Met cute girl...need some quick thoughts/advice

[MR109]

Originally Posted by MR109
I met a girl last week in an Acting class (a 1 week-long intensive). I thought she was cute, and when I approached her and we chatted, we had a really cool connection.

I wasn't all over her or anything...just approached her a few times throughout the week. Because we were in class together, I did not want to ask her out right away...figured I would wait until the end of the week.

I got her number at the end of class...but it wasn't really a big deal...Asked how to spell her name...entered it in my phone...then got her to enter her digits.

JUST AFTER I did this, some other guy started talking to her as he wanted to set her up with his friend...she was REALLY uncomfortable and hesitant, but she told him to give "this guy" her email...and maybe she would see...

ANYWAY...

I texted here the next day, joked around...and she asked if I was coming to her movie premier (it was in a few days). I said "for sure"...then the texts went like this:

HER - I'd meet before or after going in so we can sit together?

ME - "Sure...but if I let you sit next me, are you going to pull the 'ol "fake yawn", put your arm around me, and start molesting me?"

(There were 2 days the film was being shown...her reply was:

HER -" what day are you coming? yes I will molest you.

ME - Woo hoo! Coming Wednesday.

HER " Hells, yea. The "Red carpet" is inside, so I'll wait to meet up with you before we sit down. You get to meet my papa!!

ME - cool! I'll call you when I get there.

So...being a big premier...her dad flew into town...

On Wednesday, I gave her call when got there, and she is running MEGA late. The theatre is sold out, and they are pushing everyone inside to take seats. So...I went inside and grabbed a seat.

She texts me from 2 different cell phone numbers 2 minutes before the movie begins:

HER - " where are you?

I tell here where I am, but as her seating was reserved (being in the cast)...AND the fact that her Dad and 2 other friends were with here, there was no way we could get seats together.

I text her quickly, let her know where I am...we plan to meet up after the film.

At the end of the film, I hook up with her, and she introduces me to her dad and 2 other friends. There is an "after party", but it is basically going to be the entire cast, her and her dad.

I had to work the next day, and STUPID ME decided not to go to the after party. It felt weird hanging out with her and her dad, I guess...

REGRETTED IT!!!

I chatted and walked with her for a bit...told her I would call her tomorrow.

She smiled and said, "no pressure..."

(not really sure what that meant).

We chatted a bit more...she was walking/taking with her dad...so i chatted up her best girl friend for a bit.

When it was time to say goodbye for the evening, so came over to me, gave me a nice hug, and we kissed each other on the cheek. If her dad wasn't staring at me, and her 2 other friends next to me, I would have asked her out then and there for a drink the week after...but...of course I did not.

The following morning there are 2 texts from her..again from 2 different numbers..one from her cell...the other I did not know.

HER - "thank you for being there last nite..."

I gave her a call a few hours later, but the call cut-off before it could get to voice...I tried again, but the same thing happened. Figured it was my reception...so I texted her quickly to the SECOND number she used, and told her to give me a call.

At midnight, I get a text from her:

HER - "hey were you having trouble with my voice mail? My phone broke (by force) this evening. I have no cell now. But that's why I have a google voice number!"

I texted her back and asked what a good number to call her on was...

a couple hours later:

HER - "I have no phone through Monday now. But please always use my xxx.xxx.xxxx number from now on no matter what!

I have this bad feeling that maybe I was texting her too much or something???? Turned her off???

The strange thing, is the last 2 texts came FROM the cell phone that is broken. I "think" Google voice maybe forwards messages or something???

Anyway...

I sorta felt crappy with those last 2 texts she sent...

Ideally, I wanted to ask her out...but as I only met her a week ago, the only real opportunity I will have is on the phone. I also don't this "blind date" guy to get any game.

Any thoughts on this?

 

[ARrocket]

I met a girl last week in an Acting class (a 1 week-long intensive). I thought she was cute, and when I approached her and we chatted, we had a really cool connection.

I wasn't all over her or anything...just approached her a few times throughout the week. Because we were in class together, I did not want to ask her out right away...figured I would wait until the end of the week.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it can sometimes work out nicely to have her grab a drink with your or something right after class.

