Meeting up with EX tomorrow after over a year - Advice needed as im already in another relationship.

[bobafatt]

Ok so to cut a long story short me and my ex broke up in October 2021, It was coming to an end we were both getting bored and in each others pockets for the most part. She told me she wanted a break and i agreed but went one further and said i actually thought it was best that we broke up and went our separate way. It was an amicable break up and we both went no contact.

Fast forward to this time last year, I found myself a real one, dead gorgeous with a perfect body - We've been with each other ever since.

Me and my ex started talking again around July time, first it started off as just friendly conversation but after a month or so it started to really heat up. She told me she missed certain things that i used to do when we had 'secs' when she would describe these things i got suckered in and i couldn't get enough of speaking to her. I'd tell her all the things she wanted to hear but would always make an excuse about not being able to meet for being too busy. Deep down i really wanted to meet but felt bad about it as effectively I'd be cheating. I get my actions aren't the greatest anyway but doing the whole meet up is something i couldn't bring myself to do!

She ended up finding out that i was seeing someone else but i denied it playing it off as rumors. We have been in and out of contact up until about two weeks ago when we got into quite a deep conversation. I own a campervan and she was dying to meet up so i could take her away in it. We had it set up for the Saturday but a few days before, sadly, my Nan passed away which really cut deep with me. I had a realization of what i'd been doing and sent her a long email explaining that i'd been in a relationship all along but everything i had said to her was the truth and that i still loved her - you know how them emails go lol.

Anyway, as you'd imagine she was in total shock called me every name under the sun and told me to never contact her again, I did exactly that until i got a message from her basically saying that she was really looking forward to seeing me, that she knew we were going to have the best 'secs' and that she could feel it building up inside of her....

I never replied back to it but guaranteed i wanted to! She sent me another message yesterday asking me certain questions about why i lied to her etc. She followed another message back bascially saying that she has no choice but to move on and that for the last year she's thought that at some point we would get back together. I replied saying i agreed and told her she deserves a lot better and that im sorry for everything. She then replied asking to meet up tomorrow as she wants proper closure as texting wasn't doing it.

I'm basically asking for all of your advice - Should i meet up with her. Is it actual closure that she wants from me or is it more? Im worried that if i do meet up with her i wont be able to resist, she's beautiful and we had the best time - im really torn with what to do the devil is saying going - What should i actually expect from tomorrow's meet.

Thanks for reading

 

[Dr.Suave]

This is a though one. If you dont bang your ex and your current relatioship doesnt work you will regret not bangin your ex. If you bang you ex you might feel guilty. I normally like to see the bright side but I feel you are in a lose-lose situation.

You shouldnt cheat but my hunch is that If your current girl was "the one" you wouldnt even be thinking about your ex, you would have just ghost her or blocked her. So in this case, bang you ex, your current LTR will probably not work out in the long run anyway by the way you talk about your ex.

 

[bobafatt]

This is a though one. If you dont bang your ex and your current relatioship doesnt work you will regret not bangin your ex. If you bang you ex you might feel guilty. I normally like to see the bright side but I feel you are in a lose-lose situation.

You shouldnt cheat but my hunch is that If your current girl was "the one" you wouldnt even be thinking about your ex, you would have just ghost her or blocked her. So in this case, bang you ex, your current LTR will probably not work out in the long run anyway by the way you talk about your ex.

My feelings are still there for my ex but no like they were, Like i can take it or leave it but i really really want to smash again. Saying that, On a personal level i had a lot more in common with my ex than my current. I cant see us lasting but life is good at the moment either way. I feel like a C**T for saying it like that

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Worst-case scenario, you meet up with your ex, have sex, and go no contact again. Your current girl finds out and dumps you.

You are now stuck without the cheese or bread.

Most likely your ex is just seeking validation, and/or roping you in without reason or rhyme. The stakes are high because:

1) You have feelings for your ex, it will make a dent in your mental peace.
2) Your current ex seems higher in SMV than your ex, and losing her because of a lower SMV girl just seems idiotic.

My advice: Don't.

Sex is not worth your mental peace and potential with your current relationship. Work on your self-control.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Worst-case scenario, you meet up with your ex, have sex, and go no contact again. Your current girl finds out and dumps you.

You are now stuck without the cheese or bread.

Most likely your ex is just seeking validation, and/or roping you in without reason or rhyme. The stakes are high because:

1) You have feelings for your ex, it will make a dent in your mental peace.
2) Your current ex seems higher in SMV than your ex, and losing her because of a lower SMV girl just seems idiotic.

My advice: Don't.

Sex is not worth your mental peace and potential with your current relationship. Work on your self-control.

This is a good post. You dumped her for a reason. You should reflect on it long and hard.

I took my ex back for the wrong reasons (head game, emptiness, self worth) against not only the advice of everyone but against my own head as well. I didn’t have anyone in my life at the time, you do.

I would not wish my situation with her on anyone. I just had to tell her that it’s better I don’t be there when the kids open the presents and will do our own on my side.

If you bang the ex, you should be not only prepared for that not to work, but also for your girl now to leave, and really by doing so, you should be making a decision that you’re going to be casual now and that relationships are not your priority.

I may add one thing here: if your ex has a certain interest that you like sexually, and you want that kink and are able / want to remove yourself from it emotionally, then throw a little mode one and tell her that she needs to come over and perform that specific act and get what you want out of this. If she’s not willing to do that, then refer above. Also from reading this I don’t think you necessarily have the emotional detachment required to execute on that.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

So if you want to get back with the ex, cheating with her on your current gf puts you in a bad light with her. If you ever got back with her, she will use it against you, as you are a man that cannot be trusted and are of low moral fiber.

