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Low self-esteem

Locster

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This is whats holding me back from becoming the best i can be. I dont like the way i look and sound and the impression i leave on people. Im not ugly, lots of girls think im hot (mostly average ones though) and im not a loser. Im an average person, I just dont leave the right impression on people. What can i do to gain the confidence and feel better about myself. I want to be able to socialize to my full potential but my low self-esteem is hurting me badly.
 

AngelusPUA

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You need to become the man that women desire, you have to have to cultivate all the attributes that attract women and dispel all the ones that don’t.

What do women want?

A guy that is handsome and/or Sexy
Can't do much about being attractive, either you are or you're not. You can obviously work out to get a more muscular, toned body and eat right. Get a haircut that suits you, shave or grow a moustache you really need to experiment, ask some female friends if you look better with a goatee or with spikey hair instead of a shaved head, you get the idea.

A guy that knows how to dress
Shopping at chain stores is not your best bet, going for Versace is out of some people budgets but in every mall there is at least one store that has good cloths that are more expensive than those of chain stores. This is not always the best place to shop because in terms of getting into high class clubs these cloths won't cut it but if you’re on a budget and want to look good, go for it. What you think looks good on you often doesn’t, it’s a good idea to take a female shopping with you as she can help you pick out cloths that suit you or ask the guy/girl that works in the store. They might try to sell you the most expensive stuff but usually they are ok.

Wit
Wit is difficult to work on and it comes with experience, if you talk with witty people you will slowly start to pick it up. It is also a good idea to watch some comedians Eddie Murphy for example. I read a book called "comedy writing secrets" that really helped me cultivate my wit. Wit is very important; a smart man uses wit to dominate you (AMOG) so it is beneficial for you to be witty. You can read books and listen to comedians but still I say the best way to become Witty is by experience, you need to get out there and socialize. Women find wit irresistible……

Confidence
This is a hard one and it takes a long time to become totally confident, my first step would be to take a self defense class. If you can find one do a UFC course because if you get into a street fight you’re not going to use fancy karate moves it’s going to be hard and fast. When you know how to defend yourself you will feel a lot more confident in social situations. You also should go to the gym and try to get in shape (If you aren’t already). Not only does exercise raise confidence because of the obvious physical benefits but working out gives you a sense of accomplishment which sitting in front of a computer doesn’t, this sense of accomplishment translates into confidence. Wearing good cloths, learning how to speak virtually everything you do to benefit yourself will increase your confidence. Your friends also play a huge role in how confident you are, if you have friends that are constantly putting you down because they themselves aren’t confident then you need to cut them off. You need to have positive friend that appreciate you, not people that put you down, I read a study that stated ‘We begin to mirror the people we associate ourselves with’, so if you want to become confident stay away from non confident people.

Class
What can I say about class? It all got to do with your hobbies, what you wear, the people you associate yourself with, how you talk. Take a look at some of the classy guys throughout history real and fictional, James Bond, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra. Classy guys drink an $80 bottle of wine while normal guys drink a $10, classy guys wear classy cloths while normal wear t-shirts.

Charm
-Smile: If you don’t smile you’re not charming, simple
-Let people talk: You just listen and let people tell you about themselves, biggest mistake guys make on a date is to talk about themselves too much. Let the girl talk about everything and anything all you have to do is listen and obviously carry the conversation along.
-Compliment do not flatter: The difference between a compliment and flattery is that compliments have no hidden agenda, It’s just a genuine compliment and it doesn’t make the person feel uncomfortable. Do not compliment somebody unless you really mean it, women especially have a good radar for bullsh*t. Another dating mistake guys make is over complimenting, you come off as fake and desperate, give the girl one sincere compliment and don’t make a big deal of it.
-Selflessness: The secret to charm is to be selfless. You are not being charming because you want something in return; you are being charming because that’s who you are. Do not give compliments with the expectation of receiving a compliment in return; do not listen with the expectation of being listened to.
-Eye contact: Straight forward, make sure you don’t stare.
-Confidence: I know these so called Gurus say to use ****iness but I say use confidence it’s different to ****iness. ****iness means you have something to prove, confidence means you have nothing to prove because you already know everything you need to know.
-Genuine interest: You need to have a real interest in getting to know people, don’t ask questions not wanting to hear the answers you need to have a curiosity about the person.

Danger
Women like a man with an edge of danger, go sky diving, base jump, rock climb, bungee jump do something that makes you unique.

