Made a mistake but have a meet with her in 2 hours.. what do i say??

[pikachu_69]

The girl I was seeing is being flakey now about meeting up so I told her that I had something important to tell her cos something happened back home but it's not as important as i made it out to be.. She just finished exams today and wants to celebrate so i chose bad timing.

How should I be on this meet? Should i reveal very little? Be serious? Give me some tips

 

[Joe Stud]

tell her your best friend back home died of cancer.

 

[pikachu_69]

this girl I was seeing is being flakey with me about meeting up and I went to get something from her today that I lent, and I asked her out to lunch but I said it in a somewhat sad manner.. I got some news back home (i'm abroad at the moment studying) nothing important that would need me to go home but I was going to work in this city but since things have gone to sh1t with her I cant bear to be in this city if I'm not with her so I decided I will go home (maybe)

When she declined my lunch cos shes celebrating ending of exams with her friends I realised I got myself into a pickle.. The last thing she wants to hear is my problems when she's trying to relax. When she said 'another time' I saiid 'well it's kind of important, somethings happened back home.. and..' I did it in kind of a serious manner like it's something serious but really it isn't as such, more I have to make a big decision whether i'm staying or going.

Today is not the right time to be telling her that if we're not together or she's not going to take me seriously then i'm going to walk away from her given everything i've said above, I need to use today as a way to rebuild rapport with her and trust, she probably feels it's something serious and i trust her to tell her. IF i dont will she feel i just used it as a tactic to get her out so i need to maintain an air of seriousness at the beginning of the meeting maybe?

What suggestions do u think I should do? Be brief as possible leave an air of mystery letting her guess what my important thing is?

I could frame it that i used to trust her and it's selfish of me to spoil her day when she wants to celebrate so I should tell her next time.

 

[pikachu_69]

tell her your best friend back home died of cancer.

No man.. I think that's too much. IF I don't reveal anything is that ok or if im hesistant like i'm not ready to reveal anything to her?

I need to rebuild the trust with her and maybe being hesistant may help me, add a bit of mystery, if I don't reveal anything will she think it was just a plot to get her out?

 

[katatonia]

Don't mention anything. If she brings it up say "oh don't worry about it" and keep deflecting her questions. She will become more curious about what the hell you were talking about (in reality it was nothing) and that might increase interest.

 

[Drewskie]

What do you mean you can't bear to be in that city without her? Sounds like you have vested way too much interest in this broad and I hate to tell you this, she wants nothing to do with you man. Move on.

 

[pikachu_69]

Don't mention anything. If she brings it up say "oh don't worry about it" and keep deflecting her questions. She will become more curious about what the hell you were talking about (in reality it was nothing) and that might increase interest.

This sounds good, but should I be quite serious when I meet her otherwise she'll think it's just a plot to get her out today?

Which is sneaky in reality. I feel if i'm all happy etc then she'll know i just made it up. Im going to a bar so if i have a drink then at least I can pretend that if i'm all jolly it's cos of the drink.

OR maybe even say 'this isnt the right time you just finished exams you want to celebrate and have a good time, and its selfish of me to ruin your good mood' then change moods and talk about something else.

my goal is to rebuild trust and rapport with her today, the thing is, she knows she can have me i've been way too available and reliable. She knows I care for her and she may abuse that power, however how do i frame it that she may lose me? As in how do i say it indirectly?

 

[Exhumed]

Ok this girl I was seeing is being flakey with me about meeting up and I went to get something from her today that I lent, and I asked her out to lunch but I said it in a somewhat sad manner.. I got some news back home (i'm abroad at the moment studying) nothing important that would need me to go home but I was going to work in this city but since things have gone to sh1t with her I cant bear to be in this city if I'm not with her so I decided I will go home (maybe)

When she declined my lunch cos shes celebrating ending of exams with her friends I realised I got myself into a pickle.. The last thing she wants to hear is my problems when she's trying to relax. When she said 'another time' I saiid 'well it's kind of important, somethings happened back home.. and..' I did it in kind of a serious manner like it's something serious but really it isn't as such, more I have to make a big decision whether i'm staying or going.

Today is not the right time to be telling her that if we're not together or she's not going to take me seriously then i'm going to walk away from her given everything i've said above, I need to use today as a way to rebuild rapport with her and trust, she probably feels it's something serious and i trust her to tell her. IF i dont will she feel i just used it as a tactic to get her out so i need to maintain an air of seriousness at the beginning of the meeting maybe?

What suggestions do u think I should do? Be brief as possible leave an air of mystery letting her guess what my important thing is?

I could frame it that i used to trust her and it's selfish of me to spoil her day when she wants to celebrate so I should tell her next time.

Most pathetic statements are in bold. And no, a man is not "hesitant" and being hesitant will not help you get any girl.

And what you're describing IS a plot to get her out, and a terrible one at that. You shouldn't be coming up with vague lies that hint at distress and insecurity in order to get a girl to hang out with you. Girls don't want a man who is "sad" about anything, if you're telling her you have "serious matters to discuss" then how do you plan to be lighthearted and flirtatious?

