Mixed message/what do i do? Need to know before 1/26! Help me ASAP

[AlexLefty]

1/25/09

Ok, so there's this girl Jen, I got her number on thursday and I just called her today. So basically over the convo on thursday, she asked for my number first, but then I kind of switched it a little so she gave hers to me. The convo on Thursday is at the bottom of the page if you want to read it.
So this is how the convo on the phone went today.

me > 'Jen'

her > After a couple of seconds, 'Oh hey! wow i didn't expect you to call me!'

me > 'Hey its alex, haha why didn't you expect me to call?'

her > 'I don't know, i just didn't really'

me > 'Haha ok..so did you do any sledding over the weekend? (going back to something we talked about on the first convo, i said i'd call her about sledding over the weekend)'

her > 'haha no!! there wasn't really enough snow'\

me > 'Oh yeah i know what you mean..hey so, what are you doing tomorrow?'

her > 'Oh nothing really why?'

me > 'Well, i was thinking me and you could go see a movie after school tomorrow'

her > 'oh yeah that'd be great'

The convo lasted for a few more minutes but I can't really remember the rest. The gist of it was that she was wondering which movie we would see but didn't have internet n stuff, so i said i would look them up and call her back. Then i looked up the movies and times, but figured it would be better to tell her that my internet was down too and we should just wing it. I called her back about 30 min later. She then said her sister lives a couple of houses down and has internet, and that she could go look them up soon, but her and her friend were being lazy, and she'd call me back when she did.

So then yeah, it's been about 1 1/2 hour and i've been talking a nap for about an hour and she hasn't called back yet. I know i shouldn't call her but it's getting pretty late and what happens if she doesn't call n stuff. So what should i do? Need to know within the hour haha thanks.

----------------------------------------------------------------


Here is the convo from thursday and how I got her number
(read if your super generous in helping me, but my question is above)

me > I walked near her, made eye contact, approached, put my hand on her shoulder and said: "Hey Jen, what's going on"
her > "Hey, not too much, what about you?
me > (I planned on saying, "not too much, but i was just noticing that your hair looks really nice today") I actually said: "Not a lot, so your switching out of english huh?"
her > "Oh yeah, haha, going to an easier class"
me > "ah man, yeah why are you doing that?"
her >"ha didn't you hear in class, so i can graduate early!"
me >"oh yeah! well now when are we ever going to see each other haha"
her >"yeah, its not like english last year"
me >"yeah i know, those were the good days, when we actually used to talk"
her >"haha yeah i know, this year its mostly cause of the seating arrangements, and you sit over with that clump of your friends"

skipping some random small talkish stuff like above

her > she gets a call on her phone and says "One sec" she talks on the phone and I over hear her and learn that one of her friends is in her car across the street and offers he a ride, (Fukk..) but, she says "No its ok, I like taking tracks anyways" etc. she hangs up
me > "oh was that your mom?"
her > "haha yeah, like she would just drive off and let me take tracks"

Blah blah blah so the train comes like 1 minute later and we get on, on this is where it actually gets ok

her > "so you take sandy (train)"
me > "oh yeah, i live in sugar house, so i go to 21hundred south and then get a ride"
her > "oh that's cool"
me > "yeah so where do you live"
her > "says where she lives and that she has to take a buss and walk after the train etc. she then says, so you live in sugar house?"
me > "yeah haha its great, i live right next to the big hill in the park, its perfect in the winter time"
her > "ooh yeah!! i love that hill!!! do you ever go sleding?"
me > "yeah of course! its only the best place to go. what about you, do you like sledding?"
her > "yeah i love it! i used to go on that hill all the time, but i havn't been in a while, is there snow on it?"
me > "i havn't checked in a couple days but it just snowed the other day, so there should be for sure"
her > "haha what!! it never snowed"
me >"haha yeah are you kidding me, or it did in sugar house atleast"
her >"oh well not down here i guess"
me >"yeah so the hill should be packed with snow, we should go sometime"
her >"haha yeah for sure!"
me > "well, what are you doing this weekend"
her > "yeah, sounds fun! do you have a phone?"
me > "yeah of course"
her > "well can i have your number"
me > "yeah well here, let me just get you number so i can call you this weekend and tell you how the snow is"
her > "ok its, blah blah balh, let me see your phone so i can spell me name right"
me > "haha I know how to spell your name!" she says: "well how" I say: "here, i'll bet you 5 imaginary bucks that I spell it right, (do handshake for kino)"
me > "well, lets see, pretty smile, beautiful hair, it must start with a J" i then spell out the rest of her name etc. and get it right.
her > "haha yeah you actually got it right!"
me > "haha yeah, im a beast, and you owe me 5 imaginary dollars."
her > "haha ill get on that"
me > "but so yeah, I'll just give you a call this weekend then and we can go sledding"
her > "ok, well..what is today? The dance is next friday right? I dont know, I might have to do something this friday but i forgot, haha.
me > "oh alright, so you like to dance? I never see you at any of the dances or at studios (a club)"
her > "oh yeah well I went to the dance a while ago, on new years, but i havn't been to one since"

