Making friends, meeting girls in college? Help?

[whashgood11]

I find myself 3 weeks into college at a study hard, party harder school, and I am yet to hook up with a girl, and I am almost certain that I drank more alcohol in the last weekend before I came to college than I have while I've been here. My college experience has not been what I expected, to say the least.

I can put it into a formula that builds off of itself. I have had trouble making friends>The friends I have made are people on my hall with whom I'm neither particularly close, nor people who I enjoy going out and partying with > When I DO go out with these people we don't get approached by attractive girls, because obviously girls want to meet people who look fun, and the guys I have hung out with are neither particularly fun nor particularly good looking (no homo).

I don't see my problem in my game/ability to attract girls, as I am pretty good looking and go to the gym pretty much every day. Also, during the day, whether it is in classes, around campus, at the gym, or whatever, I flirt with attractive girls, get looks from them/etc. I see my problem in maybe in the past I relied too much on my friends, and not enough on myself. Without a solid, fun group of friends at college, I find it hard to "invite a group of girls over to my room to pre game before going out". And then what? It's just me and a kind of weird group of guys, and then I'll never hear from those girls again.

I feel like there's a side of me, a super fun, funny side which I expressed every day when I hung out with my friends at home or in school with girls because I always knew there'd be someone to laugh at what I did/the jokes I made, yet haven't been able to express here because I would look like an idiot.

Anyway, I realize this was pretty ****ing long, but I'm not feeling too confident right now, so any help or advice you give is appreciated.

 

[Kenny Powers]

I'm kinda over posting on this site as my advice usually gets lost in the dozen or so other posts on any given thread, granted many of them offer better advice than mine. However as someone who recently graduated i can relate to what you are going through and hope you take heed of my advice.

First off its just the first 3 weeks, you have 4 more years of this, chill out, relax and have fun. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to succeed, especially with girls.

That being said you should make a concerted effort to make friends. Now is the time when groups of friends are established at college and while they are prone to change, now is the easiest and best time to make friends. Don't ditch the guys you're with because to be brutally honest you need back-up friends. Don't settle though. I was kind of a dork coming into college and was just happy to have friends so i settled for the first guys that would let me hang with them. I later realized they were only doing so cause they too were happy to have friends. I honestly believe their poor social skills held me back in college (not that mine were great - at first anyways).

So do make an effort to get cool friends. I'm not the best person to ask about how to do this, but I think you're best bet is to show that you are a fun person to be around and like to party. Be laid back and most importantly don't try to hard - people hate this! Ask some cool guys on you're floor (it's been proven that most people make friends with those who live near them and not based on compatibility) where the party is, then meet them there and show them how fun you are. Then try to pre-game with them and bring some alcohol for everyone. Act confident and natural as if you belong in the group. Don't be the weird quiet guy! A great way to impress them and gain value in their eyes is to show you are good with girls. Talk to girls at parties in front of them, introduce them, invite girls to pregame with you guys. I know it sounds gay but nothing impresses other guys more than being confident and good with girls.

If you fail to make new friends, stick with the ones you got and try to help them become more fun and better with girls. If this is too difficult, invite girls over to pregame and just be the life of the party, if the alcohol is flowing and you are making everyone laugh then they won't even notice you're lame friends.

Sorry for the long and at times gay post, but as with girls to get good friends you really have to make the effort. Be outgoing, social, confident, and most importantly cool. If you need friends now is not the time for all that be yourself crap. Try to be like the guys you want to hang with - in this case peer pressure and group think are you're best friend. I know it seems contradictory since i'm also telling you to be confident and natural, but that is the sad reality of the world we live in. People are shallow and stupid and don't want to be around people who they consider weird or different.

 

[whashgood11]

Thanks for the advice man. I read it soon after I posted originally but haven't gotten around to posting a response til now. I'm definitely having a better time at this point, and I've made some more friends, although none of them are as cool and fun as my friends from home.

Now my problem. Besides one guy who I would say is my best friend here so far, the people I've been mostly hanging out with are girls (which is worse than it sounds). One of them is like some distant cousin of mine, which is how we met. Unfortunately, among her (and now I suppose my) group of friends, she is the most attractive, which is to say that I wouldn't get with any of the girls I am friends with. How bad/good is it to have friends that are mostly girls?

More pressing is that I was invited by an older friend in a frat to a private mixer with a sorority later tonight, and was told to bring some of my friends who might also be interested in joining the frat. Unfortunately for me, my one good (guy) friend who I would otherwise go with is gone for the weekend, so I don't know what to do. I have other not close guy friends who aren't very cool, and I could ask them if they're interested in coming, but at the same time I think that might reflect badly on me and make ME look weird to the guys in the frat.

I could try to bring 3 or 4 of my friends who are girls, which is probably fine with the guys in the frat even though for the most part they aren't' particularly attractive, but I bet this would piss off the girls there.

Anyway, any advice would be helpful.

 

[btownbuck2012]

I find myself 3 weeks into college at a study hard, party harder school, and I am yet to hook up with a girl, and I am almost certain that I drank more alcohol in the last weekend before I came to college than I have while I've been here. My college experience has not been what I expected, to say the least.

I can put it into a formula that builds off of itself. I have had trouble making friends>The friends I have made are people on my hall with whom I'm neither particularly close, nor people who I enjoy going out and partying with > When I DO go out with these people we don't get approached by attractive girls, because obviously girls want to meet people who look fun, and the guys I have hung out with are neither particularly fun nor particularly good looking (no homo).

I don't see my problem in my game/ability to attract girls, as I am pretty good looking and go to the gym pretty much every day. Also, during the day, whether it is in classes, around campus, at the gym, or whatever, I flirt with attractive girls, get looks from them/etc. I see my problem in maybe in the past I relied too much on my friends, and not enough on myself. Without a solid, fun group of friends at college, I find it hard to "invite a group of girls over to my room to pre game before going out". And then what? It's just me and a kind of weird group of guys, and then I'll never hear from those girls again.

I feel like there's a side of me, a super fun, funny side which I expressed every day when I hung out with my friends at home or in school with girls because I always knew there'd be someone to laugh at what I did/the jokes I made, yet haven't been able to express here because I would look like an idiot.

Anyway, I realize this was pretty ****ing long, but I'm not feeling too confident right now, so any help or advice you give is appreciated.

OP,

Dude, you're at college to get a degree. Period. The media has hyped up college to the point where most people think of it as nothing but a 24/7 booze fest. It's not.

People that spend their 4, or in some cases 5 or 6, years at college trying to live up to the 'party' image usually leave worse off than they started. College is ridiculously expensive and you're upset that you haven't fvcked since you've been down there? C'mon man. You need to be smart about this whole thing.

Don't get me wrong. It'll be a lonely 4 years if you don't make any friends BUT trying to find them through endless kegs of beer and bottles of vodka isn't the right way to go about it. Find out if your specific school or major has any student groups associated with it. Join an intramural league. Do w/e you gotta do. Just don't think you have to live up to the media's definition of what college is supposed to be like. This is YOUR life, live it the way you want.

I'm not gonna lie to you and say that I've never gotten fvcked up in college. I have. Quite a bit during my sophomore year. However, it never left me feeling satisfied. I always felt empty when I woke up after a night of hardcore partying. You think fvcking some random girl in a bathroom is gonna take away all your worries and problems? What happens when you bump into her on campus a month or two later and feel totally disgusted? What happens if she claims she never gave consent and you raped her? Get my point dude?

Be smart man.