Maintain Focus.

[A-Unit]

Existence as ONE, requires duality.
Children are not born without a Male and Female.
Heads and tails.
Rich and poor.
Positive polarity and negative polarity.
Summer and winter.
Light and dark.

Without contrasts, we can't really have existence, because EXISTENCE implies NON-existence. Without DEATH, there can be no life. We cannot know what it means to LIVE without someone NOT living.

In focusing, many people focus on the wrong side, and therefore CREATE more of "that" because of where their focus is aimed.

In the case of APPROACHES, as an example, guys focus on REJECTIONS, instead of SUCCESSES. Well, some do. Here's why you should focus on the successes...in all areas, but understand there's a "batting average" to everything. Nothing is 100%.

It Taps Your Creative Resources.

When you believe in the POSSIBILITY, then your mind expands. When you don't believe in the possibility, YOUR mind contracts. All thought ceases to permeate your mind. However, if you raise up GOOD questions, such as...

How can I enjoy this?
How can I contribute to making this more fun?
What positive things can I be happy for?

And chew on such questions, you extract the greatest benefit/utility from something.

By seeking to MAKE THE BEST of any situation, you fully immerse yourself into, even if you're not INTENDING to be wherever you are. And then, you become a person of resourcefulness. Other's will just gripe and not make the best of it. YOU! won't! You will make the "best of what's around," and therefore can be "the life of the party." In most cases, that's how someone is the life of a party. In some, they're ego-maniacs seeking everyone's approval, thriving on everyone's approval. The two can be indistinguishable at times.

Whatever you Focus on Increases.

This is a biggie. In most cases, if you're seeking MORE rejections, you'll get them. And they're fine, but our GOAL isn't more rejections, it's more successes. It's more numbers, or more women, or more whatever. The odds might be 1 in 20, or 1 in 10 that a girl coughs up a number, so what. Over time, you'll get better and make it 1 in 5, or 1 in 2, because you'll ONLY approach a girl you have moderate chemistry to be her friend, and when you're not needy, SHE'LL want you. If at the very least, you approached girls whom were someone you enjoyed a trivial talk with, the NUMBER is easy, and then you can determine where the connection goes. However, if they're ALL cold approaches JUST for sex with little rapport, then you run the risk of 19/20 girls saying "no." It depends on your frame of reference.

And what increases in life comes from focus. If you spend your days wallowing over the problem, rather than conncocting a solution, you wasted time on NOT solving the dillemma. HOWEVER, if you focus on the solution, on the ways, then you can come up with the solution QUICKLY, and the problem is over. Really, there aren't ANY major problems, just poor choices or procrastination on a decision WE KNOW SHOULD MAKE but won't. For instance, if you're troubled over whether to dump your girl, in reality you just wish she was different, or the relationship was better. And what you're doing is ignoring reality, or hoping the facts change. The last resort is YOU change and you change what you want. Otherwise, the easy, yet hard choice is to move on without her. That's why I'd say MOST don't want improvement or don't want to be better, they WANT DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES WITHOUT EFFORT.

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If you want more of something in life, FOLLOW IT. Focus on it. Work on it. It will come. If you want to grapple with getting better with women, do it. Figure out what you want and then follow it. When I undertook the road to understanding relationships and women, it began some years ago with David D. I added some of his material to my arsenal. Then I bought the books he recommended and chose what things I wanted to learn and improve upon. I even bought Female Anatomy books so I knew MORE about them than they did themselves. Most girls don't know that much, just what PLEASES them. But for a guy who might have several girlfriends, it pays to know the basics of the female species and then get specific with each new girl. For instance, do you know pressure applied to the upper wall of the vagina (the point facing her belly button) feels good? Almost like she's being fvcked? In most every girl I've been with, this increased the simple pleasure of being fingered, and may result in a girl SQUIRTING. Girls will confuse the pleasure with peeing, but you have to stop her and make sure she trusts you enough. Other girls MIGHT be too super sensitive to handle it, or can squirt without any assistance, but it's a technique you learn through trial and error or reading up on women.

Whatever you focus on, increases. And if you focus on more successes, you'll frame life correctly to get more successes. It's like a computer, garbage in, garbage out. Solid material in, solid material out.



A-Unit

 

[Consent]

Another great post A-unit, 5 stars from me, but what I wanna know is what is your "batting average" with approaches and what did it improve to after you focused more on your goals? You sometimes talk in terms of theory without telling your personal experience.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

I've never recorded an "average so to speak. As anybody who knows me or can infer from reading, I go with the flow. But my successes on nights out were about 50/50. Meaning, on any two nights, I'd at least grab 1 number of a girl for a date. My philosophy was to only get prospects I could "close" and who were my time. I'm not, and never was into, gaining high numbers of notches on my belt. However, if I enjoyed my time with 100 women, then by all means, it comes with the territory. Thing is, I also never confined myself to one bar or club or locale. In my late teens, early 20's, I'd go anywhere, with any friends, for any experience. Sometimes I ran into hoards of people doing loads of drugs, and other times I'd make 10 new friends. It really depended on the night out.