Mystery
-Don’t give her your daily itinerary: Basically don’t tell her what you are going to do all day tomorrow; your life is yours you don’t need to tell her everything.
-Be vague: There are times when you can be vague about yourself, for instance when a girl asks me what I do for work I tell her “that’s my business”. I don’t do it in a rude way I just say it normally, sometimes they will drop it sometimes they will try and guess but don’t give in.
-Don’t always answer her calls: You should lead a busy life so in reality you shouldn’t have time to answer her calls anyway. If she asks why you didn’t answer tell her “I was busy” and don’t elaborate, she doesn’t need to know everything you do.
 

blinkwatt

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Locster said:
This is whats holding me back from becoming the best i can be. I dont like the way i look and sound and the impression i leave on people. Im not ugly, lots of girls think im hot (mostly average ones though) and im not a loser. Im an average person, I just dont leave the right impression on people. What can i do to gain the confidence and feel better about myself. I want to be able to socialize to my full potential but my low self-esteem is hurting me badly.
You can start in any area.

-Lift weights and/or exercising. You just start to develop a higher self esteem.

-Buy clothes that you are 100% comfortable with. Never cheat yourself on clothes,I know I get kinda paranoid when I wear clothes I dont like/aren't used to. So what if they are expensive,NEVER CHEAT YOUSELF.

-Try to eat better,instead of the McDonalds,try a upper class restuarant down the street. Instead of Burger King go home and make a few sandwhiches. This helps some people.

-Hang out with your friends more and back off of the T.V. and video games.

-Try to stop cursing,not say that you do but I noticed that I think highly of people who do not curse. Wouldn't you feel better about yourself if you could refrain from cursing unlike the rest of society? Watch and listen to others curse,then lisen to yourself curse. You will realize how unneccassary cursing is.

Try some of those. Let me know if they work for you.
 

AngelusPUA

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blinkwatt said:
You can start in any area.

-Lift weights and/or exercising. You just start to develop a higher self esteem.

-Buy clothes that you are 100% comfortable with. Never cheat yourself on clothes,I know I get kinda paranoid when I wear clothes I dont like/aren't used to. So what if they are expensive,NEVER CHEAT YOUSELF.

-Try to eat better,instead of the McDonalds,try a upper class restuarant down the street. Instead of Burger King go home and make a few sandwhiches. This helps some people.

-Hang out with your friends more and back off of the T.V. and video games.

-Try to stop cursing,not say that you do but I noticed that I think highly of people who do not curse. Wouldn't you feel better about yourself if you could refrain from cursing unlike the rest of society? Watch and listen to others curse,then lisen to yourself curse. You will realize how unneccassary cursing is.

Try some of those. Let me know if they work for you.
You wouldn't believe how much eliminating cursing will change your personality and the way people perceive you. I was swearing so much it got to the point where I had to put an elastic band around my wrist and every time I swore id pull it and let go....It worked.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

blinkwatt

Master Don Juan
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Locster said:
Thanks guys i really need some time alone to think where im going in life
Your already on the right path by acknowledging that! Congrats!
 

everywomanshero

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Dudes, I think this guy might need more than the DJ Bible. These are seperate issues, IMHO. On one hand he probably is infected with feminist propaganda, so he does need the DJ Bible. This is easily fixed, probably within a year.

On the other side, the low self esteem and thoise issues that prevent him from feeling worthy I find more serious. By using information and a new outlook on life, I feel he can start to get some positive feedback which will help but I'm not he's ready to face the backlash that is inevitable when one starts becoming a cool guy by haters both male and female.

I'm going to suggest finding some really good friends that are female to boost self confidence. Meet them online if going out is too much right now. Even phone conversations will help. Pay attention to womens' speaking style and how it differs from men. Try to keep convos light hearted, if you start to get too serious or sound "down" change topics or put her on hold for a sec to collect yourself. Finally, I think you should seek professional assistence with the depression/self esteem stuff. I wouldn't even mention the seduction community to them though, because likely they will be skeptical. Instead, I'd individually treat the two problems.
 

Ace of Flames

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Everywhere you want to be.... I'm like a Visa card
Angelus, are you using that list everywhere now? Its still a good list, but... lol.

I dunno if the whole therapy idea is best. Unless you have very deeply rooted problems with this, I'd suggest saving your money and taking the rest of the advice. Sure, therapy will work, and work well, might I add. But when you can fix it with simpler means like just going out more, I'd take that anyday.
 

blinkwatt

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Locster said:
what are good places for a 17 year old to go out and make friends
The gym, a car club and your job(get to meet customers and act like you care about them).
 

everywomanshero

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I'd definitely get an afterschool job. If possible a mall would seem like a good choice, sadly many stores you may have to be 18+. Other places might be a teen club or a place that lots of people hang at/think is cool near you. Worth a shot, why not get paid to talk to hotties?
 
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