**Cross-posted in The Mature Man forum**
Background – I am 29 years old she is 28.
We met in a bar about 2 years ago, been dating for about a year in a half. This is the longest relationship I’ve ever been in.
Recently my girl has been sending me mixed signals, but most of them seem to point to the fact that she wants out of the relationship. Last Thursday we got into an argument and we basically “broke-up”. Friday night I went back over to her house, it seemed that we patched things up, we had a good weekend together, but last night we were again discussing that we have not resolved all of our problems.
Lately my girl will openly rattle off all of the reasons why she doesn’t see things working out for us long term. Some examples are:
- she is a devout Catholic – I was raised Catholic but do not practice. She wants her family to be raised in the faith and questions whether or not as a father I’ll be able to provide that guidance to “our” children.
- I play poker online part time to earn extra money. Even though I have consistently won over the past two years, she hates the fact that I “gamble” and fears a worse case scenario where if we were married someday, I’d lose our life savings in a poker game or something.
- She is bothered by the fact that we’ve been together this long but don’t “know” that we want to marry each other. She thinks we should “know” by now.
- She will openly question how I was raised (I was raised by a single mom) and whether or not that will impact what kind of father I will be.
- She thinks I am too preoccupied with making money and that that would distract me from being a good father/husband.
She will then discuss whether or not she is willing to “accept” these things or not.
My girl is pretty up-front with what she wants. She wants to get married and she wants to start a family – and she wants to do these things soon. She is 28 and she realizes that time is not on her side. She will say that she loves me in one breath and then in the next she’ll say that she doesn’t want to marry me and that that bothers her. I respond that I am not ready to get married either and that I am certainly not ready to propose to some one who just told me they don’t want to marry me (obviously).
To make matters worse our sex life is non-exsistent. We took a trip to Vegas for a few days the week before last where I was hoping to rekindle some physical spark, but her cycle did not comply.
I do love the girl – I don’t want to give up on the relationship but I am growing weary of her constant tests. Each time she rattles off a reason why it’s not working, I try to reason with her that it’s something that we can work through. But, I am getting tired of defending myself all of the time.
Anyone been through something like this before that can offer some meaningful advice/insight?
Background – I am 29 years old she is 28.
We met in a bar about 2 years ago, been dating for about a year in a half. This is the longest relationship I’ve ever been in.
Recently my girl has been sending me mixed signals, but most of them seem to point to the fact that she wants out of the relationship. Last Thursday we got into an argument and we basically “broke-up”. Friday night I went back over to her house, it seemed that we patched things up, we had a good weekend together, but last night we were again discussing that we have not resolved all of our problems.
Lately my girl will openly rattle off all of the reasons why she doesn’t see things working out for us long term. Some examples are:
- she is a devout Catholic – I was raised Catholic but do not practice. She wants her family to be raised in the faith and questions whether or not as a father I’ll be able to provide that guidance to “our” children.
- I play poker online part time to earn extra money. Even though I have consistently won over the past two years, she hates the fact that I “gamble” and fears a worse case scenario where if we were married someday, I’d lose our life savings in a poker game or something.
- She is bothered by the fact that we’ve been together this long but don’t “know” that we want to marry each other. She thinks we should “know” by now.
- She will openly question how I was raised (I was raised by a single mom) and whether or not that will impact what kind of father I will be.
- She thinks I am too preoccupied with making money and that that would distract me from being a good father/husband.
She will then discuss whether or not she is willing to “accept” these things or not.
My girl is pretty up-front with what she wants. She wants to get married and she wants to start a family – and she wants to do these things soon. She is 28 and she realizes that time is not on her side. She will say that she loves me in one breath and then in the next she’ll say that she doesn’t want to marry me and that that bothers her. I respond that I am not ready to get married either and that I am certainly not ready to propose to some one who just told me they don’t want to marry me (obviously).
To make matters worse our sex life is non-exsistent. We took a trip to Vegas for a few days the week before last where I was hoping to rekindle some physical spark, but her cycle did not comply.
I do love the girl – I don’t want to give up on the relationship but I am growing weary of her constant tests. Each time she rattles off a reason why it’s not working, I try to reason with her that it’s something that we can work through. But, I am getting tired of defending myself all of the time.
Anyone been through something like this before that can offer some meaningful advice/insight?
