LTR post - I beat the dragon.

[Fruitbat]

Some of the married and ltr may have a lady who is sweet and loving all month. Like an evergreen, she is an all season gal.

Others may find for 3 weeks her blossom blooms yet for one she withers and shines not so brightly.

Others may find for 3 weeks her radiant flower emits a beautiful aroma, and then one week it becomes a prickly thorn bush that smells of cadivar.

Mine is the third sadly. I’m talking of course about the menstral cycle and how it can turn women into the worlds worst bytch.

This month was really bad. Here’s my handbook to the poor men who find themselves in this perilous predicament:

- Never fight the dragon. You can’t kill it. It will only enrage it.

- you may run from the dragon. immerse yourself in your own world. Often the dragon prefers this.

- Laugh at the dragon if things get too heated. It’s a better response than anger or hurt.

- Know when the dragon is coming. The hardest part of the dragon is the surprise attack. You’ve had some great days together and BAM. Why has she turned into a complete nutjob? This is making me angry….this is the hardest aspect of the dragon.

How to win. I hath just conquered one:

- DO track her cycle and by all means use an app. It is like gold dust to know it’s coming.

- when the dragon has left and you have your wife/GF back, sit her down and explain that you felt like walking out a week ago. Explain that you aren’t perfect and you get that she can be upset with you, but not to that extent. Explain that it interferes with your work and makes you unhappy, and she’s a great wife three weeks in four. It’s just the extent to which she reacts at this time which is difficult to live with.

Ask for agreemeant to change. Ask for agreement to track the cycle together so you can work on it as a team. Agree at that time you’ll be extra good to her, take a bit of the workload even. Ask her to take primrose oil leading up to it (it helps). Ask her if this fails, that you expect her to visit a doctor, or a therapist.

if you’re a skilled communicator, and can master this discussion - and do preface this with “we need to talk. It’s not anything bad, I haven’t done anything silly, but we need to talk about something serious which has been making me want to leave” ….if you can deal with this in an honest and mature way, you may find the dragon will agree to be managed, will understand her problem and may even be happy you’ve been man enough to deal with it.

the mistake I, and many men make is when the dragon leaves, thinking “phew, that’s over for another month”. No. You shouldn’t accept it. She doesn’t act like this to her boss, her friends, she shouldn’t do it to you.

I hope this helps all my fellow dragon slayers.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Did you give her rabies fruitbat?

 

[Fruitbat]

Did you give her rabies fruitbat?

I gave her babies. It’s all downhill from there

 

[The Duke]

@Fruitbat I know you are exactly right and your advice is solid. A younger me has done this. But I just can't bring myself to do it anymore.

Too many years of dating I guess, less patient. They can figure it out or leave. My girl knows it. I just don't have the energy or desire. So much more enjoyable things than teaching a woman how to act proper.

 

[Fruitbat]

Drop this salty beeeoootttcchhhh. I spent 23 years with a dragon. Best to get out now while the kids are young. Your sanity is at risk amigo.

who said I was sane? I got married, that answers that one!

In my experience, AWALT. Or at least all are flawed, and the ones who aren’t flawed and are still a decade younger and hot, loyal. Hard working are out of my league.

 

[zekko]

I used to have a girlfriend with this issue (no pun intended).
It definitely paid to be forewarned.

 

[Fruitbat]

@Fruitbat I know you are exactly right and your advice is solid. A younger me has done this. But I just can't bring myself to do it anymore.

Too many years of dating I guess, less patient. They can figure it out or leave. My girl knows it. I just don't have the energy or desire. So much more enjoyable things than teaching a woman how to act proper.

i cut some slack as it’s clearly a medical issue rather than anything else. She’s pretty sweet most of the month and the times she isn’t it’s ALWAYS to do with her cycle.

i got a kid, my daughter doesn’t deserve having her dad walk out once a month, or a crazy mum for a few days. What she deserves is a dad who can sort it out. If it keeps happening Drs can provide meds, mood stabilisers. I think this is PMDD not PMT. Her mother has it, I think it’s genetic.

At this time she’s damaged herself - not physically but done silly things and made rash decisions. Not every man is able to just leave, some guys gotta face it head on.

 

[Fruitbat]

I used to have a girlfriend with this issue (no pun intended).
It definitely paid to be forewarned.

yeah man it’s the time it catches you off guard which is the killer.
i do feel a bit of empathy. I’m secure enough to (mostly but not always) not let it get to me and see what’s up. Imagine going bonkers for 4-5 days a month - it must suck for her too.

