Making me wait for sex, I walk away; rant

[sirkjd]

Hey guys,

Just a rant..

Met a girl from my class last semester (3 months ago). I don't date chicks often and really liked this one.

Thought I was doing good, kept a dominant frame the whole time.

She asked a lot sexual questions about me during the first date, but I kept the vibe non-sexual (especially due to my inexperience).

Date 1, K close. Date 2 Make out again.

Date 3 came, I escalated things. She gives me LMR.

And I always got LMR since that day. (3 months later).

I have never discussed how I felt about this, always communicated covertly. Pretended I didn't care.

Eventually I noticed she sorta became a bit more distant, did not initiate much anymore.

She took lots of time to reply to my invitations. For the longest while I was starting to believe that I was maybe just not giving her enough comfort and should tone down my ****y & funny vibe.

Then last weekend I read Rollo Tomassi's rule #3 about waiting for sex and it hit me:

Actions speak louder than words. She just isn't interested in me much. So I decided to completely stop initiating contact with.


She pinged me texts since then, sending me kisses, etc. But I just replied "Thanks! Hope you're having a good day".

She probably hoped that I suck up to this and chase her again.

But I don't.

I noticed she posts slightly emo facebook status' such as "So this is why we don't talk anymore .. Cause you'll always be waiting to settle the score." and a few more claiming that she is tired of experienceing meaningless stuff" basically all passive aggressive vague stuff.


That's it. We've never discussed our emotions, never had a real ending. I kinda feel sad, but I believe it is best for me to leave it as is. I don't want to be settled as her back up guy... (although there is not other proof than her making me wait)..

End of rant..

 

[DonGorgon]

she had other dudes she was Fing that she was more physically attracted to than you..

 

[sirkjd]

Yup, wouldn't be surprised

 

[nismo-4]

^^^ Read this again!!

And then you need to understand that women give LMR because you're not handsome or rich enough for her.

Women always choose who gets sex and who doesn't. Her body is for sale and it goes to the highest and best looking bidders. Women decide how far you'll get with them very early and they choose their feelings.

Also, your bulletproof game and charming personality doesn't make you any wealthier or any better looking to a woman. Sorry.

Women sell the promise of sex to men and then don't follow all the way through with it because she's not sexually attracted to you. Therefore, your princess is in another castle.

Cheer up, it happens. If you can, just find ways to make more money. Hey, the best looking guys and richest guys choose their women and hardly fail. And women always have options. Hundreds. You need to do the same. Judge nismo's ruling.

Case closed.

 

[sirkjd]

Valid points. thanks. Although in my case, wealth is def. not an issue. My looks as well.

I believe I wasn't sexual enough early.

 

[evansblue]

It's impossible to tell what the girl was thinking. Regardless, I think you handled the situation fine. Maybe she was prude and thought you moved too fast, who knows.

More fish in the sea!

 

[Alle_Gory]

You did good. You did not reveal your cards or play into anything. You kept your mouth shut and controlled the message.

Good job. Can't win them all but you can control how you respond.

 

[yuppaz]

She was hinting on facebook that she wanted a relationship and not just sex. I get that but 3 months is sooooo extreme I don't blame you for wanting out.

 

[nightcrawler]

lmao @ replies.

you people really need to stop expecting women to hand you their pussies on silver platters.

simply put, she didn't trust you enough. She gave you a chance, and you blew it. Perhaps tone down the "dominant frame" part and she might give you a chance. In her own way (and folly) she decided to keep giving you chances (texts etc.) but you're so concerned about keeping a dominant frame and her just handing you the ***** on a silver platter that in the end she just said "**** it he's an idiot"

girls smell fakeness a mile away...and you my friend, reek of fake.

 

[bongo]

This is exactly the situation I am in, only you've been dating her for a bit longer.

I too am confused about this, and it sucks cause we have a great vibe going but my instincts are telling me that she's using me as a comfort guy. It's tough when you really like the girl.

She is probably scared about being used due to past experiences. Maybe a bit psychologically disturbed? She needs to trust you first. But then again, she may be fvcking other dudes or that other dude, while using you as a teddy bear or ego boost, you never know.

I say start spinning more plates, have options. Then you will automatically start caring less. But don't walk away... yet. Some are just weary about a guy's intentions.

I'll keep an eye on this thread cause I'm in a similar situation.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Iron Rule of Tomassi #3

Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.