After this, kind of talk a little bit more about dancing, and I tell her that I didn't go to the new years dance because I was in San Diego because my mom lives there and then we get talking about our familys etc. But we also talked about a lot of other stuff and there's too much to write down, but for that much, how did I do?

 

[AlexLefty]

Uhh....ok first of all, im really shocked by this forum and community...i plead out a cry for help and not a single comment to help me out...not even so much as 20 people even looked at this post...glad to know your all reliable

not that it matters because obviously no one will even look at this but..

the chick hasn't called me back
not sure what this means, the movie plan is off for tomorrow?
how do i approach this and her tomorrow, should i call her after school or let it slide and maybe call her on thursday or Friday or completley next her

 

[thedoc]

I'll be completely honest: I think she's going to flake.

This is coming completely from experience; one of the first numbers I got was really similar to this. Even on the phone, she sounded sooo happy and excited about hanging out with me and twice cancelled and once just didn't show up. Yeah it really sucked lol.

But, it's definitely not over yet, especially if she shows up. What I highly suggest you do, is either before the movie or after, go somewhere to eat and talk- and be FUNNY AND ****Y!!! From what you posted here you seemed mad boring!!.

Whatever happens be sure to post an update .

EDIT:
Lol relax it's been 2 hours since you posted, we don't live on this forum...
Don't call her or even contact her, just go about your normal business which should probably be to sleep lmao. If you see her, just say hi, try to be funny, and don't mention the movie. Trust me, she remembers.

 

[AlexLefty]

alright haah gotta work the funny/****y stuff a little bit i guess then. It's just like for the first conversation, was really nothing to be funny/****y about since we didn't have any background info on eachother and I guess I was just trying to learn about her....but gotta work on it

and i was getting the same vibe as you that she was def going to flake

but my main question still is how do i approach her tomorrow? do i just call her after school and say, 'so we still on for the movies?' i don't want to seem desperate either so do i wait for her to call me and if she doesn't then next her?
or what would be the best approach here?

and thanks for actually replying

EDIT: Yeah sorry bout the over reaction, just stressed a little with this and 3 hours of home work still in front of me. The only problem is I 99% won't see her at school tomorrow because we have no classes and I have never seen her on a B day. So again, do I not contact her at all, even after school if I havn't seen her during the day?

 

[thedoc]

You have no reason to contact her unless you haven't worked out the exact details (time/movie). In that case, she has the upper edge on you. Still, in the event that you do see her, don't mention the date. Just show her your great personality and make her want to be with you. In this case you should CALL her, because flaking by text is a lot easier than through a real conversation.

 

[Igetit!]

Uhh....ok first of all, im really shocked by this forum and community...i plead out a cry for help and not a single comment to help me out...not even so much as 20 people even looked at this post...glad to know your all reliable

This is the HIGH SCHOOL FORUM.

Maybe the reason you haven't gotten any replies was because some of the high schoolers either didn't have the knowledge or experience to help you out.

Here's a novel idea:Maybe they're all in bed because they have to go to school tomorrow? You ever think about that?


Look,her interest in you is low. It's really that simple.

And why wouldn't it be? You screwed up a little in the beginning.


For one,when you ask a girl out,you need to ALREADY have the plans set and in mind. All she should have to do is join you.


You asked her out,then had her running down the street to get on the internet to gather information for the idea that YOU CAME UP WITH.



If it's your idea,then you should already have all the details worked out.


I don't know what you were thinking putting the responsibility of getting the plans together on her. You know how unreliable women are.

