Lost and without purpose

[Frozen799]

This will be long post - me bitching about life, so if you dont like it, dont read it.

I am 30 y old, worked the past 10 years in high paid jobs in Europe, but spent all of it on drugs, alcohol and partying, I am getting good salary, yet i havent saved anything. So my financial situation is okayish. If usually i am getting cocaine 5 times per year/ now i did that just in the past month out of boredoom, due to the corona virus. So thats how i started to realize few things about my life and the past 10 years... I will divide them accordingly:

1. Financials- not satisfied, not as I imagined in my 20s ( i though that i iwll retire at 30 and be a millionaire), I can still can afford to live comfortably, but dont own a place, and dont have/want a car. Lost all of my savings while trying to get into "investments" by playing the stock market during the last 2 years.

2. Career goals- currently i am not even sure what the **** I am doing in my job, do i want to do that until i die, or not. (background - worked in finance for 7 years, switched to programming in the past year). I have no purpose or career goals, even if i have, the thing that stops me that I will not get get above ****ing mediocrity or to have "Dan Bilzerian" lifestyle one-day (just example for Dan, maybe a bit less). The realization at this time that you might end-up being mediocre, is killing me, and thats where I am headed, add this to the fact that I think I wasted my 20s, and it gets even worse. The thought that its already too late.

3. Love life - practically non-existent at the moment, quarantine, and been since the past 2 years, when my 5yold relationship, decided she fell for another guy, not a big deal now tho, before that had another 5 years old relationship.(why the **** did i do this in my 20s, dont even ask me). The parts in europe where I live, the usual hook-up is not something common in bars, and its much harder to get girls, as it usually happens thru social circles and very rarely thru tinder/online game. The thing is that, I want *****, but dont want to bother myself wasting time on them, you want a nice girfriend, but my bar is so high, that they practically dont exist... to Some extent like everything that happened so far, i am like - there will be some girls and i am not worried, but the issue for me now is that i realize that, it will be some girl that wants me, not the girl that i want, like in everything else in life, i think i have let myself carried by the flow, without noticing much, without having firm control of how my life is going and what is happening.

3. Social circle - few best buddies, some friends, abandoned most of my female friends. Very few companies with nice girls in them. Some of my best buds never had a girlfriend (my age), or ****ed 5 times in the past 10 years, dont want to change that, dont want to approach women, or try to **** anything, which is really confusing to me... they just left themselves to the flow and whatever happens in their love lifes, they are better in their careers tho. Yet, they don't aim high, and they will be ok to be mediocre, is this something wrong with me?
Another thing, i was always a hater of the social medias such as fb, ig, and etc, only have fb, which doesnt have any pictures on it, and it seems now that the majority of the game is goign thru there... my though process was always, why would i want to share with friends/ppl that dont know me, what do i do at the moment, and why would i need their validation for that? Maybe i am just too afraid of the judgment, and that my ego baloon will burst? Yet the moment of realization that, even IF i am goodlooking/okayish, if i dont show myself, nobody will notice you...

4. Fitness and health - maybe something that i was very proud before the corona, started to really show some muscles and was very consistent with my diet/gym.

I know the right steps to take, like get your savings up, get healthy continue with the gym, that a girl won't solve all the issues that you have, but the though that all of that most probably will lead to mediocre lifestyle, mediocre girl, mediocre everything is killing me from inside and I feel helpless. And ever since my past relationship I am like - I want ot have 3-4 ****buddies, but i don't want to bother myself in chatting/meeting up, approaching them or getting a social media account to get girls. I want a very nice wife material girlfriend, but I dont want it at the same time, as i will be back on the flowing river, and lose my ambitions and purpose again as I did before, calming myself down and accepting everything, because you know... i got a very nice gf... The biggest issue dragging me down are my expectations in my 20s, of what I will be at my 30s, and now you realize that everything is far away from what you thought. (****ing different 10s every day, be a millionare or close, and have a very high standard of life, while waiting for the above to just fall in my lap, without taking any actions towards the set goals)

Is my thinking ****ed up? I am starting to think that everything is ****ing pointless, most probably I am just waking up to reality, and understanding that you should get firm control over your life and actually put some work to it, as nothing will be ever handed to you. Knowing that this circle will repeat itself, if you dont change or take any action.

Would be curious to receive your feedback, opinions and if some of you went thru this, how you handled it?

