Love is extremely powerful

[iqqi]

"On another note, I especially enjoyed KX's poem. Sigh."

Lighten up iqqster.

That wasn't a poem girly that was a great song by Huey Lewis about the power of love oh yeah!

I was being serious, I enjoyed it.

I knew it wasn't original. !

 

[guru1000]

Love is what one feels when one's top percentile of selection takes a deep interest and a deep rapport is built.

If either of the two, top percentile or deep interest is missing , LOVE is never in the equation.

The janitor will fall in LOVE with the model, if all other qualities of the two are within close range and the model shows deep interest.

Here is to LOVE.

 

[STR8UP]

The Fear of Intimacy Thread

DEleted

Oops....see The Fear of Intimacy Thread

 

[iqqi]

I am afraid of intimacy and commitment.
:wave:
So I know there is a such thing.

I freak out when I meet someone worthy of commitment, that I get intimate with, who wants more. FREAK OUT.

 

[Interceptor]

Thats why you need to read Lovely Lady's post again, skeerdey cat!:moon:

 

[iqqi]

Thats why you need to read Lovely Lady's post again, skeerdey cat!:moon:

I've been meaning to get over there and contribute, as I skimmed it and seen it was absolutely fantastic of a thread, but I haven't had a minute to really sit down and absorb something of real depth. I will make my way over there sometime this week.

 

[KontrollerX]

Damn Str8up...

I wish this place had an applause emoticon because this last post of yours deserves a standing ovation.

Absolutely agree brother.

 

[frivolousz21]

The article has some stuff in it, but it's fairly out of whack: for example, how could physical attraction be the stage AFTER lust? They're suggesting that you can lust for someone you don't find physically attractive?

Lust/ infatuation can hit hard at first, and it's all a chemical reaction still not fully understood by scientists.

Lots of folks mistake lust/ infatuation for being "love". It can LEAD to love, but it's not true love.

Infatuation can not maintained endlessly. That "honeymoon" phase typically lasts from a few months to a few years but it has to either go to the next deeper stage and transmute to real love or go nowhere at all and die out or, the last alternative, keep one person in love but not the other, which leads to a rocky relationship.

In time, the brain gets used to the euphoric effects of the PEA chemicals. It requires intense sacrifice to not be able to sleep, eat, work, etc., without day dreaming about the person obsessed in our thoughts. It's draining to feed their ego continuously. This is the sort of stuff infatuation makes you go through. You can't keep it up forever.

Nature intends for this phase to last just long enough for us to bond and make babies. If these chemicals didn't exist and do their work, we'd never get together and stay together long enough as a species.

So, let's say that you started dating maybe around 16, and in 8 years or so, you've had 4 gals, also around your age, claim to love you within a month or so.

That, my friend, is more likely infatuation then it was real love.

True love takes longer to develop and it's more than just physical attraction. You can't really love someone you don't really know. Time is needed to discover another person. We're complex critters.

Hopeless romantics don't believe these facts, their idea of love is more of an ideal then it is reality. That's why they're termed as "hopeless". Reality can never be as good as fantasy, and so, they think something's wrong with their relationships when things don't go according to their ideal, or the honeymoon feelings subside. But that's another topic.

Where are these four women today? Obviously, things didn't work out. If that was 8 years worth of real love over four women, I'd say true love is very short-lived and thus, really sucks. But as for infatuation... that's typical.

I didnt mean to say they loved me within 1 month.

all of them were 8+ month relationships.

2 of them, were nearly 3 years.

I have been 99 percent at fault for my relationship failures because of my "ego" and players attitude..which I hope I can rid myself of..and really care for someone genuinely.

 

[STR8UP]

I have been 99 percent at fault for my relationship failures because of my "ego" and players attitude..which I hope I can rid myself of..and really care for someone genuinely.

I see the old Friv is back!

There are a lot of things that will drive a woman away, but an "ego" and a "player's attitude" generally aren't on the list.

Enjoy the ride, it could get a little bumpy....

 

[iqqi]

I see the old Friv is back!

There are a lot of things that will drive a woman away, but an "ego" and a "player's attitude" generally aren't on the list.

Enjoy the ride, it could get a little bumpy....

.....


Take this from MR. SINGLE forever and ever.

^^^Being sarcastic.

Ego and playeristic guys DO drive away women who HAVE IT TOGETHER.

It is refreshing to see a sosuaver take responsibility for their faults, instead of blaming it on womankind. Kudos to Friv.

 

[wjh]

but an "ego" and a "player's attitude" generally aren't on the list.