I got her number at the end of class...but it wasn't really a big deal...Asked how to spell her name...entered it in my phone...then got her to enter her digits.

JUST AFTER I did this, some other guy started talking to her as he wanted to set her up with his friend...she was REALLY uncomfortable and hesitant, but she told him to give "this guy" her email...and maybe she would see...

ANYWAY...

I texted here the next day, joked around...and she asked if I was coming to her movie premier (it was in a few days). I said "for sure"...then the texts went like this:

HER - I'd meet before or after going in so we can sit together?

ME - "Sure...but if I let you sit next me, are you going to pull the 'ol "fake yawn", put your arm around me, and start molesting me?"

(There were 2 days the film was being shown...her reply was:

HER -" what day are you coming? yes I will molest you.

ME - Woo hoo! Coming Wednesday.

HER " Hells, yea. The "Red carpet" is inside, so I'll wait to meet up with you before we sit down. You get to meet my papa!!

ME - cool! I'll call you when I get there.

Not too bad...the C&F didn't seem to go all that smoothly though, but no harm no foul.

So...being a big premier...her dad flew into town...

On Wednesday, I gave her call when got there, and she is running MEGA late. The theatre is sold out, and they are pushing everyone inside to take seats. So...I went inside and grabbed a seat.

She texts me from 2 different cell phone numbers 2 minutes before the movie begins:

HER - " where are you?

I tell here where I am, but as her seating was reserved (being in the cast)...AND the fact that her Dad and 2 other friends were with here, there was no way we could get seats together.

I text her quickly, let her know where I am...we plan to meet up after the film.

At the end of the film, I hook up with her, and she introduces me to her dad and 2 other friends. There is an "after party", but it is basically going to be the entire cast, her and her dad.

I had to work the next day, and STUPID ME decided not to go to the after party. It felt weird hanging out with her and her dad, I guess...

REGRETTED IT!!!

I chatted and walked with her for a bit...told her I would call her tomorrow.

Why tell her you'll call her tomorrow? You see her all the time, you're able to game her in person, no need to call...you're supposed to be too busy having a life!!

She smiled and said, "no pressure..."

(not really sure what that meant).

We chatted a bit more...she was walking/taking with her dad...so i chatted up her best girl friend for a bit.

When it was time to say goodbye for the evening, so came over to me, gave me a nice hug, and we kissed each other on the cheek. If her dad wasn't staring at me, and her 2 other friends next to me, I would have asked her out then and there for a drink the week after...but...of course I did not.

The following morning there are 2 texts from her..again from 2 different numbers..one from her cell...the other I did not know.

HER - "thank you for being there last nite..."

I gave her a call a few hours later, but the call cut-off before it could get to voice...I tried again, but the same thing happened. Figured it was my reception...so I texted her quickly to the SECOND number she used, and told her to give me a call.

At midnight, I get a text from her:

HER - "hey were you having trouble with my voice mail? My phone broke (by force) this evening. I have no cell now. But that's why I have a google voice number!"

I texted her back and asked what a good number to call her on was...

a couple hours later:

HER - "I have no phone through Monday now. But please always use my ***-***-**** number from now on no matter what!

I have this bad feeling that maybe I was texting her too much or something???? Turned her off???

The strange thing, is the last 2 texts came FROM the cell phone that is broken. I "think" Google voice maybe forwards messages or something???

Anyway...

I sorta felt crappy with those last 2 texts she sent...

Ideally, I wanted to ask her out...but as I only met her a week ago, the only real opportunity I will have is on the phone. I also don't this "blind date" guy to get any game.

Any thoughts on this?

I added my comments in bold up there ^ Now then, WAY too much texting and calling. I think you started out well, but you're making yourself too available, and you're coming off as too needy. When she texted you to thank you for showing up, should have said "you're welcome" and left it at that. Then the next time you contact her should be to ask her out for a drink or whatever. Don't contact her outside of class for a little while, and of course continue to be your charming self in class! Then in a few days, get her to come out with you!! And this time, MAKE SURE YOU START BEING MORE SEXUAL AND ESCALATING!! IMO you're coming dangerously close to friendzone territory, and you need to put a stop to that!

