made a long overdue approach

cmos

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2007
Messages
17
Reaction score
1
Location
Krypton
hey. So just approached a girl today that I had a sort of "stalker like" attraction to 2 years ago(my first year in university). I hadnt seen her in months and infact am already seeing someone else, so when I saw her today, some of the feelings started creeping back in. This was in the morning. I saw her again, on campus in the afternoon. Again I was overcome by powerfull emotion. I really do like my current girl, its just that when you have a oneitis for someone and you suddenly see them the feelings just start coming back. I see her yet again at night around 9ish, studying in uni by herself.
I say feck it, I really dont want this thing over my head. So I make an initial decision to approach. Then fear creeps in. I say, "feck! now isnt the time nor the place". I make excuses for myself and go back home. 3 hrs later( about 12) I read this forum and realise "I have to do this". So at 12 am. I go back to uni (its a 5 min walk, I live on campus). Again apprenshion sets in. I'm so close to walking away, and once I start walking, a voice speaks in my head " once a quitter, always a quitter" followed by " be a feckin MAN!" try to ignore these too but the last one " you quit today, you quit everyday for the rest of your life" really sticks to me. So i just turn around and walk straight up to her, without any clue whatsoever as to what I'm about to say.

Me: Hi ( smile)
Her: erm hi ( a little awkward smile, and a wierd look, probably given the fact that it was so late..)
Me: i'm mr. don juan, stretch my hand out for a shake
Again she just has "what the hell is going on" smile
Me: slow down! i'm not some crazy loonie going around talking to women at 12 am..
Her: (a slightly more pleasant smile.. erm I think), takes my hand, introduces herself.
a small silence, i cut to the chase:
Me: I've been meaning to ask you out for quite sometime now, are you single?
Her: smile, erm no.
Me: well thats fine.. and smile
Her: so what are you doing here so late? studying?
Me: Nope! came here specifically to get rejected!.. ofcourse studying, what else do one do at this hour in school?
Her: (mini laugh)
Followed by some random talk lasting a minute or 2..
Me: well gotta go. take care.(again the awkward smile).. There;s no need to feel awkward... I dont, smile and walk away (into the sunset)

Well it was nothing heroic and probably pales in comparison to the MDJs here, but I just want to say I'm pleased with myself for going through with it. I know things will probably be weird between us, I will try no to let them, but she might feel it, I do not know or care. Ofcourse rumors might spread about me too, but hey, you cant live for society, gotta live for yourself. What I'm trying to say here is that despite such an obvious rejection, it felt good. I can finally attain closure. Just thought I'd share my expeirence.

P.S.. I'm not one bit interested in the application of speed seduction methods so your comments involving, neg hits, kino, IOI's etc will fall on deaf ears. Constructive critisim shall be well recieved.
 

Vypros

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 19, 2007
Messages
634
Reaction score
16
Hey, at least you took action. That's KEY.

The whole conversation you had was akward and weird, but you know what at least you took action.

Now go do it again. tonight. Seriously, doesn't matter who she is, go try something different. TONIGHT.
 

Scought

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 11, 2003
Messages
265
Reaction score
2
Location
Portland
Probably shouldn't approach a woman alone at midnight, when walking across campus. That's just scary to them.

Second, no need to say: "Ive been meaning to ask you out, are you single?"

She probably is, but the time you approached and using that line, she had an easy out--all she had to say was no. And she did.

Talk to her at a better time, and conversate about SOMETHING. Asking her out is the last thing on your mind( of course it isn't but she should be thinking that). Then after good convo and learning about her, tell her how much fun it would be to get a chance to talk/hang out again. Almost as if you just thought of that idea seconds ago. It won't seem as contrived as "i've been meaning to ask you out.' That does should a bit pre-mediated and stalkerish.

My two cents.
 

PectoralisMajor

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 18, 2007
Messages
328
Reaction score
4
First - well done for going through with speaking to her. Its easy to put women in a high place, when really they are just normal like ourselves. Always remember they are just like us too - it helps.

Your conversation was definately awkward, but the bit about not being a loonie was good. The bit about asking if she was single was NOT good.

It looks as if you have potential, but your needing more practice with the convo. It was nothing special or original, and not that natural with its flow.

If it had been me he initial convo woul have gone like:

'that must be some big test your studying for if your still up at 12am'
She says 'nah its not for a test'
'you must be missing some excitement in your life if your here by choice at this time'
her ' blah blah blah'
'well my name is Your Daddy, and i've popped into to finish an essay I have to hand in tomorrow ( make up any BS excuse to be there other than her thinking your stalking her or other girls.....)
her ' my name is p&ssygalore
'excellent....followed by 5 minutes of rapport and then the important bit'
'you know there's not been much time to meet new folk, we should hang out some time. give me your number and i'l give you a bell some time'

If she gives you the number nice, if not, you've won anyway because you just did what 99% of men wouldnt do and thats have an interesting convo with a hot girl and you didnt drown.

simple eh?? remember, approcaching shouldnt be a nervous chore, but fun. If she has nothing interesting to say bail on her !

keep up the good work.
 
Top