Mixed Signals

[aceventura74]

Hello everyone,

First time poster, my best friend is an avid member and poster on here and said this forum helped him out with a lot.

I'm a 23 year old male, just finished college up. I was really involved academically, and never really spent too much time with women other than being friends/best friends. Zero relationship experience my entire life. No casual hook ups or anything either.

A few months ago, on June 1, I posted on my college's facebook page some tips about succeeding at that particular school. This cute girl liked my post and we started messaging. She's 19. For the first 2 weeks we just texted 24/7, over 4000 messages, and super lovey/dovey and gooey. She appeared to be all over me, more-so than any girl I've ever met. She asked me out on a date too, which was my first ever, pretty fun we just hung out and walked around holding hands nothing spectacular. About 2 weeks after our date, out of nowhere, she kinda stopped talking to me, we'd maybe text 1-4 times per day, compared to the 400-500 we used to do. I kinda got ticked at her and texted her accusing her of dating other guys and not wanting to see me, she got pissed. Fast forward to August 1, we start talking again, but like casually and rarely. Out of nowhere, at the end of August I feel like she's coming back onto me, and she gets really into texting me when I shoot her a simple "hey." She actually called me up after I just sent her a text to just talk, like we used to when we first met.

Not sure what to make of this situation. Does she like me again or just want my attention? Is it true maybe I was a jerk and should've understood she had extraneous responsibilities all summer can couldn't waste time with me? Or is she just missing the friendship we had?

 

[yungballa]

First things first--if the girls stops texting you out of the blue, let her. Try to text her again, and if she doesn't respond, simply back off and leave her alone. Don't be mad, don't be angered, sad, or anything. Just laugh it off and don't take it too seriously. Just simply find another girl.

I recommend reading the DJ bible. It'll teach you a lot. Take whatever you can from this site that'll help you and apply it to real life. I wish you the best of luck.

Also, you're gonna come off as needy and insecure if you show you're mad that she's not texting you and you're accusing her of texting other guys (which most likely, maybe she was. Women just talk to a multitude of guys, not just one) And if you act needy and insecure, she won't be attracted to you at all my friend. It's very unattractive.

Also, I'd like to think there's nothing such as mixed signals. She's into you or she's not. Do you think she would be beating around the bush, dancing all around and throwing "mixed signals" if she was honestly into you? Something to think about.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

You didn't make a move fast enough. That's your problem. Also try to remember, your problem is only one out of 1000000000 that have been posted here throughout the years, try to read before posting. Read, read, read. You will learn a lot.

See that little text on the bottom left of the page? It reads 'DJ Bible'. Click it and read some stuff from it. Read the Book of Pook too. It's a compilation of almost all the posts of one of (if not the) the greatest members/posters to ever be on this website.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

You didn't make a move fast enough. That's your problem. Also try to remember, your problem is only one out of 1000000000 that have been posted here throughout the years, try to read before posting. Read, read, read. You will learn a lot.

See that little text on the bottom left of the page? It reads 'DJ Bible'. Click it and read some stuff from it. Read the Book of Pook too. It's a compilation of almost all the posts of one of (if not the) the greatest members/posters to ever be on this website.

 

[aceventura74]

Thanks for all the great advice. I should've clarified. After our first date (it was on a Monday), we carried on our usual texting and messing around. I asked her a few days later (around wednesday or thursday) if she'd like to meet up again next week or some other time, she said she was busy. Fast forward to NEXT wednesday-thursday (so 10 days after our first day) and I asked her out again and she said she's still busy.

I know it might come off as sounding like she was trying to hint she wasn't into me, but given the deep emotion and private texts we spent from when we first met (via facebook) I kind of believed that she was busy and that she wasn't trying to push me down. In fact, she said it was a "family thing she didn't feel comfortable telling me about" so I didn't really wanna push her to tell me what was happening, I'd feel like a complete ass if she like told me someone was like dying and she spent all summer in the hospital with that relative (as an example).

At this point what should I do though? I text her maybe 1-2 per week (I try to limit it/control myself) and she's been responding crazy fast and did want to get together again. The thing is I don't want to be a fool and hang out with her, grab her hand and her be like "what are you doing" and realize she totally wants to be friends.

The issue is when I asked her how she felt how she felt directly about me (beginning of August), she was still busy with her family and told me she has never been in a relationship and wasn't asking for one when it all began (despite her repeatedly telling me so when we first spoke in June) and that she really likes keeping me as a friend. Only cause of our recent texts and her initiating phone calls to me have I been a little confused.

 

[Trump]

This cute girl liked my post and we started messaging. She's 19. For the first 2 weeks we just texted 24/7, over 4000 messages, and super lovey/dovey and gooey. She appeared to be all over me, more-so than any girl I've ever met.

4000/14 days = about 300 messages per day. Considering you sleep for 8 hours a day and do other stuff for 2 hours a day, being generous. That would mean 20 texts per hour, a text every 3 minutes.