Feel free to give it your all and gain some experience here, but I'd bet $1000 you're not getting this girl.

 

[katatonia]

This sounds good, but should I be quite serious when I meet her otherwise she'll think it's just a plot to get her out today?

Which is sneaky in reality. I feel if i'm all happy etc then she'll know i just made it up. Im going to a bar so if i have a drink then at least I can pretend that if i'm all jolly it's cos of the drink.

Who gives a fvck what she thinks? Exhumed bolded some good points, your mindset is absolutely terrible.

Women are so fickle she probably won't remember anyway and if you do deflect the questions as I said she probably won't even bother you much about it. I think women WANT to believe in fantasy more than reality, so her making up all these wild scenarios in her head to believe is more pleasing to her than finding out what you really wanted to say.

 

[pikachu_69]

Most pathetic statements are in bold. And no, a man is not "hesitant" and being hesitant will not help you get any girl.

And what you're describing IS a plot to get her out, and a terrible one at that. You shouldn't be coming up with vague lies that hint at distress and insecurity in order to get a girl to hang out with you. Girls don't want a man who is "sad" about anything, if you're telling her you have "serious matters to discuss" then how do you plan to be lighthearted and flirtatious?

Feel free to give it your all and gain some experience here, but I'd bet $1000 you're not getting this girl.

By using alcohol as an excuse of a change of mood suddenly?

I can start serious and be a bit distant. But reveal very little. All i said was 'something has happened back home..'

 

[pikachu_69]

Who gives a fvck what she thinks? Exhumed bolded some good points, your mindset is absolutely terrible.

Women are so fickle she probably won't remember anyway and if you do deflect the questions as I said she probably won't even bother you much about it. I think women WANT to believe in fantasy more than reality, so her making up all these wild scenarios in her head to believe is more pleasing to her than finding out what you really wanted to say.

But the point is.. the only reason she's meeting up with me today is because i said it was 'important' and 'serious' so isn't that going to be what she's expecting?

I can't be all serious like that and then be all happy. My plan is to try to use today as a platform of building rapport and trust. I just dont' know how to do it apart from regressing on old times I had with her.

Maybe i can be like 'lets change the mood and talk about something fun i want to laugh' that could be good?

Also she tried to make the meet in the local cafe.. i said 'um.. i rather we go somewhere more private cos i dont want people to hear what im saying..'

If she won't go to the bar with me down the road if i suggest my room she'll suss out what i'm doing right? Should I refrain from suggesting that unless it's a jokey manner?

 

[Exhumed]

So you think she'll want to hook up with someone who is "serious" and "distant"? Are those qualities of a player?

You seem more worried about her discovering your "plot" here. You know what I'd do? I'd tell her right off the bat "Nahhh there's nothing wrong, I made it up just to screw with ya! Let's get some drinks." Otherwise it will be on your mind and making you even more insecure, and when she asks you about it you'll get really weird and awkward and nervous, even if you've prepared an explanation beforehand.

 

[Exhumed]

pikachu, you WANT her to know you're trying to get in her pants. It is NOT something you are trying to hide. Do not hide it! And if the only reason she's meeting up with you is because you told her you had something serious to discuss....then clearly you must know she's not interested in meeting up for a date! If she were interested you wouldn't have had to make up a vague story to get her to go out with you!

 

[pikachu_69]

The other posters suggestion of a friend being really ill and it being a wake up call and me needing to take my opportunities and live with no regrets is viable but the less i say the better i think.

 

[Drewskie]

But the point is.. the only reason she's meeting up with me today is because i said it was 'important' and 'serious' so isn't that going to be what she's expecting?

I can't be all serious like that and then be all happy. My plan is to try to use today as a platform of building rapport and trust. I just dont' know how to do it apart from regressing on old times I had with her.

Maybe i can be like 'lets change the mood and talk about something fun i want to laugh' that could be good?

Also she tried to make the meet in the local cafe.. i said 'um.. i rather we go somewhere more private cos i dont want people to hear what im saying..'

If she won't go to the bar with me down the road if i suggest my room she'll suss out what i'm doing right? Should I refrain from suggesting that unless it's a jokey manner?

I need to ask you something?..........WHAT THE FVCK ISWRONG WITH YOU? You completely ignore the advice given that tells you the truth. You made up a goddam story to get a girl (who wants nothing to do with you) out based on sympathy. That is pathetic man. Find out which forum member lives closest to you, have him meet this lil princess, he'll bang her brains out and maybe you will finally stop wasting your time.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I need to ask you something?..........WHAT THE FVCK ISWRONG WITH YOU? You completely ignore the advice given that tells you the truth. You made up a goddam story to get a girl (who wants nothing to do with you) out based on sympathy. That is pathetic man. Find out which forum member lives closest to you, have him meet this lil princess, he'll bang her brains out and maybe you will finally stop wasting your time.

LMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAOOOOO!!!! Its almost 1am and i just busted up laughing reading your reply bro.

This kid is like a fuvkin' robot, you keep throwing it off the 10th story, and all it does is keep yappin' its mouth saying the same damn line over and over again!!

