kindasuave said:
I'm in college and i've been really good in the past at just cold approaching girls and hitting on them and then dancing and doing more with them.
But now i've lost it, i've gone back to high school AFC form where I don't even WANT to go up to most girls. The problem is that it's because i've got a cute sure thing that I can hit up. I don't like this though because it takes away from my game; I want to hit on other girls, but lately i noticed that ive gone back to that AFC "i'm so nervous to do something risky with a girl" self
Please help, how do I get back to the guy I was the last year when I'd hit on any and every girl
Some people are very external, in the sense that they subconsciously adapt traits that are specific to different "environments" (i.e. your new environment is one where you have a guaranteed booty call). Basically, because of X you act like Y, but if X wasn't there you'd act like Z. I think the security cushion of knowing that you'll always have someone to go back to at the end of the night is deterrent enough for you to meet other women.
First of all, this board has drastically changed from what it once was when I was still learning the game back in 2006. There is a ****load of misogynistic bull**** here; there are tons of bitter men here who absolutely hate women. Be extremely careful who's advice you take on this board, there has been a huge influx of people over the past two years or so with a specific mindset focused around hating women. If your ambition is to be an alpha male, then you need to be aware that being alpha has little correlation with the number of women that you game and have sex with.
If you're worried about this because it might hurt your game, then I have good news. It's not worth worrying about. Once you got the swing of things when it comes to interacting with women it's like riding a bike, and I wager that once your environment changes and you don't have that sure-thing you'll go back to your old self out of necessity (because, hey, you'll want to get laid).
The way I see it you have some introspective thinking to do about this girl. I had a similar situation to you my sophomore year in college, but despite her being a sure thing I could count on fvcking at the end of the night, I still was looking for someone else at the bars, and I still had no problem hooking up with other girls. She wasn't that important to me, and despite her wanting a relationship with me she was just a fling in my eyes. But the fact that you're hesitant about approaching and hooking up with other girls may be something to take into consideration. Maybe there's something there between you two that you don't get from other girls? And if there is? There's nothing wrong with escalating things between you two into a relationship. If you've found a girl that gets you and that you feel a connection with her, jump on that. You can fvck a random bar slut any time, but a genuine relationship like that is rare. And if it works out, that's great. If it doesn't, live and learn. It's college. Just keep in mind there's a distinction between liking her because of who she is and liking her because she's a guaranteed lay.
Do you like this girl? If yes, then take a chance, go. Being attached to the womanizer persona that this forum seems to idolize is an Achilles heel for someone like you. You're in college, now is the perfect time to get a few relationships underneath your belt so you have experience with them (this will benefit you in the long run). College relationships are carefree. Don't get her pregnant, that's all you have to worry about. If you're not satisfied, just end it and be on your way. There's plenty of time for womanizing after the fact if that's what you want.
But if you only are enamored with her because she's a guaranteed lay at the end of the night and you're frustrated on how its affecting your game with other women, then you know what you have to do. If you're like me and you're a very external person, you gotta cut it off between you two. Now that you don't have that safety net, you'll be liberated and it'll force you to adapt and go back to the way you were before.
There is no right or wrong answer here, it's your life, it's all about what you want and what will make you happy. **** everything else, do what feels right.
