mixed signals

[bullpupusmc]

Ok, so this isnt the most exciting post, but I have a problem here that's really stressin me out...

So there was this cute chick in math, so a couple weeks ago i ask her "help me study" and we meet up that night and we have a great flirtatious happy time. i leave, of course not showing her how much i like her now. I walk her back from class, and we go out again a couple days later, but her roomate came along and her roomate made the date suck,but still really good eye contact and smiles for me from her! anyways and then the weekend comes, i don't call her. Then the next week comes, about a week after we studied and all of a sudden after class she just leaves, without waiting for me or givng me any signal to talk to her, acting like we dont even know each other...>???!!!!

so anyway, finally the next class, 2 days later (this monday) i stop her and i tried to "get real" i told her that i was interested in her and that i felt things had gotten weird between us, and that i wanted to go out and do something you know just chill with her. She was smiling and said "ok" she told me that she was cool with chillin mon or tues night, so last night i call her and she's not around, she doesn't answer, and she never calls back. Then today, after class she waits for me and tells me that she had a long bio study session until 10pm (which was true) and that then she went to taco bell with her friends nad didn't end up back in her dorm until midnight. This sounded reasonable so now i'm just lost, i had originally just told myself to be a true DJ and just "move on" but now she gave me this reasonable excuse, so i dunno what to do? we had a nice conversation after class today and she stil seems sorta shy but smiling and we still have some sort of vibe goin... I"M OBVIOUSLY Confused lol no girl has ever kept me guessin like this before maybe my desire is just blinding me to the truth? what do you all think?? when should i call her? i wont see her again until monday in class, should i call and ask her to do something tommorow night?

Lost and confused,
Paul

 

[bullpupusmc]

should I just let her call me now? put the ball in her court? she has my number... if she really likes me woudln't she call me by now if id idnt' call her??!!!! lol

Paul

 

[Trapspringer]

Seems like you cracked under pressure and confessed to much too soon. Let the the time spent together give her clues where she might still wonder about your IL and she would have the mixed signals but you can't over do it or crack under pressure with confessions. It can be a tricky balance that is learned through a bit of experience so don't be afarid to lose this one while balancing. Don't let a girl know that you like her too soon. You handed her the upper-hand.



The ball is in her court now. Let her show now if she will remain interested in you. Don't call. Let her call and again, avoid cracking under pressure. She could of just had a bad day and didn't feel like talking that time. Everyone has them. She could have been testing you to see if you would run up behind her after ignoring you. Either way, you should have not shown that you were bothered by it. Only if it was the other way around... hey?

 

[bullpupusmc]

Thanks, you do make a good point, the thing is i realized I was cracking too but i just couldn't stop it. I felt like she would like me less if i just let it continue and didn't say anything. I should've definitely handled it alot more suavely and confidently.

 

[Bobcdn]

Why not take it a step further and use another female to bait her? Spend some time inocently flirting with one of the hot girls in class.

She now knows you like her but you want her to think that shes not your only option.

One that I used in the past was to have one of my close female friends hang off me in front of the "skirt" I was after or even better in front of her best friend!

This tactic worked almost everytime. And my female friend was so cool that she would even do it without me asking. Example; She would see me talking to a "skirt" and just walk over give me a hug and a kiss on the lips say hi and then continue on. The looks on the "skirts" face was always priceless!

But the second part and probably the most important was my reaction. I would just smile and continue talking to the "skirt" like nothing happened- offering no explanation.

If a "skirt" did ask for an explanation I would say "just a friend" and then change the subject.

I think this puts the "skirt" at ease and sees you as a trust worthy man.
Bob.

 

[CyranoDeBergerac]

Trap was right when he said you cracked too soon. Just remember, you should never have to tell a girl you're interested. Your actions should be doing your talking.

Furthermore, she sounds like she's an on-the-go type of gal. She's got a lot of things going on. So do you. This is why you don't run up to her and telll her things seem awkward and that you like her like when she doesn't linger after class for you when you aren't even dating. (and even if you are dating)

Put the ball in her court. Here's exactly what you say.

"Hey, sorry we missed each other. Tell you what, I know this a pretty hectic time for buth of us, but I think you're cool and we should chill sometime. Here's my number. Call me if when things lighten up or you decide to pursue some non-academic activities for a while."

Then walk off and forget all about it. If she calls: gravy. If not: no big loss, you've been using all that time you would've been pining over her to hook up with that hot foreign chick in History class.

-CyranoDeBergerac

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

You didn't do anything that was too devestating, although a bit rash.

Call her again but make definite plans with her - place, time, day etc...and have a few alternatives handy. If she shoots all of them down then you know she is hestating or not interested. Leave the ball in her court and don't call her again.

 

[bullpupusmc]

thanks guys, this is all locked on advice. really opens my eyes to what an idiot i was. it's been awhile since i've been in the scene. ( just got back from marine corps, all guys for 7 months ) so i'm a lil frustrated lately but i've been reading up and i'm gaining my confidence and my manhood back quick.!

thanks again for the feedback

Paul