Look up the forum member Drift King and you will soon see that this is his other account on Sosuave where he's been periodically posting about the SAME GIRL who wants NOTHING to do with him, but again, like a fuvkin' retard he keeps going.

No offense but he HAS TO have a mental problem or be emotionally unstable to be this clueless.


BTW, the ignoring of advice is his trade mark, he'll ignore this post too and keep asking dumb questions OR make a new thread tmmrw about her.





PIMP

 

[pikachu_69]

I followed the advice on here to be vague and not say anything but she kept pushing me for answers and got really angry when i was distant asking me 'why did you bring me out here for then?? you said it was important and you've got nothing for me but the same stuff we talked about before..'

She kept getting p1ssy about all the bad things i did and none of the bad things she did, whenever i brought up her bad things she'd be like 'i dont wanna talk about that it's in the past..' i should have been like 'so u just want to focus on all the bad things i've done but ignore everything you've done?'

then she starts getting furious.. Would have made a difference had I chose another day to talk about this with her rather than on day that shes finished exams and wants to celebrate with friends and i took up her free time she could be enjoying herself rather than listen to me?

Maybe if i chose tomorrow she'd have been less p1ssy. She was p1ssy with me for not saying anything about why it was important. It was important for me cos i'd be leaving soon and she'd be the reason keeping me here in this city so i had to know if we'd restart somehow.

Why do girls seem to focus on all the bad things that happened before and forget the good things?? It's f'ing crazy and irrational.. I said this to her and she just shrugs it off. She had too much power and controlled the frame.

But she is right though, I was too pushy. Even when I got her to like me again at NY eve I f'd up this week by being too available hanging around doing nothing etc. She judged me for that.

 

[J. Darko]

She's being flakey. She's not interested. So you call her up, make some lame excuse that you can't meet her and never talk to her again.

This way, you have your revenge and you can move on with your life. A win-win situation.





Edit: I see that you actually met the girl, let her walk all over you and lost your self-respect. Oh brother, here I was, thinking that I was the biggest loser with women.

Please man, please don't devote your time to women that are not interested. Don't persue them. It makes life unnecessary hard.

 

[pikachu_69]

Yeah I understand, I think I needed this hard lesson to kick me into gear. Everything that has been said has been almost true.

She did like me on NY eve, I didn't go to her at midnight... That was my last ever chance of salvaging it.

Was it really that inconsiderate of me getting her to come out even though I knew she had plans to celebrate with her friends this afternoon making her come out with me so I could try to reconcile things?

In retrospect it was the wrong time, maybe even tomorrow if she was free then it might be a different story. She said she felt stupid cos I tricked her.. I didn't trick her I just overstated my sadness and she assumed that my important matter to talk about was worse than I put on.

I knew when she was with me and was p1ssy I knew I was in for a bad meeting. Maybe I should have ejected sooner but I needed this complete utter meltdown was necessary to hit me hard so I know how bad it can get.

I don't even know if I was in the wrong for a lot of things or she was.. Everything she'd say she'd magnify it 100 times and anything she did wrong she'd just want to forget or pretend didn't happen. WTF?! Do all women do this when they're mad??

Some of the things she said were really spiteful but I'm not hurt by it cos I know she's only saying that it was a waste of time seeing me cos it didn't work out so she lost her 'valuable' time.

She accused me of having no passions in my life but she never even asked me once about me, my upbringing, how I got to where I am, what i've achieved etc it was all me asking her when we did date last year.. she then says that if im passionate about something I would have talked about it all the time.. I said it's not necessary to be bragging all the time about this and that what i'm good at etc etc.. She then says to me 'Well I can tell you aren't the guy for me cos you have no passions'

I should have just tried the quick bang from the beginning like I normally do then at least i'd have the upper hand cos I can't even look back on this experience and say.. well she won but at least I got to bang her. I lost, I accept that. I won't get into this situation ever again. Lesson learned.

 

[J. Darko]

Listen man, I know what you are going through. You really, really, really like a girl. It's rare. It's a wonderful feeling and suddenly, everything becomes a game of chess.
You consider everything you do. You think about what the best thing is to say to her, what the best thing is to do. To be absolutely sure, you ask for advice so you know for sure you make the right moves.
You tried so hard, but in the end, you still lost her. It hurts. It makes you think even more about her and how it could go wrong.


The problem is, that all that thinking is in fact, wrong. A girl likes you, or she doesn't. There's nothing you can do to change that. The whole irony is that walking on your toes and overanalyzing stuff just make it worse.

So the only thing you can do is be a man and if that fails, wether you fail or she isn't fair, it does't matter. The moment that things seem to go wrong, you walk away. You have to. It's the only fix there is.

Having said that, women are like that man. Women magnify things, place things in the wrog context, or say things that are just not right. If you are in a situation like that, walk away, laugh it off, shrug your shoulders. They don't even mean what they say. I know you ca be at a loss of words when women rant like that, but it's totally ok to say ''WTF''? And walk away. You don't have to defend yourself. You know that you're a great guy.

Also, be careful. Don't give a woman reason to hate you. I'm not saying that you should comply with a woman, or be a AFC. But if you really make her mad on purpose, they will be on a mission to socially kill you.