 

[skinnyguy]

I know what you mean by setting the bar high. I’m the same. I could get girls if I wanted but most of them aren’t acceptable to me. That makes dating very very difficult. Unless you’re a top tier Chad, you’re not going to be going out with that many women of your liking.

this is what happened. Your professional skills and intelligence allowed you to cruise through your 20s but you actually didn’t develop yourself. Just having a good salary doesn’t mean a thing. It’s more about what you do to reach a stronger sense of self and where you are headed.

you don’t have career goals because you’re more focused on having **** buddies. Your relationships-most women want something that leads to marriage but you weren’t there yet. Ok, accept that you weren’t ready. But also accept that in your 30s you won’t be the typical married guy who has 2.5 kids and a mortgage. You’ll follow a different path.

I guess you didn’t save money because you really just wanted to enjoy yourself. But you cannot eat the cake and have it. In order to enjoy later, you have to sacrifice in the present. Which means no spending money on drugs.

Retiring at 30 was never a reasonable goal. Was your plan to retire at 30 so you could be a gigolo and snort coke off women’s asses? Most people want to continue working throughout their life because it brings meaning to them. You need to find something that inspires you.

Money won’t make you happy or content. But I think that having a goal will. Your expectations of life are sky high. Unless you’re a celebrity or something you’re not likely to get all of those things. I would tamper my expectations of everything (money, women) and try to be less addicted to things.

 

[BaldandBrazy88]

Been there done that. I have the same feeling everyday. The feeling of not being where " I'm supposed to be, of have lost a lot of precious time" YUP. I know. I will quote the simp god, Drake for this one " RACE AGAINS MYSELF BUT IM A COUPLE STEPS BEHIND". meaning deep inside you know you re capable of way more, if you only had your sh&t together.
I did too, spent time with no good h0es, doing my thing, smoking my w33d, all that. In the blink of an eye I'm 25 and haven't graduated. Slowly but surely I'm taking the control of things back. The key for me, may help you too, is STRUCTURE. Have a calendar, have a diet plan, a workout plan, at the end of the day when you and mark the boxes, when you see how you made something happen in the right direction (no matter how small it was) it feels damn good. Regarding the ladies, you are already making bank, work on yourself a bit, the 9-10 you're looking for will come. Good luck to ya

 

[Lumix]

Hey man,

I feel like you are lucky actually because you still have a lot to build: yourself, your finance, your social life, etc... I did a big life reset when I was 35, the next 4 years were quite good, I fixed a ton of issues in my life and became quite successful.

But now I am 40, and you know what? I don't know where am I going next. Quite depressing and it's killing my self-confidence. I didn't waste my time and life, but for a year now, I am stuck, and I don't know what's next. Nothing drive me anymore, not even my freelance job, which generates most of my money.

And with that said, the problem is, when you have no purpose, you make women your purpose, which is a pretty bad idea and will never work. In time like that, I am like: I would like a family, I have everything else. But women flock around men who don't give a single fck about them, it's quite depressing to see that, but it's because they look confident. When I was focusing on my life and building my career I was quite successful without even thinking about it. I had a few girls every week sleeping at my place.

Honestly, I have no idea how to fix that. Finding a passion, a life purpose, it's not like you snap your fingers and you have it. I have list of stuff I'd like to do but I can't stick to anything long enough. Or just being grateful for what we have achieved so far if anything? Or running head first in a project and risking everything?

Would be cool to have some of the 50 or 60+ guys tell us about it.

Look, you are 30, you are going to be at the top of your attractiveness soon. So fix yourself and stop doing stupid stuff, like drugs and playing with money. You are in finance, you know what are compound interests, right? That'd a good start already. Keep your job, try to kickstart your finance and once you are on more solid ground, try to find a better one. Don't focus on women, they were not listed on the list of essential goods during COVID.

Sometimes being successful is just about not doing anything stupid.

 

[Frozen799]

@Lumix this is something that i just realized after reading your post - "thee problem is, when you have no purpose, you make women your purpose ", in the past when i had girls all the time around me, i was mostly chasing money/better jobs... now since i am like "ughh" with the money/jobs, i guess my focus switched to the women.

@BaldandBrazy88 - the issue was with the high expectations, but i think life will beat it up to me, and lower them by force. The structure part was easy, and thats why it was so ****ing depressing, when i just started to get handle of the things and the covid started....