Now, if you don't care about either one for LTR, I say go for it with the X.

 

[Divorced w 3]

For what it worth. My crazy ***** ex just called me mentally unstable and aggressively threw a coat at me in front of our son and daughter.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Daman what happened man, you okay?

Yes thank you. I didn’t flinch. Very proud of myself for that, took a lot.

I’m just letting this guy know that we make decisions for a reason. Your little head will overpower your big head.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

You're recently divorced and have young ones; it will take a while for you guys to be civil, and it may take work to achieve. It's a good thing to do for the kids. Give it some time.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

What's the point of this? You don't owe her anything. Move on and stop worrying about her.

 

[Divorced w 3]

What's the point of this? You don't owe her anything. Move on and stop worrying about her.

Winner winner

 

[Atom Smasher]

You’re playing with a viper and you don’t even know it. You will get bit.

 

[SW15]

There's a reason you have your current girlfriend. Keep it that way. Pretend your ex never existed. Everything will be better by doing that.

 

[startstrongtoday22]

Exes are snakes. They only come around when they have no one else. You seem to be the comfortable option that’s why she is coming to you. Don’t feel special. It’s not you, it’s how she feels about the convenience

 

[EyeBRollin]

Just bang your ex and continue on with your life. Drop all the talk about being together; she’s an ex for a reason. Truth is you two aren’t better together you just want to bang so get it over with. Make no mistake, she just wants to bang too. (exes bang you mainly to get a sexual fix with a man they already trust. It is “safer”). In the meantime, don’t do anything stupid like telling anyone about it, especially your current girlfriend.

 

[RickTheToad]

Ok so to cut a long story short me and my ex broke up in October 2021, It was coming to an end we were both getting bored and in each others pockets for the most part. She told me she wanted a break and i agreed but went one further and said i actually thought it was best that we broke up and went our separate way. It was an amicable break up and we both went no contact.

Fast forward to this time last year, I found myself a real one, dead gorgeous with a perfect body - We've been with each other ever since.

Me and my ex started talking again around July time, first it started off as just friendly conversation but after a month or so it started to really heat up. She told me she missed certain things that i used to do when we had 'secs' when she would describe these things i got suckered in and i couldn't get enough of speaking to her. I'd tell her all the things she wanted to hear but would always make an excuse about not being able to meet for being too busy. Deep down i really wanted to meet but felt bad about it as effectively I'd be cheating. I get my actions aren't the greatest anyway but doing the whole meet up is something i couldn't bring myself to do!

She ended up finding out that i was seeing someone else but i denied it playing it off as rumors. We have been in and out of contact up until about two weeks ago when we got into quite a deep conversation. I own a campervan and she was dying to meet up so i could take her away in it. We had it set up for the Saturday but a few days before, sadly, my Nan passed away which really cut deep with me. I had a realization of what i'd been doing and sent her a long email explaining that i'd been in a relationship all along but everything i had said to her was the truth and that i still loved her - you know how them emails go lol.

Anyway, as you'd imagine she was in total shock called me every name under the sun and told me to never contact her again, I did exactly that until i got a message from her basically saying that she was really looking forward to seeing me, that she knew we were going to have the best 'secs' and that she could feel it building up inside of her....

I never replied back to it but guaranteed i wanted to! She sent me another message yesterday asking me certain questions about why i lied to her etc. She followed another message back bascially saying that she has no choice but to move on and that for the last year she's thought that at some point we would get back together. I replied saying i agreed and told her she deserves a lot better and that im sorry for everything. She then replied asking to meet up tomorrow as she wants proper closure as texting wasn't doing it.

I'm basically asking for all of your advice - Should i meet up with her. Is it actual closure that she wants from me or is it more? Im worried that if i do meet up with her i wont be able to resist, she's beautiful and we had the best time - im really torn with what to do the devil is saying going - What should i actually expect from tomorrow's meet.

Thanks for reading

Not worth the headache. Spare yourself the waste of time and energy. Garbage taken out to the curb, should stay at the curb.

 

[bobafatt]

UPDATE: She messaged me this morning asking me if today was still on, I got back to her a few hours later and said that i wouldn't be meeting up with her. I told her there wasn't any point in us meeting up, she replied saying i had one chance to make it right and then blocked me.

I think the only real reason why i wanted to see her was for another bang, we had some really wild secs and i missed that - I just need to find a way to get my other girl to open up a bit more.

I know if i did meet my ex it would of opened up a whole can of worms and i wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing what I'd done - so thanks to everyone's advice here in the forum because i know I've made the right decision now

 

[EyeBRollin]

I know if i did meet my ex it would of opened up a whole can of worms and i wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing what I'd done - so thanks to everyone's advice here in the forum because i know I've made the right decision now

It wouldn’t have. There is nothing to feel guilty about. My friend you need to kill that guilty gene of yours. You still believe women have morals and shvt; they do not. Women play for keeps when it comes to mating. All is fair in love and war.

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

It wouldn’t have. There is nothing to feel guilty about. My friend you need to kill that guilty gene of yours. You still believe women have morals and shvt; they do not. Women play for keeps when it comes to mating. All is fair in love and war.

I very much second this. You ain't owe monogamy to no woman. You do what you want.

I know if i did meet my ex it would of opened up a whole can of worms

Yeah probably it was best not to open that can, but

and i wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing what I'd done

you wouldn't have done anything. You would've just followed your natural desire and banged some chick.

 

[startstrongtoday22]

You are all forgetting that his current girl doesn’t know she is a plate lol, if she did it would be different. So stop saying he doesn’t need to be loyal…