Thr hardest bit is getting to accept a woman has a problem as they def do not like that. Once you can lay it on the table as her issue, but agree to work on it together, is the roadout.

Key is to not play it as “you’re a nut case and you need to change“. Most of the things she goes off about are valid - I didn’t do x. Actually there is a bit of skirting board (base board for Americans) I haven’t finished and it’s been a whole year. I could have done it, I’ve just been lazy and distracted. This is valid, yet, almost getting in tears and/or a crazy argument over it isn’t valid. I made it clear that this isn’t a ticket for me to say “you’re hormonal again ergo I am right about everything forever”

this sounds like some pvssy shyt feminist nonsense but you gotta validate what she’s pissed about, but just explain losing her shyt over it is the issue.

plus a little concession, “I will help you out in those days if you can try to get with the programme” did wonders. She feels like shyt, you can concede a bit at that time. She will make it up, she is already making it up presently.

Women are flawed, as we all are. Good luck to anyone finding a unicorn but I don’t think they exist, or at least, I’m not man enough to get one.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Did this happen prior to being married? If so, why would you get married?

 

[Fruitbat]

Did this happen prior to being married? If so, why would you get married?

On occasion, we got married after a year.

why do you ask?

seems like this is going down “You have only yourself to blame” form I outlined on a thread a few days ago.

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

Indeed keeping track of her periods is quite useful. In my experience the moods usually start 3-4 days before the period and end 1-2 days after the period starts.

On occasion, we got married after a year

What happened in that occasion? What about the other times she was on her period in that year?

 

[ThisIsSparta]

the mistake I, and many men make is when the dragon leaves, thinking “phew, that’s over for another month”. No. You shouldn’t accept it. She doesn’t act like this to her boss, her friends, she shouldn’t do it to you.

Asides from the percentage of women going on sex-strike during these days, i never experienced any issues with the "red" dragon.

I dont think one should make a womans emotional instability his problem. Its her responsibility to behave at least like the semi-rational being women are and keep a civil tone, whatever her cycle-clock says. A woman being out of control for a week each month ins unacceptable.

 

[Fruitbat]

Indeed keeping track of her periods is quite useful. In my experience the moods usually start 3-4 days before the period and end 1-2 days after the period starts.



What happened in that occasion? What about the other times she was on her period in that year?

“That’s where you went wrong. Any disrespect in the early months and you should have walked out. You’ve clearly learned nothing here”

(I pre wrote your reply as it’s as plain as day that’s why you’re asking these questions)

just to be clear:

- I don’t care what you’ve done, how good your woman is and how many grapes she feeds you.
- I don’t care if you think I made an error. Everyone does.
- I don’t believe the mythical woman who treats you like a king and never gets emotional exists, other than in the mind of men who come to a forum because they can’t get women very well when they want to pick fights with people because they tried to help others.
- Trying to pick holes and and humiliate others is not the actions of a well adjusted man, so whatever standard you think you keep, I don’t believe them.

now c0ck off, the lot of you, with no supper!

 

[Murk]

I usually say stop being a prick because you're on your period, I'm not having it, give them attitude back and then ignore/avoid. They soon get the message and behave. I have 0 tolerance for rudeness of any kind from anyone.

Luckily pretty much all my LTRs were loving and wanted a cuddle and chill during period, they were all happy to have sex, no real issues.

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

“That’s where you went wrong. Any disrespect in the early months and you should have walked out. You’ve clearly learned nothing here”

(I pre wrote your reply as it’s as plain as day that’s why you’re asking these questions)

just to be clear:

- I don’t care what you’ve done, how good your woman is and how many grapes she feeds you.
- I don’t care if you think I made an error. Everyone does.
- I don’t believe the mythical woman who treats you like a king and never gets emotional exists, other than in the mind of men who come to a forum because they can’t get women very well when they want to pick fights with people because they tried to help others.
- Trying to pick holes and and humiliate others is not the actions of a well adjusted man, so whatever standard you think you keep, I don’t believe them.

now c0ck off, the lot of you, with no supper!

Dude, chill down and stop putting words into my mouth. That was not what I was gonna say. I just asked the question because I wanted to learn something from your experience. You clearly showed you aren't interested in any sort of rational discussion, which makes me wonder why you even posted this thread in the first place.