 

[GettinLuckyAintLuck]

There is no going from the cheek to the lips, when you start with cheek... thats all you're ever gona fawken get....

 

[runner83]

A long story, but a couple of points that stood out to me:

She smiled and said, "no pressure..."

(not really sure what that meant).

A strange thing for her to say... it may be her way of saying that you are putting too much pressure on her.

I have this bad feeling that maybe I was texting her too much or something???? Turned her off???

If you feel that this may be the case, then it is probably true.

You've known this girl for about a week, but you don't really know her. You're placing too much importance on one women - there's 100,000 out there just like her.

So back off a bit and don't make her the entire focus. Don't let your emotions be dictated by what she does.

Keep it moving, but remember, just like fishing, trying too hard won't get you the catch.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

It sucks that:

a) she invited her dad to the show without you knowing

b) she showed up so late which ruined your chance to sit by her


however even with that happening you still did decently well overall. I think the two phone deal is causing you to freak out and over-analyze. No need to stress, just keep doing what your doing and ask her out for a one on one date, maybe drinks casually during the week after class or something.

I do sense a bit of one-itis coming on since as another person mentioned your putting too much importance on her, but she's interested and what you do over the next week or so is what makes or breaks this...


Be confident, ask her out and close!




PIMP

 

[kingsam]

I added my comments in bold up there ^ Now then, WAY too much texting and calling. I think you started out well, but you're making yourself too available, and you're coming off as too needy. When she texted you to thank you for showing up, should have said "you're welcome" and left it at that. Then the next time you contact her should be to ask her out for a drink or whatever. Don't contact her outside of class for a little while, and of course continue to be your charming self in class! Then in a few days, get her to come out with you!! And this time, MAKE SURE YOU START BEING MORE SEXUAL AND ESCALATING!! IMO you're coming dangerously close to friendzone territory, and you need to put a stop to that!

THIS !
+ reps rocket

OP you are making a big deal of this, you just need to just ask her on a date and have no contact between setting up date and said date (except class), when they like you they make it easy, and shes making it easy

remember to close

 

[MR109]

Hi guys...

One of zee problems izz we are no longer in class...it ended last Friday. So only way to talk to her is via phone...and her phone does not work...go figure...ha!

One thing I did not mention...

To not come accross as "needy"...most of my reply texts were around 12 hours apart.

 

[Joe Stud]

Ya know, I see this all too often: A guy will ask for advice, strategize, implement, etc. Then when the natural flow is running late or something, the wussyies say "I gotta work tomorrow so I gotta go home to sleep".
When I was on the prowl, If I had the opening, fvk sleeping. I could stay up all night if I had a lot invested, and I was gonna have a chance to advance my position. So what if you are tired the next day?
Another one is: "I'm short on funds, so I cant ask her out". Cut back on something this week, 2 lunches or a bottle of booze or something. Geez man, make it happen, close the deal. Stop letting a blade of grass trip up your whole game!

 

[CarlitosWay]

Ya know, I see this all too often: A guy will ask for advice, strategize, implement, etc. Then when the natural flow is running late or something, the wussyies say "I gotta work tomorrow so I gotta go home to sleep".
When I was on the prowl, If I had the opening, fvk sleeping. I could stay up all night if I had a lot invested, and I was gonna have a chance to advance my position. So what if you are tired the next day?
Another one is: "I'm short on funds, so I cant ask her out". Cut back on something this week, 2 lunches or a bottle of booze or something. Geez man, make it happen, close the deal. Stop letting a blade of grass trip up your whole game!

EXACTLy, the other night I had to wake up to work very early, I pulled an all night er ....well guess what? Was worth it when I had a buck naked broad in my bed the next morning....If you tip toe around stuff and over analyze you'll get **** results. Take big risks when necessary, get big rewards.

 

[Kailex]

I have a question... is this girl hispanic?

Also, I think this OP is a product of over-thinking. He slowly friend-zoned himself by trying to be too careful.
Was I the only one who CRINGED when he texted back to her: WOOHOO!

I don't know... something about that made me spider sense tingle.

The whole situation seems like an unfortunate circumstance. There was no sexuality involved other than that "molesting" bit. You should have asked her out before everything happened. As soon as I saw that the father was involved... it was game over.

