Let me start with one undoubtedly true fact: every philosophy has its imperfections. You can clearly see that when studying Zenon for example. By the term "imperfection" I mean the unclear parts, or those who can be doubted. Same goes to the whole Don Juan theory. Only by discussion with no preoccupation can truth be found. So all I ask of you is to free yourselves from any previous knowledge, therefore preoccupation, and start all over again, as if you were uninitiated. I urge you to reply, comment, be totally free with criticism. The more questions, the better. Besides, that's what the forums are all about.
I have some recollection about one of Pook's articles about masculinity. It's a great post, but I have some other points to make.
I don't believe that a truly "masculine" man will be showing off his power and influence. Contrarily, such thing would indicate lack of confidence. A truly confident Alpha male is not the show-off jerk. He is not the self righteous prick.
All that are valid, because a true Man knows he has the power, therefore he needs not prove anything to anyone through behavior that is too bold. Imagine a powerful man, who is his own boss, who has his own company and who knows his job perfectly, but has no clue about computers. Would he ever walk into a computer store and try to display his power? No. He would walk into that store and inquire, asking for the salesman's opinion and evaluating what he has learned, without the tone of arrogance. Sould he somehow be displeased with anything concerning that place, he would politely refuse their offers and leave, seeking what is good for himself and his company.
The same principles can be successfully applied to women, who have heard the illusionary strong men brag. A truly secure man, in my opinion, is never afraid to look into peoples eyes in a straight way; not with a hard-hearted look, but with a calm and evaluating one. I do that all the time (now that I have read some stuff here, at sosuave,com). Allow me to talk in first person from now on.
Another thing I do is I don't afraid of a situation in which, for example, I don't know something, or I am not sure about something. What I do is I ahndle it. When in a high level conversation, one does not know everything. So I'm not embarassed about it, like AFCs are. I inquire, which by definition means "ask to learn". That doen't take my confidence away, I use it to my benefit -self improvement, remember?
Same thing when I'm out with women. I'm not mean to anyone, but I don't kiss anyone's ass either. And the most important thing: I never look down on somebody. Some may say this sounds a lot like AFC, but it doesn't. I heave some very powerful examples that show that one must never underestimate his fellow man. That way I can also learn something I didn't know, or pass on my knowledge. That is the method Socrates used and he never failed. Why do you think he said that "I'm certain of only one thing, that I know nothing", when the Delphi oracle told him that he is the wisest man on earth? He said that because he wasn't self righteous and he never underestimeted anything. In fact, as soon as he was told that, he went up to polititians, orators, poets, searching the proof that the oracle was wrong.
Where am I getting at? With such an attitude, I can start any conversation easily, and carry on till the end of time (if the other person is willing to do so). This includes women. If they see that I don't underestimate their intelligence, they are more likely to talk to me freely. Be careful here: this doen't mean leading her to believe that she is the smatrest person on earth. You are the one who leads the conversation, but in a subtle manner. By asking the rigtht questions, I can convey any message I want and make anyone believe anything I want. The best part is the she is the one who reaches the conclusion that I believe is right, while I am not the one who dictated it to her. Of course, this doesn't work with small talk.
To sum up, always feel that YOU have the power. I believe it, I've made this feeling part of my way of thinking. Remember the days when you had to sit an exam. Ever noticed that guy who calmly waited both for the test and the results. When asked "why are you not nervous", he'd reply "I'll get the kind of mark that is in conjunction with the stydying I've done". You can't hope for an "A" when you don't remember the color of your book. If you don't expect miracles to happen, you are automatically confident. And if a miracle does happen, it's ok to be surprised. Think that the girl is a mathematical problem and you are taking an Algebra test. If you have studied and know how to solve it, you are not fail the test, therefore you are not going to spend the night alone. That is an example of how can your everyday life be associated with dating.
In order to convey my message more accurately, I'm going to use the most convincing example: if I tell you to punch a board of wood, you'll probably break your fingers. But have you ever thought how do those TAEKWONDO athletes do it? It's all about confidence. If you know that you have what it takes (speed, good tecnique) to brake that board, you will do so. I've seen a 6-year old fellow break a 3cm thick board (which I was holding) into pieces with his fist that seemed like the only thing it can break is an Easter chocolate egg. How did he do it? His teacher told him to. Being such a small boy, he daren't doubt his teacher, therefore he thought "if the teacher says so, I can do it and I must do it". So he did it. Those are the true results of confidence.
