LTR fizzling - need advice

[Ronin I]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 16 months now and lately it seems like our relationship has been fizzling out lately.

The past month we haven't spent that much time together and when we do see each other it's not really "quality" time.

I'm embarrassed to admit that we have not had sex since New Year's Eve (an entire month as of today). This is partly due to both of our busy schedules and the fact that I've had a pretty bad case of the winter time blues and my libido has been very low lately.

My libido aside, I want to try and rev things back up between us. I feel like we might be drifting apart.

I haven't been in an LTR this long in a very long time and I'm not sure how to handle this.

To complicate matters my girl has openly questioned the relationship lately, wondering out loud if we should take a break, etc.

I do love her and would hate to lose her.

 

[Slickster]

If she's talking about "breaks" then her IL is getting critically low.

If you want to make this last then you have to do something drastic quickly or else you'll lose her.

Take her on a date. Surprise her with a gift. Go on a trip somewhere you've never been before.

You must bring some excitement back into the relationship otherwise its doomed.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Immediately get the following:

1. Plutonium
2. Flux Capacitor
3. Delorean
   [/list=1]
   
   With these things you can build a time machine and go back to the time you two first started dating.
   
   Alright, I know how hard it is to find a Delorean nowadays do try this; remember the things the two of you did when you first started dating. Do those things again, pretend that you are starting over with her.
   
   Take her out on a real date. Flirt with her, kino her up. Give her a d@mn good fvck, yeah a D@MN good one. None of that making love BS, fvck her like your life depended on it!!!! Let her know that you appreciate her (without supplicating).
   
   The key to this and all LTRs is not to let familiarity get the best of the relationship. Whatever either of you do in the relationship either enhances or contaminates it. Make sure that the relationship is always evolving and moving forward. Stagnant relationships eventually fossilize into simple memories of the past, never regaining the vibrancy they once had.

 

[Desdinova]

You have to realize that most things don't last forever. You also sound like you've become dependent on this relationship. You should know that if things don't work out, you'll have no problem getting other women.

Quit basing your happiness on her. Base your happiness on yourself and your own achievements.

I agree with Slickster, if she's talking about breaks, her IL is very low.

Remember, it's not the end of the world if the two of you break up.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

You guys sound as if you don't care why a woman would loose interest after it had previously been high. Go ahead and next her without finding out. The next woman will more than likely loose interest too.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

This is a dead end - a woman who is having sex with a dude and is not satisfied will move on to her next pimp - this is what hors do!!!

 

[cactus3178]

Goddamn, PR_L...I love your logic...but sometimes, dude, you f*cking crack me up.


-Anyway-

I seem to have this skill for bringing LTRs back from the dead, BUT, I always lose interest when they come back and let it slip again

Oh f*cking well. That's my personal problem to deal with.

Anyhow, this sounds totally saveable from what you've shared here.

What started this in the first place? One of the things that's so hard to figure out is where the hell things go 'wrong'. Usually, it's so gradual that nobody notices until it's 'too late'. Try to figure that out, then you'll have something to work with.

In the meantime,

Don't say anything to her at all. Don't admit any wrong, just change whatever got you to this point. If you guys live together, as soon as she gets home, inform her that your going out, then take her somewhere you haven't been in a long time.

Tell her that you realize that things have been different, and for whatever reason (don't say what), you have it figured out and things will be back to normal shortly.

Then keep it fun, ****y, confident, funny, fresh. That's how you (probably) got her in the first place. Don't kiss her ass, just let her know by actions that this lull in your relationship is over.

Regardless of what anybody here says about this being AFC (I hate that goddamn term), it'll work. After that, it's up to you.

On the almost impossible chance that it doesn't work, cut it off with her. Don't say anything about breaking up, taking a break, etc. Just be super busy, don't return phone calls, emails. AT ALL for a few days. I guarantee your phone will be blowing up at the end of a few days.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

I'll give anyone 1,000 to 1 odds that this girl is getting sexed by another dude!!! Sorry Ronin, but your best move is not to cry on her shoulder and just realize that she is moving on to the next pimp!!

DJ Ronin, This has nothing to do with love so don't go there!! A girl who is in "love" doesn't say. "Let us take a break" - this is never heard!!!! You should have seen the signs of her disinterest months ago but you were tooo infactuated by the vagina to see the signs!

DJ Cactus - reality is what it is - why not acknowledge it and respect it for what it is - reality ALWAYS wins in the end...and hope is based on wishes - wishes are not real - they are only imaginary!!