I disagree, but not completely. Although some girls will not necessarily be repulsed by ego, an inflated sense of self-worth not built on a solid foundation of real self-esteem, can cause huge inner-game problems. At least, that was one of my biggest hurdles in overcoming my inner-AFC.

 

[guru1000]

.....

Ego and playeristic guys DO drive away women who HAVE IT TOGETHER.

<Clears Throat>

Says who?

Playeristic maybe. Certainly not true EGO built on VALUE.

 

[iqqi]

<Clears Throat>

Says who?

Playeristic maybe. Certainly not true EGO built on VALUE.

That's different, I for one am very attracted to men who are ****y.

But an overinflated ego is never a good thing. And a man who acts mostly off of ego and not some higher thought, is not attractive at all. Very insecure usually, in an attempt to protect said ego.

'Nah I mean?

 

[frivolousz21]

maybe its not ego...but after 6-8 months..I always lose interest..I have never really cared...when I was 15...my heart got broke in highschool...since then I dont think I have felt the same way about a women.


I always end up with them caring more...probably me trying to not be 100 percent at risk of getting crushed again

 

[STR8UP]

maybe its not ego...but after 6-8 months..I always lose interest..I have never really cared...when I was 15...my heart got broke in highschool...since then I dont think I have felt the same way about a women.


I always end up with them caring more...probably me trying to not be 100 percent at risk of getting crushed again

So you are afraid of commitment? HAHA

Seriously though, when someone talks about something that happened when they were 15, it gives a pretty good indication that they have not yet graduated to adult relationships.

Sorry man, calling it as I see it.

 

[synergy1]

The power of love is a curious thing
make a one man weep, make another man sing
Change a hawk to a little white dove
more than a feeling, that's the power of love

Tougher than diamonds, rich like cream
Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream
make a bad one good make a wrong one right
power of love that keeps you home at night

You don't need money, don't take fame
Don't need a credit card to ride this train
It's strong and it's sudden and it's cruel sometimes
but it might just save your life
That's the power of love
That's the power of love

First time you feel it, it might make you sad
Next time you feel it it might make you mad
But you'll be glad baby when you've found
that's the power makes the world go'round

And it don't take money, don't take fame
don't need a credit card to ride this train
It's strong and it's sudden it can be cruel sometimes
but it might just save your life

They say that all in love is fair
yeah, but you don't care
But you know what to do
when it gets hold of you
and with a little help from above
you feel the power of love
you feel the power of love
Can you feel it ?
Hmmm

It don't take money and it don't take fame
don't need a credit card to ride this train
Tougher than diamonds and stronger than steel
you won't feel nothin' till you feel
you feel the power, just FEEL the power of love
That's the power, that's the power of love
You feel the power of love
you feel the power of love
feel the power of love

Do you like Huey Lewis and the news? Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercial and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far much more bitter, cynical sense of humour. In '87, Huey released this, Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself.

 

[joekerr31]

heres the thing... its very easy to confuse 'love' with 'neediness'.

being able to 'love' is essential in life. but don't ever confuse 'love' with co-dependency or being a wimp or a 'nice' guy etc.

a MAN can love and not become dependent on the thing he loves. women LOVE this. what women hate is the man who becomes a slave to his emotions, who becomes NEEDY and calls it 'love'.

99% of AFCs are guys who are overly needy and each one of them has a story of how they 'loved' a woman who tore their heart out.

the reality is that they were beta males. a real man, an alpha male, loves not just his woman, but himself and his life. if his woman starts acting up, then he removes his love from her and moves on. he controls his love, not the other way around.

friv's problem is that he is viewing love as the answer, when in reality the answer is always about self love first and foremost - and self control and self respect. learn to love your life and then you've got a shot at loving a woman in a way that doesn't get you screwed in the end.

 

[frivolousz21]

the generalizations and stereotypes here are absurd.


you guys know about 5 percent of me.

thats why I refrain from making personal assumptions anymore here.


there is no point.

friv is this, he is that..

actually you have no idea..you haven't spent one moment with me.

I am 25, most of you are 10+ years older than me, coming to a message board and whining about women and your love life. I don't take shots..but you guys love to dish it out..yet some of you are the guys sitting on the internet with life long relationship issues.

 

[3countriesPlan]

everytime there is a fvcking love thread on the top of the discussion I just happen to have a bad day with the girls.. LOL

 

[Bible_Belt]

friv's problem is that he is viewing love as the answer, when in reality the answer is always about self love first and foremost - and self control and self respect. learn to love your life and then you've got a shot at loving a woman in a way that doesn't get you screwed in the end.

I agree that a lot of guys have that problem, but I don't think Friv does. Not that everyone doesn't have problems. I mean, he is a hockey fan. That's almost as bad as being Canadian.