@skinnyguy - i guess life will lower my expectations by force, which it already started doing... about focusing on girls, and not having purpose, i would say its the other way around - not have purpose or target, makes you focus on girls.... as there is nothing else interested or going on in your life.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

This will be long post - me bitching about life, so if you dont like it, dont read it.

I am 30 y old, worked the past 10 years in high paid jobs in Europe, but spent all of it on drugs, alcohol and partying, I am getting good salary, yet i havent saved anything. So my financial situation is okayish. If usually i am getting cocaine 5 times per year/ now i did that just in the past month out of boredoom, due to the corona virus. So thats how i started to realize few things about my life and the past 10 years... I will divide them accordingly:

1. Financials- not satisfied, not as I imagined in my 20s ( i though that i iwll retire at 30 and be a millionaire), I can still can afford to live comfortably, but dont own a place, and dont have/want a car. Lost all of my savings while trying to get into "investments" by playing the stock market during the last 2 years.

2. Career goals- currently i am not even sure what the **** I am doing in my job, do i want to do that until i die, or not. (background - worked in finance for 7 years, switched to programming in the past year). I have no purpose or career goals, even if i have, the thing that stops me that I will not get get above ****ing mediocrity or to have "Dan Bilzerian" lifestyle one-day (just example for Dan, maybe a bit less). The realization at this time that you might end-up being mediocre, is killing me, and thats where I am headed, add this to the fact that I think I wasted my 20s, and it gets even worse. The thought that its already too late.

3. Love life - practically non-existent at the moment, quarantine, and been since the past 2 years, when my 5yold relationship, decided she fell for another guy, not a big deal now tho, before that had another 5 years old relationship.(why the **** did i do this in my 20s, dont even ask me). The parts in europe where I live, the usual hook-up is not something common in bars, and its much harder to get girls, as it usually happens thru social circles and very rarely thru tinder/online game. The thing is that, I want *****, but dont want to bother myself wasting time on them, you want a nice girfriend, but my bar is so high, that they practically dont exist... to Some extent like everything that happened so far, i am like - there will be some girls and i am not worried, but the issue for me now is that i realize that, it will be some girl that wants me, not the girl that i want, like in everything else in life, i think i have let myself carried by the flow, without noticing much, without having firm control of how my life is going and what is happening.

3. Social circle - few best buddies, some friends, abandoned most of my female friends. Very few companies with nice girls in them. Some of my best buds never had a girlfriend (my age), or ****ed 5 times in the past 10 years, dont want to change that, dont want to approach women, or try to **** anything, which is really confusing to me... they just left themselves to the flow and whatever happens in their love lifes, they are better in their careers tho. Yet, they don't aim high, and they will be ok to be mediocre, is this something wrong with me?
Another thing, i was always a hater of the social medias such as fb, ig, and etc, only have fb, which doesnt have any pictures on it, and it seems now that the majority of the game is goign thru there... my though process was always, why would i want to share with friends/ppl that dont know me, what do i do at the moment, and why would i need their validation for that? Maybe i am just too afraid of the judgment, and that my ego baloon will burst? Yet the moment of realization that, even IF i am goodlooking/okayish, if i dont show myself, nobody will notice you...

4. Fitness and health - maybe something that i was very proud before the corona, started to really show some muscles and was very consistent with my diet/gym.

I know the right steps to take, like get your savings up, get healthy continue with the gym, that a girl won't solve all the issues that you have, but the though that all of that most probably will lead to mediocre lifestyle, mediocre girl, mediocre everything is killing me from inside and I feel helpless. And ever since my past relationship I am like - I want ot have 3-4 ****buddies, but i don't want to bother myself in chatting/meeting up, approaching them or getting a social media account to get girls. I want a very nice wife material girlfriend, but I dont want it at the same time, as i will be back on the flowing river, and lose my ambitions and purpose again as I did before, calming myself down and accepting everything, because you know... i got a very nice gf... The biggest issue dragging me down are my expectations in my 20s, of what I will be at my 30s, and now you realize that everything is far away from what you thought. (****ing different 10s every day, be a millionare or close, and have a very high standard of life, while waiting for the above to just fall in my lap, without taking any actions towards the set goals)

Is my thinking ****ed up? I am starting to think that everything is ****ing pointless, most probably I am just waking up to reality, and understanding that you should get firm control over your life and actually put some work to it, as nothing will be ever handed to you. Knowing that this circle will repeat itself, if you dont change or take any action.

