LTR'S, Marriage and Debt

[backbreaker]

I am watching this crazy b!tch preach to "women" about how you have to look out for bad debt when getting m arriage.

First of all, women are the prime consumers in america, not men. Shoulnd't you be telling this to men who are pvssy whipped on that women who clubed her way though her 20's and still gets her car from Car Mart or some backwater car lot and has no credit with a 4oo's credit score?

then she took it a step father and said that you should joint your bank account, and if you dont', you dont' want to be married, you want a roommate.

um..okay. Sure. To each his own. I think that is up to each person and their relationship.

Here is my rule of thumb; if something seems to be made for a emotional reason only and I can't ratoinalize it, it's not a good idea.

There is no rational reason for me to joint my bank account with my GF. If the best you can do is "it shows you want to spend the rest of your life with her".. is the best you can do, than you are playing emotional chords when rationale should be used.

In other words, there is no not really anything horrible about it, but there is no good reason TO do it. I do **** that sometimes I don't want to have to explain. Plus there is a pretty large financial gap between myself and my GF, although I trust her, I still dont' feel comfortable turning her lose on my bank account. I say that but she might as well have her name on my account now becuase if she wanted anything out of it I'd be on my way to the bank now. but still, it's different than her getting on one, deciding to go to the bank and clear me out, in the name of "love".

back to my main point. Why is this pointed towards WOMEN FOR MEN? SHOULDN'T IT BE THE ONLY WAY AROUND?

 

[KontrollerX]

Tom Leykis is saying this all the time.

You don't create a joint bank account with a woman.

You just don't do it.

The only person you can trust in this life 110% is yourself.

People like to try and shame others about this viewpoint and say how its so wrong but the fact of the matter is it protects you in pretty much all areas.

You can give people a measured trust for sure but total trust?

I think not unless they have something incredibly great to lose on the same level as your loss would be if not more.

Like say how you give a doctor your complete trust when you are out cold on the operating table.

Now if he or she fvcks up and goes insane and messes your body up he or she could lose their entire livelihood and have their ability to practice as a doctor revoked.

Thats the only way you can ever fully trust another human on this planet and it is through mutually assured destruction for one of the parties screwing the other one over severely.

 

[Wiesman44]

Completely agree w/ what you both have to say. But, when you're married to someone for 10+ years, it makes sense from a convenience perspective to joint it. When you're in your 20's, its not smart at all.

 

[backbreaker]

Completely agree w/ what you both have to say. But, when you're married to someone for 10+ years, it makes sense from a convenience perspective to joint it. When you're in your 20's, its not smart at all.

I think it's convenient to joint AN account. not ALL the accounts. there is no rationale way around it.

like KX said, let's say you have been together for 15 years, you are 38 years old and for some reason you just don't do it for her anymore. and behind your back she meets a younger man who she uses your account to lavish expensive gifts on?

let's say she just gose though one of those things and it's time for her to shop every other day.

Call me an *******, but I'll be an ******* that isn't living in the poor house.

 

[backbreaker]

I have no problem with having a joint account. Let's say I am married and we are splitting the mortage. The mortage and all the bill money plus any misc money we want to put in our main accocunt can go in there

but my car note, plus my own savings/gas money/etc is going into my account.

here is a nother HUGE reason why you shouldn't get all your funds in a joint account. because about 60% of all marriages fail. And when they do, if you have a joint account, you have no idea what you can afford. you get in the mindset "well we put our checks together".... then you **** your credit up becuase you have **** it took both of you to afford.

My dad has been divorced 3 times and has an 805 credit score, has never lost a house, car, hell even a dog because of divorce. he refuses to get a joint account. he gives his wife the money to pay the mortage and half the bills. he has his own savings account, his own (2) checking accounts if he got divorced tomorrow the only difference would be instead of giving 800 a month to her for his half of the mortage, he would pay for his own house or apartment with that money. he knows what he can afford.

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

Me and my girl have a joint account.

It's not hard. Just check it once or twice a week and see whats going on (it's a good idea no matter what.)

We talk about buying stuff before we buy it and ultimately I control the finances (I think you always have to have only one person in charge of finances.)

I guess alot of it comes down to the quality of the woman too.

 

[backbreaker]

you and your GIRLFRIEND have a joint account?

read more, post less

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

you and your GIRLFRIEND have a joint account?

read more, post less

No, we're engaged.

Not the point.

The bottom line is there are people who will get screwed because they are dumb and/or naive, and there are those who won't because they always cover their a$$.

A woman is only as dangerous as her man lets her be.

And for the record, I don't come here for the advice. My life is good and only getting better. I am the master of my life and my universe.

When you own your world there is little a woman can do to inflict damage.

 

[Latinoman]

I had a joint account with my ex-wife when we were married (at first we had separate accounts). We had two children and I travelled a lot so I decided to joint the accounts. It worked back then with me. But she and I married very young when we had nothing. So...we went through poverty to upper middle class together.

Here is the thing...not every woman is like my ex-wife. When we divorced...I literally came unscratched (other than child support, ect.). Other woman? I would have been destroyed.

Now that I am upper middle class (I don't know the cut off, but I'm assuming I am)...if I remarried...I have to be VERY careful.

 

[Latinoman]

No, we're engaged.

That's not very smart.

 

[Kerpal]

No, we're engaged.

IMO, having a joint account with anybody is a really, really bad idea. I don't trust anyone with my money.

But I don't see why any man would want to get married anyway, especially when almost all marriages are failures.

