May sound cliché but I need your advice

[ColonyConfused]

So I met this girl from OKC a month ago and we hit it off immediately when we met; similar interests, similar experiences... anything I said would impress her a lot, and vice versa. In other words, we seemed like a great match. We went to grab wine at a bar after coffee and hell we found even more common interests there, and then while we were laughing about something we were talking about, I said "I just want to kiss you right now" and she looked at me in a welcoming way so I kissed her (as bad as it sounds, it actually fit well with the way we had hit it off) We made out again when I walked her to her car. That was our first date. From there everything just started to get more intense, we spent the next two weekend together. Until last weekend when she stayed over on Friday night and left to work on Saturday morning (waitress), but we hung out again on Saturday night after her work. We didn't have sex because we decided to do an STD test before we do, but we did pretty much everything else.

The issue starts here I think: on Saturday night when she came over again, we were a bit buzzed, and at one point she didn't let me kiss her neck and then seemed like she was gonna say something but didn't say it, but I asked her to tell me what she wanted to say. She said that I'm a bit too touchy recently and that it's good if it's once in a while but not all the time. That was a huge wake up call for me (but maybe a little late) I had completely given myself away for her, because i felt we had such a good connection, I had completely forgotten everything that I had learnt in SS/past experiences, I became a child with her, opened myself up to her like never before. She did the same, she told me everything about her life, and we both were surprised how we both trusted each other so easily. Anyway, she fell asleep on my couch, I slept on the other couch. Then she left in the morning, we kissed goodbye and the communication since then has been fading away, she started responding very late to my texts, and also canceled our cookie date on Thursday last minute but she had sorta legitimate reason for it, but still, the communication is just horrible now, clear signals of loss of interest. I have initiated NC since yesterday afternoon when she said she couldn't make it to our date, I said no worries and then didn't say anything. She hasn't responded to it either. I think It's pretty much done, but I still like her a lot, because I gave her too much too soon, I was honest and maskless with her and she actually liked that a lot. On Tuesday she had a friend over and they talked about different perspectives, I'm thinking her friend made her pull this slow-reply/semi-ghosting on me. Not my first time that a girl's friend convinces her to stop seeing me.

Anyway, at this point I know everything that I did wrong, I offered myself to her fully and that's the biggest mistake but we had such a great connection, It is so rare for me to have such genuine connection with girls! Do you think there's any way that I can make this work? Like maybe in a few days if she didn't contact me, I go ahead and send her a funny meme or something.. I dont know, honestly I'm a wreck these days and It is bothering me a lot to think how I got so blind to what I was doing with her. I'm not a beginner, I usually have a way with most women but this one girl just reached deep and grabbed my most vulnerable version, I have zero guards up and zero plans when I'm on that vulnerability level.

P.S. she has daddy issues and has sort of low self-esteem, had been single since last year, but has a lesbian roommate/bestfriend and they have tried a few times, she claims that she prefers guys, but she's very smart!

 

[ohrein]

Oneitis is a cruel mistress. She's probably not that special and she doesn't sound that interested in you. Sorry. If I were you I would let her initiate contact and if she does you can reciprocate, but I'd be dating other people straight away and getting ready to move on.

 

[Toddz]

You screwed up in a few ways. 1. Asking for her permission to kiss her 2. Opening yourself up to her and communicating like women do 3. Catching any sort of feelings after just a few dates.

Women never want full disclosure, they like a mystery and to figure a man out, on their own. You revealing yourself took that away from her.

If I were you, I would not contact her again. No memes, nothing. It's probably too late, but the only way this may work is if you completely reframe the interaction and let her come back to you. If she does ever contact you again, don't be all excited to hear from her. I would immediately date other women and completely forget about her. Indifference and simply not caring is a powerful tool. You don't care because you have options. Remember options breeds confidence and confidence leads to options.

 

[Spaz]

U r just too easy, not much of a challenge for her.

Remember a women wants to catch a man. A hard to get man is valuable.

 

[sazc]

I'm not going to lay blame on your feet.

Listen, in GOOD relationships, where things are doing to last LONG TERM, it's essential for both people to open up, be vulnerable, and TRUST, just like you two were doing with each other.

This situation has one simple explanation - she got SCARED.

she opened up to you, got vulnerable and then realized she was colluding in a situation where she could possibly get hurt, again, and she got COLD FEET. She started to feel "smothered" by all the intimacy - because it's not the "attention" or you being "touchy feely" that makes people feel smothered, it's being intimate and vulnerable with someone - that makes people feel smothered (or someone asking you to be intimate and vulnerable)

Anyways, not your fault. You and she were on the exact same page, and rightly so, until she got scared of the intimacy.

Nothing you can do to about this, it's ALL on her. Go NC, look for other women to date, and let life play out.

 

[VladPatton]

Too fast, too much, and too soon. And you didn't even bang?? Come on man. Look at this objectively in hind sight. Next time, take it slower and make sure the chick is actually worth all that bvllsh!t. Most of the time, a relationship-starved guy goes all out and it blips on her radar. Chill with the lovey-dovey dates and the no fvck sleepoverson the next one. That $hit is advanced level, not intro level.