Would be curious to receive your feedback, opinions and if some of you went thru this, how you handled it?

YouTube Dave Ramsey. Set minimum 15% of every dollar away. If work offers match contributions, take it.

Cut the drugs. Start goal setting. Fortune you didn't lose work witybdrug abuse.

It is delusional but priority and paths change. When I started game I want a 15/10 par me. As I get older, I enjoy a 6/6.5 top form SMV 18-23yr old over a late twenties 9/10 after decades off the CC seeking to play house now. **** off!

Read Eckhart tolle. Meditate. Set goals. Move to wards them.

 

[Noseekey]

This will be long post - me bitching about life, so if you dont like it, dont read it.

I am 30 y old, worked the past 10 years in high paid jobs in Europe, but spent all of it on drugs, alcohol and partying, I am getting good salary, yet i havent saved anything. So my financial situation is okayish. If usually i am getting cocaine 5 times per year/ now i did that just in the past month out of boredoom, due to the corona virus. So thats how i started to realize few things about my life and the past 10 years... I will divide them accordingly:

1. Financials- not satisfied, not as I imagined in my 20s ( i though that i iwll retire at 30 and be a millionaire), I can still can afford to live comfortably, but dont own a place, and dont have/want a car. Lost all of my savings while trying to get into "investments" by playing the stock market during the last 2 years.

2. Career goals- currently i am not even sure what the **** I am doing in my job, do i want to do that until i die, or not. (background - worked in finance for 7 years, switched to programming in the past year). I have no purpose or career goals, even if i have, the thing that stops me that I will not get get above ****ing mediocrity or to have "Dan Bilzerian" lifestyle one-day (just example for Dan, maybe a bit less). The realization at this time that you might end-up being mediocre, is killing me, and thats where I am headed, add this to the fact that I think I wasted my 20s, and it gets even worse. The thought that its already too late.

3. Love life - practically non-existent at the moment, quarantine, and been since the past 2 years, when my 5yold relationship, decided she fell for another guy, not a big deal now tho, before that had another 5 years old relationship.(why the **** did i do this in my 20s, dont even ask me). The parts in europe where I live, the usual hook-up is not something common in bars, and its much harder to get girls, as it usually happens thru social circles and very rarely thru tinder/online game. The thing is that, I want *****, but dont want to bother myself wasting time on them, you want a nice girfriend, but my bar is so high, that they practically dont exist... to Some extent like everything that happened so far, i am like - there will be some girls and i am not worried, but the issue for me now is that i realize that, it will be some girl that wants me, not the girl that i want, like in everything else in life, i think i have let myself carried by the flow, without noticing much, without having firm control of how my life is going and what is happening.

3. Social circle - few best buddies, some friends, abandoned most of my female friends. Very few companies with nice girls in them. Some of my best buds never had a girlfriend (my age), or ****ed 5 times in the past 10 years, dont want to change that, dont want to approach women, or try to **** anything, which is really confusing to me... they just left themselves to the flow and whatever happens in their love lifes, they are better in their careers tho. Yet, they don't aim high, and they will be ok to be mediocre, is this something wrong with me?
Another thing, i was always a hater of the social medias such as fb, ig, and etc, only have fb, which doesnt have any pictures on it, and it seems now that the majority of the game is goign thru there... my though process was always, why would i want to share with friends/ppl that dont know me, what do i do at the moment, and why would i need their validation for that? Maybe i am just too afraid of the judgment, and that my ego baloon will burst? Yet the moment of realization that, even IF i am goodlooking/okayish, if i dont show myself, nobody will notice you...

4. Fitness and health - maybe something that i was very proud before the corona, started to really show some muscles and was very consistent with my diet/gym.