If she didn't even bother to call you back,do you think she bothered to look up the information for the movies you planned to see?

the chick hasn't called me back
not sure what this means, the movie plan is off for tomorrow?
how do i approach this and her tomorrow, should i call her after school or let it slide and maybe call her on thursday or Friday or completley next her

Her interest is low,but I say not to give up just yet.

NOW LISTEN...


The next time you try to set up a date with her,HAVE THE PLANS ALREADY WORKED OUT.

Also,you need to be more agressive. You need to stir up her emotions some.


You asked her to the movies. You know how "cliche" that sounds,how run of the mill,how boring?


If you see her tomorrow,talk to her. Be like,"Hey,so what's up? I never heard back from you yesterday". She'll say whatever she's going to say,then you come back at her with something like,"Well never mind. Forget the movies. I have something MUCH BETTER in mind".


If she ask what,don't tell her. Be like,"Nope,nope,I don't want to ruin the surprise. I already got everything worked out. All you have to do is just get yourself pretty FOR ME. Everything else is already covered".


Now,the emotion created in her is suspense,anticipation. She'll be looking forward to whatever it is you have planned. Plus,she'll feel some attraction for you because....

1)You showed her that you're a MAN by taking charge of the situation and getting things done,and...

2)By telling her to look "pretty" for you,you DHV'ed,you showed her that you have value,and that she'll have to put some work into her appearance in order to please you.

After you say these things to her,tell her that you'll CALL HER later to let her know what the plans are.


This means you have to take some time to yourself and come up with a plan that the two of you well enjoy doing. And whatever it is,make sure that plans are all finalized BEFORE you call and tell her.


Good luck man.

 

[AlexLefty]

alright alright i see what your saying

just that it's not an "if" i see her tomorrow, because i won't, unless i contact her

so, should i contact her after school or wait until i will see her which will probably be on wensday because we have english together, although she said she was switching out of it, but she was there today, so i don't know when she's leaving

suppose i do see her whenever i see her, i say what you say, and then my actual plans are? things that come to me off the top of my head are bowling, she said she likes to ice skate so ice skating but I'm horrible at it like so bad I'm not even sure its a good chance for kino because last time i tried it wasn't even fun because i was so bad, umm and maybe doing this on friday because later that night our school has a dance or we could go to a club.
thanks for the advice dude

 

[Igetit!]

alright alright i see what your saying

just that it's not an "if" i see her tomorrow, because i won't, unless i contact her

so, should i contact her after school or wait until i will see her which will probably be on wensday because we have english together,

Don't wait until Wednesday,call her up tomorrow after school.

Call her around the same time you called her tonight.


You're going to have to come up type of interesting conversation if you do call her,though. Whatever you come up with,make sure you put some emotion into your voice WHILE YOU SPEAK to her. Not during the whole convo,but just every now and then. The emotion will infect her,then it'll get her talking and take some of the burden off you.

suppose i do see her whenever i see her, i say what you say, and then my actual plans are?

Don't you have a mind of your own? We can't hold your hand dude. Suppose we do come up with a plan for the date,what,do we have to go pick her up too?

Use that brain and come up with something.

things that come to me off the top of my head are bowling,

Well fine...bowling it is. Bowling,a walk in the park,window shopping in the mall,whatever,it doesn't matter.


You don't understand. The "date" is YOU.

YOU ARE the date. It's the two people involved,not the activity you do.


If she doesn't like you,it won't matter WHAT YOU DO or WHERE YOU TAKE HER.



You goal is to make her like YOU. You can be bored stiff at the movies,or have the time of your life bowling,it's the person your with that makes it fun,not the activity itself.

So make sure you express that fun,energetic side of yourself WHEN YOU CALL OR SEE HER again.


Just tell her to forget about the movies,and do something else,but THIS TIME have the plans already made.

 

[AlexLefty]

So as you may assume she never called haha
I did catch a glimpse of her however as school ended
I was walking through the halls, heading for the south lawn when i noticed her walking in my direction, i didn't really try to get her attention as she basically walked right past me, kind of covering up her face with one hand and giving me a slight smile.
About a half an hour later i'm standing outside of my school with some friends and we're about to go to trax, my phone rings, and surprisingly it's her calling me
I choose to ignore the call however because i was trying to gain the upper hand again, so to speak, and i was figuring she even called me because she felt sorry for poor old me
As i was heading towards the trax, i kind of spun around to look at the school and i think i saw her looking at my from one of the windows, but i continued to go to trax

Kind of confusing right? Well, at least for me it is

However, plan still remains to call her in a lil while and say the above plan. And I decided we'll go bowling on friday, so i'll call her on thursday aswell to let her know. And yes i have checked everything out, I even went up there to check availability/prices and to make sure i knew how to get there.

