SnatchJP
Senior Don Juan
How interested would people be in a long term relationship forum? It would be specifically for guys with commited girlfriends who want advice or tips on how to improve the relationship DJ style. Sound good?
LTR forum?
- Thread starter SnatchJP
- Start date
It's been suggested and requested many, many times and there IS a need for it. There is a whole different set of skills needed to have a successful relationship than what is effective for attraction, getting dates and just getting as far as sex. There isn't much organized and comprehensive advice and tools geared towards maintaining relationships here, unfortunately. Many people want such a forum, but at this point I just don't foresee it happening. It's a shame, too, because eventually everyone on this site will end up in a relationship and could use good information on the subject. I've never seen Allen explain why he won't provide a LTR forum, either. Maybe he'll surprise everyone and share his reasons for not adding one this time. 
squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2003
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- 45
Not really. An "LTR" is really just all those social/seductive skills and attitudes with a strong friendship built on top of it, built from continuous association.
Seriously...you (and not you exclusively, everyone on this site) look at a long-termer like it's a completely DIFFERENT animal from any other type of male-female interaction. That's why most of them fail. When you get right down to it, it's all code.
It's easy to hook up with someone on the physical level. Socio-politico-emotional hookups are a little less often successful. But if it's a MAJOR effort to make it work, chances are she's not the right one. If you end up COMPROMISING and SACRIFICING all the time, which is what I'm sure you mean, Wildfyre, it means that you are NOT with the person you want to be with and you are FORCING a relationship because of your own desire for validation/companionship.
diablo
Master Don Juan
No, that's not really what I'm talking about. I am actually looking more at communication and conflict resolution, understanding the stages a normal and healthy relationship goes through, understanding and identifying the hints each partner gives to tell the other person what it is they need or want. I agree that a relationship where one person ends up making all the sacrifices and compromises isn't really a good situation. The thing is...the tools that are useful in a long term relationship are good things to learn. Once you have them mastered, relationships are SO much easier and better, and can be not only good and enjoyable but fulfilling as well. I just think it's a real shame that this very important and useful area of discussion is so neglected on this site.
Peace and Quiet
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diablo
Master Don Juan
I suppose it's due in some part to the fact that the vast majority of the people on here are focusing primarily on obtaining a girlfriend. What's the phrase... "Out of sight, out of mind". For many, the fact that they don't have a girlfriend (especially one that they're involved in a LTR with) means that that section of the forum would be neglected and fall into disuse. You know the type - you click the button and there are only 4-5 threads that have been active in the past month.
There really isn't any reason why the main DJ Discussion section can't be used for discussing any questions or problems people may have involving their LTR's, at least in my opinion. Perhaps if there were sufficient threads of that nature being actively participated in by many members of the forum at any given time, then a section could be devoted to discussing topics of that sort...
There really isn't any reason why the main DJ Discussion section can't be used for discussing any questions or problems people may have involving their LTR's, at least in my opinion. Perhaps if there were sufficient threads of that nature being actively participated in by many members of the forum at any given time, then a section could be devoted to discussing topics of that sort...
The problem with trying to use the main forum to cover LTR issues is that you can't keep all those threads together for easy access to those looking for tips, ideas, methods, tools and the like specifically geared towards LTRs. Although I do agree with you that in MOST cases such a specific forum tends to end up fairly dead...I really don't think that would be the case with a LTR forum. I think it would actually be far more active than you're thinking it would be. Just the requests for advice about LTRs on the main forum and Mature Man forum alone would quickly fill a LTR forum. The ONLY downside I see to giving a LTR forum a test drive would be that there might be less activity on the Mature Man forum. But honestly...there is less of a need for that forum and more of a need for a forum to organize LTR subject matter.