I know the right steps to take, like get your savings up, get healthy continue with the gym, that a girl won't solve all the issues that you have, but the though that all of that most probably will lead to mediocre lifestyle, mediocre girl, mediocre everything is killing me from inside and I feel helpless. And ever since my past relationship I am like - I want ot have 3-4 ****buddies, but i don't want to bother myself in chatting/meeting up, approaching them or getting a social media account to get girls. I want a very nice wife material girlfriend, but I dont want it at the same time, as i will be back on the flowing river, and lose my ambitions and purpose again as I did before, calming myself down and accepting everything, because you know... i got a very nice gf... The biggest issue dragging me down are my expectations in my 20s, of what I will be at my 30s, and now you realize that everything is far away from what you thought. (****ing different 10s every day, be a millionare or close, and have a very high standard of life, while waiting for the above to just fall in my lap, without taking any actions towards the set goals)

Is my thinking ****ed up? I am starting to think that everything is ****ing pointless, most probably I am just waking up to reality, and understanding that you should get firm control over your life and actually put some work to it, as nothing will be ever handed to you. Knowing that this circle will repeat itself, if you dont change or take any action.

Would be curious to receive your feedback, opinions and if some of you went thru this, how you handled it?

I’m 24 and I feel the same exact way. At least you have a decent career that you can make good money with. I didn’t go to college and am working 2 basic jobs anyone can do. Haven’t read the advice given by others yet but I can say you’re not alone.

 

[Seductions_Mad_Scientist]

This will be long post - me bitching about life, so if you dont like it, dont read it.

I am 30 y old, worked the past 10 years in high paid jobs in Europe, but spent all of it on drugs, alcohol and partying, I am getting good salary, yet i havent saved anything. So my financial situation is okayish. If usually i am getting cocaine 5 times per year/ now i did that just in the past month out of boredoom, due to the corona virus. So thats how i started to realize few things about my life and the past 10 years... I will divide them accordingly:

1. Financials- not satisfied, not as I imagined in my 20s ( i though that i iwll retire at 30 and be a millionaire), I can still can afford to live comfortably, but dont own a place, and dont have/want a car. Lost all of my savings while trying to get into "investments" by playing the stock market during the last 2 years.

2. Career goals- currently i am not even sure what the **** I am doing in my job, do i want to do that until i die, or not. (background - worked in finance for 7 years, switched to programming in the past year). I have no purpose or career goals, even if i have, the thing that stops me that I will not get get above ****ing mediocrity or to have "Dan Bilzerian" lifestyle one-day (just example for Dan, maybe a bit less). The realization at this time that you might end-up being mediocre, is killing me, and thats where I am headed, add this to the fact that I think I wasted my 20s, and it gets even worse. The thought that its already too late.

3. Love life - practically non-existent at the moment, quarantine, and been since the past 2 years, when my 5yold relationship, decided she fell for another guy, not a big deal now tho, before that had another 5 years old relationship.(why the **** did i do this in my 20s, dont even ask me). The parts in europe where I live, the usual hook-up is not something common in bars, and its much harder to get girls, as it usually happens thru social circles and very rarely thru tinder/online game. The thing is that, I want *****, but dont want to bother myself wasting time on them, you want a nice girfriend, but my bar is so high, that they practically dont exist... to Some extent like everything that happened so far, i am like - there will be some girls and i am not worried, but the issue for me now is that i realize that, it will be some girl that wants me, not the girl that i want, like in everything else in life, i think i have let myself carried by the flow, without noticing much, without having firm control of how my life is going and what is happening.

3. Social circle - few best buddies, some friends, abandoned most of my female friends. Very few companies with nice girls in them. Some of my best buds never had a girlfriend (my age), or ****ed 5 times in the past 10 years, dont want to change that, dont want to approach women, or try to **** anything, which is really confusing to me... they just left themselves to the flow and whatever happens in their love lifes, they are better in their careers tho. Yet, they don't aim high, and they will be ok to be mediocre, is this something wrong with me?
Another thing, i was always a hater of the social medias such as fb, ig, and etc, only have fb, which doesnt have any pictures on it, and it seems now that the majority of the game is goign thru there... my though process was always, why would i want to share with friends/ppl that dont know me, what do i do at the moment, and why would i need their validation for that? Maybe i am just too afraid of the judgment, and that my ego baloon will burst? Yet the moment of realization that, even IF i am goodlooking/okayish, if i dont show myself, nobody will notice you...

4. Fitness and health - maybe something that i was very proud before the corona, started to really show some muscles and was very consistent with my diet/gym.

