I've gotten into fisticuffs with a few guys here on this issue, i don't really have a problem with it. Well let me rephrase, it's something under the right circumstances i can tolerate it.
There are three things you have to take into considertation
1. Regardless of how much a woman likes you, it's selfish to ask a woman.. or **** a man for that matter to drop every guy she has ever talked to just beucase you are paying her attention and you might date her. I would go so far as to say that's unrealistic. I mean, that' sjust not gonna happen. You can put this big thick ass line in the sand and call every girl who kept in touch with an ex a ***** and a bad girl if you want but it's not going to make life any better
2. I've said a few times, that a woman will show you what she is to you, you can't make her anything she isn't willing to be. a woman who wants to date you will show you time and time again with her actions. With that said, i don't have a problem with a woman talking to an ex beucase i don't have any pre concived notions of what she is going to be to me at the end of the day, and until i am 100000000% sure that she isn't talking to anyone else, I'm going to keep spinning plates. You can talk to your ex all you want, call him every once a month or whatever you like doing. i you won't ever hear one peep out of me about anything, but that entire time, don't even consider asking me to stop seeing anyone. tic for tat. just like that.
In short, I'm not going to put anymore work into our relationship than you are putting in. if we are a going on a date every week fvck one or 2 times a week type but i am still talking to my ex relationship, i'm going to do that and i'm going to go o out with someone else this week and fvck her too. if you don't like it, you gotta give something up.
My dad's best friend ended up marrying an ex of my dad's., my dad and her talk all the time there isn't **** there. my ex came out here on vacation earlier this year, we had them over, had dinner, **** her and my wife went shopping lol. I mean.. there just isn't anything there. when i met my wife she was still in contact with an ex of hers.. i never gave her any beef over it but when she put my feet tot he fire and we had our first real what are we talk i told her point blank i like you but until he's OUT of the picture and I am 10000000% sure he's out, no phone calls, no hey how are you doings, no nothing, we won't be dating and I will keep doing as I 'm doing now. When I met amber, a girl i ended up dating for a year some change she had just got out of a 6 year relatiosnhip.. inf act it wasn't a sure thing that she wanted me over him.. the dude had his **** together, he's an engineer and he's good looking, i've seen him. But, eventually she really wanted to date and i knew they were even stil having sex.. so i kept doing mythnig. never gave her **** about anything but told her dont' expect me to settle down utnil i know he isn't' in the picture.
to me, this entire conversion/debate is a non starter. you shouldnt' be giving a **** beucase you should be spinning plates. and you shouldn't ever treat a woman like a LTR beucase you think she might be one you don't treat her any different from anyone else. I mean, there are a lot of girls that i dated that had ex's in the picture they couldn't get past, but taking this hard lbine stance is unnecessary and it's unrealistic. that's not how it works in the real world. Kat (my old GF/oneitis) has my Alaskan Husky Rico you think i'm not going to go see him when I'm in little rock? my wife doesn't' give a **** either way but if she did, she would just have some hurt ass feelings.
honestly if anything it made my plate spinning easier. not only could i do it guilt free, but he was more than happy to take up her time when i was busy with someone else.
it could either be 2 things. she either doesn't have that much respect for you and is willing to ruffle your feathers and risk losing you (because frankly she doesnt care) OR she is one of those liberal types that feels like a girl needs to be 'free' and not 'shackled' by societal conditioning (have cake and eat it too).
either way, not good.
my whole point is, why SHOULD she be worried about losing you she just fvckign met you. I mean, let's reverse shoes let's say I met my wife and she knew about my ex who i stay in contact with from time to time, there isn't anything there, but we talk every once in a while keep in touch. and she told me on our 2nd date that if i were to have any chance with her that my ex, who i have known since i was 13, who has my dog, whose wedding i went to... i'd laugh my ass off and take her ass home. not beucase my wife is not a catch but at the time she had not done anything or shown me anything worth dropping everyone in my life for. it has nothing to do with me wanting or not wanting to fvck my ex, my now wife, on our first date, had not built up that kinda good will. regardless of how much of a catch she is you aren't going to just meet me, and come here and run my **** and tell me who i can and cannot talk to. you ain't done jack **** yet or proven to me jack ****. you have to earn that kinda clout.
and when the time came, she didn't have to tell me to cut out the other girls i wanted to. but you have to build up to that.
I mean.. **** at the end of the day, what are you really accomplishing with this stance? I mean if she is thinking about fcking him and you tell her to not do it, and she agrees, do you really think that this is going to be the decision that saves your relationship? you don't think she is going to fvck the first guy who looks at her the right way that gives her the feeling, just out of spite lol? ti's just so stupid to me on so many levels. not only is it stupid there is no possible way to come out of it with the upper hand. you look like an insecure douche making declierations like that. when a woman likes you she will make it known she is getting her act together. I knew when my wife stopped answering her ex's calls that she was getting serious about me.