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

There are certain things that will allow a woman to f^ck a man over.

1. Getting her pregnant (that's atleast an 18 year sentence)
2. Getting married.

That's it. Short of false claims of rape or abuse there is nothing else a woman can do to cause damage to a MAN who owns the situation.

The 2 cases she can cause damage can be more easily avoided by being highly selective in the types of women you even so much as associate with.

I don't understand why all the guys on this sight are so scared of women?

Even if you've been burned in the past, learn from it and move on.

Be smart, cover your a$$, choose well, and stop being afraid people.

A woman will only take as much from a man as the man allows her to.

 

[backbreaker]

you miss the point. My GF is 5'6 and 105 pounds (usually, just had a baby). i'm not SCARED of her. but again... WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT!

you aren't reading my post. there is not enough rationale reasons TO do it, therefore why?

espically if you aren't married, why in the hell do you need a joint account? so she can look at her friends and say "yeah ***** I got him, hook line and sinker". .that's pretty much it. there is no rational reason to DO it. if there was some joint account you can get that would triple the interest rate of the money in my account I'd be the first in line. but there isn't.

all of my bills are on autopay, my GF has a bank account with the bank I have and every week I put money in her account. if she wants something more I put more in there. but unless this magical triple interest rate account came out, there is no way in hell she is going to get her name on my account.

 

[DJDamage]

Say no to a joint account.

Marriage should be about two people that like to be around one another, fvck one another but NOT BE DEPENDED ON ONE ANOTHER. A man and a woman should be in a union knowing that they can each take care of themsleves.

I heard many stories about the joint bank account scheme were the woman has stopped working and using her husband's joint account to finance her life like he is her cash cow. The fact is that the majority of women spend more money and make less money then their men.

Also lets not forget if the marriage sours, your once loyal wife could be your biggest adversary. She could be plotting in secret for months with a lawyer and when she attacks , you will be unprepared. Prior to notifing you that she is divorcing you she can empty out all the cash from the joint account and leave you with debts and no money to pay for a lawyer and its perfectly legal since it is a JOINT ACCOUNT!! then you are really screwed.

 

[Kerpal]

There are certain things that will allow a woman to f^ck a man over.

1. Getting her pregnant (that's atleast an 18 year sentence)
2. Getting married.

That's it. Short of false claims of rape or abuse there is nothing else a woman can do to cause damage to a MAN who owns the situation.

The 2 cases she can cause damage can be more easily avoided by being highly selective in the types of women you even so much as associate with.

I don't understand why all the guys on this sight are so scared of women?

Even if you've been burned in the past, learn from it and move on.

Be smart, cover your a$$, choose well, and stop being afraid people.

A woman will only take as much from a man as the man allows her to.

But why do it in the first place? What's the incentive to having a joint account? Also, what's to stop her from getting upset with you over some little thing, (or just getting bored with you), and cleaning you out? Seems like a lot of risk with no reward.

 

[MetalFortress]

My wife and I are planning to have a joint account, but due to work schedules we never get around to actually going out and doing it. Reason being? 1: We are both not so good with money. 2: Neither of us have any real riches going on. 3: We both freak out about money (and lack of it)way too often, even when we're good, so it makes it far easier to keep us both accountable.

 

[tx_xp]

I was married for 12 years and got screwed. We had joint accounts and I even sold stock options to pay off debts and she turned around and recharged cards. My credit is bad now. My advice pay your bills but keep your money seperate EVEN when you get married! Do not even have joint credit cards, debts do not honor civil judges orders so the debt is still whomeever agreed to it. Don't ever share any account, instead make a POA power of attorney where as something happens to you there is a line of people who can step in and be you as needed depending on the circumstance. I have like 3 POA including one for medical. I didn't do this until my divorce.

 

[backbreaker]

that last post should be a sticky at the top of this forum

There was a bartender who I used to bang while she was married (posted about here a couple of times here).. she would go to her JOINT account and take ME out to eat, at least once a week, and INSIST on it.

don't let that be you

 

[azanon]

There is no rational reason for me to joint my bank account with my GF. If the best you can do is "it shows you want to spend the rest of your life with her".. is the best you can do, than you are playing emotional chords when rationale should be used.

Of course! Absolutely! Who ever said otherwise?

You join accounts with your wife or husband, not merely a girlfriend/boyfriend. If it wasn't for girlfriends/boyfriends joining accounts, Judge Judy would be out of business and I wouldn't get to watch one of my favorite shows when I get home.

Very close to "stupid level" of joining accounts with a girlfriend/boyfriend is living with a girlfriend/boyfriend. This, by the way, makes up the other half of Judge Judy cases - live-in's gone wrong.

If you don't trust your wife/husband enough to share a checking account, you have no business being married to this person. This level of trust is possible and I don't speak from just theory on this.

 

[backbreaker]

If you don't trust your wife/husband enough to share a checking account, you have no business being married to this person.

I can agree with that theory on a basic level. If the thought of opening up a joint account makes me spit out my gum at the very thought of it, you might be a bad relationship.

but with that said, you still didn't give any good reason WHY to open up a bank account. Back to my point... the day they offer joint account rewards or 7 percent interest rates on joint accounts or I get a tax break for havinga joint account or anything.. you will have to beat me to the front of the line. But there is no logical or fiseable reason to, so screw it.

On the same token, if I am with a girl and she is hell bent on having a joint account, and wont' leave the issue alone, that's a red flag.