Match.com profile review

[MinusoneAFC]

I looking for some input on my profile on match.com so here it is. Please be brutually honest with me. thx. bp

Title line reads: Let the fun begin.

Profile:

Well let's start off with the type of guy I am not. I think too many guys make the mistake of taking things to fast and seriously in the beginning, telling them they love them after the first date and wanting walk down the isle with them. Come on ladies you know you have experienced this, and for my guys, practice a little self-control. The point of dating is to have fun and keep it light.

So what type of guy am I? In terms of my personality I consider myself a confident guy, with a take charge attitude, great outlook on life, patient and demand that life show me everything that it has to offer. I believe that women want to be treated with respect, shown affection and romance. They enjoy a complement here and there but don't want to be showered by them, at least not in the early stages of dating (okay now if your saying you do, think of the guys that did this to you, are you still dating them, my point exactly). I believe women want to take it slow, they like a little bit of mystery. I believe actions speak louder than words. In terms of what I am looking for she has to be flexible, have a good attitude, have integrity (trusting) and giving. In terms of traditional dates I enjoy breaking the mold by doing something different like a competitive game of bowling, shooting pool or a round of darts. Don't get me wrong a dinner date is great for first date but after that I enjoy something will a little more flare and excitement. Drop me a line if you're ready to meet a fun and playful guy that isn't your average guy!

 

[MinusoneAFC]

Either its bad ass which is why no one responded

or no one cares :-( just playin, seriously though any feed back would be good. Also any good email openers or ideas of areas to be playful with chicks would be appreciated.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by MinusoneAFC


Well let's start off with the type of guy I am not. I think too many guys make the mistake of taking things to fast and seriously in the beginning, telling them they love them after the first date and wanting walk down the isle with them. Come on ladies you know you have experienced this, and for my guys, practice a little self-control. The point of dating is to have fun and keep it light.

So what type of guy am I? In terms of my personality I consider myself a confident guy, with a take charge attitude, great outlook on life, patient and demand that life show me everything that it has to offer. I believe that women want to be treated with respect, shown affection and romance. They enjoy a complement here and there but don't want to be showered by them, at least not in the early stages of dating (okay now if your saying you do, think of the guys that did this to you, are you still dating them, my point exactly). I believe women want to take it slow, they like a little bit of mystery. I believe actions speak louder than words. In terms of what I am looking for she has to be flexible, have a good attitude, have integrity (trusting) and giving. In terms of traditional dates I enjoy breaking the mold by doing something different like a competitive game of bowling, shooting pool or a round of darts. Don't get me wrong a dinner date is great for first date but after that I enjoy something will a little more flare and excitement. Drop me a line if you're ready to meet a fun and playful guy that isn't your average guy!

1. The profile is too long.. when they read the end they forget what you said in the begining. Simply leave 50% of it. or 40%

2. You say many introductory phrases like
"Well let's start off with"
"So what type of guy am I?"
etc.. just cut all extra words.

3. Have you heard about a concept of punchline?
The first line has the most impact.. usually.
You have "I think too many guys make the mistake of"
You satrt with negative thing.. try to convert it into positive something.

4. I consider myself a confident guy... it sounds a bit odd.
Like "I consider myself sane, healthy, smart, brilliant, super good looking...". Dont say explicitly... try to show it with examples.. or at least other words... or images....

5. "I believe" - you have said so many time... try a different word.
Try not to say "I" so many time...

6. "I believe actions speak louder than words. " it is a trite. Dont say something that so much is not original...

7. "something different like a competitive game of bowling"
C'mon man. I saw on TV a guy tool a girl to a kick boxing and actully kickboxed her a couple of time.. but that was on TV.
Bwoling for the first date is kind too much action I guess.

8. "Don't get me wrong a dinner date is great for first "
Dont explain... and apologize....dont assume she takes you wrong....

9. "that isn't your average guy"... They read "average guy"...it is teh image that is left after that pharse... "isnt" doesnt produce an inage but "average" does.

Well... revamp it... come back for more feedback...

 

[MinusoneAFC]

Updated profile revamped the whole thing

Let me know what ya think, still working on shedding the afc skin.

Title: Sane, Brilliant, healthy, and super good looking…….

Intro: Yes I own a striped shirt but I know how to wear, inside out. About me. I usually read the last chapter of the book first so I know how it ends, but if you got the cliff notes cough ’em up. I check the mail in my Calvin Klein boxers, gotta practice my runway moves for GQ magazine. I’m sure I have a dozen movie and library fines in at least 20 states. I consider myself sane, healthy, smart, brilliant, super good looking... . I work for a software company providing marketing solutions and strategic consulting and can’t believe I get paid to do this..,LOL I believe women want a guy to take it slow and want a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T, just little bit, go on get down with your bad self. Also a little romance and affection sprinkled with dash of charm never seemed to hurt me with the ladies. Email me if want to peel back the covers…….to get to know me, what were you thinking ;-)

 

[al77]

Re: Updated profile revamped the whole thing

Originally posted by MinusoneAFC
Let me know what ya think, still working on shedding the afc skin.

Title: Sane, Brilliant, healthy, and super good looking…….

Intro: Yes I own a striped shirt but I know how to wear, inside out. About me. I usually read the last chapter of the book first so I know how it ends, but if you got the cliff notes cough ’em up. I check the mail in my Calvin Klein boxers, gotta practice my runway moves for GQ magazine. I’m sure I have a dozen movie and library fines in at least 20 states. I consider myself sane, healthy, smart, brilliant, super good looking... . I work for a software company providing marketing solutions and strategic consulting and can’t believe I get paid to do this..,LOL I believe women want a guy to take it slow and want a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T, just little bit, go on get down with your bad self. Also a little romance and affection sprinkled with dash of charm never seemed to hurt me with the ladies. Email me if want to peel back the covers…….to get to know me, what were you thinking ;-)

1. "Title: Sane, Brilliant, healthy, and super good looking…….
Not many would get this. For example I didn't: it is either a trite or you come as too ****y.

2. "Intro: Yes I own a striped shirt but I know how to wear, inside out. " What does "Intro" supposed to mean?
And if you wear your shirt inside out.. hmm...what is it supposed to mean? You say some elitist things here since not any people whould get what you are talkign about.

3. "I usually read the last chapter of the book first so I know how it ends, but if you got the cliff notes cough ’em up."
Is it something funny? or ****y? or it says somehting about your personality? Again not sure what you want to say by it. Can you simplify it a bit?

4. "I check the mail in my Calvin Klein boxers, gotta practice my runway moves for GQ magazine"
Hmmm... you definitely have some unique sense of humor. If you check your mail in boxers...what does it say about you?
Do you model for GQ? It is not very clear what you want to say...

5. "I work for a software company providing marketing solutions and strategic consulting and can’t believe I get paid to do this..,LOL"...Hmmm...you state some boring line about your job,
and you can't believe you get paid for that? So why is ti funny?
First of all women dont give shvt what exactly you do for work... especially if it is somehting boring or if you say it is boring.
Try to make it sound non-boring at least.... at least sound!

6. "to hurt me with" it has a negative image. Consider changing it to a positive one..

7. In general you come up as ****y with "mysterious" humor that is hard to understand. First of all, you have to be understood. Then add c&f in a little bit more "simplied" way.

8. The length of the profile is fine.