Low interest? This girl is weird.

[summersky]

Hi everyone,

went out on three dates with this girl and kissed her on the last one. Actually she was like begging me to kiss her. After the last date she also was contacting me often. After a few days I wanted to come to her place to cook together, she said she is too tired. Waited a few days and asked her out to go to town and chill at the bar. Again too tired but said we could do it on another day. I didnt react to it. Then in the evening she called, said she just wanted to talk to me. I responded by saying "I wont entertain girls, if they dont make time for me. Figure out your schedule and let me now". She said she will do it.. So now I went NC.. What do you think, did i overreact? Was I too harsh? I dont really know..

Regards

 

[Die Hard]

You weren't too harsh. You want something from her (to meet up) and she's refusing to give it. So fvck her, she's not getting what she wants either (just wanting to talk on the phone).

Just don't say it to her like this, don't tell her you are not talking to her BECAUSE she won't meet up. Simply tell her: "Sorry, I really gotta go now so I don't have time to talk. Catch ya later!"

Yes, you are denying her the conversation coz she is denying you the meetup, and she knows this... But you don't literally say to her that that's what's going on!

This makes a big difference. When you say it literally, there's a big chance she'll think: "You're being childish, go fvck yourself..." But when you just DO it without explaining it, she will more probably interpret that as an act of a high value guy who knows what he wants and isn't willing to be an emotional tampon who just talks to girls on the phone.

Women are morons and you need to apply seemingly illogical communication to them if you want to be successful with them.

 

[summersky]

Thank you for replying,

of course true what you said. She offered another date but even wasnt sure about it, so I ignored it. So now I am going NC until she reaches out (if she reaches out) right? Or should I call her in a few days, tell a day and time for a last time?

 

[Die Hard]

You made an agreement with her, she will figure out her schedule and let you know. So it is up to her to contact you and let you know!

If you can't control yourself and YOU contact her first, it shows her that you have a weak mind. It shows her that you couldn't deal with the uncertainty about when she will contact you, that the waiting was driving you crazy. This is unattractive behavior to her and will lower her interest.

So don't be stupid. Just wait for her and don't think of her in the meantime, focus on other women...

If you contact her first, you lose! It's like a staredown, the person who breaks eye contact first is the loser.

 

[nismo-4]

Just ditch this b**ch and move on!

Don't hold your breath on her contacting you.

Case closed.

 

[Poon King]

Nice guy beta game doesn't work on women unless they're looking for a sucker to exploit. In which case they'll set their sights on a beta with $$$ or something more to offer.

If you're a normal everyday regular guy.. you need to use the approach of getting physical ASAP. This is how a dominant man acts.

A dominant man does not ask questions such as: Did i overreact? Was I too harsh? :crackup:

Such questions imply a low level of testosterone in the blood.

If its not too harsh for a woman to treat you like you're not important (basically like you're a peasant) then why is it too harsh to put such a woman in her place? (a woman you shouldn't even be dealing with).

Men need to have more dignity. If a woman doesn't behave up to your standards.. then you should not be dealing with her in the first place.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Summer Sky,
She is just a ship that passed in the night!

 

[yuppaz]

She was probably testing you for weakness (you may have asked her out in a bad way that first time...asking to go to her place). If she reaches out to you again tell her that you want to get together for a drink / dinner etc. And ask her when she is free. Don't chat on the phone for more then a few minutes, tell her you are really busy but want to see her, set a specific date and time and get off the phone.

 

[summersky]

Hello again,
The story went like this: Few days later I called her and set up a new date. We went to the town had drinks. I kissed her, felt like she wanted it. We got really touchy. I touched her ass/boobs... I think I made a good impression. Few days later asked her out again. She said we need to talk and that she isnt ready for a relationship in general and wants to be just friends. What means that she isnt attracted to me and used this as a bs excuse. She told me also that she didnt got over her last relationship. Thats it.

But I really want to know what went wrong.. So I will tell you about other things. On the first date she didnt seem interested at all. She flaked on me till today maybe for 6 or 7 times. I gave her a gift for valentines day, she didnt even said thank you or called me. I helped her with her application, she didnt even said thank you. But on the last few dates she seemed interested. Asked me things like what I will do to her in bed and stuff. I gave her a lot of compliments. But didnt act needy imo. was very sexual teasing. was **** and funny and negged her also. The last few days she contacted me as much as I contacted her. So wtf went wrong?

Is it possible that she wasnt interested from the beginning at all? Did I just dated a girl with low interest? Or did I messed up bye insisting so much on a date, asking so much. Was my valentines gift (dress and a cd) too much, too fast? Was I too needy, too weak?

What do you think?

 

[Romjuan]

Funny, i was in a similar situation. Theres an obvious answer.

ITS because you showed too much interest. She liked it fun and casual and you showed neediness. You almost have to keep your mindset as playboy type and let her be the one asking you to stop seeing other girls and take her more seriously. Rather, you were showing too many signs that you were too into her.

Take two weeks off from contacting her. If she doesnt reach out to you during that time, reach out to her and bring back that ****y Summersky that has a lot going for himself.

Good luck.