When a woman makes you wait for sex you are not her highest priority. Sexuality is spontaneous chemical reaction between two parties, not a process of negotiation. It’s sex first, then relationship, not the other way around. A woman who wants to ƒuck you will find a way to ƒuck you. She will fly across the country, crawl under barbwire, climb in through your second story bedroom window, ƒuck the shît out of you and wait patiently inside your closet if your wife comes home early from work – women who want to ƒuck will find a way to ƒuck The girl who tells you she needs to be comfortable and wants a relationship first is the same girl who ƒucked the hot guy in the foam cannon party in Cancun on spring break just half an hour after meeting him.

If a girl is that into you she’ll have sex with you regardless of ASD or having her friends in the room videotaping it at a frat party. All women can be sluts, you just have to be the right guy to bring it out in them, and this happens before you go back to her place. If you have to plead your case cuddling and spooning on the bed or getting the occasional peck on the cheek at the end of the night, you need to go back to square one and start fresh.



https://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/09/23/wait-for-it/

 

[Iceberg]

lmao @ replies.

you people really need to stop expecting women to hand you their pussies on silver platters.

simply put, she didn't trust you enough. She gave you a chance, and you blew it. Perhaps tone down the "dominant frame" part and she might give you a chance. In her own way (and folly) she decided to keep giving you chances (texts etc.) but you're so concerned about keeping a dominant frame and her just handing you the ***** on a silver platter that in the end she just said "**** it he's an idiot"

How was this guy acting like he expected anything handed to him on a silver platter? He dedicated 3 months to dates, talking, and spending time with this girl. He put in the work.

She kept giving HIM chances? And what about him? He didn't give her chances? Seems like he gave her 3 months worth of chances.

You're so busy trying to sound "different" than the rest of us, that you're incapable of saying that the woman was wrong here. Or, not wrong. She simply didn't want the guy. You know that happens, right? Sometimes sh*t just doesn't work out.

girls smell fakeness a mile away...and you my friend, reek of fake

And you reek of bad advice. Which is why all your responses here are met with eye rolls and minimal attention.

 

[Serg897]

I recently had a similar experience. Girl would resist any time I tried to escalate, and so I would back off and withdraw most of my attention. Eventually she texts again, the cycle repeats itself. Its generally true that if a woman is really interested sex shouldnt be that far away (In my case I dont think this particular girl is very interested). However, I dont think this is true in all cases, and in fact Im seeing somewhat contradictory advice on this forum. Check out this recent thread.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=179346&page=3

Im aware that that thread is talking about the first date, but overall jist is that sex isnt the end-all be-all of things. If you are just looking for sex and go for that right away you will find someone eventually if you screen enough women, but you are potentially screening out women who would be good for a relationship.

 

[nightcrawler]

How was this guy acting like he expected anything handed to him on a silver platter? He dedicated 3 months to dates, talking, and spending time with this girl. He put in the work.

She kept giving HIM chances? And what about him? He didn't give her chances? Seems like he gave her 3 months worth of chances.

You're so busy trying to sound "different" than the rest of us, that you're incapable of saying that the woman was wrong here. Or, not wrong. She simply didn't want the guy. You know that happens, right? Sometimes sh*t just doesn't work out.




And you reek of bad advice. Which is why all your responses here are met with eye rolls and minimal attention.

so basically she was on his class for 3 months and they went on 3 dates and that's putting work on it? lol

I can bet you anything the girl was thinking the whole time "why is he putting this dominant front for?" ...like i said girls smell fake miles away

You can say what you want about me...the fact of the matter is that in the 5 years I've been here nothing's changed yet people keep providing the same advice and solutions. Fine then I don't care I just come here for lulz cuz I'm unemployeed

 

[Thatfeel21]

In my experience, the only woman who made me wait for sex after hanging with her multiple times was a young 20yr old...after awhile she pretty much friendzoned me..lesson i learned was that if youre doing all of the right things and shes still not letting you hit it, then just walk away

 

[Thatfeel21]

And yeah, Serg is right on! If a girl is interested, she'll eventually put out. If youre stuck on the same "base" for weeks, then despite what you do, itll NEVER escalate any further.

 

[sirkjd]

Nightcrawler; I have been on much more than 3 dates with this chick. We went out more or less once a week for 3 months. Also she wasn't in my class for 3 months, we started dating at the end of last semester. She isn't in any of classes now.

I never committed fully, as I was at least semi aware that sex should come before a relationship.

Valid point on fakeness though. I admit I was a bit more gamey than I should have. I believe that what I was lacking was a mix of comfort and seduction. I waited til date 3 before escalating things above just making out.

Sucks! But I know deep down that if I spinned more plates, I wouldn't tolerate this and probably wouldn't give a crap about it.

I recommend reading Rollo's wordpress blog posts. They have enlightenment me very much.

