck she feels cause its so diverse.