We, adults, have lost this asset of truly believing in something. We doubt. And that's bad when it comes to daring.
I've got more things to say, but only after a reply with as much criticism as it can bare. Thank you for your time.
I have some recollection about one of Pook's articles about masculinity. It's a great post, but I have some other points to make.
I don't believe that a truly "masculine" man will be showing off his power and influence. Contrarily, such thing would indicate lack of confidence. A truly confident Alpha male is not the show-off jerk. He is not the self righteous prick.
All that are valid, because a true Man knows he has the power, therefore he needs not prove anything to anyone through behavior that is too bold. Imagine a powerful man, who is his own boss, who has his own company and who knows his job perfectly, but has no clue about computers. Would he ever walk into a computer store and try to display his power? No. He would walk into that store and inquire, asking for the salesman's opinion and evaluating what he has learned, without the tone of arrogance. Sould he somehow be displeased with anything concerning that place, he would politely refuse their offers and leave, seeking what is good for himself and his company.
The same principles can be successfully applied to women, who have heard the illusionary strong men brag. A truly secure man, in my opinion, is never afraid to look into peoples eyes in a straight way; not with a hard-hearted look, but with a calm and evaluating one. I do that all the time (now that I have read some stuff here, at sosuave,com). Allow me to talk in first person from now on.
Another thing I do is I don't afraid of a situation in which, for example, I don't know something, or I am not sure about something. What I do is I ahndle it. When in a high level conversation, one does not know everything. So I'm not embarassed about it, like AFCs are. I inquire, which by definition means "ask to learn". That doen't take my confidence away, I use it to my benefit -self improvement, remember?
Same thing when I'm out with women. I'm not mean to anyone, but I don't kiss anyone's ass either. And the most important thing: I never look down on somebody. Some may say this sounds a lot like AFC, but it doesn't. I heave some very powerful examples that show that one must never underestimate his fellow man. That way I can also learn something I didn't know, or pass on my knowledge. That is the method Socrates used and he never failed. Why do you think he said that "I'm certain of only one thing, that I know nothing", when the Delphi oracle told him that he is the wisest man on earth? He said that because he wasn't self righteous and he never underestimeted anything. In fact, as soon as he was told that, he went up to polititians, orators, poets, searching the proof that the oracle was wrong.
Where am I getting at? With such an attitude, I can start any conversation easily, and carry on till the end of time (if the other person is willing to do so). This includes women. If they see that I don't underestimate their intelligence, they are more likely to talk to me freely. Be careful here: this doen't mean leading her to believe that she is the smatrest person on earth. You are the one who leads the conversation, but in a subtle manner. By asking the rigtht questions, I can convey any message I want and make anyone believe anything I want. The best part is the she is the one who reaches the conclusion that I believe is right, while I am not the one who dictated it to her. Of course, this doesn't work with small talk.
To sum up, always feel that YOU have the power. I believe it, I've made this feeling part of my way of thinking. Remember the days when you had to sit an exam. Ever noticed that guy who calmly waited both for the test and the results. When asked "why are you not nervous", he'd reply "I'll get the kind of mark that is in conjunction with the stydying I've done". You can't hope for an "A" when you don't remember the color of your book. If you don't expect miracles to happen, you are automatically confident. And if a miracle does happen, it's ok to be surprised. Think that the girl is a mathematical problem and you are taking an Algebra test. If you have studied and know how to solve it, you are not fail the test, therefore you are not going to spend the night alone. That is an example of how can your everyday life be associated with dating.
In order to convey my message more accurately, I'm going to use the most convincing example: if I tell you to punch a board of wood, you'll probably break your fingers. But have you ever thought how do those TAEKWONDO athletes do it? It's all about confidence. If you know that you have what it takes (speed, good tecnique) to brake that board, you will do so. I've seen a 6-year old fellow break a 3cm thick board (which I was holding) into pieces with his fist that seemed like the only thing it can break is an Easter chocolate egg. How did he do it? His teacher told him to. Being such a small boy, he daren't doubt his teacher, therefore he thought "if the teacher says so, I can do it and I must do it". So he did it. Those are the true results of confidence.
We, adults, have lost this asset of truly believing in something. We doubt. And that's bad when it comes to daring.
I've got more things to say, but only after a reply with as much criticism as it can bare. Thank you for your time.
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