 

[nightcrawler]

Nightcrawler; I have been on much more than 3 dates with this chick. We went out once a week for 3 months.

I never committed fully, as I was at least semi aware that sex should come before a relationship.

Valid point on fakeness though. I admit I was a bit more gamey than I should have. I believe that what I was lacking was a mix of comfort and seduction. I waited til date 3 before escalating things above just making out.

Sucks! But I know deep down that if I spinned more plates, I wouldn't tolerate this and probably wouldn't give a crap about it.

I recommend reading Rollo's wordpress blog posts. They have enlightenment me very much.

Of course dude...like I said girls smell false bravado miles away.

You weren't lacking anything my friend...your problem is that you were overcompescating and trying to impress the girl.

What were you trying to overcompescate for? are you secretly worried that you're not good enough for the female as you are?

Women don't like men with secret agendas...and that whole bravado building rappor taking me out once a week and not bothering to get to know me is is just that...a secret agenda you have set for yourself for the purposes of who knows what.

Judging by the post rollo made here I am certain reading his blog is pure of pure self-entitled, "I don't want to work for a female cuz the way I see it she would put out for brad pitt on the spot so since she doesn't think I'm brad pitt it's not worh my effort so I'll just get more numbers and more dates and hope a girl thinks I'm brad pitt" alpha male type of crap.

Stay away from that imo. You're not brad pitt...and if you really feel like you're entitled to vagina simply cuz you look good and act like the epitome of what a man should be guess what...you'll continue on the philosophy of "next her I got more plates"...and by more plates i mean just numbers on your phone that mean nothing other than potential rejection...you know why?...cuz women don't need you or your epitome of a male crap because a woman is just fine as she is looking in the mirror and looking good 24/7 and knowing that yea..she's ****ing hot and can get any man if she wanted to any time she wants to.

you wanna know what spinning platers really is dude? having more than 1 female deeply in love with you at the same time and going psycho over your attention. That my friend, is really "spinning plates"

 

[yuppaz]

^^^What nightcrawler said > way better real world advice then you're gonna find on most of this site.

 

[sirkjd]

Of course dude...like I said girls smell false bravado miles away.

You weren't lacking anything my friend...your problem is that you were overcompescating and trying to impress the girl.

What were you trying to overcompescate for? are you secretly worried that you're not good enough for the female as you are?

Women don't like men with secret agendas...and that whole bravado building rappor taking me out once a week and not bothering to get to know me is is just that...a secret agenda you have set for yourself for the purposes of who knows what.

Judging by the post rollo made here I am certain reading his blog is pure of pure self-entitled, "I don't want to work for a female cuz the way I see it she would put out for brad pitt on the spot so since she doesn't think I'm brad pitt it's not worh my effort so I'll just get more numbers and more dates and hope a girl thinks I'm brad pitt" alpha male type of crap.

Stay away from that imo. You're not brad pitt...and if you really feel like you're entitled to vagina simply cuz you look good and act like the epitome of what a man should be guess what...you'll continue on the philosophy of "next her I got more plates"...and by more plates i mean just numbers on your phone that mean nothing other than potential rejection...you know why?...cuz women don't need you or your epitome of a male crap because a woman is just fine as she is looking in the mirror and looking good 24/7 and knowing that yea..she's ****ing hot and can get any man if she wanted to any time she wants to.

you wanna know what spinning platers really is dude? having more than 1 female deeply in love with you at the same time and going psycho over your attention. That my friend, is really "spinning plates"

I appreciate the advice.

Again though, I am not blaming the girl for not putting out. I know I have done something wrong at the beginning which caused her to give me LMR's. I am the one to blame at all times for things that happen in my life. I realize this chick's Interest level is only depreciating after the Date 3 LMR. Time to move on, I accept this.

As for the secret agenda thing, I see what you mean. But I didn't want to put more effort into a chick that isn't into me. If she hadn't LMR'd me, I would've progressed it more of course. The whole problem was my own actions prior to the date 3 LMR. Which was IMO a lack of comfort and seduction. And yes, like you said, I believe I was too "fake" and "gamey" at that point.

I also understand that Rollo's post sounds a bit rough, but I recommend reading his blog with an open mind. Nothing in his messages indicate that we should consider ourselves as brad pitts and that men are better than women, etc. He simply explains us rationally, how women perceive us. It is up to his reader to believe him or not. But from my point of view, everything he wrote makes sense. I had a hard time swallowing a few of it because it can be a bit ego crushing. But let's be real, if I played it well enough, I wouldn't have gotten LMR'd. Plus, she wouldn't have slowed down on her initiations after that. Pursuing her would be like holding on a depreciating stock until it reaches 0.