Thanks for all your help guys

 

[CarlitosWay]

So as you may assume she never called haha
I did catch a glimpse of her however as school ended
I was walking through the halls, heading for the south lawn when i noticed her walking in my direction, i didn't really try to get her attention as she basically walked right past me, kind of covering up her face with one hand and giving me a slight smile.
About a half an hour later i'm standing outside of my school with some friends and we're about to go to trax, my phone rings, and surprisingly it's her calling me
I choose to ignore the call however because i was trying to gain the upper hand again, so to speak, and i was figuring she even called me because she felt sorry for poor old me
As i was heading towards the trax, i kind of spun around to look at the school and i think i saw her looking at my from one of the windows, but i continued to go to trax

Kind of confusing right? Well, at least for me it is

However, plan still remains to call her in a lil while and say the above plan. And I decided we'll go bowling on friday, so i'll call her on thursday aswell to let her know. And yes i have checked everything out, I even went up there to check availability/prices and to make sure i knew how to get there.

Thanks for all your help guys

Igetit! is your savior lol. Sounds like you have it figured out. Another thing you can do when you get to the bowling place is nudge her some and start joking about how you're gonna whoop her ass at bowling. Make it a competition. Kind of stupid but I remember going out with a chic bowling and I faked a hilarious fall. Chic said she had never laughed that hard in the longest time. I show her I was a bad ass dude that likes to have fun didn't take things to seriously and who was sexually charged. She didn't make a fun eventful night I DID and she just was along for the ride!!!

 

[AlexLefty]

oooohhh boyyy..i called her and damn did i screw it up
here's the play by play of the convo:
me > 'Hey Jen what's going on'
her > 'hi' (kind of freaked here, just hi...uh ok)
me > 'hey so what's up, i never heard from you the other day'
her > 'oh yeah well, didn't i try to call you?' (im thinking wtf..how the hell am i supposed to know, obviously you didn't..)
me > 'yeah, well i never got a call so..'
her > 'oh well i did and tried calling you today and saw you' (basically whole time shes talking has a kind of weird tone, im like wtf..is she having an orgasm or something or did she just wake up or what?)
me > (not sure what to say) oh yeah, i saw you too but.. (at a loss for words, i just try to avoid it)
me > 'well never mind about the movies, because i've got something much better planed'
her > 'what is it'
me > 'oh no no no i don't want to ruin the surprise'
her > 'your funny' (in a kind of sarcastic tone, fvck! pretty sure that's a bad thing)
me > 'yeah so everything's all planned out and all you have to do is get ready (why couldn't i say be pretty for me!!!!!!!) and every thing else is all covered'
her > 'ok so when are we doing this' (couldn't remember exact words, but something like that)
me > 'well i'll call you within the next couple of days and tell you what's up'
her > ' ok'
me > 'alright, i'll talk to you later'
her > 'bye' me >'seya

GGODDDD!! I give myself a 3 out of 10 for simply picking up the phone.

So i guess the plan is to just call her on thursdsay, tell her to meet me at the trax, a couple streets down from my school, and tell her what we're doing then, and take tracks up there.

Haha, what a nightmare, oh well. Tips? Criticism (i know there's a lot)?

EDIT: Also what do i do when i see her in class tomorrow (i most likely will) though i never get to talk to her during class due to seating arrangements etc. should i just approach her after class and talk about normal stuff/not the bowling or not at all?

thanks guys

 

[Recon]

You didn't listen to Igetit! completely, You should have told her when you guys were going to meet. There was no need for another call, and dude girls in HS (It's only been a year since I was there) find it extremely weird when they talk to a guy on the phone/im/texting and then IN PERSON he says nothing. So try and talk to her if you see her again.

I don't have much else to say because I am in no way an expert in relationships. Hopefully, Igetit! will bestow some of his knowledge on you. I always read his responses just because they are so informative.

Look up his post history, you'll learn alot.

