I think what you're describing happens more in minority communities than in White communities. I haven't seen exactly what you're describing happening among White people who date other White people.
The more common thing that I would see with White people is professional, educated women outearning a man. As an example, it's possible to see a woman earning $110,000/year dating a man making $88,000/year. While that man makes enough to live on his own, in the context of a relationship with a $110,000, he's not doing well. If the two were to live together, they would likely go 50/50 on housing.
Relationships where the woman outearns the man tend to have problems in the long run. It's probably ok for a short period of time, likely less than 18 months, but would cause issues if the relationship goes longer than that. If they stayed living apart, it's somewhat workable, but I could see issues affecting that even when they are living apart. It relates to Iron Rule of Tomassi #1 -- meaning frame is everything. Men making less money than a woman affects frame big time.
I've never lived off of a woman. Earlier in my career, I dated women who made more money than I did and predictably it had bad results. A lot of times those interactions failed to develop even before sex happens. I had plenty of "one date, no sex, no second date" interactions with women with a higher salary than I had at the moment of that date. I did not like it when I was picking up the cost of those early stage dates for women who made more than I did. Eventually, my career progressed enough that this became less of an issue. However, there are still careerist women who make more than I do. I am better at avoiding them. One way to avoid career women is not to use swipe apps. For instance, it is rare to meet female lawyers through real life approaching, but they are plentiful on swipe apps.
We know that hypergamy is a real thing.
A lot of professional women have a tough choice to make. It is the preference of higher earning professional women (lawyers, doctors/dentists, accountants, middle to upper level business managers, etc) to date men who make more than they do. That's difficult to achieve at a certain point for women. A decent female lawyer is going to have a difficult time finding men who make more than she does. Additionally, the most desirable men who have a salary that exceeds hers aren't going to want to date a woman with such a demanding career that takes up a lot of time and inhibits the time they can spend together. The higher level female professionals could date a boring, higher earning beta who is spineless and ok with a careerist woman, date a lower earning beta man, or have casual sex arrangements with physically appealing, more Alpha men who make less money than they do. All of these options have problems for a woman if you're considering a longer period of time. They all lack sustainability in some way.
