Luck in life and dating

[SoldMySoul]

Something has been on my mind a lot as of late and want some of the mature men to chime in on a dilemma I have going from no fault of my own.

For the last several months, I have been with one women every so often knowing it was basically going nowhere, but held on from fear.... She has issues typical of women these days and really too many children.

Fear being this: I have had a string of bad luck as far my health and employment. Long story short: In last two years injured twice at work and had surgery a year and half ago and still have some unresolved issues seeking remedies for that as I type, however, I lost my job because of it. No fault of my own but because of being injured twice with same company as they are not willing to take more risks with me. There are other issues I cannot divulge here.

At this time, I am unemployed and REALLY want to work but my present condition makes it very difficult since I have to get issues resolved. I am not crippled or anything like that, but being unemployed and after being responsible all my life I could be in a very bad financial spot.

Which brings this to you guys: I have basically put the women out of my life that was really adding to my mess in life and want to start dating again, but It bothers me that my current situation makes that hard. Who has been in a similar situation and did it prevent you from sarging or dating? If you did sarge on, how did you explain it to perspective women? I have many things because of my responsible nature, so the front as of right now, is there, but it get pretty bad for me. Most women would probably think, " This guy is a lazy bum who does not want to work." But that would be way off base and if ANY decent female thought that about me, she would not be decent now would she?

Give me advice whether good, bad or indifferent. I am doing all that is my power to make my situation better, but only so much can be done. I desire female companionship like the next guy; should my situation prevent me from this?

 

[Julian]

OK number 1, keep your problems to yourself. Stop freakin focusing on it and letting it define your life. For pete sake man you are losing it! Just kidding just thought that would be a cool thing to say. Anyway like I said dont let it define you and DONT drop these problems off on a chick.

If you meet a chick who seemed cool and as soon as you asked about her she freakin drops all these problems on you and your like wtf girl this chick is a psycho or just some chick with alot of baggage, your first instinct is f this time to eject.

So only let a female in on the positive sides of your life, no need to cloud everybodys reality with your problems which in my mind problem are only challenges meant to be conquered so its not a big deal to me regardless of the scenario, I suggest you adopt this mindset and anyone reading this as well. make sh1t alot easier and more simple in this complex world of ours.
We've all been there, and all I can tell you is make the changes you need to make, take action on that sh1t thats the bottom line. At the end of the day only you can change your life depending how you react to what life throws at you.

And although I do believe in destiny to a degree and realize bad things do happen, I still firmly stand next to a quote I heard once, "A man makes his own luck".

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Julian,
Do you really think you are mature enough to mix it with the big boys?

 

[SoldMySoul]

OK number 1, keep your problems to yourself. Stop freakin focusing on it and letting it define your life. For pete sake man you are losing it! Just kidding just thought that would be a cool thing to say. Anyway like I said dont let it define you and DONT drop these problems off on a chick.

If you meet a chick who seemed cool and as soon as you asked about her she freakin drops all these problems on you and your like wtf girl this chick is a psycho or just some chick with alot of baggage, your first instinct is f this time to eject.

So only let a female in on the positive sides of your life, no need to cloud everybodys reality with your problems which in my mind problem are only challenges meant to be conquered so its not a big deal to me regardless of the scenario, I suggest you adopt this mindset and anyone reading this as well. make sh1t alot easier and more simple in this complex world of ours.
We've all been there, and all I can tell you is make the changes you need to make, take action on that sh1t thats the bottom line. At the end of the day only you can change your life depending how you react to what life throws at you.

And although I do believe in destiny to a degree and realize bad things do happen, I still firmly stand next to a quote I heard once, "A man makes his own luck".

You have some interesting points for the most part. But it seems that what you suggest could be viewed by some as disingenuous. I get your overall point though. My biggest problem is that I am probably more honest than I should be. I would not want to be a big liar to those I was interested in as I would not want it in return.
I do like the idea of keeping things down low and I guess by the time she needs to know she will have formed an overall opinion in regards to me anyway.

Luck may be made man, but getting injured had nothing to do with luck being made that way.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

OP, did you have Disability Insurance through work? Or just Workers Comp.?

Anyway, the way I see it, is that a man has to make a determination of the extent to which he is fighting reality. How wide is the gap between the reality you know and the one you desire to know? And are you man enough to bridge that gap by yourself? Often men will seek refuge from themselves in a relationship; it is far easier to indulge in feminine comforts than to face the cold hard facts of what you should be doing.

When I started my financial services practice last year, I knew it was time to completely disregard serious dating and LTRs; ONS and flings only. Now that my practice is gathering steam, there is nothing so motivating to see, because for so long I had only my own faith and will to survive on. In order to continue striking while the iron is hot, I place no emphasis on dating, but if I meet a woman worthy of my time, I will make it for her.

Such is the foundation of a DJ's life anyway.

 

[SoldMySoul]

OP, did you have Disability Insurance through work? Or just Workers Comp.?

Anyway, the way I see it, is that a man has to make a determination of the extent to which he is fighting reality. How wide is the gap between the reality you know and the one you desire to know? And are you man enough to bridge that gap by yourself? Often men will seek refuge from themselves in a relationship; it is far easier to indulge in feminine comforts than to face the cold hard facts of what you should be doing.

When I started my financial services practice last year, I knew it was time to completely disregard serious dating and LTRs; ONS and flings only. Now that my practice is gathering steam, there is nothing so motivating to see, because for so long I had only my own faith and will to survive on. In order to continue striking while the iron is hot, I place no emphasis on dating, but if I meet a woman worthy of my time, I will make it for her.

Such is the foundation of a DJ's life anyway.

It was only work comp, but that is a major issue at hand since complications have arisen from that since the company went belly up and was taken over by the state just recently. I had disability insurance paid by employer, but you cannot collect it with work comp. You can only collect it if hurt outside of work.I obviously have gone through my savings since being on work comp for about a year and half lost me a great deal of $$$. That is only some of the issue I spoke of.

At my age, I KNOW that I do not need a women to bridge the gap for me and learned it like most of us, the hard way. I am good with myself and strong enough with confidence in spite of my bad last two years. I am just stuck between a rock and a hard space while my case works out one way or the other.

My main problem is being out of work that troubles me. I may just lose everything, but I am holding strong as I can. Since the insurance company went under, they are being investigated for fraud by ins com of my state. This entire ordeal, made the waiting and suffering longer because of the delay.

A guy I used to know once said, do not worry until it is time and I am trying to use that as my guide. Obviously, my financial situation comes first, but I do desire some female companionship in some form at times as for the last four years of my life I have had sparingly.

Thanks for your reply!

 

[naSTIboost]

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