 

[CarlitosWay]

oooohhh boyyy..i called her and damn did i screw it up
here's the play by play of the convo:
me > 'Hey Jen what's going on'
her > 'hi' (kind of freaked here, just hi...uh ok)
me > 'hey so what's up, i never heard from you the other day'
her > 'oh yeah well, didn't i try to call you?' (im thinking wtf..how the hell am i supposed to know, obviously you didn't..)
me > 'yeah, well i never got a call so..'
her > 'oh well i did and tried calling you today and saw you' (basically whole time shes talking has a kind of weird tone, im like wtf..is she having an orgasm or something or did she just wake up or what?)
me > (not sure what to say) oh yeah, i saw you too but.. (at a loss for words, i just try to avoid it)
me > 'well never mind about the movies, because i've got something much better planed'
her > 'what is it'
me > 'oh no no no i don't want to ruin the surprise'
her > 'your funny' (in a kind of sarcastic tone, fvck! pretty sure that's a bad thing)
me > 'yeah so everything's all planned out and all you have to do is get ready (why couldn't i say be pretty for me!!!!!!!) and every thing else is all covered'
her > 'ok so when are we doing this' (couldn't remember exact words, but something like that)
me > 'well i'll call you within the next couple of days and tell you what's up'
her > ' ok'
me > 'alright, i'll talk to you later'
her > 'bye' me >'seya

GGODDDD!! I give myself a 3 out of 10 for simply picking up the phone.

So i guess the plan is to just call her on thursdsay, tell her to meet me at the trax, a couple streets down from my school, and tell her what we're doing then, and take tracks up there.

Haha, what a nightmare, oh well. Tips? Criticism (i know there's a lot)?

EDIT: Also what do i do when i see her in class tomorrow (i most likely will) though i never get to talk to her during class due to seating arrangements etc. should i just approach her after class and talk about normal stuff/not the bowling or not at all?

thanks guys

You're getting worked up over nothing. Letting whatever you just "assume" get to you. She sounds like she's down to give you a shot....none of us were in the room when you had the convo...so who knows maybe you sounded nervous/awkward as hell. Especially sense all this stuff is relatively new to you. Trial and error my friend, take each convo/interaction as a stepping stone to a better you.

At school just play it cool. Enjoy your friends and what not like any other day. Just chit chat/joke to her about other stuff...(give her a nice big hug/if she's pretty comfortable with you) last thing you want to do is come off desperate (e.g. constantly talking about the date or this or that)

 

[Igetit!]

oooohhh boyyy..i called her and damn did i screw it up

You'll have to forgive me,but I don't see where you "screwed up" at.

I mean you seemed a bit nervous,but other than that,I think you did ok.

here's the play by play of the convo:
me > 'Hey Jen what's going on'
her > 'hi' (kind of freaked here, just hi...uh ok)
me > 'hey so what's up, i never heard from you the other day'
her > 'oh yeah well, didn't i try to call you?' (im thinking wtf..how the hell am i supposed to know, obviously you didn't..)
me > 'yeah, well i never got a call so..'
her > 'oh well i did and tried calling you today and saw you' (basically whole time shes talking has a kind of weird tone, im like wtf..is she having an orgasm or something or did she just wake up or what?)
me > (not sure what to say) oh yeah, i saw you too but.. (at a loss for words, i just try to avoid it)
me > 'well never mind about the movies, because i've got something much better planed'
her > 'what is it'
me > 'oh no no no i don't want to ruin the surprise'
her > 'your funny' (in a kind of sarcastic tone, fvck! pretty sure that's a bad thing)
me > 'yeah so everything's all planned out and all you have to do is get ready (why couldn't i say be pretty for me!!!!!!!) and every thing else is all covered'

Alright,I have a question here.

You said that you couldn't tell her to "get pretty" for you.

Uhh...why not? Look dude,you better stop relying on being "nice" and throw some kind of romantic/sexuality into your conversation with this girl,or you're friendzone bound.

Dates are supposed to be romantic. So why are you afraid to make a romantic comment? If you do take her out,you would like there to be some kind of slight physical/sexual contact,such as handholding,hugging,or kissing,right?

Well think about it. If you can't even tell a girl to "get pretty" for you,you think you're going to kiss her?


If you can't even talk romance,what makes you think you'll be able to do anything romantic?