 

[Jeffst1980]

You are overthinking the situation, and if you continue to do so, you will blow it.

As long as she is still returning texts/calls, she is INTO YOU. That's the way you need to frame things if you want to be successful. You don't need ANY MORE validation than that, and she has given you A TON already. At this point, she expects you to step up to the plate and arrange a meet.

The phone issues are a bit weird, I must say. I think you should stop trying to catch her on a phone and just send a text like, "hey! i'm gonna be in your area at ___ o'clock today- let's meet up!" (be sure to pick a time she's likely to be free).

You will have much more luck with a spontaneous-seeming invite, rather a boring, traditional way of asking for a date. If she can't make it, she will hopefully make a counteroffer; if not, try again a few days to a week later.

When a girl is interested, the meet should be an afterthought. If she wants to see you, you can invite her to come help you clean your house and she'll accept. Don't put so much significance on asking for a date!

 

[jophil28]

Over all you did a decent job.
I would have stayed and chatted to ole Dad after delivering a firm handshake. It demonstrates your self confidence .
Her father's approval is important to her -that is why she invited him -to see her perform. She obviously wants and seeks his approval - I would have used that to increase her IL in me by my chatting with Dad.

The phone thing will sort itself out- these messy comms often happen in the first week or two. IF she has high IL she will fix the phone screw up. Relax.

The "WOOHOO" response was overly gushy and came off as eagerness by you. Lose that from your repertoire. Try, " Hmmm .." instead.

I score you 8.5 .

 

[MR109]

yeah...i agree...the whoohoo was bad...

I did introduce myself to her dad, while she was getting pics with other cast members. Gave a good handshake, introduced myself, chatted for a bit...turns out he flew 2000 miles to see her, etc. But he was a quiet guy..

Then I chatted her friend for a bit (her closest girlfriend of 7 years).

Figured I would get some brownie points if I got in with her dad and best friend.

I was actually in her area yesterday afternoon, and did text her for a quick meet...but there was no reply.

Maybe she did not get the text due to her phone issue...maybe she got it and was busy...maybe she got it and was not interested at all...

..either way, I do not plan on contacting her again unless she does first. She knows I was trying to call her when the whole "phone issues" started...so I think if there is ANY interest on her part, she will contact me once her phone is working. If more than a week or so goes by, maybe I'll touch base again...

Anyone else concur?

 

[iliketennis]

some of the advice here in horrendous. way too much overanalyzing

if she wants to communicate with you, she will find a way. don't stress

 

[MR109]

cool...

 

[MR109]

Well, I asked her out. I was fairly direct, but was along these lines, "I'd love to take you out. Meet me for a drink next week...". I thought it was obvious I was asking her out on a date, as opposed to "as a friend".

She said she would like to, and we made plans for last night (Thursday). Decided to go for a drink, and then catch a comedy club afterwords.

I picked her up at 8, and because she had a photo shoot in the morning, she preferred not get a drink, but would rather sit down, grab a bite, etc...then go to the club. I know she has a sleeping disorder, and she wanted to look good for the shoot, so it made sense...

No big deal.

We had a great time, and it was really fun. Before the show, we ended up heading to an open mic night just around the corner and such.

There was a bit of kino throughout, but not too many opportunities to have things more "intimate", like sitting down for a drink would have been.

In conversation, she explained that she was an introvert, and does not relate very well with people.

When I first picked her up, I did feel a sexual tension, but as the evening progresses, and her being somewhat distant physically...it felt like I was hanging out with my best friend. Don't get me wrong, we had a great time, lots of laughs, touching, etc...but because of the change of scenery (not having a drink beforehand), I felt it left no room to escalate anything.

After the show, she really had to get going so she could try to get some sleep and look good for the photos shoot. No worries there.

When I dropped her off, she told me she had a great time. She was in a rush, so it left NO room for any escalation even there. She gave me a quick hug and that was it.

She is heading to Hawaii on Wednesday for 2 weeks. She again said she had a great time, and the next time i would see here is when class starts again (3 weeks from now).

So...

All in all...had a great, fun time with a girl I like...who happens to be an introvert...left no room for escalation..and the evening felt like i was hanging out with my best friend...hmmm...

