Making me "wait"

[bongo]

I've been seeing this cute girl for about a month now. We have made out a lot, the most intimate I've gotten with her is sucking her t!ts.

Each time I put my hand between her legs while making out, she closes her legs, as if to say we're not going there. I persist a little, but it is clear that she does not want to go any further.

My instinct is telling me that I am being used as a "comfort" guy, while she gets sex from someone else. It is hard for me to believe that a girl who is genuinely interested and attracted will turn down sex each time. She just doesn't see me that way.

It sucks, we had a great vibe going on. My mistake was not to be spinning plates simultaneously. I never acted needy or clingy though. Most of the time she was the one asking me out and not vice versa.

I guess next time she asks to do something, if ever(cause I will not contact her anymore), I am going to say "Yes, cause we need to have a talk".

Do I sit down with her and find out what the problem is? Or just tell her directly that it's a better idea for us to not see eachother again for x reason?

 

[Iceberg]

I wouldn't discuss it with her.

If her emotions aren't guiding her down the path of having sex with you, I doubt there's anything your words can do. It's not like you'll have a logical discussion with her, and then she'll be like, "Now that I understand your side of things, I definitely want to bang."

If you're getting some kind of sexual action, I'd say that it's okay to be somewhat patient. So, you've been dating her for about a month (3-4 weeks). By my standards, that means that you've been on 3 or 4 dates. But that's just me...maybe you're the type to see a girl 3 times per week. And if it's 3 or 4 dates, there's a chance that she'll open up by date#5.

If she weren't giving you ANYTHING, like just making out, then I'd say she's a waste of time. But if you're getting her clothes off, then maybe it's worth another crack.

But if you're feeling like she's playing games with you, then cut her off. Nothing bruises a girl's ego more than a man going No Contact. Especially if that man has seen her naked. Then, maybe she'll think that she has competition, and she'll step up her game to keep you.

 

[bukowski_merit]

Each time I put my hand between her legs while making out, she closes her legs, as if to say we're not going there. I persist a little, but it is clear that she does not want to go any further.

Sounds like she has low sex drive and is for sure psychologically disturbed.

She's keeping you trapped in a constant 101 (or push-pull-push if you prefer). This maintains her power over you; and every time she turns down the escalation attempt - she is gaining more power over you. So much so that it's driving you crazy enough to come on here for advice.

My advice: Find another chick.

My instinct is telling me that I am being used as a "comfort" guy, while she gets sex from someone else. It is hard for me to believe that a girl who is genuinely interested and attracted will turn down sex each time. She just doesn't see me that way.

Stop! You're putting masculine logic into something that makes no sense (her thought process.) Her 101 on you has caused you to become crazy about her. So much so that you're imagining that there must be some other guy who's not there for "comfort" for her. This imaginary guy probably has a bigger penis and fvcks her for hours on end as well?

Listen... it's better to not think of why she is doing what she is doing beyond just seeing that she is doing it. I'm not saying she is or isn't; but it should not be your concern.

A woman makes out but won't go any further over and over = just get rid of her and move on. It's the only solution that makes sense (and it must be said but should not be the goal - but, you abandoning her "may" result in her coming around.)

Every once in a while I come across a girl like this too. I won't waste much time past a 2nd-3rd meetup. If all she wants to do is 2nd/3rd base stuff - i'll move on easy. And what becomes clear when you're dealing with one of these girls is THEY ARE VERY GOOD AT WALKING TO THE LINE WITHOUT GOING OVER IT. Which is what "can" pull you in if you're not careful (you have not been careful.) They can mindfvck a man to stay with them for years, and have control/power over him; just by constantly going to that edge but never (or rarely) going over...

Professional teases are almost always disturbed.

It sucks, we had a great vibe going on. My mistake was not to be spinning plates simultaneously. I never acted needy or clingy though. Most of the time she was the one asking me out and not vice versa.

There's nothing wrong with her asking you to do things. That shows interest on her part (even more proof that there's something wrong with her.)

I guess next time she asks to do something, if ever(cause I will not contact her anymore), I am going to say "Yes, cause we need to have a talk".