 

[yuppaz]

I wasn't there, so can't be 100% but it sounds like you folks were calling each other in between dates and basically by doing that killing the attraction. The phone is just for setting up dates, not for doing other sh*t. You also shouldn't do sh*t for a girl on valentines unless she is in love with you. Your job as a man is just to make the dates, and when you are on them just have fun and hook up. Keep it light, DON'T talk about relationship type stuff, let her do that. Just be you, have fun with her, have good sex with her and that's it. Let her do all the relationship stuff.

 

[summersky]

Thanks again
Maybe I showed a little too much interest. But does it really matter with a decent interest girl? My feeling is telling me that she had low interest from the start and the little mistakes I made, just made it zero. She was also playing around like telling me she feels lonely and need someone to talk to. When I told her we can meet, she said no.. Guess this was a low quality woman.

When it comes to neediness, I realized that low interest is creating my neediness. I mean if I get the feeling that the girl isnt really into it, I become needy a little bit. Does anybody know what I mean? Cause the most girls I dated showed at least interest and didnt flake more then one time on me. I also gave them gifts and showered them with compliments and it didnt matter. Anyway fugged them.

Dont will contact her ever again. Feeling like I got played because of the mixed signals she sent. Also sent her a last message like she should me more grateful for gifts and stop dating other men for attention, she should grow up.

Regards

 

[summersky]

Got an update..
After no contacting her for a few days she sent me this message:
She is thinking about me a lot. She is not sure if she made the right desicion. She explained that she was hurt really bad by her ex and is afraid of falling in love again, afraid of getting hurt again. She is running away from her feelings and is driven by fear.

Funny. So what would you do in a situation like this if you really like the girl? I thought about sending her a message like "Yeah sometimes fear is really hard to overcome, maybe you make it one day. Take care." Or I wont answer this message at all. Till she is telling me something like she want to continue dating.

What do you think?

 

[CrashOverRide]

Got an update..
After no contacting her for a few days she sent me this message:
She is thinking about me a lot. She is not sure if she made the right desicion. She explained that she was hurt really bad by her ex and is afraid of falling in love again, afraid of getting hurt again. She is running away from her feelings and is driven by fear.

Funny. So what would you do in a situation like this if you really like the girl? I thought about sending her a message like "Yeah sometimes fear is really hard to overcome, maybe you make it one day. Take care." Or I wont answer this message at all. Till she is telling me something like she want to continue dating.

What do you think?

I would just keep it very light... and say "we should just hang out casually and talk"... or something to that effect. Once you get her out just start with kino escalation and do your thing. What the previous poster here said about verbalizing your intentions is 100% true... Make her feel comfortable and then do your thing is the best advice I can sum up for you.

 

[summersky]

Thank you. Yeah I think I will text her this. "I know what you mean about fear. Scince we can talk to each other so well, we should just hang out casually and talk!" Then call her after a few days and arrange a "casual" fun-date.

 

[yuppaz]

Thank you. Yeah I think I will text her this. "I know what you mean about fear. Scince we can talk to each other so well, we should just hang out casually and talk!" Then call her after a few days and arrange a "casual" fun-date.

Don't beat around the bush. Her message to you translates into: Hey ask me out!
just tell her you want to see her and ask her when she is free. Go out, have fun keep it light and hook up (or not if she isn't ready yet)

 

[summersky]

She replied:. "Sounds good!" Dont sure if she really wants me to ask her out. Or maybe she is really taking it as a friend now. But yeah it doesnt really matter.

Will wait a few days and ask her out. Already asked a friend of her out to chill out :-D. She got already one time somehow jelous because of this friend.

With the hooking up.. yeah thats my problem cause i am living with my parents at the moment. She is living in a living community with her friends. I guess she feels weird about hooking up at her place. Cause she rejected all my ideas to hang out at her place. Dont really know.

We will see if persistance pays out for me. Like said, will ask her out in a few days.

 

[VladPatton]

Ok, this one is all over the place, yet your game is working on her to some extent. Stop talking about feelings, past relationships, and anything heavy for now. Concentrate on dates, fun, banging, and a general good time. Let her bring up relationship status. Stop over thinking and just look to have a good time with her. The more you bring up feelings and serious relationship talk the more she'll flip-flop back and forth and it'll drive you mad.

On the other hand, if she keeps see-sawing you with hot and cold feelings, then just dump her ASAP. You're not her therapist. Tell her to call you when she figures her life out.

Good luck.

 

[summersky]

This girl is really annoying guys..

So I asked her out a few days ago, wanted to take her out for dinner. Set a time and place. She told me, ill let you know tomorrow. The next day, nothing from her.. Guess its time to next her completely?

 

[Die Hard]

YES!! NEXT this foolish child into oblivion!

Look, this is just the tip of the iceberg, man. Her behavior sure isn't gonna improve, if that's what you're hoping for! If anything, it'll just get worse the more you keep seeing her...

There are girls out there who DON'T act like fvcking Jekyll & Hyde, so go out there and find one of those. Why? Coz you deserve one, that's why!

By the way, you're a sucker. You looked away first in the metaphorical staredown, didn't you! :nono: