Low interest?

[guitaronfire411]

Here's a quick summary:

- Contacted a girl on an online social dating website.
- She replied back. We chatted about where I work, where she works, her pets, my pet, etc.

- I made a reply and it was quasi light-hearted about my pet being lazy. She stops replying.

- Fast forward a while, possibly half a week or more. I happened to talk to her on Wed (?) evening (on MSN) and made her laugh. Left the convo early on a high note.

- Girl contacts me on Sunday morning out of frickin' nowhere, asking if I can hang-out that same day or Tues: "So I have tonight and tomorrow off.. if you wanna hangout give me a call or text me.. (# here)". I did not ask for the # but actually gave mine twice before, after telling her that we should get together and watch a TV show.

- I reply back, saying I have plans for Sunday but nothing concrete yet for Monday night. I'll give her a shout then.

- Monday evening, 8PM, I phone her. Her # is legit but I get her voicemail. I leave a message saying we were supposed to hangout but I had some stuff to do. Give me a shout back if you want to hangout or talk and left my home #.

No reply yet. Am I being tested or does she have low interest in me?

Thanks in advance.

 

[betterthandead]

try calling her tomorrow.

 

[guitaronfire411]

She works full time from 9AM to 6PM~ Tues to Sat. This means if I give her a call, it would probably be best if I phoned Saturday for a date on Monday.

I would like to call earlier but it seems bad that I phoned her and she never phoned back. My main concern is also what to say if she doesn't pick up? Two phone calls without a phone back from her makes me look desperate.

 

[MotownMack]

Well, she has some interest, or she wouldn't have asked to hang out.

Now, you might be tempted to think she was just bored and looking for something to do on that day, and that her interest was maybe not that high-but it that's the case, she wouldn't have offered Tuesday as an alternative.

She's interested, to what degree, it's impossible to say from what you've provided here. Depending on your interest level, you could try to call her again today or tomorrow. But if she doesn't answer, that would absolutely be my last call.

FYI- you're over analyzing this a bit, and sounds like you may be setting yourself up to blow it by trying to hard or thinking about it too much (analyzing emails, what she doesn't respond to, etc).

It's online dating dude. Woman flake in the venue initially more than any other. I can't tell you how many times I went from having 5 or 6 prospects for a week or so-where we talked on the phone, got along well enough, etc- only to be down to 2, within a week. Something a little shiner may have come along. And many times, they end up reconnecting with you after a few days or a week. So, employ this same strategy back-go talk to some more girls and let this situation unfold naturally, without putting to much thought or effort into it.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

RE:makes me look desperate.

You are desperate. Who cares about this chick anyway? yes she has little or no interest.

Calling on the monday night to do something that evening is not enough notice. Most people need at least a couple of days, and LIKE to know what they are doing.

Why are you asking a girl round to watch a tv show anyhow??????

 

[guitaronfire411]

I haven't phoned her yet. I want to get her thinking about me so she'll make a move, or at least not phone the day after and look like she's on the spotlight. Last time she gave the digits when we stopped talking.

I am going to phone her tonight and that will be it. I'll offer Monday evening for us to get together.

Desperate? I've made one phone call. She also knew that I'd call last Monday because she offered both days to me, remember? I will agree that I have oneitis for her that I haven't had with a girl for a long time, but in no way am I desperate as I used to be years ago.

Btw, the TV show was my online opener. We're were discussing getting together on the couch to watch the show.... or were we?

 

[MotownMack]

I don't think the poster was saying you were acting desperate towards her, but that the tone of your post sounded desperate considering all you've done is chat with her a bit.

And essentially, I was saying the same thing-not that you were desperate, but just over thinking it this early in the game (too worried about controlling the outcome, etc).

My attitude towards online plates is totally different than it was a year ago, partially because of experience and partly because of this site. I don't give to much thought to anything until at least the first date/meet. Until then, you don't even know if either one of you will have any IL at all.

In any case, I think your strategy is fine. After tonights phone call, if doesn't answer, NEXT her.

Also, something I have been doing more lately that seems to be working pretty well-if she doesn't answer, and the phone rings (i.e. you know it didn't go straight to voice mail and she had the number on her caller ID), don't leave a message. This is bit of mystery as to why I called seems to get the phone calls returned a lot quicker.

Of course, this assumes 2 things:

1) That she has at least some interest to care that you called (even if it's only a little)
2) That she knows your number, and will know it's you that called.

Good luck.

 

[DonGorgon]

She is BSing... and spinning plates to get what she wants when she wants... She has several options and will F the one that is most convenient..

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

Try to match your timing with hers.... She asked you out so you should have said yes and made a concrete plan..

She will play wishy washy from now on so you gotta wait for another chance and spin other plates..

 

[guitaronfire411]

I've been with SS.com for 7 years. My first account was in 2001. I used to strictly go by the "DJ rules" too.

So, after remembering that there are no rules, tonight I made a second call. (The old Mystery also advocates two phone calls and then ditching the number.)

I'm not a believer in waiting for things to happen. I like to make things happen. I reached her and we made tentative plans for Monday evening. She was really out of it, but mentioned that she had entered my cell # in her phone. My only concern is that she wants to text me on Sunday night....which doesn't sound great. If she flakes, then I'll gladly admit that I've been a fool.

Thank you everyone for your help.