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Man says: "Can we have a talk?"
Woman hears: "Can you come fvck with my brain some more?"

Do I sit down with her and find out what the problem is? Or just tell her directly that it's a better idea for us to not see each other again for x reason?

If a man has a machine gun pointed at your head and you are going to kick him in the balls... Will you first say, "I am going to kick you in the balls now!" ???? No! You just do it.

So.... Don't sit her down - she will just fvck with your head (either by accepting it, or by acting like she's "just not ready" or some other dumb manipulation attempt.) Just stop communicating with her... Unless she suddenly gives in and clearly states she will fvck you. DO NOT ask her to; do not tell her that's the only way you guys can have relations; do not tell her anything! Just move on and move on quickly! What happens from there can only be positive.

 

[ezio]

I was in the exact situation a while ago, the girl is definitely being ****ed by some other guy however in my case i knew for a fact plus the guy was a drinking buddy of mine but the girl had no idea i knew abt the second guy lol ..atm your girl is stringing you along, what you have to do is spin other plates so you're not exclusively dependent on her for.while you spin other plates you can decide to continue with her and see how it goes. or you can invite her over to your place try to make out then act pissed off when she refuses. tell her you can't continue plus you need some time to reconsider your relationship with her. if she doesn't offer any reasonable explanation for a behaviour what you have to do is find an excuse to get her out of your house fast then go NC..

 

[nismo-4]

Hope is the life of the AFC.

If a woman was sexually interested in you, she wouldn't have blocked you. Last minute resistance is the ultimate IOD.

Women don't think logically. She's not sexually interested in you. Talking to her won't do any good that is for you.

Spin more plates and let this girl go. Your princess is in another castle. She is a dikteasing attention wh0re. Sorry.

Judge nismo is gonna send you to Nopoonani, Tennessee. While there, I hereby order you to read the sticky thread as well as it's sequel.

Case closed.

 

[Tortendieb]

I had the same thing happening as well.

To be honest, after the 3rd time of not getting any, I was just bored out of my mind and left her. No way in hell I was going to make so much time for her in my busy work schedule, and then go home late at night unsatisfied.

Has this happened to you: you've been doing foreplay for HOURS but she won't let you, then you give up and go to sleep together. But you can't sleep because you're horny. And she can't either. But she won't let you. Torture! Man, if this happens too often it's time to get out of there. On second thought, I should just have started wanking before her and see her reaction

 

[EvilAgenda]

Just some things to keep in mind:

1. How old is she?
2. Is she a virgin?
3. Patience is the refined sense of confidence.

A month does seem to be too long.

 

[Pair A Dice]

Don't discuss it with her. Let her make the next move and if she doesn't, oh well. You'll find out that most women who make you wait, aren't worth the wait.

 

[MasterFuu]

Reminds me of chick she waited 1.5 months (10-12 dates) till she slept w me. Like one of the replies suggested mine was emotionally disturbed (found out during break up stage).

If she waits very long she might have some kind of intimacy disorder. Especially if she is in her mid-late twenties or older. If she is really young well then maybe she could be shy or coming from a tight household. Maybe she would need more time to get comfy with you.
But my advise to you is not to drop her keep her maybe she will sleep with you but go get out ASAP and start looking for more chicks. Never , ever keep all eggs in one basket. I've done that mistake before it always fires badly at you.

 

[SSBS]

On second thought, I should just have started wanking before her and see her reaction

I've thought this very same thing before. Might be worth a shot. The shock value might jump start things, or could lead to jail too I suppose.

Maybe just go to the bathroom and pound one out. Let her know exactly what you are going to do as well, or tell her after you get back.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I have a similar problem:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=192736

The best solution and the one I suggest to you is keep meeting this girl (you never know) but at the same time date other girls so in case its a NO from her you deprived yourself of pvssy for those days.
At the same time the odds she finally put out even if few are still there.

 

[LostAndConfused]

Next her.

It's 2012, if she's not giving it up to you she's giving it up to someone else. @Bukowski, his masculine logic is probably right.