You have to say something to get her to see you in a romantic light.


I didn't tell you to do or say anything vulgar,I just told you to tell her to get pretty for you. You mean you're uncomfortable even doing that?


What did you think would happen? You think she'd be offended? You're wrong man. You might as well do it. If you don't,she'll just tell you she wants to be friends,while she goes out and find a guy who's cool and confident,and TELLS HER what he wants from her.


You need to stop trembling and be a MAN.


You might say,"Well what if I lose her?" You know what I say to that? So. So what? You think she's the only girl in the world? And besides,you won't lose her over telling her to get "pretty" for you.


If something that simple makes her want to leave you,then you never had her in the first place.

her > 'ok so when are we doing this' (couldn't remember exact words, but something like that)
me > 'well i'll call you within the next couple of days and tell you what's up'
her > ' ok'
me > 'alright, i'll talk to you later'
her > 'bye' me >'seya

You conversation was ok,but it lacked any emotion. This is the second time I've said this,but I guess I'll just have to continue saying it until you get it.

I don't like that statement of hers where she said,"So when are we doing this?". She made it sound like a chore,like something she doesn't really want to do,but she's doing it just to get it over with.

You shouldn't have cancelled out that "pretty" comment.

You were too straight to the point. There was no flirting,or teasing,or busting on her. This is going to sound nuts,but you'd probably be better off calling her and CANCELLING THE DATE. At least that would shake her and stir up her feelings. Don't do that,though,I was just saying.

So i guess the plan is to just call her on thursdsay, tell her to meet me at the trax, a couple streets down from my school, and tell her what we're doing then, and take tracks up there.

Haha, what a nightmare, oh well. Tips? Criticism (i know there's a lot)?

I'll leave the criticizing to someone else (this time).

All I have to say is that the next time you call or speak to her,you better say SOMETHING to stir up her emotions,or there's a good chance she'll either flake on you,or if she does go on the date with you,she won't want a second one. It'll be like,"Ok,I went out with him like I said I would. I did my duty,so now I'm finished".


And that's not what you want. You want her to be excited and looking forward to seeing you.


The way you're acting and behaving now is a PREVIEW to how you'll be on the date. If you're dull now,she won't look forward to the date.


If you put some spark into your conversation with her now,she'll look forward to the sparks in person with you on the date.



So STOP BEING SCARED and throw some type of romantic language in your next convo with her,and do it SOON. If you don't hurry up and do this,she'll get used to you NOT BEING ROMANTIC.


The once she gets used to you not being romantic,if you try to say something romantic,it'll make her uncomfortable.

At that point,you're friendzoned.


You either need to make a move,or she'll just find someone who will.

 

[TheEnergizer]

dude, i gotta agree with recon, you didn't listen to igetit!

"Don't you have a mind of your own? We can't hold your hand dude. Suppose we do come up with a plan for the date,what,do we have to go pick her up too?

Use that brain and come up with something."

didn't he tell you not to quote his lines? and what do you do? you beat yourself up over not quoting his own words exactly! who cares if you didnt say 'pretty for me' that means nothing! youre wayyy too overanalytical dude, youre looking too much at the fine details that youre missing the big picture. she seemed really bored during that phone call, you shouldve taken igetit!'s advice and put some emotion into it. not by using his lines, but by saying something that isnt totally bland. use some humor. and listen to igetit! the stuff he says is true, like how YOU are the date and so on.

 

[AlexLefty]

Ahhh.... haha well poopers...
Let me start off by saying that since reading jeff's alpha article and gradually growing from this site (Jeffs article just topping it off) I am a completley new person and am energetic and always look at things in a good way. Most of my fears/intimidations/nervousenesses are gone. So, idk why i said that, to show ive changed i guess haha

So anyways with this girl, I was eating at a wendy's, left and decided to call her to tell her about the plans I made for us to go bowling tomorrow after school. She didn't answer!! haha, I left a message that went something like this.

me > "Yo what up Jen it's Alex. I was just calling you to talk about our plans for getting together tomorrow, anyways, just call me back when you get this, talk to you later, bye."

