mixed impressions after first date

[scordate]

met up this afternoon with this girl I met online dating

met her for coffee, she was almost on time, we talked a lot, but she def. talked most, she didnt make it an interview, but rather chatted about this and that and we got around many subjects

no KINO but eye contact from time to time, even prolonged 2 - 4 seconds, but no spark in her eyes

turns out we have quite a lot in common; agree on most big issues

i teased a bit, not overdoing it, and we had some laughs

i ended the date but when we were to leave, 'it came about' that we left together, ( this is a bit strange cause i ususally just say bye at the coffee-shop ?) talking on the way, ( we were lucky weather wise and she remarks that it will also be good weather tomorrow ) finally we came to a point where i had to go left and she right, i say something like we should keep in touch and she says i can just mail her, and then asks me where i am going now, so I say back to the office to check mail ( somehow I got the feeling that she opted for dinner ? )

problem is that although she is a nice woman, 5-6, I didnt feel really attracted - like as in she would be someone that I picked out of a crowd

there is no doubt that she is looking for something permanent, and I dont feel a LTR judging after the first date

but she is sweet, nice slim body perhaps its just that she needs to grow on me ?

would I like to see her again; yeah why not, but I dont think I would feel it a loss should I never see her again

so what are your reading of this ?

how long should I wait to contact her ?
problem: must be done on dating-website, so she probably can see if I have been online without mailing her !

any comments are greatly appreciated

/ Scordate

 

[Slickster]

What are your goals?

Are you dating for the experience? Are you looking for the one? Or a little bit of both?

Once you establish that, then you should be able to decide what it is you need to do with this chick.

Attraction isn't really a choice. Its either there or it isn't. Yes sometimes women "grow" on you. Sometimes it takes awhile to realize your attraction towards someone. Only YOU know whether to pursue her any further.

Experience is golden so my advice is to keep her on your list of potentials and keep adding others too.

It doesn't matter how long you wait to contact her. Do it when you damn well feel like it. As long as you don't come off as desperate or needy then you'll be fine.

Good luck

 

[scordate]

thought I would do a follow up

she sent me a message first, thanking for yesterday and suggested we get together again, and perhaps even this week / weekend

seems she has high level interest which makes me a bit 'shaky' cause my interest is more as in getting some experience

slickster: you are so right; i slipped back to my previous life where I always got oneitis *really* bad

this is just dating for fun; no commitments
i must write this 50 times !

PS. this week / weekend is too soon, or ?

have dates with other woman thursday and next tuesday ;-)

/ scordate

 

[al77]

Originally posted by scordate
this is just dating for fun; no commitments
i must write this 50 times !

PS. this week / weekend is too soon, or ?

Doesnt matter much when... after 1-2 days will be fine: it has a lag remember - you email, then wait until she emails you back... then probably email her again... dont wait a week: she will date other dudes then.

 

[iveyleeger]

In my experience there is no harm in making her wait a bit . . .

 

[DrDope]

dont wait a week: she will date other dudes then. [/B]

This is not necessarily a bad thing. She will date other dudes who suck and she will be thinking of you. IF you played your cards correctly.

 

[Julian]

if you dont like her then you dont like her.

If you see her as an asset in your life, as in, she can provide something that effects you in a positive way..some trait that you can utilize, then keep her around.

Talk to her just enough to keep her in the outer perimeter of your circle, permitting her to enter only on those occasions where you deem her worthy.

If not then just leave her in the land of the neverknown.

 

[scordate]

swampwiz:
well, face is kinda average
slim or slimmish
but at least its a face with character, not a silly bimbo empty look

hey one guys 8 is anothers guys 6, right ?
like I said, not one that stands out in a crowd

to all:
but I feel that I really need to get this oneitis thing controlled

I am far far to centrered on thinking about how and when to NEXT her after x dates

how do you combine the wuss, who wants to treat her nice with the good DJ, I am determined to grow into ?

/ scordate