See, I just figured I found out what I liked, and did more of it. There was a bar about 10 minutes from where I grew up, and lots of my pals were in bands or were bouncers or the owner, so it was like going home when I went there anyways. Meeting people, or women, was a natural consequence of being there. They weren't always the nicest place, but I figured if I went there, and I was good, then so to must there be women of my equivalent, "like diamonds in the rough." And the big thing was, there always were women like that. Very often at sleazy band clubs, one or two hot chicks tags along with the slut of the group, or the ugly girl, who just wants to be at the show. And if you're a "put together guy," it's almost too easy to meet her and chat it up. If something happens great, if not fine. Remember, you're QUALIFYING her into your life, as if it's worth your ATTENTION. It takes a woman NO ATTENTION to bring you into her life. In fact, she WANTS you in her life as excitement, a source of emotion and connection, protection, and guidance. It's like, once she has a GUY like that, she can sit back and relax. Without a guy, women do things on their own, begrudingly in many cases. Some NEW SOCIETY women want to be DO IT THEIR SELFERS, but most women, the women I like, and comprise the majority, want a guy to pick up in the spots she doesn't want to. So again, you're qualifying her as someone worthy to "invest in." That much hasn't changed. Even if you're investing in 10 minutes, 10 dollars, or 10 weeks, or dipping your c0ck in. They're all investments and opportunity costs.

I think the other thing that always worked/works for me is I put myself out there with my connections. One time I went to visit my grandmother @ her retirement home and saw a picture in her newsletter of a HOT girl. Well, at least her face was hot. My grandmother happened to know her well enough for an introduction. About a week later, I went to dinner and played the "sweet grandson". This girl turned out to be 100% italian and very hot. Of course, I fvcked up when she didn't really like drinking and I brought her out for drinks, but that's the way life goes. My family KNOWS my tastes, and they won't bring to me someone they know I won't like. So if someone "comments" on somebody they do it because they know it pleases me. Most of my family knows me as an "arse and tits" guy, as all my past girls have curves, or most anyways.

I've bought probably every program out there, and at least reviewed them, but never really THOUGHT about employing them. I think they help you prepare, and integrate new thought that contributes to new behavior, but I NEVER recall going anywhere with so many mechanical thoughts about HOW to get a girl. If I someone I liked, I'd say hi. Walk over. Chat. If she's a d-bag in just informal convo, why would I EVER want to do more with her, except respect fvck the shyt out of her to learn her a lesson???

David D I bought years ago, and enjoyed it just because he summarized my thoughts. After I listened to his ish quite a few times while playing Vice City, I bought the books that supported his program and then found my own. Over the years, I formulated my own thinking. I've bought other cheap ebooks and sex books, and relationship books, because not only do I value it for me, but for offering advice to friends or my future kids (someday, oneday). I look at as part of library, which is so rare these days as something ACTUAL that grandparents pass on.

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That's a round about way, but there's night where successes came and came, and other's I went home alone, fine and happy. I've been walked up to by a girl, kissed, given her number, then left the club and watched her walk hand in hand with some other joker. Fine by me, she saved me the time of nexting her, even if she was giving her dirty pvssy to some other dude. My philosophy on sex and women is to never get that involved unless you're willing to do what's right when it's ALL on the line. If you can't handle children or a disease, NEVER EVER NEVER stick ya prick in the ink well. NEVER. And I repeat never. There's just too much risk. GO play poker or the stock market instead. Give men a GOOD name, instead of a bad one. Stand for SOMETHING, stand for yourself. Stand for virtues.

Somehow society has gotten off the hook to date on its promiscuousness BECAUSE of darwin and his theory of evolution. Well, we're no better than animals as of late, and probably worse since NOBODY uses the freaking brain/mind they've been given. Instead, they figure, like some ALCOHOLIC in recovery, it's a "disease" and they can't help it, so why not fvck? Go bang chicks. Or bang one you like for a time being. Or date. But don't disquise ORAL as clean or safe or morally clean. It isn't same thing. Transmission of fluids. To a woman, who's not being penetrated, maybe it's different. But find a girl who's blown 30 men and tell me you'd still want her virgin pvssy but her c0cked up mouth. Yuck.

I'm rambling, but I love life, I love women, I enjoy being out, and the priviledge of affording the times out and the freedom to do so I enjoy each experience REGARDLESS of the intended outcome.



A-Unit

 

[chickenlegs03]

Great post.

I have a quick personal note to add. Since getting introduced to this whole LOA thing, I recognized a problem of mine. I always thought that I had to fail to succeed...and it's not just me, there are a lot of quotes that say it.

I used to think that I could learn from failure to succeed and making mistakes were a good learning experience. I've come to realize that the reason I kept failing is because I kept focusing on failing and learning from it. Well...no wonder.

Now, I focus only on success and learning from success. Forget learning from failure, it's better to learn from success. Forget even thinking about failure.

(though my 'experiences' are related mostly to business/money...i've yet to master this way of thinking with women...but your post definitely makes more clear what i need to work on)