After the evening ended, my impression was that she had NO interest whatsoever...but then why even go at all?

Thoughts?

 

[ARrocket]

After the evening ended, my impression was that she had NO interest whatsoever...but then why even go at all?

Thoughts?

Because she had nothing better to do? Because she wanted a free meal? Because she likes the attention you'd be sure to give her on this date? All of the above? Who knows. But your impression is most likely correct.

I think the whole "I'd love to take you out" was weak. Better to just take her out..."hey, I'm free Thursday night, let's go for a drink."

When she said she'd rather get a bite to eat, I'd probably have declined. Better to reschedule for a day when she has more time. It would be worth it to get the correct setting for your date so you can establish the kino you wanted to.

 

[kingsam]

I picked her up at 8, and because she had a photo shoot in the morning, she preferred not get a drink, but would rather sit down, grab a bite, etc...then go to the club. I know she has a sleeping disorder, and she wanted to look good for the shoot, so it made sense...

No big deal.

We had a great time, and it was really fun. Before the show, we ended up heading to an open mic night just around the corner and such.

There was a bit of kino throughout, but not too many opportunities to have things more "intimate", like sitting down for a drink would have been.

In conversation, she explained that she was an introvert, and does not relate very well with people.

When I first picked her up, I did feel a sexual tension, but as the evening progresses, and her being somewhat distant physically...it felt like I was hanging out with my best friend. Don't get me wrong, we had a great time, lots of laughs, touching, etc...but because of the change of scenery (not having a drink beforehand), I felt it left no room to escalate anything.

After the show, she really had to get going so she could try to get some sleep and look good for the photos shoot. No worries there.

When I dropped her off, she told me she had a great time. She was in a rush, so it left NO room for any escalation even there. She gave me a quick hug and that was it.

She is heading to Hawaii on Wednesday for 2 weeks. She again said she had a great time, and the next time i would see here is when class starts again (3 weeks from now).

So...

All in all...had a great, fun time with a girl I like...who happens to be an introvert...left no room for escalation..and the evening felt like i was hanging out with my best friend...hmmm...

After the evening ended, my impression was that she had NO interest whatsoever...but then why even go at all?

Thoughts?

maybe it would have been better to say "if you have an early morning lets make it another time...blar blar blar [e.g. imply she would be exhausted after a date wiht you! hehe C+F ...etc...]..."
did u know about the photoshoot before the date?

you kinda let her rearrange what you'd organised for the date...not great IMO*, she had an arguably 'fair' reason for that but still, the man should be leading, you set/asked for the date it should have been your plans, not altered to her whims at the last minute... and obviously the problem with no social lubrication means that everyone is awkward and not relaxed...

i feel there is some other reason for the "im an introvert" stuff - some kind of sh.it test, or a pre-defensive Manoeuvre, or an easy way to "soft reject" if shes not feeling any IL ...hmmmm....

When I dropped her off, she told me she had a great time. She was in a rush, so it left NO room for any escalation even there. She gave me a quick hug and that was it.

(always hard to get every detail in a forum but...) what not even 5 minutes? im feeling that she make sure she was "in a rush" to get back home quickly, prevent you trying to go for a kiss...

well it doesnt matter about whether or not you should try to arrange a 2nd date with her as shes on holiday
what i'd do is wait to you see her back in class and gauge her IL towards you when you interact...base your decision on that...

-----------
* but nothings black n white, but i have changed resurants for a chik before as she didnt like the food there...

 

[MR109]

To just clear up...

The "change" from drink to a bite was when I was in her apartment (not beforehand). She told me to come up to her place when I got there...went up...chatted for a bit..then she said that it turns out she has a photo shoot and agent meeting, therefore wanted to not do the drink thing. I would have re-arranged if I knew all this before...

 

[CarlitosWay]

To just clear up...

The "change" from drink to a bite was when I was in her apartment (not beforehand). She told me to come up to her place when I got there...went up...chatted for a bit..then she said that it turns out she has a photo shoot and agent meeting, therefore wanted to not do the drink thing. I would have re-arranged if I knew all this before...

lol I would have tried to escalate a bit in her apartment, just to feel it out. Would have given an answer to how interested she was in you.:crazy: