Meeting girls with aspergers syndrome

[sambwoy]

I feel or have always felt isolated because I have aspergers syndrome- which is mild form of autism- and because of all the autistic stigma I have no confidence or wonder if I should ever trust anyone again.

Any tips on overcoming this?

 

[squirrels]

title has nothing to do with description

It does, it's just not carefully worded.

A buddy of mine has Aspberger's...just recently diagnosed, but he's had it all his life and for the greater part, it was untreated.

He does fine with girls...when he applies himself. He's trapped in a bit of a "one-itis" situation right now, but he has had options here and there even through that.

If having it is destroying your confidence, you have a confidence problem, not an Aspberger's problem.

I would not let it worry you.

 

[Rogue]

sambwoy:
I feel or have always felt isolated because I have aspergers syndrome- which is mild form of autism- and because of all the autistic stigma I have no confidence or wonder if I should ever trust anyone again.

Any tips on overcoming this?

I have Asperger syndrome.

Much of the isolation results from unwittingly violating unspoken social rules, like, for instance, don't ask someone their name more than twice, don't evade eye contact when talking to someone, and don't talk like an encyclopedia (long and boring). Isolation also occurs when you misread people's emotions and so you act out of step.

Luckily for you, self-awareness goes a long way in improvement. You can figure out what social rules you were breaking and you can learn how to better read people's emotions (eye contact is big). With enough effort, you can lead a relatively normal life. Nobody knows I'm different unless I tell them.

 

[sambwoy]

Sorry the title is not worded right.

No matter, thanks to the replies so far.

 

[sambwoy]

Sorry the title is not worded right.

No matter, thanks to the replies so far.

I have been on a board like this before but many posters thought the AS (and I have other shortcomings too) I was just using as an excuse for not getting out there.

When its this difficult, when you look at society and life, it's easy to fall into the trap of feeling sorry for yourself and perhaps reclusive, but what do you do if this affects nearly every aspect of your life?

 

[The Experience]

When you start out with shortcomings you may start to believe that is who you are and internalize it. What you have to do is work hard at getting yourself to make AS a small part of your life by changing the way you think. If you think negatively question why you do.

 

[sambwoy]

I do get sick that it takes over much of my life. I wish I hadn't been born with it, or whenever it was I was diagnosed with it. Not just girls but how I see life and the world.

 

[FairShake]

Gird yourself for alot of failure with the hope that it will pay off. Either you will get better or you will fail trying. Try.

 

[LinkinParkROX]

The easiest way to overcome this - be yourself. Say unusual uncanny **** that might piss people off. If they get pissed off, who cares? They probably weren't worth being friends with anyway. This way, you'll weed out the losers and find the gold.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

If you've got AS, then you can probably overcome this the same way that you overcome other issues with social interaction... STUDY STUDY STUDY it until you know the situations inside and outside and backwards and forwards and know the best way to react so that you can increase your odds of having a positive experience.

It's all about the rules, so you need to find your own rules and read as much as you can and see what works. It's very similar to what people without AS have to do, except that it's rule discovery in a much more formal sense for people with AS.

 

[sambwoy]

Everyone 'neurotypical' act like any spectrum disorder is outside the norm, like there is a set way to socialise. What makes them so perfect?

I know in broad-minded comedy on TV (South Park etc.) they make fun of anything like that, which only makes my life feel more challenging, and it reflects society. Some days I am alive I am really close to jumping off the balcony. Why should I be of service to others when I get nothing back?

 

[sambwoy]

I don't know whether this is to do with it but I overthink things.

Seeing no future with women or ever finding one is actually making me ill. I have been losing sleep. Supposing you are just an everyday not particularly exciting or interesting person (the trouble is people tell me I have these things, but in the real world they are insufficient where dating is concerned), is it really so bad, or has it become so bad? Why do guys need tactics and things to meet women? Where have the men gone that didn't need to worry (so much) about their appearance?

 

[ilikecharlene]

get social skills training.

Quite a few people with ASD can date, it's not an absolute barrier. Very few things frankly are.

 

[sambwoy]

A lot of posters complain of me complaining about things that are wrong with me, aspergers included. Its one thing to say to get more in touch with reality and see that no-one is perfect, then why I am getting judged by women in real life? Why did girls used to laugh at me on the bus? What is wrong with people?