So for 2 straight weeks you are texting back and forth with a girl who "liked" a post you made every 3 minutes. Ouch

She asked me out on a date too, which was my first ever, pretty fun we just hung out and walked around holding hands nothing spectacular. About 2 weeks after our date, out of nowhere, she kinda stopped talking to me, we'd maybe text 1-4 times per day, compared to the 400-500 we used to do. I kinda got ticked at her and texted her accusing her of dating other guys and not wanting to see me, she got pissed.

LOL. Come on bro, need validation much? "How dare you not see me. I'm a man who will go to war and fight a bear with bare hands, but I need constant validation and love from you!"

Not sure what to make of this situation. Does she like me again or just want my attention? Is it true maybe I was a jerk and should've understood she had extraneous responsibilities all summer can couldn't waste time with me? Or is she just missing the friendship we had?

You say "hey, lets go on a date." You try to kiss her on the date, if she kisses you back, you got an answer. If she doesn't, she is telling you to go to hell, she just wants a friend.

You guys get into, take exams, and finish college. One teenage girl doesn't text you 100 times a day, and your head spins. I'm so proud of what our colleges teach. :trouble:

 

[pyros]

just for the record:

her 'family issues' during the summer means with 90% chance ---> seing some guy.


OP is so naive...lmao.

 

[Infern0]

just for the record:

her 'family issues' during the summer means with 90% chance ---> seing some guy.


OP is so naive...lmao.

No need to kick him while he's down.

Yes he was naive but he's here to learn.

OP, learn the fundementals, you are like i used to be, no game. none.

fix it up or this sort of thing will happen ad nauseum.

 

[Reykhel]

Some thoughts:

-Girls with high interest level won't send you mixed signals

-If you spend too long speaking via social media or texting you run the danger of becoming a virtual entity to her. You're not real, just a cute little virtual entitiy that validates her from time to time. Why would she want to risk giving that up?

-View the phone/texting etc for what it is: A TIME BRIDGE. Keep pushing for the next meet/hook up

-All of your interactions on the phone/texting should be: are you free tomorrow/tonight? If she asks questions: answer vaguely and push for the meet again.

-what Trump said: You say "hey, lets go on a date." You try to kiss her on the date, if she kisses you back, you got an answer. If she doesn't, she is telling you to go to hell, she just wants a friend.

 

[RangerMIke]

This is what women do... they'll drift off and come back. I think it is subconscious testing... they don't realize they are doing this. They just one day decide they don't "feel" like responding to you... nothing personal... but if you start acting like a needy stalker and start blowing up her phone. You're done.

Best way to hang this is to keep living your life and ignore it. If and when she contacts you again.... And if she likes you she will, then act on it.

 

[aceventura74]

just for the record:

her 'family issues' during the summer means with 90% chance ---> seing some guy.


OP is so naive...lmao.

No need to be so harsh. But yeah, I guess I was naive.

 

[NSX-R]

Dafuq dude you know the girl so long and you have been only in 1 date with her? And since you haven't been in a relationship why would you get mad that she might was seeing another guy? She's single why would she not do that, she gave you a chance to get her and you almost thrown it away.
So you were texting each other so much ,at least was the conversation sexual or you were talking about random things? If it was the 2nd then i have bad news.

There are no mixed signals, it's either she likes you or not. If a girl wants something she will do everything to take it.

Anyway you lack experience and fortunately for you this is what this place is for.Read the Djbible and adapt what you read into your life. What you are reading is based on the experience of the people around here . Don't try to be a different person but try to be the best version of yourself and the djbible is gonna help you.

 

[aceventura74]

Some thoughts:

-Girls with high interest level won't send you mixed signals

-If you spend too long speaking via social media or texting you run the danger of becoming a virtual entity to her. You're not real, just a cute little virtual entitiy that validates her from time to time. Why would she want to risk giving that up?

-View the phone/texting etc for what it is: A TIME BRIDGE. Keep pushing for the next meet/hook up

-All of your interactions on the phone/texting should be: are you free tomorrow/tonight? If she asks questions: answer vaguely and push for the meet again.

-what Trump said: You say "hey, lets go on a date." You try to kiss her on the date, if she kisses you back, you got an answer. If she doesn't, she is telling you to go to hell, she just wants a friend.

Every time I asked her out she said she was super busy with this family stuff, and I actually kind of believed her because she kind of hinted at a family stress that she had to deal with, and then she started working full time 40 hrs/week from July 1 - end of August. The other night when we texted I figured it was just casual to keep our "friendship" going, but when she called me out of the blue kind of through me off. My own conjecture was she was maybe her family situation was settling down and the last time we brought up feelings/relationships/dates she blatantly told me she wasn't to be friends and wasn't looking for a relationship (mainly because I was way to clingy/needy [as per the DJ Bible]) and maybe now she wants to pick up from our first date?