SOooooo, if I see her in school tomorrow, even if she tries to walk by me, I'll turn around and stop her and say something like this.

me > "Hey jen whats up, hey your hair looks really nice today" (or whatever, however it comes out haha)
her > "Whatever blah blah"
me > "Hey well I gave you a call yesterday, did you get my message?"
her > "Whatever, no, blah blah"
me > "Oh, well anyways I was thinking me and you could go up to the U after school today and go bowling"
her > "Whatever, i have plans, blah blah (unless she says ok)"
me > "Oh man....Hey well listen, I tried hanging out with you and tried to get to know you, but if you have other plans you gotta do then go do them. But if you ever want to hang out, its up to you now, you call me. Later"

Anyways so that's the update guys, obviously if she flakes on this one, I'm leaving the ball in her court and nexting her, thanks for all your help guys.

 

[Igetit!]

You're too "nice".

Any kind of chemistry or attraction this girl should be feeling towards you will be snuffed out by your "niceness".


You just one nice guy compliment away from the friendzone.


She doesn't seem interested at all. It's like you're putting all this effort into this date BY YOURSELF,and she's just sitting back and watching you run around.


I don't suppose she ever got online to check out the information about the movies you planned on taking her to,did she?


I doubt it. She doesn't even seem to care.

So anyways with this girl, I was eating at a wendy's, left and decided to call her to tell her about the plans I made for us to go bowling tomorrow after school. She didn't answer!! haha, I left a message that went something like this.

me > "Yo what up Jen it's Alex. I was just calling you to talk about our plans for getting together tomorrow, anyways, just call me back when you get this, talk to you later, bye."

So she never called you back. If she were really interested in seeing you,you'd think she'd at least answer the phone,send you a text,or something.


It's almost like she's just living her life,minding her own business,while "this guy" (you) keeps calling her.

SOooooo, if I see her in school tomorrow, even if she tries to walk by me, I'll turn around and stop her and say something like this.

me > "Hey jen whats up, hey your hair looks really nice today" (or whatever, however it comes out haha)
her > "Whatever blah blah"
me > "Hey well I gave you a call yesterday, did you get my message?"
her > "Whatever, no, blah blah"
me > "Oh, well anyways I was thinking me and you could go up to the U after school today and go bowling"
her > "Whatever, i have plans, blah blah (unless she says ok)"
me > "Oh man....Hey well listen, I tried hanging out with you and tried to get to know you, but if you have other plans you gotta do then go do them. But if you ever want to hang out, its up to you now, you call me. Later"

This idea you've got set up about what to say to this girl is simply HORRIBLE.

You need to learn to read girls' signals. This little "speech" you have planned out,you said that this is what you plan to say to her even if she "tries to walk by you". If she walks by you?


Let me ask you a question....


Let's say she does try to walk by you. Well,if she just passes by you like you don't even exist,then what makes you think she's going to go out on a date with you?


Another question....


If a girl really likes you and is looking forward to going out on a date with you,you think she's just going to give you the cold shoulder and walk by you like you're not even there?



Read her signals dude. Does she seem interested to you? Does she appear to be looking forward to you taking her out?


She won't even answer the phone when you call her,and you think she's going to go out with you? An even if she does,it'll probably be just a waste of your money.


Why in the world would you want to take an iceberg out on a date?


There no chemistry there,I can tell. You're too nice. There's no edge,no passion,no "spark". She's just going through the motions with you.


She doesn't appear to have any sexual chemistry with you,and it's because you're killing the chemistry with being 'nice".



I would NOT tell her that her hair looks nice. I'd go something like,

Me:"Where did you get that shirt from?
her: (wherever)
Me:I was just curious. It's a nice shirt,I like it. But you might want to run the iron over it a few times before you wear it out again,but anyway,hey,what happened yesterday? I gave you a call,but I couldn't get it touch with you.


That's what I'd say. You keep trying to be nice,but I keep telling you you need to STIR UP HER EMOTIONS.



You can be nice all you want,but unless she "feels" something,you're just wasting your time.

 

[kevin1198]

haha this community has been slow for a while, most of the expert guys are takin a break from helping out the AFCs

Uhh....ok first of all, im really shocked by this forum and community...i plead out a cry for help and not a single comment to help me out...not even so much as 20 people even looked at this post...glad to know your all reliable

not that it matters because obviously no one will even look at this but..

the chick hasn't called me back
not sure what this means, the movie plan is off for tomorrow?
how do i approach this and her tomorrow, should i call her after school or let it slide and maybe call her on thursday or Friday or completley next her