Maintaining high interest levels

[Martin001]

I met a girl last week. Got her phone number, we chatted and text each other throughout last week, there was definetely attraction there. We had agreed to meet up this week but had not specified an actual date.

For the past few days I have being trying to set down an actual date with her, but now she has flaked out to the point where I have already nexted her as I could tell she's not interested any more. I put this down to my inability to maintain a high interest level.

My question is this:
What do you guys think is a good way of maintaining a high interest levels without a) going overboard and pushing her away or b) not giving her enough attention to the point that she just goes and finds some other guy.

Thanks

Martin

 

[MushroomGod]

Instadates when you meet her change the venue right then and there. This way the first date is out of the way and you're not just a guy she met you become a guy she's hung out with.

 

[DonGorgon]

^^^So true dates need to be set up as quick as possible before bantering on the phone and texting

 

[Martin001]

I agree but I met her when she was working as a receptionist and I had an interview so I didn't want to be too forward as it might have screwed up my chances of getting the job. Agreed though, sort out the first date as soon as possible.

 

[DonGorgon]

being forward cut BS and saves time.

 

[ready123]

high interest shows she was attracted in the moment, but your problem is flaking. something for you to play around w/...

qualify her when asking her out - find something genuinely interesting about her or a shared interest which explains WHY you wanna take her on a date, and vocalize it. "you like scary movies? that's awesome, most girls I know are only into chick flicks, you gotta come a movie w/ me, it'll be hella fun!"

or else during the follow up call she'll stereotype you as just another guy who's chasing the pvssy. because you haven't given her a reason to think otherwise

this has to do with developing connection/trust/rapport/comfort (or whatever people wanna call nowadays). the lack of is the reason for flaking

 

[Sam Adams]

I met a girl last week. Got her phone number, we chatted and text each other throughout last week, there was definetely attraction there. We had agreed to meet up this week but had not specified an actual date.

Martin

Don't chat on the phone or text. I hate texting I find it to be the most annoying thing. What I do after I get her number is I call her after a 2 or 3 days. I identify myself and ask her a simple question (how was your weekend?). I don't do this to chit chat I do this to relax her. Just a few quick easy questions and comments that shouldn't last more than a minute. It's a good way to qualify her too. For instance if she says I bought the new red hot chilli peppers CD, you can quickly mention how much you like them too. ONce the conversation isn't awkward and is starting to get interesting you break it off. I like to say something like, "look you sound like a cool girl and we both love the chilli peppers. I'd rather talk face to face because it's more personal. I'm busy all day tomorrow (say this even if you are just going to play video games, it demonstrates that your busy and not desperate) but I'm free after lunch the next day are you?"

Now try to set up your date. Don't be vague and give precise details. Never say let's watch a movie or something, you say what you two are going to do and when you are going to do it. Also don't be too enthusiastic because that can easily seem needy. End with something like "ok I will see you Tuesday" never say "Great I can not wait!" Just be calm and relaxed the whole time.