Making the initiative.

[Alphachannel]

So I've known this girl for few months now, things between us seem to be great.. I know for a fact that she enjoys spending time and talking
just as much as I do.. even though we do most of the talking by texting or making phone calls since we live far from each other.
anyway, my problem is, I don't know when to call/text her first, how often should I initiate the conversation? and when do I need to wait for her to call first?

Once she admitted that she was tempted to call me, but she got shy and eventually didn't call because she thought I was busy for her..
and another time she called me and she was really mad because I'm ignoring her, she asked why didn't I call and said that she was waiting!! I had no idea she was waiting, I simply was playing hard to get and was extremely tempted to call..


playing hard to get and wait for her to initiate the conversation is getting frustrating, I just wanna call, what do you think I should do?

 

[stevo]

How old are the both of you?

If you are both of age then get her alone and escalate.

If you are not of age then call her when you feel like calling and wait for her to call you too. Give and Take.

 

[Alphachannel]

How old are the both of you?

If you are both of age then get her alone and escalate.

If you are not of age then call her when you feel like calling and wait for her to call you too. Give and Take.

I'm 24, she's 22
you're right, however, I do call her when I feel like calling, but it would be nice if she started the conversation for once, I mean she does that ofc from time to time, I don't want to be the needy one who starts almost every conversation, no matter how we both enjoy it.
Thank you

 

[skinnyguy]

Make sure you're hitting up many other women since she's long distance. I had a long distance oneitis when I was around your age, wasted a whole year of my life

 

[Harry Wilmington]

What you need to do is stop for a second and figure out why you feel the need to call her in the first place.

What I have found is that most guys think they have to call because they've been brainwashed into believing that if they don't call a girl everyday, she's going to either get mad at him or lose interest. And yet, neither of those things is true, especially if you're dating a girl that's secure in herself and isn't needy.

However, the phone is supposed to be used as a tool to get DATES. Not to become one of her gossipy friends that will turn into one of her girl friends; not to waste hours on end trying to think up conversations that are pointless... no, the purpose of using the phone is to ask her out so you can have one-on-one interaction with her. THEY are supposed to be the ones to initiate calls "just to talk;" YOU, however, do it to get a DATE.

So, in answer to your question: you should feel compelled to call her when you're trying to set up a time to see her. Any other time you want to talk to her, she should be calling YOU. And you can tell them that - when I start dating new girls I give them the same speech: "I'm not much of a phone person, but if you call me I'll pick up or call you back when I'm not busy." The result? I don't have to figure out when to call them or what to talk about 'cause I've now made it THEIR job, and I can keep my phone calls to ones that involve me asking them out.

 

[Alphachannel]

Make sure you're hitting up many other women since she's long distance. I had a long distance oneitis when I was around your age, wasted a whole year of my life

fair enough, but the thing is, I do know lots of girls, some of them are even interested in me, but I don't care, all I care about is my girl, I find myself thinking about her even when I'm with other girls,..
I think that things between us are getting serious, and this long distance situation won't last long..

 

[Alphachannel]

What you need to do is stop for a second and figure out why you feel the need to call her in the first place.

What I have found is that most guys think they have to call because they've been brainwashed into believing that if they don't call a girl everyday, she's going to either get mad at him or lose interest. And yet, neither of those things is true, especially if you're dating a girl that's secure in herself and isn't needy.

However, the phone is supposed to be used as a tool to get DATES. Not to become one of her gossipy friends that will turn into one of her girl friends; not to waste hours on end trying to think up conversations that are pointless... no, the purpose of using the phone is to ask her out so you can have one-on-one interaction with her. THEY are supposed to be the ones to initiate calls "just to talk;" YOU, however, do it to get a DATE.

So, in answer to your question: you should feel compelled to call her when you're trying to set up a time to see her. Any other time you want to talk to her, she should be calling YOU. And you can tell them that - when I start dating new girls I give them the same speech: "I'm not much of a phone person, but if you call me I'll pick up or call you back when I'm not busy." The result? I don't have to figure out when to call them or what to talk about 'cause I've now made it THEIR job, and I can keep my phone calls to ones that involve me asking them out.

Thank you very much for that,
the long distance situation makes it more complicated since phone calls and texting is all we've got, it's not all pointless gossipy normal conversations..
I just don't know how often should I call, I know she expects me to, but I want her to make the effort too, do I tell her that?

 

[stevo]

I'm 24, she's 22
you're right, however, I do call her when I feel like calling, but it would be nice if she started the conversation for once, I mean she does that ofc from time to time, I don't want to be the needy one who starts almost every conversation, no matter how we both enjoy it.
Thank you

Oh wow.

Ok you are both old enough. Approach is different.

Hit her up one last time, SCHEDULE A DATE.

Do not initiate after that. She would not initiate when she knows she can wait it out and you'd eventually break and hit her up.

If she enjoys your company she'd hit you up. Stop wondering when or why to hit her up, schedule a date, escalate. Include sexual tensions when you text and try to get into those panties.

Clock is ticking.