Dafuq dude you know the girl so long and you have been only in 1 date with her? And since you haven't been in a relationship why would you get mad that she might was seeing another guy? She's single why would she not do that, she gave you a chance to get her and you almost thrown it away.
So you were texting each other so much ,at least was the conversation sexual or you were talking about random things? If it was the 2nd then i have bad news.

There are no mixed signals, it's either she likes you or not. If a girl wants something she will do everything to take it.

Anyway you lack experience and fortunately for you this is what this place is for.Read the Djbible and adapt what you read into your life. What you are reading is based on the experience of the people around here . Don't try to be a different person but try to be the best version of yourself and the djbible is gonna help you.

I was really insulted not because she was seeing other guys at all, I completely agree we had one date at best, and so there was no requirements for commitment. What ticked me off was she begged me not to see any other women and just really talk to her/be with her. Our text messages were very intense on the relationship end, not just random stuff. I was pissed cause I'm sitting here waiting and she's out with some other dudes when she practically begged me to be alone.

 

[NSX-R]

I was really insulted not because she was seeing other guys at all, I completely agree we had one date at best, and so there was no requirements for commitment. What ticked me off was she begged me not to see any other women and just really talk to her/be with her. Our text messages were very intense on the relationship end, not just random stuff. I was pissed cause I'm sitting here waiting and she's out with some other dudes when she practically begged me to be alone.

That was a trap that every girl sets to make you exclusive to her . Never allow to anyone and more specific a girl to tell you what to do. It's your life, you are the man , you should set the rules. If she wants you, she follows you otherwise she knows where the door is.

Two things.

1: Stay away from this chick, she seems mentally unstable and she's going to cause you only problems.
2: Read the dj bible and use the knowledge to get more girls. The more girls you have, you care less , so your feelings won't get hurt.

Set the rules and watch the others follow you.

 

[aceventura74]

That was a trap that every girl sets to make you exclusive to her . Never allow to anyone and more specific a girl to tell you what to do. It's your life, you are the man , you should set the rules. If she wants you, she follows you otherwise she knows where the door is.

Two things.

1: Stay away from this chick, she seems mentally unstable and she's going to cause you only problems.
2: Read the dj bible and use the knowledge to get more girls. The more girls you have, you care less , so your feelings won't get hurt.

Set the rules and watch the others follow you.

I know it sounds a little late, but this kind of was my first serious interaction with a girl with, what I thought were prospective signs for a relationship. I didn't realize its a thing all girls do, to make a man exclusively theirs.

LMAO, your first point is so funny, nearly all of my friends, guys and girls, have all told me to stay away from her cause she seems nuts and is just more trouble than she's worth.

 

[aceventura74]

Assuming she wasn't leading me on (I just don't think she was because she did seem invested, but just a little less involved since she got involved with family and then work), what is the next step?

I limit texting her, and if I do its usually terse/quick texts, and not instant replies to her texts, and I rarely initiate. I'm just kind of thinking/hoping she's been texting and calling me again because she's into me again.

Thoughts?

 

[pyros]

she's texting you again cause she's probably bored and the guy/s she likes are not in the picture now for whatever reason.

Read about the A guy at therationalmale.com

You're probably the C guy in this case.


No more steps needed. If she texts you and you have nothing to do answer her but keep in mind that she's not gonna fvck you, so STOP THINKING AND SPENDING ENERGY on this girl.

She has rejected you several times already. Her 'problems' are just an excuse. She's stringin you along cause this is what the majority of women do to naive/beta guys.

Whereas she's texting and keeping you 'there', she's also going out with her girl friends and having fun and meeting/banging/having dates with other dudes she finds more appealing.
If you dont believe it...well, just wait some more time until it is crystal clear that she's not into you.

 

[RangerMIke]

Here's what you do. When she texts you on calls you don't do anything g or say anything g except try to make a date.

Her: Hey... how's it going?

You: Great, would love to see you and tell you about it. I'm free for drinks tomorrow night will pick you up at 5pm for happy hour.

If she does not answer you back right away she is just using you for an emotional boost. Just don't respond to her anymore. The reason she's not responding to you is because she has low interest and she's getting validation for some AFC that thinks he has a shot.

If she responds and declines, you're a backup plan. Just walk away don't even respond to her decline.

Anything else she is interested and you have a shot.

 

[RangerMIke]

The bottom line here guys is that there is no such thing as mixed signals. If you are getting 'mixed signals' then you have a woman that really doesn't want you bad enough to try.

Women who like you will make things easy for you, or she playing stupid games... which indicates she is not authentic, or she's carrying too much fvcking baggage that you are going to have to deal with.

I've said it before on a number of threads... if a woman is not willing to make any effort towards you she is either not interested in you or she's a mess and will give you nothing but trouble.

 

[moreawakethanu]

Forget mixed signals. Stay home and read the Rational Male.