 

[Fruitbat]

Dude, chill down and stop putting words into my mouth. That was not what I was gonna say. I just asked the question because I wanted to learn something from your experience. You clearly showed you aren't interested in any sort of rational discussion, which makes me wonder why you even posted this thread in the first place.

I am indeed. It’s just often if you post anything about relationship problems you’ll immediately get roasted because any dude who didn’t immediately next and find the unicorn who grovels at his feet feeding grapes is written off. So you can basically never post about a relationship problem, which defeats the object really.

what do you want to know specifically about her PMS pre marriage . Define the question and I’ll be happy to help, but I did strongly suspect it was going down the route of “it’s your fault”

 

[lost_blackbird]

Build a big sturdy shed at the end of the garden with locks on the outside.
Place a pair of shoes, some chocolate and Hello magazine on top of a mattress
you've thoughtfully put on the floor in there. Hide in garden and wait for trap to
spring, quickly lock shed once she's inside, release in 4-7 days.

You're welcome.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Let's talk about this "dragon". Does he make your wife act like a b!tch to her boss at work? How about the girlfriends she has Sunday brunches with? The cute personal trainer at the gym? Or does the dragon have his sights set squarely on the husband?

Think back to the early days of your relationship. Do you remember how the dragon didn't even exist for the first several months? He probably didn't rear his ugly head until the two of you became exclusive (or said the marriage vows). And when he started to emerge, he did so cautiously and briskly at first, like a solider peeking out of a trench to scan the enemy position? And, with time, the dragon became more and more emboldened, right? Now why do you think that is? Do you think it's because (a) your wife did not have periods before you declared your undying love for her, or (b) there is something else at play here?

Now think about your own emotions and your ability to control them. Male and female emotions are the same. Yes, women are more emotional, on average. But the nature of the emotions does not vary between genders. Have you ever felt like telling your boss to go fvck himself? Or telling the traffic cop to stick that ticket up his ass? I'm sure you have. And I'm sure you were able to resist acting out on those impulses. Why? Fear of consequences. The dragon is a cautious predator. He will only attack when he thinks that the victim won't fight back and has no escape route.

 

[Bokanovsky]

i cut some slack as it’s clearly a medical issue rather than anything else. She’s pretty sweet most of the month and the times she isn’t it’s ALWAYS to do with her cycle.

Once upon a time, I dated a girl who had the same "medical issue" every month. Then, to my surprise, she started "having a period" on a bi-weekly basis. And then every week. I couldn't understand how that was possible but I guess that's why I'm not a scientist

 

[Fruitbat]

Let's talk about this "dragon". Does he make your wife act like a b!tch to her boss at work? How about the girlfriends she has Sunday brunches with? The cute personal trainer at the gym? Or does the dragon have his sights set squarely on the husband?

Think back to the early days of your relationship. Do you remember how the dragon didn't even exist for the first several months? He probably didn't rear his ugly head until the two of you became exclusive (or said the marriage vows). And when he started to emerge, he did so cautiously and briskly at first, like a solider peeking out of a trench to scan the enemy position? And, with time, the dragon became more and more emboldened, right? Now why do you think that is? Do you think it's because (a) your wife did not have periods before you declared your undying love for her, or (b) there is something else at play here?

Now think about your own emotions and your ability to control them. Male and female emotions are the same. Yes, women are more emotional, on average. But the nature of the emotions does not vary between genders. Have you ever felt like telling your boss to go fvck himself? Or telling the traffic cop to stick that ticket up his ass? I'm sure you have. And I'm sure you were able to resist acting out on those impulses. Why? Fear of consequences. The dragon is a cautious predator. He will only attack when he thinks that the victim won't fight back and has no escape route.

Let's talk about this "dragon". Does he make your wife act like a b!tch to her boss at work?

she argues with her coworkers on occasion . And her mother.

How about the girlfriends she has Sunday brunches with?

She hasn’t got girlfriends, our friends we meet as a couple

The cute personal trainer at the gym?

Doesn’t go to the gym. She’s Asian bro. The only thing in life is family.

Or does the dragon have his sights set squarely on the husband?

and other family members. But I’m here more often than


Think back to the early days of your relationship. Do you remember how the dragon didn't even exist for the first several months?

It did happen a few times in the first year.


Largely agree with the rest.

appeasemnt is BS.