I know the right steps to take, like get your savings up, get healthy continue with the gym, that a girl won't solve all the issues that you have, but the though that all of that most probably will lead to mediocre lifestyle, mediocre girl, mediocre everything is killing me from inside and I feel helpless. And ever since my past relationship I am like - I want ot have 3-4 ****buddies, but i don't want to bother myself in chatting/meeting up, approaching them or getting a social media account to get girls. I want a very nice wife material girlfriend, but I dont want it at the same time, as i will be back on the flowing river, and lose my ambitions and purpose again as I did before, calming myself down and accepting everything, because you know... i got a very nice gf... The biggest issue dragging me down are my expectations in my 20s, of what I will be at my 30s, and now you realize that everything is far away from what you thought. (****ing different 10s every day, be a millionare or close, and have a very high standard of life, while waiting for the above to just fall in my lap, without taking any actions towards the set goals)

Is my thinking ****ed up? I am starting to think that everything is ****ing pointless, most probably I am just waking up to reality, and understanding that you should get firm control over your life and actually put some work to it, as nothing will be ever handed to you. Knowing that this circle will repeat itself, if you dont change or take any action.

Would be curious to receive your feedback, opinions and if some of you went thru this, how you handled it?

1) At what amount of money would you be satisifed ? If you dont know you need to find out. Because it determines the lifestyle decisions you can and cannot make which in turn affects your overall happiness. No matter what number you come to it's a lie and a game your playing with yourself. but its a lie we all play on ourselves. Imagine your friend tells you they want to make $2b in 1 year. So they are saying they want to make $1m per hour. Does that sound realistic to you? Wouldnt you laugh at the thought of that? If you want a framework take a life expectancy quiz, minus the result from your current age and multiply the amount of your current expense per month time that number and times 12 (eg: 5000 per month x 12 months per year x 50 years remaining = $3M) That number is the MINIMUM because it doesnt account for inflation, having a family, unforseen circumstances, etc. if $3.6M was your number then you couldnt afford to be paid less than $60K per year for a long time unless the variance in your wage is high enough that making more money later in life can offset making less now.

2.1) Really dude?. Late 20's/Early 30's and it's too late? STFU don't be stupid. Im roughly the same age as you and I feel like I'm barely getting started in my career trajectory. yet you feel like its over. haha
2.2) You very well might fail/might be essentially mediocre. Not everyone wins in a game. Not everyone who plays basketball is as good as Michael Jordan. but you don't get to play unless you roll the dice. Do your best and work your hardest and then see where the chips land. On a personal level. Most people are crap at most things, decent at a smaller set of things, and really good at a much smaller set of things. Thats normal.
2.3) You better figure this out asap. It's imperative.

Not much else to say other than you need to figure it out.

Don't put so much value on the term millionaire. mathematically speaking if you work 40 hours per week @ ~$10/Per hour in a little over 48 years you have technically earned $1m directly from your labour. Obviously you can change those number based on circumstance. But $1m is not that much at any scale of consideration that matters. In theory if you make that much money ($10PH or more) and have that much time available you can say in a way you are a future millionaire. so ****-ing what? What if you made $999,999.99 in your life. Are you then technically a failure? What if you have either $1M or $10M are you equally succesful because they both are in millions?

In regards to nihilism/existentialism and the meaning of life problem:

You can't just jump to the conclusion that life does actually have meaning. That is a statement that needs more evidence to be proven true.

So what if life has no essential meaning? You have to think about whether or not life having meaning determines whether you should continue to live ( I think you should.) In other words, Is your decision to do literally anything based on the presumption that things need to have meaning in the first place? Look around you. lots of things have no essential meaning, yet they exist. What is the meaning of the atoms that make up the keyboard you're typing on? do they have meaning? probably not. But do they exist? yes.

Also, at what scale of analysis does a thing start to have meaning?

does an atom have meaning?
does a cell have meaning?
does an organism have meaning?
what about a planet?
what about the universe?
At some point we seem to think a thing has to have meaning but above/below that point it doesnt. Why would most people say an atom doesn't carry meaning but a human does? humans are just made of atoms? so 1 atom has no meaning but somehow trillions of atoms do?

You don't need a thing to have meaning for it to exist or for you to do it. A rat probably doesnt (Although I cant possibly know.... ya know cuz solipsism) think about the meaning of running away from a snake.

Also how arrogant of you to assume what you think matters is more important than other things? Why should your goals matter any more than anyone elses? Because it makes you feel good. So what? Figure your life out and go for it. The information is out there. So if you fail to figure it out that is no ones responsibility but your own.